Chapter 2

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I felt my hand twitch against the sheets. For once, I felt light-- as if I had no care in the world.

No screaming, no crying, no pain.

The steady beeping continued on, counting itself into my mind as I stirred a bit in my dream.

...Being peaceful is all great and shit, but I have a 27-page research essay due in two days for my anthropology class, and I don't want my 15 percent to be taken off like--

My eyes snapped open, hissing at the blinding whiteness of the room. Blinking a couple of times, I tried to push the grogginess out of my eyes before I noticed a needle taped onto my skin, digging itself into my blood vessel. A long, thin tube followed the needle, connecting itself to a tall bag filled with clear liquid hanging from a steel hanger.

Memories crashed back into my head, pounding them in with a hammering headache.

Oh--my parents-- I had--

"Sayu?" A barely audible hasp flew out from my side as I snapped my head to see a pale face, trembling with concern and relief. As if on instinct, a word tumbled out of my mouth before I could process what the hell was happening.

"...Mom?"

"Sayu--Oh my goodness--Sayu!" The woman flung herself towards me, crushing my body down on the bed with her weight. I flinched at her actions, holding back a painful groan as my hands flew towards her back to support her trembling body.

"Do you feel pain? Anywhere?!" Her tear-stained face lifted from my left shoulder, both of her hands holding up my face as her worried gaze searched mine. Cringing momentarily, I stared weirdly back at her.

The woman's dark brown hair stunned me for a second, her pink lip trembled as tears started rolling down her cheeks again.

"Oh my daughter--my daughter!'

I stared at her wrinkles and the dark circles under her eyes in confusion as a thought bombarded into my brain.

...Who dis?

My mom didn't have wrinkles on her skin. My mom cared for her skin even more than her own child! My mom didn't have shit-coloured hair or brown eyes! My mom wasn't that thin or light!

My mom--was dead.

I searched her face again, trying to search through my muddled memories for this strange aunty.

"...!" A shock sprung out and clamoured into my brain nerves, instantly making me shrivel up in agony. I heard an alarming cry from the background as the weight of my legs disappeared almost instantly.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Sayu...Happy birthday to you!"

"Happy 14th Birthday, Sayu!" The petite woman clapped happily as I sat in front of a huge tiramisu cake. The smile upon my face widened uncontrollably in joy as I looked around the table, searching through the faces of my family members.

"Dad! You're remembered!" I gasped out in joy as I carefully unwrapped the rectangular present, the coverings revealed a brown textbook with nocturnal pictures of tall buildings.

"Of course, my very own daughter wants to be a lawyer, after all. You make me proud!" Dad's laugher bellowed out as she smiled fondly and patted my head. My eyes skipped joyfully towards my elder brother as I pouted, crossing my arms in a childish way as I stamped my foot on the ground, trying to look intimidating.

"Light, don't tell me you actually forgot about my birthday!"

"How could I?" My brother calmly smiled and slid out another rectangular present behind his back. This time though, it was pink. "I remember you mentioning that you needed this."

The memory flicked in and out, suddenly enveloping me in darkness.

"Thank you for being born in the Yagami family...Sayu."

I choked on air, snapping my eyes open in pure alarm. The first thing I noticed was a replica of the brother from my memories, rushing into the hospital room with his perfected facade of worry stretched disgustingly over his face. The previous memory queased in my stomach, making my hands quake on the thin sheets. The sounds of beeping entered my ears, shaking me awake against my tumbling emotions.

I gaped.

"What. The. Fuck. Light?"

Whoop.

And cue the fainting.

My stomach honestly felt like a void filled with vomitted stench. It lurched, slamming into my ribcage as my heart hammered across the floorboards of my lungs.

Disgusting. Utterly nauseating.

The corner of my lips threatened to spill out in hysteria as I suppressed it down by clenching my teeth. What kind of abominable dream was that?

A lawyer?

A fucking lawyer?!

What, I wanna arrest myself for thrid degree murder from my past life?!

I fought the urge to slap myself senseless.

To think that someone who doesn't give a damn about the rules would want to want to be a perfect, law-abiding citizen in my next life.

Hah! What a joke!

I trampled down another rebelling urge to slap myself and shriek my lungs out. I slowly inhaled a deep breath of air, calming my inner turmoil.

But hey, Sayu was up to something, wasn't she? I heaved in another deep breath as I counted up random numbers and imagined sitting in front of a field of grass.

A lawyer, huh?

Lawyers only lie when their lips move.

Totally forgot who said that but, well, lawyers are known to be the best liars. Could it be that Sayu had some kind of hidden motive behind her so-called justice reason for working in court?

...No.

No, I knew her the best. She wanted to become a lawyer to exploit the actual liars that worked under that quote. Well, stupid goal if I would say so myself, because, come on! Who doesn't work for money? What a hypocrite. She makes me feel disgusted by my own tainted morals.

No, at best, if I wanted to survive against Kira, being a lawyer would help me attain the perfect disguise. A faithful, justice-seeking lapdog.

But that only made things clear.

I was not Sayu, or vice versa.

I didn't care if I was originally Sayu and had magically remembered my past life. I didn't care if I somehow hijacked her body and had the potential to yeet myself off a building with her body. No, memories were what made us unique. And with the memories of my past life strongly overpowering the ones in this life, I was not Sayu at all.

Yet I was in Sayu. And with the memories of Death Note no less. I mentally sighed at my situation, feeling the weight of my future plans and questions. Knowing the future was supposed to be a good thing--and it was. Yet having a time-ticking bomb as a brother was not exactly the most desirable.

Well, what should I do? Should I help that dear brother of mine? Or should I go to L?

In the first place, how was I even sure that the future events of Death Note would actually play out? Well, it would be best if it didn't but-- in the case that it did…

To be or nor to be, that was the question.

Well, there wouldn't be a question if I became the ruler myself.

I was no saint Marie, neither a reincarnation of Hitler. I was just me, a girl who lost her chance of becoming King.

Not in this life, though.