Chapter 2 : Same Shit Different Toilet

Brooks’ POV

We’ve been driving for around 14 hours. The twins slept through most of it in the back seat, they must’ve been exhausted. We all are. I could still hear my parents screaming as we drove off. My mom because we left, and my dad because I took his car. I could feel the bruise starting to darken on my cheek becoming more tender. Paris just stares out of the window, watching the cars making the same trek as us.

It was a fucking stupid idea. But it’s the best I’ve got. We couldn’t stay there; I couldn’t let them grow up in that house. Become like me.

“Why aren’t mama and daddy coming with us?” Ruby’s tiny voice came from the back seat. I wish I could be honest with her and tell her every reason why I took them from everything they’ve ever known.

“Because they’re pieces of shit Rue.” Paris turns around in the passenger seat to look at her sister. The first words she’s uttered since last night.

I shift my head to look at her slightly before turning back to the road, “Watch it.” She scoffs, rolls her eyes, and focuses back to the passing cars.

“They need to get their stuff in order first, so the four of us are going first.” I look at Ruby through my rear-view mirror. I feel fucking helpless right now in my dead-end circumstances. I have to be stronger than that. I have to be better for them.

“So, they’ll come live with us again one day?” Riley seemed happy at the thought. They don’t have a fucking clue. They think this kind of chaos is normal. That’s the problem. I make a small hum, avoiding her eyes that were looking to me for reassurance. I hate the lies, but they don’t need to know all the fucked up shit I do. I tried to keep it from getting to Paris. A piss-poor attempt at giving her an actual childhood. The one I didn’t get the chance to have. I clearly failed miserably. The guilt never really leaves me alone to a moment of peace.

I sigh as I made a turn into a gas station. “Anyone need the bathroom?” I sun burns my eyes as I get out to pump the gas. Both Ruby and Riley give confirmation while releasing themselves from their car seats.

Before I could take action- “I’ll take them.” Paris opens her door and rounds the car to open the back door, the twins shuffling out.

“You don’t have to, don’t worry.” I make a move towards them but the three of them are already headed off.

“Nah its fine, I have to go too anyways.” I sigh in defeat. She’s become like a ‘defacto’ mom to Ruby and Riley at the ripe age of thirteen. I hate it. I watch the meter carefully with pin point accuracy. A skill I’ve polished over the years.

Retracting the nozzle before the bill gets too high. I can almost hear my wallet screaming in agony as I hand the cash over to the guy behind the till. He looks how I feel. Defeated and tired as fuck.

It was only a short drive to our new place. I found it on craigslist yesterday, it’s the cheapest and best I could afford. I used to make money off the kids at my old school, writing essays and doing projects. Shit like that. I couldn’t really work, except for mowing lawns and walking dogs. The second I turned sixteen two years ago I got a part time gig at the worn down, near-bankruptcy, game store near my house.

Safe to say that barely covered our light bill back home, much less food. I had been secretly saving to get Paris this new game system she’d always look at when the three of them would sit at work with me. Now that money was keeping us alive. Fuck I’m an idiot. I should never have done this.

I pulled up to a big apartment building. The grey paint it was adorned in was slowly but surely chipping and flaking off, letting the light orange from its previous life peak through.

“Stay here.” I say as I get out to meet the guy standing outside the gate, who I assume is Henry, our new landlord. He was a short nearly bald man, leaning against the wall, cigarette lit and puffing.

“Hey, Henry right?” he looks to me, letting out a cloud of smoke. Fuck I hate that smell. It brings back too many harsh memories. I try to hide my distain but I don’t think it did anything to erase my slight scowl.

“Don’t like smokers huh?” he drops the half burnt bud onto the brick, stepping on it to put it out. “You Kane?” he questions looking up at me, eyes slightly squinted from the sunlight.

I look down and let out a small chuckle at his remark. “Yeah, that’s me.”

He leans slightly over to the side, looking to my car. “You aint’ one of those freaks who likes little girls are ya?” He says with obvious disgust. To be honest the thought makes me feel the same way.

“They’re my fucking sisters!” I raise my voice a little more than I should. He throws his hands up in a mock surrender. Reaching into his pocket and fishing for something.

“I aint’ mean no harm. Can never be too careful nowadays.” He pulls out a set of keys, handing them to me. “This one’s for this gate right here,” He gestures to the entrance. “This one’s for your front door, and this one’s to the laundry room on the first floor. I already set up the buzzer for ya’, put a sticker with ya’ name on it and everything. Apartment 26, have fun.” He smiles and pats me on the shoulder before walking off, to an old black Mercedes. Fucking weirdo.

I motion to the girls to get out and follow me. Fiddling with the keys to open the gate and walking up a couple flights of stairs.

“Welcome home guys.” I say as I pushed open the old wooden door, the hinges squeaking loudly. There was an old couch against the yellow stained wall. Previous tenants must’ve been some fucking heavy chain-smokers. The girls walked through their new space with hesitation. I followed suit. There were only 2 bedrooms and a single small bathroom. The place was a couple steps up from a dump, but it was safe.

“You two can take the bunk beds in there,” I directed Riley and Ruby, “P, you can take the other room. I’ll take the couch.” I said haphazardly, going to get what little we had brought with us out of the trunk.

Three duffle bags. That’s all we have. Mostly clothes, a few pictures, documents, and all the money we had. We’d left almost all of our old life behind. I was so angry, my parents had one fucking job. They didn’t even fucking try.

I tried my hardest to swallowed down the burning rage that had settled in me as I gathered the bags in my arms, locking the car. I dropped them at the door when I got in.

“I’m going to run some errands. I’ll be back in a couple hours.” I say leaning into the room the twins would be staying in. “You guys gonna be okay while I’m gone?”

“No! We’ll perish without you in a matter of minutes!” Paris quips with a dramatic hand to the forehead. I smile and shake my head at her sarcasm.

I saw a few schools in the area when I was researching this place. I don’t have a phone so I used to go to the library to use the computers. I kinda miss that crap stain of a place. That was where we would go when dad was on one of his benders. The scratchy carpets were more of a home to us than our house was. Mrs Jenson was sweet, always offering us snacks from her personal stash. I loved that shit hole.

“Hi, I need to enrol here. I know it’s the middle of the semester but is there any way you have a two vacancies available.” I say to the secretary after walking around aimlessly avoiding passing students giving me an eye of curiosity, trying to find the front office. She looked like a sweet lady. Her brown hair up in a bun at the back of her head, glasses perched on the end of her nose.

“Sure, I’m sure there’s something we can do. Do you have transfer papers?” shit. I didn’t even think about fucking transcripts. I look down trying to think. To think of anything.

“Um... no. No I don’t.” I sigh, looking back up to her in defeat

“Oh.” She looks at me with pity. I hate that look. “I’m sorry Hun. but there’s nothing I can do without those forms.” She says with sympathy, clearly sensing my desperation. I guess it slipped through without me realizing.

“Please isn’t there some way we can move forward without them.” I damn near plead to her. I needed this. I need to finish school so I can actually give us a decent life. Paris needs to finish school, she has to.

“Y’know what, let me get the principle for you and you both can talk it over.” She gets up from her desk and goes deeper into the back of the office. I wait there for a few minute, anxiously awaiting her return. I rest my hands in my hair, running through my locks. I guess I could try and drive back to our old school and try and get those papers. But I don’t even know if that’d work. And what about the girls. I can’t just leave them alone. Fuck, what am I going to do.

“You can go round back Hun. Last door to the right.” The sweet voice of the receptionist snaps me out of my head before it explodes. I smile at her with a brief thank you as I follow her directions to the principal’s office in the back.

I enter the desolate room; the principle is nowhere in sight. Running my sweaty palms over my denim clad thighs, to hopefully calm my nerves.

Apprehensively I take a seat in one of the two chairs in front of the big wooden desk. It looks so… expensive. Everything in this room does. The shelves decked out with books and awards from various occasions. The sleek monitor on the desk.

“Sorry for the slight wait,” I snap my head behind me to the woman who makes her way behind the desk, and sitting in the big leather chair opposite me. “Principle Briggs. And you are?” she reaches over to shake my hand.

“Brooks Kane. Thank you for… um seeing me.” I chuckle nervously withdrawing my hand and resting it in my lap again.

“No problem. Susan said you’re having some issues with obtaining transcripts?”

“Yes. For my sister and I. Well, um,” I stutter out my words, trying to figure out how to explain. “I didn’t think about it before, we uh, left.” I choke that last bit out through the growing lump in my through and the swirling in my gut.

“Is something wrong?” she leans her head to the side cocking a curious and concerned brow in my direction. I shut my eyes and bring my fingers up to the bridge of my nose, head hung low.

“Brooks, how old are you, and your sister?” she clasps her hands in front of her, leaning in with a soothing tone. The kind you’d use on a small child or a scared puppy. I’m so fucking pathetic.

“Eighteen and thirteen ma’am. And I have two other sisters that are four.” I raise my eyes to match her waiting gaze.

“And your parents?” A frown graces my features before I can stop myself. I try so hard to remain neutral. Squeezing my hands into fists so tight that my nails start to dig their way into the surface of my skin. Any harder and I’m sure I’d draw blood. I shake my head and look away in shame. If I speak now I’m not sure if I’d be able to get any words out or if they’d be overtaken by a chocked out sob. “I see.” She sighs and gives her own nod to my non-response. Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth and going to click away at her laptop for a few minutes. ‘Don’t fuck this up’ I kept repeating in my head over and over. ‘I can’t fuck this up.

“Here’s what I can do. I can email your old school to obtain your records. We have a couple scholarships available if you’d like to apply for those as well.” She said once her typing came to a halt.

“You’d do that? Thank you! Thank you so much Principle Briggs!” My eyes lit up at her words. God, thank you.

“It’s my job to help. Just promise me one thing.” I nodded for her to continue. She started writing on a sticky-note. “If you ever need anything you’ll come to me.” She handed the small pink washed paper to me. Looking it over I read her number and home address scribbled in black pen cursive.

“I will, thank you.” I made to get up and exit the room, but just as I was about to exit into the hallway-

“And your sisters,” Turning around in the doorway to face her again. “They’re your responsibility. I don’t know what your situation is but if something really serious happens, I will have to call CPS. Come back tomorrow morning so I can help you fill out those scholarship forms.” I swallow. The action making my Adams apple bob up and down. I give a tight lipped smile, holding up the note with an unsaid ’I understand’.

A new rush of hope fills me as I drive down the streets of our new town. A hope that everything would be okay. We’ll be okay.

I stop by the nearest grocery store I had seen on my way back home. Walking down the aisles of food, drink and dessert. I didn’t bother to use one of those blue baskets at the entrance. It’s not like I was going to haul enough food to feed an army. Not even close. I carry a single loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, a gallon of milk, a box of the cereal, a set of plastic cutlery and bowls in my arms. The ’10 items or less’ line is so customary. A staple in the Kane household.

Again I’m haunted by the screams as I pocket my leather wallet once more.

My original intention was to head back to the girls who must’ve ‘perished without me’, but a sign catches my eye. I park in front of the huge building with the sign out front saying in bold letters ‘Claire’s Place’. It seems like a really cool place and pretty busy for a Monday afternoon.

“Hey! You’re a face I haven’t seen around here.” A deep sound bellows out of one of the men behind the front desk. His smile was infectious.

“Yeah, I just moved here.” We talked for around half an hour. The man, who I now know as Simon Claire, told me all about how he opened this place with his wife after they both retired.

I love the love he speaks with when he talks about her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man this love struck. His eyes light up, the corners of them creasing as he recalls a memory. The way he seems so… happy.

I liked listening to him talk. He offered to show me around tomorrow when he had time so I could decide if I wanted to join and maybe sign up for a class or two. A rushed “Oh I could never afford to join a place like this.”

Was met with “Come anyway, I’ll let you join in a class if you’re up for it.” I obviously accepted the offer. We said our goodbyes and before I knew it I was saying hello to exhaustion induced sleep.