13 To Understand is Not to Forgive. It Only Means to Stop Hating

Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew that everything Piotr did was purely out of sincere concern. For some reason he trusted Hubert enough to entrust him with his cousin's safety. Maybe the situation had actually taken a slightly different turn than the young priest might have expected, but life didn't always go according to plan.

When Hubert approached him, Adam was sitting by the lake, in the dark and alone. Did he really take him for a thief, or did he know who he was all along? Did he plan to take advantage of the situation, or did it just work out that way? He came to see if there was any need to pull out the drowning man and somehow, under the influence of the night...

That was Adam's basic problem - he was always trying to understand and justify the behavior of others. Although "tried" was not the right phrase. It came to him on its own. Someone once said of him that he had a very high level of empathy. Someone else stated that he was hypersensitive. Whatever it was and whatever you want to call it, the fact remained that Adam was always able to understand others, even if they committed crimes. He knew that no one is born bad and no one wants to be bad, it's just that there are situations in life that they can't deal with other than doing something bad.

He probably would have understood Wojciech Kwiecień if he had tried. But he did not want to justify his crimes. So he ran away.

Though to understand is not to forgive. It only means to stop hating.

Piotr's intentions were sincere and pure. After all, he himself admitted that he had not expected this turn of events. It would be strange if he predicted. As a priest, Piotr could not have encouraged anyone, much less pushed anyone into adultery, or whatever you want to call what happened between Adam and Hubert. And on top of that, they were both of the same sex, so Piotr definitely could not intentionally push them towards each other. It was probably just that Piotr was so worried about Adam's mental state.

Young lawyer sighed. He absolutely could not blame his cousin.

Adam's anger passed as quickly as it had come. As he knew his cousin, the man was still waiting downstairs. So he went down the stairs and while still in the hall he saw through the open door Piotr, who was leaning with his buttocks on the hood of his car and looking towards the stairs.

“Oh, you are our guest”Adam heard a woman's voice. He turned towards her and saw a tall, slim, middle-aged brunette.

“Yes” he approached her. “Adam Lechoń, nice to meet you.”

“Beata Kniotek, the owner. How do you like our hotel? Unfortunately, the kitchen is not ready yet, you know, it's still before the season... Normally, we wouldn't accept a guest, but priest Lechoń asked so strongly...”

“I am very grateful to you”Adam said with a charming smile. He had no idea what Piotr told the owners, but whatever it was, the suddenness of his appearance must have aroused the owners' interest.

“The air in Masuria is very healthy. We have peace and quiet here. A perfect place to relax.”

“I definitely support it. When I return to Warsaw I will not forget to mention this hotel to my friends. I think that a few will go here for one of the weekends, although in our profession it is difficult to have one.”

“I heard that you are overworked” she looked at him with the eyes of an old, experienced investigator.

“Yes, a little bit” he admitted without stopping smiling very kindly. “I suspect that if I spent one more day in the office, I would start walking on the walls.”

“Young people these days are chasing success too much” Mrs. Kniotek said with the wisdom of a woman who has lived and seen everything.

“Because you, the old ones, think that this is the most important thing in life and you force us to do it” said Magda, who today had her hair loose but just as colourful, but her make-up was even stronger and her shorts even shorter. “All you care about is money and success, not dreams, not feelings. And then it's us, the young ones, who suffer under the consequences of social pressure. Right, oppa?” She turned to Adam.

Oppa? Big brother?

“What do you know, you little brat? The only thing that matters to you is your Korean shows! You can speak up when you learn to live!”

“I'm learning life!” she resisted. “I'm learning not to submit to the oppression of money and outdated opinions. I am learning to choose my own path and follow my passion!”

“Passion! You would learn a decent profession and start earning a living...”

“Only money! Always money! You say that Korean TV series are detached from reality, but you act like a typical Korean TV series mother - it's the money that matters to you, not the happiness of your own child!”

The teenager scrunched up her nose and ran outside the hotel. Adam was reminded of his domestic squabbles when his parents were unable to accept his otherness. But he didn't have the courage to just tell his mother off and leave. That's why she always yelled at him, and he listened, then locked himself in his room, wanting to disappear from the face of the earth.

“I'm sorry about my daughter. She has a big mouth.”

“I think it's a good sign that she can fight for herself. She'll need it when she grows up.”

“Maybe... I don't understand why there's always this problem with kids.”

“It's not my place to say anything because I don't have kids, but isn't that what growing up is all about? I think it's called the "rebellious phase".”

“But you admit that a good job is the basis of a good life?”

He wanted to tell her that you can choose a job that matches your interests and predispositions, just like he did, and then be happy, but after the Kwiecień case he lost faith in it.

He was, however, a lawyer. Saying what should be said the way someone wants to hear it was not only part of his professional duties but had already become second nature to him.

“I know from experience that the most successful people, including financially, are those who have been able to combine a career with passion. Being a lawyer or a doctor, even a good one, does not necessarily guarantee big money and a beautiful career. Competition is as high as, say, in showbiz. And there are certainly actors on screen who make your day more enjoyable.”

“Such an idea!” she blushed like a person her daughter's age. “Being my age!”

“What does age have to do with it? Thirty-five is not a tragedy.”

“Well... not a tragedy...” she admitted. To Adam's eye she was at least forty five, after all, her daughter was no longer a baby either, but which woman does not like to hear a compliment? “But you are a charming man, a charming man indeed! Father Piotr warned that I would like you.”

“Oh!”

Adam was surprised by her words. He wondered what other arguments his cousin used to convince the hotel owners to accept an out-of-program guest so quickly.

“And... how long have you known our vicar?” She asked curiously.

“Longer than I can remember. Our fathers are brothers.”

“No... Really?” She looked genuinely surprised. “Oh, I just now noticed that you have the same last name! Lechoń!”

“Unfortunately, it was up to me to play the black sheep of the family, although my cousin always walks in black” Adam winked at the woman.

Mrs. Kniotek giggled, clearly pleased with the joke, and said that if he needed anything, he could just let her, her daughter or her husband know. He thanked her with relief at the end of this tiresome conversation. He was in no mood to maintain the disguise of an impeccable lawyer.