Between the Mind and the Heart

Adam's blue eyes glazed over, just like last night. Hubert, just like then, wanted to shed those tears but had a feeling that it wasn't the right time after all. Yesterday Adam didn't think, or his head was full of absurdities, today he seemed to be trying to cope with some heavy thoughts…

"I understand it" admitted the lawyer. "I understand all your arguments, Piotr's, my boss's. I'm not an idiot, hell. I understand, but I still can't shake the guilt. A man was killed, a fourteen-year-old boy who had his whole future ahead of him. I didn't kill him personally, I didn't suspect the crime but that doesn't change the fact that I was one link in the chain that led to his death. The other links might not give a damn, they might tell themselves that they didn't know, that they couldn't have done anything, they might even blame the other links, but I can't do that. Yes, I'm weak and flawed and stupid, but that's who I am!"

"And I think you are beautiful. Ok, a little dumb, but beautiful. And I'm not just talking about your body. There's too much indifference in the world, and you can't be indifferent. It's stupid because all it brings is trouble and pain, but beautiful because that's what we should all be."

They looked into each other's eyes and Hubert saw Adam's slowly changing ones. At first they widened, then they began to become bright and dry, and suddenly Hubert heard the beating of his heart - loud, clear, strong like the beating of a clock hand in the complete silence of a sleepless night.

"And people say," Adam laughed uncertainly "that I am the honeyed one."

He poured himself another glass and gulped it down almost without blinking.

"You know, I'm supposedly a damn good lawyer. I've never lost a case," he said. "Even if there is a settlement, my client is always satisfied. I'm a damn good criminal lawyer. There was even a rumor that I always get the innocent cases. Easy ones, hard ones, but my client was always innocent. Boss never assigned me any other cases. Funny, isn't it? I think so. I think... they were right."

"And that last one?"

"A coincidence. Mistake. The partner I report to, the boss, was going to a conference in Brno. The Sznurownik case was among other pro bono cases and those almost all go to me. When Niedziałek returned, he wanted to take the case away from me, but I was already holding it with my teeth and did not want to let it go, convinced of my client's innocence. I even convinced my boss of it. I think he was sure beforehand."

"That... the defendant is guilty?"

"Or maybe not? I don't know."

"Maybe he had a hunch based on experience."

"This case was so easy to win. It really was."

Another glass. Fifth? Sixth? He clearly needed to get drunk badly. Hubert knew this from experience, so he poured him another one himself.

"From what I can see, someone just didn't prepare for it. And I don't mean you."

"The media had a real, live serial killer for the first time in a long time. The pressure to solve the case must have been intense. The cops matched two for two. The circumstantial evidence was unmistakable. But they had built the case crappily."

Adam propped his head visibly pulled by gravity toward the table. Hubert decided he felt sorry for the young attorney who, because of someone else's shoddy work, must now agonize with remorse. It seemed that in his case the saying was true that no good deed goes unpunished.

He himself also drank a glass. Adam, meanwhile, closed his eyes and his nodding head slipped from his hand and eventually fell to the table top. It didn't have far to go, so it didn't clatter loudly. The lawyer mumbled something in his sleep and drifted off. Maybe he had a low tolerance for alcohol, or maybe the emotional strain flowing behind the case caused him to get drunk so quickly.

Whatever it was, Hubert decided to let him sleep in a warm bed.

"Adam" he walked over to him and reached for his arm. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

" Ymmmmm..."

"Come on, wake up for a while more" he threw his arm over his shoulder and pulled him up. "And once!"

With the last remnants of his consciousness, the lawyer let himself be lifted up and even led a few steps, but he quickly went limp and started to overflow Raymund's arms. Hubert cursed under his breath and took him in his arms.

Adam, despite his inertia, was surprisingly light. Had he always been this way, or had the last few days made him lose weight? No wonder Piotr was so worried about him.

Hubert also felt uneasy at the thought of Adam losing weight because of the incident. Weight loss, bad mood, alcohol... Let's hope this doesn't take a turn for the worse. Raymund may not have known Lechoń well, but he already felt enough affection for him to care about his health.

Hubert gently laid Adam on bed. He pulled off his shoes and covered him with a blanket. The lawyer curled up in an embryonic position and pulled the blanket over his head, as if he wanted to return to the safety of his mother's womb, isolated from this world. He seemed so small, innocent and vulnerable.

Hubert looked at Adam for a moment and then left him alone.

When the serial killer case was in the news in Poland, Hubert was in Sweden. He had lived there permanently for many years. He remembered that the Swedish media had mentioned the case, but they hadn't made a sensation out of it, so he hadn't paid attention to it. Now, however, life brought him into contact with people for whom it was too important to ignore any longer. He had already learned a lot, but not enough to have an opinion about her himself.

He launched a browser on his phone and typed in a query. A series of headlines and several videos appeared. He turned on the newest one, added today at a quarter to fourteen.

It showed a young man, about his age, elegant, confident, standing on the steps of the courthouse. He was surrounded by a garland of journalists.

"My client is innocent," he addressed them with appropriate emphasis. "The previous trial proved his innocence and please do not forget that in the eyes of the law every citizen is innocent until proven guilty."

"The prosecutor has announced an appeal to a higher instance," a female journalist pointed out. "In light of the new facts, does this not mean that the process is still ongoing?"

"This is prosecutor's right, but it is empty resistance on his part and a waste of taxpayers' money."

"Why are you now Wojciech K.'s defence counsel?" asked the same woman. "Why isn't he being defended by his previous lawyer? Did he withdraw because he discovered that the defendant was guilty?"

Presumably everyone in attendance wanted to hear the answer because there was absolute silence.

"Miss Madera, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but let's stick to proper terminology" he pointed out to her. "My client is detained, not defendant. The court has not yet indicted him."

"But isn't it just a matter of time?"

"So then we'll start using that word."

"Why does counsellor Lechoń no longer conduct this case?" Someone else picked up on this. "Is it true that he resigned because his client is guilty?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately, we do not have this freedom. Besides, attorney Lechoń has already proven that he believes in his client's innocence by freeing him from the charges and over a year in prison. I, in turn, will prove that my client was a victim of police ineptitude, who, unable to catch the real murderer, made him a scapegoat."

The video has come to an end.

So the lawyer doesn't have the luxury of dropping the case? That's why Adam's withdrawal from it is of interest. Hubert wasn't interested in law or politics, but he knew how big a role the media had and that they could bring down those standing tallest. If the media blows up Lechoń's case, the bar association will have to do something about it, which means he will probably face disciplinary proceedings.