Chapter 50

My stomach suddenly rumbled loud, ruining the moment. Ryu paused then gave me a disapproving look.

I folded my arms and pouted. I actually forgot that I had thrown up everything in my stomach so it was practically empty.

"What?" I said with a huff. "It's your fault I didn't eat. I was about to when you came and distracted me with all your kisses"

He raised a perfect brow. "So I shouldn't kiss you anymore since they're so distracting"

I scoffed as I got off him. "Who want your kisses anyway? I did tell you to stop. Now I've got your DNA all over my face".

Of course I loved his kisses but he didn't need to know that.

Ryu suddenly smirked. "Be thankful it's only on your face for now"

Huh?

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He got off the couch and pulled me to him, hands gripping my ass. I gasped at the sudden contact.

"My sweet Aito. It means that I'll be inside you soon"

Heat flooded my face and I broke away and hurried to the kitchen. I could hear him laughing.

Inside me? No way! But the way he said it... the way he touched me... he made it seem like it would feel good. Those people on quora did describe it as 'heavenly'. Could Ryu make me feel that way?

But...I tried. And it was an unpleasant feeling. Ugh what the hell! Why make me think of this now after saying he'll wait for me? Soon my ass!

He followed me into the kitchen and watched as I heated up the rice and chicken tenders in the microwave.

"Did you make that?" he asked as he took a seat by the counter.

"Nope. Mrs Osamu did" I replied.

He raised a brow. "And she is...?"

"Calm down. She's my caretaker and she's like forty something years old" I said, laughing. "I'm not into older women who can actually give birth to me. That's gross"

He let out a relieved sigh then he suddenly smiled mischievously. "You mean nanny"

"What no! I'm not a kid. She just cooks and cleans"

"You mean you live alone? Everyday?"

"Yep. My parents are super rich and they've got a lot of companies all over the world so they're always in a different country every week. It kinda sucks living without them you know but I guess uh... I'm used to it already. Their presence doesn't really matter to me anymore"

"That's bullshit. You miss them don't you?"

I smiled. How could he tell? Was I that transparent? "Every second of everyday" I admitted. "As kids, when I visit my friends, I see their mums hugging them before they go out. I hear their dads telling them to be safe and not play too rough or their mum would be mad. I see them argue and fight with their siblings and I wonder what that's like. I wonder how it feels to have someone that could annoy you to death but still love them anyway. Don't get me wrong, my parents love me. I'm like, their entire world and their mine too. They never fail to show me how much they love me when they're around. They're just not here when I need them the most"

Ryu got up from his stool and circled the counter to my side. He pulled me into his arms and I buried my face in his chest.

"Like today?" he whispered and I nodded.

Today, after that episode, after the nightmare, a hug from them would have been enough. I would have felt a lot more whole. A few drops of tears escaped my eyes, wetting Ryu's shirt. He held me tighter as I cried and there was nothing I wanted more.

"It's okay Aito" he whispered, planting a kiss in my hair. "It's okay. I'm here aren't I? I'll be everything for you. I won't let you feel lonely ever again"

"Don't you feel lonely too?" I asked, raising my head so I could look at him. "Your mum is hardly around. I've been to your house many times but we've never crossed paths. Not even once"

"At least I still see her. Even if it's once or twice a week. How many times do you get to see them?"

"Holidays" I answered. "Like Easter, Christmas and the likes. Or when they take a break"

"Fuck"

I smiled. It felt nice to know he cares so much. "It's okay Ryu. Like you said, I have you now don't I?". I gazed into his beautiful dark eyes.

"Absolutely" he confirmed, planting a kiss on my forehead.

The microwave beeped, indicating the food was ready. Ryu broke the hug then proceeded to serve us both. He refused to let me eat by myself. Instead he fed me. That's one of the most intimate things ever. Your partner feeding you. It was so damn hot as well because he kept rewarding me with kisses and sweet words. Calling me baby and coaxing me to eat. He'd even lick any stray sauce from my face. Mostly around my lips and chin.

God Mrs Osamu's food has never tasted so good. I didn't even realize I could eat so much. Ryu kept on feeding me till I was stuffed full. Only then did he eat.

Damn having a boyfriend is so amazing!

"Stop staring at me" he said and I was shocked when I realized that I actually was staring. I went beet red. Oh my God.

"You know, for someone who's not a virgin, you sure blush a lot".

My face went even hotter and he burst out laughing. Well I still am a virgin. A butt virgin at least.

An idea suddenly sprouted in my brain.

Wait... they said to start little. Like a finger. My eyes darted to his long thick fingers. What would it feel like if he does it? Ryu won't hurt me right? Could I even ask him?

"Hey Ryu..."

"Hm?"

What would I even say? Can you put your finger in my ass? Fuck no.

"I uh... well..."

Ugh why couldn't I say it?! I've never had problems being blunt about sex before. Besides, we're both guys and he's my boyfriend. It's my right to ask for stuff like this right?

I nodded to myself. It definitely is.

Ryu continued to eat, waiting patiently for me to talk. Ugh I can do this. I can do this. "Ryu?"

"Hm?"

"I want you to finger me"

He choked on the food.