Chapter 48

"What can't you say in front of me? What the hell are you hiding?" Ryu asked Haruto. He looked pissed. As if he wanted to just wring Haruto's neck. It made me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't woken up when I did. "I witnessed what happened with him. Why can't you tell me? And what makes you think you can kick me out?"

"Because I don't trust you!" Haruto pointed out flat. He was equally pissed. "Because you're new here and you know nothing about us. I don't trust you one bit and I have every right to kick you out because I'm his best friend!"

Ryu was livid. "Well I'm his b-"

"Ryu" I called, quickly cutting him off. I went pale as I realized what he was about to say. He must have realized it too for he cursed under his breath. I didn't want him to leave but he had to. "I think you should go Ryu"

The hand on my head went rigid. I didn't look at him when I said those words. I kept my eyes on my twiddling thumbs. I couldn't bear to see what expression would be on his face. It took a few seconds before he lifted his hand, glared at Haruti then walked out of the room, slamming the door in the process.

The spot he had touched went cold. I already missed him.

Haruto sighed, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "Phew. What's the fuck is his problem? He's so difficult. I've been trying to get him to leave since you fainted"

I smiled at the thought of Ryu insisting to stay.

"How long was I out this time?" I asked, diverting the topic from Ryu.

"Three hours. School is almost over" Haruto answered as he sat by the edge of the bed, facing me. "It's shorter than the usual time. There's improvement. How do you feel?"

Most times, when I pass out after an episode, I don't wake up for hours longer than three. The highest was a day and half. My parents were so scared, thinking I was dead. Only my shallow breaths gave them hope. Three hours was quite an achievement. Progress. But I felt I didn't deserve it. Aera can never get another chance to live.

And here I am... healing.

"I'm okay. Just a little headache"

"Damn I was so scared Aito. You were hyperventilating and crying. Your eyes were blank, as if you weren't in this world. What happened? How did it start? And why don't you carry your medicines with you? I searched your bag and pockets and there's not a single one. Do you know how dangerous this is? For fucks sake Aito take care of yourself. Think about your parents and me. What would we do without you? You're their only child and you know how much they love you. You know how much I love you man"

I hung my head low knowing he was right. They would be devastated if they hear.

"You haven't told them though, have you?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No. But I would have if you hadn't woken up within five hours. And what's the deal with Ryu? We barely know that guy but he wouldn't leave your side. Not for a second. If I didn't know any better I'd say there's something going on between you two"

I tensed. "W-What?"

"I don't know man" he said, running his fingers through his hair. "There's a way he looks at you. It's fishy. I really don't trust him one bit. You should stay away from him"

What? Now that was something I couldn't do. Life isn't suffocating when I'm with him. I'm happy and I feel like myself. I can't stop seeing him. I really really like him but how could I explain all that to Haruto?

"Look Haruto" I said as calmly as I could. "Ryu is my friend. He's good to me. He will never hurt me and I trust him. Asking me to stay away from him is too much"

"But it's for your own good Aito" he insisted. "Look, here's how things went down. When you left the cafeteria, Ryu went after you. I already knew you would go to the abandoned building to let out some steam but I didn't get why Ryu would follow. At first, I didn't think much of it but then, I decided to check on you just in case. By the time I got to the scene, you were kneeling on the ground, crying and screaming while Ryu was just... watching. He had this look on his face. I can't explain it but it was so damn creepy man and when we brought you here, he started acting all worried. Like two personalities in one person"

Huh?

I scoffed. "What the hell. I can't believe you'll say such things just to stop me from being friends with him, Haruto. Why the hell would he do that? He was probably shocked to see me that way and then he got worried when he saw that I didn't wake up. Any normal person would do the same"

A look of hurt marred my best friend's face. "You think I would lie to you Aito? You think I'll make that up? I fucking know what I saw"

I shook my head, refusing to believe his words. Ryu would never do that. Ryu likes me. He's my boyfriend.

"Maybe you misread his expression"

"I didn't misread shit!"

"Haru-"

"No! I'm not lying! I wouldn't lie to you Aito and you fucking know that!"

I was now confused. What he said didn't sound like Ryu at all. He had to be mistaken. Ryu rushed to my side immediately he knew I was awake. He didn't want to leave me. In fact, he nearly told Haruto about relationship. Ryu cares about me. Genuinely. And I know Haruto cares about me too but there must be a mistake somewhere in his story.

Does Haruto hate Ryu that much?

Haruto noticed that I still didn't believe him. He fisted his hair out of frustration then took deep calming breaths. "I don't think we should be doing this right now. You had a rough day and you must be tired so let's get you home"

I also didn't want to prolong the matter so I just nodded. "Okay".

I hope my friendship with Haruto is still intact. He's my best friend. My only friend. Without him, maybe I would have truly gone mad.

********

I woke up drenched in cold sweat. My heart was banging against my rib cage and my heart hurt. As if it was being struck by a thick stick again and again.

It was a nightmare. A total bloody nightmare. One of the types I used to have right after Aera died. Shit. It's coming back. It's all coming back. Just when I thought I was getting better.

I recalled the terror I felt when Aera's bleeding body landed atop mine, her warm blood soaking my clothes, dying my skin red. I suddenly felt sick.

Though dizzy, I scrambled off the bed and staggered my way to the toilet. Once inside, I knelt and grabbed the edges of the toilet seat to steady myself then poured out all the contents in my stomach. It was mostly liquids. I heaved and heaved, tears and mucus running down my face. I remained in that position till my stomach felt empty and nothing could come out but my own saliva.