1. Losing My Religion.

I was in Idaho chasing Sark's entourage when my husband decided to come again after two months had passed since our last job together. I didn't even notice the time passing, as I was always so focused on the victims. Damon texted me and asked where I was. I was having too much fun. My inner killer loved this. 

I was at that moment on a very tall building roof, on my belly looking, through my latest sniper rifle and I aimed to kill Sark's Second in command, a man called Bert Hill. He was a middle-aged, gentle, almost retarted looking man and no one could see his evil except me.

He liked to use acid to test his victims. For me, he had once but balls inside, acid-filled balls, and then acid had corroded through those balls, seeped into me, starting to burn me from inside out, so this was a yummy victim. Fast end for this bastard, but he would be dead.

When I did not answer that text, my husband said to me in my mind, "Baby, that one belongs to me. Let me take him to that same place where I took you, too. Let me have that one. Come into the house. Let me have a few of these of so yummy targets. No need to deny it. I can sense you are on the prowl, and it is difficult for you to give up your victims."

I put my rifle down; I had quite heavy psychic pressure in my mind and I packed my things, got off that roof, and started to drive into the house. Damon wanted one or two of these victims in the shed, he had said earlier.

I arrived at the house, and Damon was already there. He was ready. I could sense his charge. First, he fed me, and then we would talk shop. And so I found myself in Idaho's house, and Damon was sitting on the couch next to me.

He had taken me under his arm and said, "Who are you chasing, baby? You wouldn't believe how much I can get you to do with our bond. You're on the prowl and some delicious prey. Remember, baby, I want victims too. Is there any chance you'd give me a victim or two? I could take them to the hospital. At least that one who you were killing when I spoke to you."

I sighed and got up, went to my bag, and took out a stack of files. My inner killer was mildly disturbed when it had to give up victims.

I said, "These are the people I'm after here."

Then I told him again about each victim, and Damon wanted three. He wanted us to go out and hunt these three together. Fine by us. One was Sark's second command, one was Krycheck's best pupil, and one was the guy who had made those nitrogen silver bombs that Sark put inside me long ago. Or it seemed like a long time ago.

Damon said, "Tomorrow night, I'm coming to pick you up here. You're coming in your car with me because I'm going to go with my victims to Austria. You know, baby, that hospital was in Austria."

I laughed as I remembered an old TV show, Mountain Hospital, where there was a hospital in the mountains. It was a nice series, carefree, and light and there were some yummy-looking actors in it. 

Damon got up, kissed me, and said," Tomorrow we shall hunt, darling, and then I get off to play with my prey."

Then he left and went somewhere. I heard his car drive away. I went to take a shower and then to see what other victims I would hunt down, having first delivered some of them to my husband. I had a lot of victims, an extensive list, so I was busy for a long time too.

The next night, I was ready when Damon pulled into the driveway. He had a slightly larger SUV, one that could comfortably fit three unconscious victims. He had a few sports bags with him too, a few necessary tools to keep his victims under control. 

We went on the hunt. Now my method is to flush the victim into the alley and kill it there, not now. We would go to the bar together, and I would distract the victim while Damon gave him a little extra to drink, and then I would walk away. I had a short tight dress, and heavy makeup and we were just casually walking into the bar. The victim would see me, and I would flirt a bit or distract him for just a few moments so Damon could spice up his drink.

I would soon go out after the victim was spiked. I would always stay in the alley to watch from the sidelines as Damon walked out with the man, who could barely stand on his feet, and effectively tied him to the trunk of his car. He got three of his prey, and we kissed after the last victim.

He said, "This may take a while, baby. I'm going to enjoy myself now. I'll announce myself at some point."

He was in the mood for killing and now he was not a cold clinical scientist that he had been with me, but a torturer and happy about it. I was feeling pretty same, but I took my prey fast out. 

I said, "I'm going to keep doing these jobs, so don't be surprised if I'm not available. Big list to be hunt."

He nodded and kissed me once more, but it was a hasty kiss. He was busy getting to his victims, so I didn't keep him. I let him go. Then he left.

Damon had told me about the volcano, what he called it. He assumed it was almost his rage or his evil side, and he had told me he almost got feelings from it, emotions, how he was happy with some things and not others. One thing that the volcano seemed to get off on was the shed sessions with me. I told him that in my theory; the volcano is actually Damien. It made sense to Damon, and it gave him something to go on. Now he could sense him better, maybe he could control it or him. 

Damon told me how the volcano was so much stronger afterward that he sometimes felt that it was taking over in a way. But in the same breath, my husband had told me the method he uses to keep the volcano in check, and that's the flank shots, the night stabbings, and so on. I knew that our love was one thing that weakened Damien, so maybe Damon controlling me was another, too. 

Damon is so much older than me and so much more experienced. I then told him about my rage. I told him how good it feel to let that rage burn away every freaking feeling from my mind and just let it burn. I also told him how I concentrated so hard I didn't even notice the time passing. I did not tell him just how much stronger my killer side, my darkness. I just told him about my hyper-focus.

My husband just said dryly, " Yeah, me baby, we've all seen it."

I said to Damon, "Take the volcano out and let it talk to me. I can then give my point of view and let my pretender side play a little. Let's ensnare Damien. I can get him to reveal himself. I put dictation on my phone so everything is recorded even if you don't remember it."

Damon said, " Fine, but then don't freak out. I am not sure that Volcano is Damien. That Damien is nothing more than one part of me. "

I let my analytical side come to the surface and started to watch Damon as he looked into space for a moment and then straightened up on the couch to sit in a better position, looking and tilting his head a little.

He said in a low, enjoyable voice, "You know, baby, what? When you're in pain, I mean really in so much pain that you can't even think straight. That's when you're at your best, you know why? It's because you can take it."

I looked at him back and said, "And you love to jelly me, dictate your little mystery dictations. you see, I have enhanced photographic memory, meaning that if I am not paying attention to something at that moment, doesn't mean I cannot remember it later, one day, Damien, I will find out what your brief experiment is all about." 

He tilted his head more and said, "Oh, you are good. But you see. Am I my creature or just a side of Damon that you dislike? Are you trying to convince yourself that I am not part of your not-so-wonderful husband? You baby, you are at your best when the pain stops, you're ready. Sure, I've got you in pretty good shape, but baby, you can't say I don't enjoy what I'm doing to you, and another question for you to ponder. Do I enjoy it as much when I get you in shape, or is it just a necessary evil?"

I watched him. And said, "You are not getting me in shape. Damon does get me in shape, or Samuel. or Colin, but not you. You want to maim, hurt, destroy, not heal and help. You are not part of Damon and I am going to prove it someday to Damon in that existent that he will banish you from his mind for good."

I look at my husband for a moment. He looked slightly surprised, but not worried at all. I said to him, "Oh, what's the matter? Do you not believe that Damon could get rid of you, or are you in love with me, or maybe Damon? I can see you are upset though of Damon knowing your existence, but then again, you are not too worried, as you have planned something already."

Damon looked at me like a piece of meat and said, "Don't try to analyze me, baby. You're not getting anything out of me, either. You won't find my secrets, which makes me do whatever you do. I'm old. I'm an old and strong creature. You know it yourself. Just accept it. Just accept that you're destined to be my plaything someday. You know, baby, I used to make toys sometimes—vampire women. Let's take one vampire woman."

He paused and looked at me like would be terrified about this intention to make me some sort of living doll. 

"Let's put steel spikes on her heels like a pair of high heels. Then, you fuse her spine with metal plates to make it rigid. Then it's always straight-backed. Let's drive it as close to the end as we can with bloodlust. Remove a pretty sizeable chunk of the brain. You see, vampires regenerate, but some substances inhibit the growth of a vampire's brain, for example. Plus, these psychic abilities of mine will get their heads broken in no time. So, that woman doesn't have much willpower. It's my toy."

I said, "Well, if you are bothered to play with those bitches, but like Damon's approach, he just kills them. "

He was upset, but he continued his brief lecture

"But you know what, baby, when that toy doesn't fight back. That toy's fun to build and fun to play with, but only for a little while when I'd like it to fight back. But it never does when it should. They start begging and crying. They promise eternal love and money. They're not like you. You are full of flame, full of sparks, full of spirit. You. When you get angry, you let go. You have the spark and the core. And I want to put it out or control it or command it. When you're helpless to my handling, you have no power. You have seen that I have won completely. It's the best feeling I've ever felt. Because you are the toughest creature in my universe. There was a sort of the strongest being in the universe, and yet I have you under my power and control."

He looked satisfied as he reminisced about some shed session in his mind. He continued.

"The power, the pleasure that comes with it, it's intoxicating, but then when you have the not-so-necessary aspects that are the joy killers and the extinguishers, the conscience, the love, the caring, all of those aspects, they mess up my pleasure, completely. "

I said, "You mean Damon does mess up your pleasure? When he comes out, you go down and have no more enjoyment." 

He nodded and said, "You are too clever sometimes. But fret not, someday we shall have so much fun in the shed again."

I took a risk, I let my killer side out, looked at Damien like piece of meat, as my victim and said, now pretty unrecognizable voice, "I promise you, one day, Damien, despite how you manipulate me or Damon, when you are your own creature, living in your body, I will so much fun with you, you will be my victim. Then you will see who I actually am..." He looked at me, shocked more or less. 

I was silent for a moment, and Damon looked into the void again and put the volcano under control. I guess he shocked badly, my inner killer had just made a promise. Because otherwise it could had been that Damien would stay on surface, something made him weaken. Not my love. But my Darkness.

Damon sighed and said, "As you can see, baby, I'm not quite perfect, not even close."

I said to him, "Do you remember every word? I have all of it up here. It is Damien, so you know what you are fighting against, right? He wants to come to the surface, wants to hurt, and keeps you down. He is not you." 

He did not say anything, just sat there awhile, and then his phone beeped. I had no idea if he remembered my inner killer. He excused himself and said he gotta go. Then he left. I was not sure did I managed to convince him that Damien exists.

Mimosa and Mirella had been in my mind again for a while. Mimosa said she probably had to recharge for three months, and she had been in my head for that. She would be ready to be apart again soon. I didn't know how we were supposed to take this very well. I didn't. But then I called Dresden and told him about it. I let him hear the dictation.

Dresden said. "That's interesting, but I have an option. Damien is not Damon. I can hear it too. But to get rid of him, it won't be so easy. Now this option of mine. There's one particular coven. They're capable of breaking a mind. Don't worry, it's not permanent. It could blow up Damien in pieces too. And if he would merge with Damon's pieces, he would be whole, too. And what you have told me about this core of him. This could unite him even more. I'll have to see if I can find these witches. It may take some time. And then we need Damien to be on the surface. So that's where this explosion happens, so you have to have a shed session. But I don't know if and when they'll come. How you're going to announce a shed session if you're there, but this would be one option."

I thanked Dresden and went on with the gigs, so I was left to think about it. That would be an option if there were ever a shed session. I told Adam and Samuel about it, and they were quite hesitant because what if Damon is not Damon anymore after that? Anyway, I put all my attention back into my work and continued with the gigs that demanded my concentration.

When Damon contacted me again a couple of weeks later, I didn't notice anything at first. The gigs were in progress. Then when I called him back, there was another annoyance about why I didn't have to be with him. When I asked him how the victims were, he just said they were dead. And he didn't ask for new ones. So, I kept doing the gigs after constantly listening to the whining and complaining. Mimosa and Mirella got loose again, and they went to Adam.

I have sometimes wondered that what if I would had not threatened Damien? Because I am quite sure that my minor threat made him stay inside Damon, convincing him he was part of him, even he was not. He had his other plans, his backups ready, and he was or I assumed he was planning letting them unfold, meaning he would no longer been inside Damon. Or maybe it was not my threat what made him do what he did. He has been killed hundreds years ago and yes, I did fulfilled my promise to him. More than once.