Not a dream/New life

I woke up for the 2nd time today, I slowly sat up and prepared to continue writing but sometimes soft, warm and heavy was at my chest.

Probably Mr. Kittles.

I patted him in order to wake him up but for some weird reason, it wasn't fur.

It was hair.

I opened my eyes, ignoring the blinding sunshine and raised my neck just enough to see what it really was.

It was that same hot girl in my dreams! My eyes peeked down her chest again and I could stop my nose from killing me by blocking the holes with my fingers.

Amazing, I've never had an extended drea~

Or so you thought I was going to say! Just who the heck was this super cute girl that's really asking for me to commit ****!

I'm a decent human being but I have my limits, plus she's technically giving me consent with all these actions.

Right?

Out of habit, my hand went to my side to look for a phone, and by all that was sane, I did have a phone.

Or was it a phone? What the hell is this hand mirror like thing? Why is it so futuristic looking outside?

Holy shit just where the hell am I?!

My hands accidentally touched the the center area of the mirror with a slight bump and for all intents and purposes.

It was actually a legitimate phone.

I'm not a stranger to fingerprint locks, so this means that unless I was crazy, phones were now this advanced?

Of course not! I tried fumbling about the phone and eventually found something that solidified my position as an absolute what the fuck meme.

(12:28PM 2222/6/17)

It was only 2020 as far as I know. Unless you're telling me that my computer was 218 years behind in time!

Which it was not.

Therefore, by the method of common sense.

I don't know where the heck I am.

I opened a bit more pages.

Oh, I know where I was now.

(Justicar Luo Yan has successfully captured his Archnemesis!)

Yes, where else could the word Justicar be used on other than my book?

Ah, so I was in my book.

Ah. Yes.

That's not good at all!

I hurried tried to stand up, prying of my supposed little sister or stranger inside the house away from me and laying her softly in the bed.

I was still a gentleman.

I quickly went for the bathroom and checked the mirror.

"Who the heck are you?"

And, I officially didn't know what the hell just happened. Did my cool chair surpass cool and became a transcendent world jumping chair portal?

Or did Mr. Kittles sit on my face and accidentally killed me?

I brought my attention back to the man in front of me. Short auburn or lighter shade of auburn hair. Dark brown eyes, bordering black. And on the scale of handsome-o-meter, I was around 7.

This is not bad, I'm not that handsome back then but...

God, I'm already missing my old life! I don't even know anyone here aside from the characters of the story!

My cool chair! Mr. Kittles! My book!

Or not my book, because I'm technically living in it.

I checked my phone again, which I still don't understand how it works. And saw that my name was actually Zeke.

(Zeke Lorde)

...

Yeah, no way. Must be a coincidence.

I ignored the unmentioned scary thought and checked the phone some more, if I wasn't wrong, then this phone should also have data about stuff like my Ability or something.

(Gold Manipulation)

...

"Haha... no way. Nuh uh. Nope"

I closed my phone and opened it again.

(Gold Manipulation)

Shit.

∆

I tried my best to use the showers, fucking buttons, what the hell are these high-tech shit?

After cleaning myself up and just generally waking up, I took a walk around my room, ignoring the fact that the cute girl, probably this body's sister, was still sleeping.

It was a pretty boring room, no porn mags.

Sage of Gold my fucking ass, he's just a virgin.

I looked at my sister.

Then at my erect manhood.

"Or is he?"

A question I would ask the girl later.

Now that I actually thought about it, asking her 'Did we fuck?' would lead to probably the worst day ever.

Let's just assume these 2 aren't incestuous until I get enough proof that they are.

Which would come at night.

I left her in my room and went down, because apparently the room was upstairs. The house was what you would expect from a high-tech civilization. Bunch of glasses and holograms that aren't blue.

"Hm? Zeke, you're pretty late, you didn't bang your sister did you?"

I'll just assume this man is my mother.

I shook my head and stiffly went for breakfast, or lunch.

Lunch.

"If you did I'll cut your manhood"

...

And so that's enough proof that I'm a virgin.

Damn.

Maybe a sneaky?

I'll still have to wait for tonight to get an absolute confirmation.

The food was, I don't know, pretty advanced too, I swear I was eating vegetables but it tasted like meat.

I didn't gag. I tried not to.

"You want some Elven milk?"

"Pffft!"

Holy fuck, fucking fuck fuck. What the fuck? Fucking fuckery of fuck.

What in the world is an Elven Milk and is it boobs?

"Huh? You used to like this type of milk, did you grow out of it?"

My mother eyed me, I felt like she was looking for an answer and was going to kill me if I didn't.

"No, I just... remembered that... uhh... I... like Fairy Milk more"

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?!

"Oh, we got those, I'll get some"

It exists? Poor fairies.

"This came from some freshly ground fairies apparently, some new brand"

...

I don't even know why.

Who made this world background and why is it so grim?

Not me, I'm as stupid as that person over there.

The milk poured into my glass was a suspicious white and yellow. It also glittered.

Oh, fuck me backwards, I'm sorry fairies, I'm chugging your dead body.

Oh, man this isn't cannibalism but pretty close.

"T-Thanks dad"

Please don't be suspicious of me mom, or whoever you are.

Gulp.

Oh, it tastes like strawberries...

Wow...

This is pretty good.

"Oh. My stomach feels bad, I'll go to the bathroom!"

I ran back up to my room, all the way to the bathroom and kept the damn thing in my mouth.

After a few seconds, I finally realized that there was someone beside me.

"Good afternoon Big Bro~"

She smiled at me and seductively licked her lips.

"It smells like Fairy Milk, you never drank those did you?"

"Did mom force you to?"

She stepped in front of me and just pounced.

And for no reason whatsoever, she drank the fucking milk from my mouth.

What the fuck was this family?