Port's Class

"How'd the first night with the girls go?" I smiled as Blake barely made it to our first class at Beacon on time and slid into the seat I saved her.

"I woke up this morning after Ruby put an apple and a tape measure on my belly." Blake hissed while looking at the younger girl who awkwardly turned her head and stared in the other direction while failing to whistle a casual tune.

"Measuring the wreckage." I nodded and watched Ruby fight down the urge to laugh.

"My pussy isn't wrecked!" Blake barely managed to keep her voice from raising above the general din of pre class banter.

"You're tight, babe." I assured her, "For me and any horse faunus that hit the lottery and ended up with a huge flat head cock as his animal trait."

"It's not a win." Nora interrupted, "I saw a behind the scenes where they explained that a human heart doesn't really pump enough blood to maintain a good erection on a horse cock. Even with a fuck ton of dick pills they have to pump him up several times mid scene."

"Oh man, that sucks." I sighed, "What a cruel handicap. It's like being a bird that can't fly… but like also not a penguin. You know?"

"Voice of a generation." Yang teased my less than coherent comparison.

"You people are animals." Weiss decried, "We are here to learn how to be huntsmen and huntresses, not engage in such filthy, crass, and vulgar discussions."

"You should really try to get out of that box you live in sometime." I shot back, "You might find out that you can learn to be a hunter and engage in filthy crass vulgarity."

"I would never lower myself to your… level." the petite girl in white spat with the vicious intent of a cobra.

"Honey, you'd need a very very tall ladder to climb up to my level." I chuckled and quieted down for the professor's start to class.

Professor Port, what a man, what a mustache. The dude fights with a double headed shotgun axe and tells a mean story. I don't know how all these fools can sit here and be bored during the man's gripping rendition of capturing a Beowulf as a boy. He also passed on the wisdom of his grandfather, an Uncle Iroh type if there ever was one.

At the end of his tale I felt a tear forming in my eye. If only I had come to this world thirty five years ago we could have been bros.

Unfortunately what came next in his class was far less cool than it should have been. Port revealed a captured hog grimm, and called for a volunteer to slay it in front of the class. This was some best class ever type shit going on and Weiss managed to ruin it by getting picked and having a breakdown cause she couldn't handle her team leader shouting advice mid fight.

It apparently ruined her focus.

"Booo!" I shouted down at the screaming teen, "Poor show!"

My callout gained me the stink eye from quite a few people, but fuck them.

"Ehem." Port broke the post fight silence, "Mr. Arc, I take it you have some constructive criticism to deliver. I will not tolerate bullying in my classroom."

"You bet." I stood up and pointed down to the pissed off girl, "If all it takes is a little shouting to break your focus, then you have no place trying to become a hunter. You'll see and hear way worse in this career."

I sat back down and Porn nodded his head, "Composure is of vital importance in the field. It is just as critical as your skills and conditioning. I expect to see a much more firm resolve in the future Miss Schnee, and a much more diplomatic delivery Mr. Arc. Class dismissed."

I made quick tracks out of the class, having never taken any materials out for note taking or the more popular option, doodling. Despite this, the heavy stomping of a pissed off hundred pound woman caught up to my casual retreat.

"Where do you get off insulting me like that, Arc!" the SDC heiress shouted at me.

I stopped and turned around with a goofy grin, "In Blake."

It took her a few moments to figure out what I meant and her flushed face gained an even deeper red glow, "You scoundrel! This is a serious matter! Do you think you can get away with saying such things about me?"

"We sorta fought a war over this eighty years ago." I laughed, "We won by the way, and people are free to say what we want because we kicked your uptight asses back into the frigid depths of Mantle were your kind belong."

"Ooooohhhhh!" the assembled onlookers sang like a pack of middle schoolers who heard a sick burn.

"Where my kind belong?" Weiss hissed, "I am exactly where I belong, it's you who doesn't belong. You're so devil may care you're not even wearing the uniform!"

She was correct. I had pulled the Beacon jacket over one of my aloha shirts, having ditched the vest and tie.

The crowd gasped when I reached inside my jacket and let out a sigh of relief when I came back with a flask in hand rather than a weapon.

"Excuse me!" Weiss sniped while I held up a finger and chugged the entire potent payload.

"Sorry." I belched, "Knew I was going to need a drink if I was going to keep my pleasant demeanor while talking with you."

"You've been nothing but unpleasant this entire time!" Weiss countered and stomped her foot, hands clenched in fists of rage.

"Unpleasant is what I am going to be in combat class later." I chuckled, "Listen up Weiss. The reason you got passed up for Ruby has nothing to do with your comparative leadership abilities and one hundred percent to do with team compatibility. You would be a fine team leader… in Atlas, but this is Vale. You think your team would have listened to you? Nah. You'd have had problems right from the start with Blake, and Yang would have started acting up in a week tops. Earlier you yelled at the only teammate that would have stuck it out with you. At least with Ruby only one member of your team is pissed and I assume the administration believes that you are mature enough to move on with a stiff upper lip."

"Go Jaune!" Ruby shouted then looked around in shock, "Did I say that out loud."

"You better pray we don't match up in combat class, Arc." Weiss delivered the last word and stomped off.

I just laughed.