Good Night, Sweet Prince

"I can't believe you're getting back together with this prick!" Yang shouted in frustration.

Pyrrha had over the last semester learned why Jaune didn't like Yang for herself. At first they seemed so similar both bright and confident and flirty, and then Yang kept the list going with things like quick to anger, slow to forgive, brash and reckless. Jaune behaved like Yang plus twenty years of growing up. When Jaune gets angry he wrecks his relationship with his words, when Yang gets angry she shoots up a nightclub.

"That's what you're worked up about?" Weiss rhetorically asked with her arms crossed, "Not the fact that our team is over because Blake couldn't keep her birth control on schedule. We are out of the missions today, and we will be lucky if we can find a replacement before the tournament starts."

"Babies are a blessing, Schnee." Yang fired back unexpectedly, "I'm angry about Blake getting back with the guy who pissed on her heart, and apparently she is joining up with his harem!"

"Isn't that what Dad did?" Ruby asked her sister, "I am pretty sure uncle Qrow has complained about all the ladies Dad got with growing up, and how much overlap there was with our moms."

"Don't try to placate me with facts!" Yang complained loudly, "Can't you see I am being angry here? We need to present a united front here."

"Got it." Ruby raised her fist in solidarity, "Harem Babies always got each others backs!"

"Damn it Ruby!" Yang cursed, "We are fighting against Harem Babies!"

"Why would we fight against us?" Ruby asked her sister confused, "We turned out awesome. Don't we want Blake's kid to be as great as us?"

Pyrrha couldn't tell if the half sisters were a glowing endorsement of polygamous families or a reason to rethink some of her recent life choices. Remembering that she was getting married when they got back from the missions let her know which.

"Listen," Blake started softly, "I am so sorry for leaving the team, but needs must when you're having a baby."

"We could have figured something out." Yang whined petulantly.

Did their team have some source of lien she didn't know about? She doubted the Schnee heiress could explain medical expenses for her faunus friend to her genocidal father, and Yang and Ruby grew up with a single father on a teacher's salary.

"I figured it out, Yang." Blake told her partner and put a hand on her shoulder, "And I get it. I've caught you checking me out enough to know you feel about me."

Oh that's right, Yang and Blake are bisexuals. Pyrrha suddenly felt very thankful to have pulled back on her hard stance against Blake. If Nora ever wanted to experiment with girls she would have someone to do that with. It'd be a cold day in hell before Pyrrha Nikos took up carpet munching.

After settling Blake and her team, Jaune got them their first official mission with guidance from an official huntsman. Due to their elevated combat class, Team JNPR had a host of missions not available to the rest of the first year teams. Jaune zeroed in on the Quadrant 5 search and destroy mission that would take them out to the ruins of Mount Glenn and put them in the vicinity of the mysterious base Team RWBY had heard about during their investigation and infiltration of the White Fang earlier in the semester.

The team flew out in the company of Dr. Oobleck, their history professor and one of the most veteren huntsman of Vale. The man also spoke two levels more enthusiastically than regular and did so while the team battled against the packs of grimm they encountered in the ruins of the Mount Glenn City. All day the team battled low level grimm while the Dr. asked them personal questions. He refused to take a single action against the enemy, just stood back, evaluated and interrogated the team.

A lesser team would have been left exhausted by the day spent in combat, but Pyrrha rated it a six, probably a seven for Nora and Ren. Despite their heavy gear, none of Team JNPR needed to so much as catch their breath.

As the sun began to dip beyond the horizon, the Team spotted a line of grimm traversing through the forest that encroached on the ghost city. They stood taller than the tree tops, huge forms of black hide and spiked white chiton in the form enormous elephants with massive back curling tusks. The team debated attacking them, but the Dr. vetoed the motion due to the danger of attacking the ancient grimm goliaths while their true target still lurked somewhere nearby.

Instead of a glorious battle to end the day, the team hunkered down in a defensible location.

Pyrrha took the first watch after darkness fell, and saw Jaune leaving the camp.

"I'm going to take a walk." Her soon to be husband said.

"In the middle of enemy territory?" she asked him skeptically.

"A very enthusiastic walk."

Jaune didn't return in time to take his shift after hers, instead arriving only a handful of minutes before Ren's shift. She didn't even know he had returned until he declared himself in the middle of their camp.

"Mission accomplished folks." He laughed as he stood next to the embers of their campfire, white armor crusted in blood.

"Mr. Arc!" Dr. Oobleck shouted, "I see your enthusiastic walk has proven productive. What do you have to report?"

"Got everything documented right here." Jaune handed the man his scroll.

The doctor flipped through his photographs until the man looked away so fast his neck made a zwip noise.

"I do believe that you should consider placing photos such as this in password protected folders Mr. Arc. Rookie mistake. I myself frequently document my anthropological studies, but I prefer to never see my students engaged in such scholarly pursuits."

"Oh my." Jaune intoned in obviously fake concern, "I apologize about that and thank you for that advice."

"Think no more of it," the doctor commanded, "I certainly shan't. I do believe I counted eighty bodies in that line up - including Roman Torchwick, a man who has defeated professional hunters for years. How did you accomplish this feat Mr. Arc."

"Are you aware of the history of this city?" Jaune began, "Of how the residents fled underground into the natural caves that they had expanded to create their subway system?"

"Genius!" The doctor shouted, "We were not just looking for underground criminal activity, but actual UNDERGROUND criminal activity!"

"Indeed sir." Jaune agreed, "I suspected as much when our search turned up no signs of our quarry on the surface. Walked around looking for an unsealed subway entrance and found one nearby with members of the White Fang patrolling about. I quietly unalived them and entered the system to perform reconnaissance before returning to grab the less stealthy members of the team."

"Mr. Arc," The doctor interrupted, "you are a six and a half foot tall man in full plate armor with multiple hard packs and shell caddies strapped to you. The fact that you move quietly like a ghost terrifies me."

"We tried putting bells on him." Nora explained from her seat on her sleeping bag, "He still didn't make any noise."

"Horrific." The doctor stated.

"Horrific was what I found down there in the underground city." Jaune continued his tale, "The White Fang was loading the bombs you saw in the pictures onto a train in the tunnel connecting Vale to Mount Glenn. They intended to create a breach in the city's defenses, to allow the grimm to swarm through. Realizing the direness of the situation, I snuck through the enemy forces and sabotaged the train's controls before decoupling the carts in case they had another means to get it moving. From there I began my assault on them by picking off the members of the White Fang one at a time as they moved about in their disorganized manner. They didn't realize anything was wrong until after I had killed half of them and ambushed their most dangerous agent, the woman in the white jacket with the pulverized head."

"Yes," the doctor nodded, "I believe she was identified earlier in the semester as Torchwick's partner, a woman with an illusion based semblance."

"Her semblance didn't matter much after I grabbed a hold of her." Jaune told the man.

"Yes, best to pin down an illusionist before the fight starts." The doctor agreed.

"After that it was just can crushing except the Torchwick fight. He went down easy, but his final words will haunt me." Jaune relayed in a somber tone, "He said 'I always wanted to be smothered by titties.'"

Pyrrha didn't understand why that would haunt Jaune, but the doctor and Nora gasped.

"Good gods man!" The doctor exclaimed and put a hand on the blood encrusted white knight, "The pain you must be experiencing after slaying a fellow man of culture so young. I at least was a veteran huntsman by the time of my first brother slain, but we must understand that a love of titties does not prevent a man from turning to the dark side, and it is our duty to eliminate threats to the kingdom. You did your duty, son."

"Wiser words have never been spoken." Nora nodded her head in agreement.

Pyrrha's confusion played out on her face. Jaune killed eighty men and women and no one cared, but the fact that one of them loved titties bothered them.

"It allows them to empathize with the man." Ren explained to her, "It is easy to just believe Roman to be a monster, but that common love of titties meant that underneath it all was a brother in spirit."

"How the hell is that a thing?" Pyrrha asked her stoic teammate while Oobleck and Nora worked Jaune through his strange melancholy.

"Titties are a spring of endless happiness. Even in a man's darkest hour, excellent titties will fortify his spirit. All men can become united in their love of titties." Ren stated in his deadpan way.

"You're a weirdo too, Ren?" Pyrrha groaned.

"Not at all." Ren denied, "Nora told me all that when I caught her watching porn for the first time featuring a bunny faunus starlet that possessed a pair of, and I quote here, 'Racism ending titties.'"

"Jaune Arc, for your outstanding performance on this mission I will be recommending you for a medal!" The excitable professor proclaimed.

"I'd prefer the bounties." Jaune told him, "I've got a kid on the way."

"Those will come, have no fear." Oobleck assured him, "There will also be a substantial bonus sent to you for foiling a potentially devastating attack on the city. I doubt your baby will be able to piss and shit its way through even half the lien coming your way! Ha not even a half dozen babies will!"

"You hear that, Jaune!" Nora squealed, "We can afford a half dozen babies! You've got to get the rest of us pregnant now! You've got to!"

Pyrrha just face palmed at the idea of them raising three babies at once. This is why she put herself and Nora on birth control implants rather than the pill. Blake had already proven how bad a match up that is with someone who can so easily forget her daily health needs, let alone Nora's willful impulses to breed.

'I just got so caught up in Jaune electrocuting himself three times a week that I just forgot to take care of myself' the cat faunus had claimed.

Pyrrha only needed to keep her head on a swivel for that kind of stupidity for two more years and then their friend group was free and clear of any more teenage pregnancies… unless Ruby Rose got a boyfriend. Ha, like that would ever happen.