Chapter Seventeen [The vacation]
Following Ding's departure from him and his family that day, Rudolf experienced a horrible internal battle.
The loss of something important in his life is revealed by his past nightmare.
"It will put my life at risk if I accept the provisions from Ding."
Rudolf wonders as he recalls his earlier dreams that were like this one when he was still a little boy.
“I wanted to join the army then, not caring who won as long as I could obtain it. I was looking for the meaning of life, and I thought I would discover it on the battlefield. But where is the battlefield? If I do not follow God, why did Robert become the one searching for it?” Rudolf wondered.