Ted 2

"Okay so this universe is funny and it will shock you when you see Qrow" zen said

"What do you mean by that?" Weiss asked

"Just watch and see" zen said

The screen shows Blake on the floor with Ruby and Qrow as a teddy bear.

"Alright, I got Dred Scott v. Sandford, Plessy v. Ferguson and Brown v. The Board of Education" Blake said

"I got Kramer vs. Kramer, Alien vs Predator, and Freddy vs Jason" Ruby said

"I got, uh, Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to Jail and The importance of Being Earnest, which was very disappointing" Qrow said

"What who is that teddy bear?" Ruby asked

"Well you be shocked" zen said.

"So Blake is in this universe" yang said

"Yes and she is a lawyer in this universe" zen said

"Blake a lawyer that not very surprising" ruby said

"What that suppose to mean" Blake asked

"Well you're smart and hard to read sometimes" ruby said

"Yeah I have to agree sometimes you are hard to read" Weiss said with yang, jaune, Nora and Ren agreeing.

"Can we get back to the universe" zen said

Everyone nodded while Blake was kinda of embarrassed.

"What the teddy bear is uncle Qrow how?" Ruby said

"Okay so in this universe ruby was a little girl she wished for her beloved teddy bear to come Alive and he did and that how Qrow is here in this universe and I don't know how it is possible so don't ask" zen said

"Oh okay" ruby said

"That sounds like something ruby would do with Cresent rose" yang said with others agreeing with her.

"Okay, I'm gonna ask you a few test questions. Are you ready?"Blake said

"Yep, bring it on"Qrow replied

"You're on the stand, the D.A. says: "Qrow,do you consider yourself to be human?"" Blake said

"Objection" Qrow said

"Sustained" Ruby said

"No, the witness can't object" Blake said

"So they trying to prove that uncle Qrow is a human" ruby said

"Yes because he a teddy bear they believe he doesn't have the right to anything because he property to them" zen said

"That horrible" ruby said

"So he being tried like Faunus then" Blake said.

"Yes but to far worse for Qrow because he has a wife and he wants a child but since he doesn't have any rights here he can't so Blake and ruby are trying to prove that Qrow is not anyone property" zen said

"Overruled" Ruby said

"Sidebar" Qrow said

"Guilty"Ruby said

"Speculation" Qrow said

"Hearsay" Ruby said

"Bailiff" Qrow said

"Briefcase" Ruby said

"Disregard" Qrow said

"In my chambers" Ruby said

"Stop beavering the witness" Qrow said

"I rest" Ruby said

"We can totally be lawyers. [Ruby, Qrow and Blake are watching Roots on TV] That's just like me. That's exactly what I'm going through." Qrow said

"you guys are definitely going if you do that" ironwood said

"Yeah but that why we have a lawyer" ruby said.

"Wait what are we watching" ruby asked

"I don't know" zen said

"Well, it's a little different" Ruby said

"You know, Qrow, if you legally become a person, you're gonna need a name last name" Blake said

"Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay, okay, I got one" Qrow said

"Okay, what is it?" Blake asked

"Last name of a movie character" Qrow said

"Really he doesn't have a second name" Weiss said

"Yep he never really needed until know" zen said

"Really a last name of a movie character" Weiss said

"That would be cool right ruby" Qrow said with ruby agreeing.

(Both ruby and Qrow agree) "She knows where this is going. Are you ready?" Qrow said

"Yep" ruby replied.

"Go!" Qrow said

"What does he mean by that?" ruby asked

"Well your going to guess what he going to have as his last name" zen said.

"Oh okay" ruby said

"Skywalker, Solo, Vader, Kenobi, Palpatine, Calrissian, Balboa, Rambo, Griswold, Stepford, Bickle, Gump, Corleone, Wonka, Lebowski, Venkman, Spengler, Stantz, Rizzo, Zuko, Golighty, Higgins, Dolittle, Poppins, Bond, Blofeld, Blutarsky, Soze, O'Hara, Butler, McFly, Plissken, Ventura, Burgundy, Scissorhands, Drebin, Bueller, Lecter, Dumbledore, Sparrow, Doubtfire, Bourne, Von Trapp, Zoolander, Kirk, Spock, McCoy..." Ruby said fast

"Clubber Lang!" Qrow said

"FUCKING..." ruby said

"Hahaha!" Qrow laughed

"They do sound cool" Qrow said

"Ahh I didn't get it Damn it" ruby said

"His last name is clubber lang" yang said

"Woah ruby was pissed that she didn't get it" yang said

While ruby was still grumbling that she got it wrong

"Who is Clubber Lang?" Blake asked

"Who is Clubber Lang?" Qrow repeated

"Mr. T's character on Rocky III. Hello?" Ruby said

"So that's a boxing movie?" Blake asked

"The boxing movie? Have you never seen Rocky?" Qrow asked

"She's not serious." Ruby said

"You've never seen Rocky? Come on. You know... [starts singing the "Gonna Fly Now"] You know, Rocky!" Qrow said

"So Blake doesn't know who it is" Weiss said

"Yeah and looks like ruby and Qrow are shocked" yang said

"I'm not gonna remember a movie I've never seen just because you're singing a song I don't know" Blake said

"You do not know Samuel L Jackson.You don't know Rocky. You are literally pop culture illiterate" ruby said

"I have a college degree, my pop culture references are Hamlet, Achilles and Dorian Gray. Ever heard of any of them?" Blake asked

"Wow ruby calm down a bit" yang said

"It not me and we don't even know who they are either" ruby said annoyed

"Wow know Blake questioning ruby and Qrow intelligence" yang said.

"Well yeah let just say ruby and Qrow are sometime dumbass" zen said

"Wow so much hasn't changed for the drunk than" winter said shocked.

"Yeah yeah ice queen keep them coming what until your in one of those universe" Qrow said.

"No, but I'm pretty sure Mr. T could kick their ass" Qrow said

"Yeah. Blake, you really need to be educated" ruby said

"Oh, really? Um, can either of you tell me who wrote The Great Gatsby?" Blake said

"Judy Bloom?" Ruby asked

"Hitler?" Qrow asked

"F. Scott Fitzgerald" Blake said

"Oh this is funny because Blake a lawyer and is smarter than both of them" yang said.

"Who are hitler and Judy bloom" ruby asked

"Let's say hitler is a horrible man in this universe he started a world war which caused 75 million people and 6 million of them was because he didn't like them" zen said

Everyone was shocked that he started a war that killed 75 million people expect Salem and ozpin.

"Who's that?" Qrow asked

"The author" Blake said

"Well, why are you saying Fuck him?" Ruby asked

"What?" Weiss asked

"What?" Blake asked

"You just said F. Scott Fitzgerald.

What did Scott Fitzgerald ever do to you?" Qrow asked

"No, that's his first name" Blake replied

"His name's Fuck Scott Fitzgerald?" Qrow asked

"What? No!" Blake replied

"Oh wow we are dumb" ruby said

"Wow ruby" yang said

"Well then what's the F stand for?" Ruby asked

"Francis!" Blake said

"No, it's gotta be Fuck" Qrow said

"It must be Fuck" ruby agreed

"It's gotta be Fuck, yeah" Qrow said

"It has to be Fuck" ruby agreed again

"Why the hell would it be Fuck?" Blake asked

"Well because otherwise why wouldn't he just say it?" Ruby said

"Yeah, he's hiding something. It's Fuck" Qrow said

"I mean they are kind of making sense though" yang said

"No he Isn't yang" Blake said annoyed

"Come on, read between the lines" Ruby said

"It's Fuck. It's Fuck" Qrow said

"It's completely insane. You guys are idiots" Blake said

"Yeah, well, whatever. Qrow Clubberlang, get used to it" Qrow said

"Oh good it finished" ruby said

"What are you talking about I'm just skipping it to the future of this universe" zen said

"This is perfect. We're gonna get to the city before ten." Blake said

"Hey, Blake, how's your boring salad?" Qrow said

"Oh, it's actually delicious" Blake said

"Everybody always say that about their salads, they're all a bunch of fucking liars" Ruby said

"Okay how can someone find a salad delicious" ruby said

"Yeah that is boring to eat a salad" Qrow said

"Yeah they are a bunch of fucking lair" ruby said others was shocked hearing ruby swear in the room

"What?" Ruby asked curious

"Why did you swear" yang said

"Yang I can swear if I want I just don't okay" ruby said annoyed.

"No, I love it. It's really good" Blake said

"Have some cookie crisps, you need something nutritional" ruby said

"Why do you think I want your cookie crisp?" Blake said

"Because you've been staring at it and you want it" ruby said

"No!" Blake said

"Cookie crisps they look delicious" ruby said wanting them.

"Yeah I did see you stare at them Blake don't try to lie" ruby said

"Hey, what's the deal here? Are you guys ever gonna make out or what?" Qrow said

"Qrow, come on, dude!" Ruby said

"What? I'm just...I'm just sayin'. You look like you're hitting it off, you know? I mean, Blake, Blake, you dig her, right?" Qrow said (Blake just smiles)

(they hear a customer sat at the diner counter with his back to them and his ass crack showing yell at the waitress)

"Yeah when are you going to make-out in this universe" yang teased

"Shut up yang" both Blake and ruby said embarrassed.

"Ohh Blake definitely like ruby in this universe" yang said

"Be quiet yang" ruby said while jumping on yang to make her be quiet.

"Oh god we can see his ass crack I don't want to see that" Qrow said.

While ruby and yang had stop fighting with each other.

Blind Guy: Hey, where the hell is my coffee? I've been waiting for ten minutes!

Diner Waitress: I'm so sorry, sir, I forget. I'll get it right away.

Blind Guy: Jesus, you're a waitress, you're not building rockets, figure it out!

"What a prick. Hey, twenty bucks I can toss a cookie crisp into his ass crack" ruby said

"He being a massive prick" Qrow said

"Oh yeah throw the cookie crisp in his ass crack" yang said

"Wait, let me try. I used to pitch for the softball team at Arizona State" Blake said

"Oh, yeah? Was your mascot a broken condom?" Qrow said

"Shut up." (Blake tosses the cookie and it lands straight into the customer's butt crack) "Oh!" (after Blake tosses a cookie into the customer's butt crack)

"Yeah you got it blake" yang said laughing.

"Yeah but I think it going to back fire on us" Blake said

Blind Guy: Who did that? [the customer turns and they see he is blind]

"Oh, Jesus Christ. You gotta be kidding me" Qrow said

(to Blake) "Now we're assholes. Look what you did" ruby said

Blind Guy: I swear to God I'll kick your Goddamn ass! Who was it?

"Oh no he blind wow Blake doing that to a blind person" yang said

"Oh shut up yang you where laughing" Blake said.

"Um, sir, I apologize for my five year old daughter" Qrow said

(Ruby starts speaking a child's voice) "I'm sorry. Sorry, sir. Cookie crisp in your bum bumsies, I'm sorry" Ruby said

Blind Guy: Well, under the circumstances, I guess it's okay.

"Oh, my God. Now we're even bigger assholes" Blake said

"Oh dust really your going to play it off as a kid" yang said laughing

"But listen to ruby voice she actually sounds like a child" Weiss said smiling.

"Okay but that makes us even bigger assholes" Qrow said smiling

"Go get my cookie crisp out of his ass" ruby said (the waitress comes over to their table)

Waitress: You guys making trouble over here?

"Uh, no ma'am. We're just minding our business" ruby said

Waitress: (to Blake) Well just try to keep your girlfriend under control here, yeah?

"Really ruby asking that" Weiss said disgusted

"See even the waiter thinks you two are together in this universe" yang said smiling thinking of all the times she can tease both ruby and Blake.

"Shut up" ruby said annoyed.

"Yes please shut up" Blake said

"Oh, she's not my girlfriend" Blake said

Waitress: Oh, good.

"Uh, we'll just get the check, thanks" ruby said

Waitress: Of course. (she smiles at Ruby and leaves)

(referring to the waitress) "Oh, my God. Ruby, did you see that? She was totally giving you the "fuck me" eyes"

"No, she wasn't" ruby said

"She was giving you the "fuck me" eyes" Qrow said

"Oh looks like you have competition Blake" yang said

"What are fuck me eyes though" Blake questioned ignoring yang

"You'll see" zen said

"What are the "fuck me" eyes?" Blake said

"It's...some women just have "fuck me" eyes" Qrow said

"Do I have "fuck me" eyes?" Blake asked

"No, you have the "Give us the ring, my precious" eyes" Qrow said

"Well, we'd better get going. We got two hours of driving left and I'm kind of beat" ruby said

"Yeah, we gotta be well rested for tomorrow" Blake said

"Okay that the end of this universe" zen said

"It was funny but embarrassing for me mainly because of yang" ruby said looking at yang Who is just smiling like she hasn't done anything wrong at all.

"Why are you looking at me" yang said innocently

"Okay let's start the next universe" zen said