Kyuuketsuki 03

My plan for spring break was about to begin. The anticipation of sitting inside and doing a whole lot of nothing was building up. Looking forward to reading books in my room all day, I sat on my bed and started my literary ascendance. As day became afternoon, and afternoon became evening, I had read several volumes of a novel that had piqued my interest at the bookstore last week. I saw it, and the synopsis described a seemingly original plot compared to the other books there, so I picked up the first several volumes. I hadn't actually begun reading it until the first day of spring break, since I wanted to wait until I could read uninterrupted. I was enjoying the first day of my spring break, until I encountered a problem. I had finished all the volumes that I bought from that series. Typically, I would be satisfied with my reading, and continue the story with the next volumes at a later time. However, I was right to pick this story after reading the synopsis. I had been captivated by this page turner. Within the first few volumes, I had already become attached to this story, this world, and these characters. I was fascinated by what I had read. I got very involved with this story very quickly, and I just couldn't wait. I needed to go to the bookstore that instant to get the next several volumes.

I made the right choice to buy this series, as I was enthralled by it like no other story had done to me

Though, when I think about what happened after, I guess picking such an interesting story was an incorrect choice after all.

I left the house without any problems, since there was no one else to cause any. There could have been problems caused my circumstances other than people, but there were no such occurrences. If there were, I would have had to attend to it, as I didn't plan to let anything disturb my spring break plan any more than this sudden trip to the bookstore already had. But I did consider this trip to the bookstore a worthy cause, as I was going to obtain the continuation of the first story in forever that I truly got invested in. On my way to the store, I luckily didn't run into anyone from school. A disaster would have happened if I did. I didn't see anyone I knew at all either. That was also for the best, even if I could've gotten away with a chance encounter with my second cousin or something like that. I do prefer to keep family separate from school life. I like to keep everything away from school life. Including myself. And not just away form school life. I didn't mind doing the work and tests and whatnot. What I wanted, or rather, needed to stay away form was school itself. The place. Because they were there.

My time at the bookstore was somewhat extended. It wasn't long, but it wasn't brief.  It could be deduced from that statement that perhaps I got sidetracked from what I came there to do and started reading some random other books, but I actually just spent my time there reading the next volume of the series I went there to get. I had no shortage of money, so I didn't benefit in a monetary sense by reading it there. I was still going to buy the books, I just saved some time by finishing up one of the volumes before I bought it. That way, less time would be spent at home reading and I could do other things if needed, or if an emergency came up. I say this, yet my thought process from then totally contradicts my spring break plan. What good is having a plan of "do nothing but read" if you make less time for yourself to read? I acknowledged that while I thought I was doing myself good, I actually had made a mistake, and I bought the volumes I hadn't read(and the one I did) so I could go home. I paid, and exited the bookstore. When I went outside, evening had become night. The moon was visible, and people were not. All the night shift people were already indoors at their jobs, children were asleep, and daytime shift workers were at home enjoying a late dinner or also sleeping. Not that I keep up with the routines of typical people or their families. I didn't care a whole bunch about other people, because no one else really ever cared a whole bunch about me. That's how I always assumed things were, and as a result I adapted into an apathetic husk of a human. Though not quite a monster, I could get away with being lumped in that category. Often expressionless when interacted with, and emotionless when provoked in any manner, I was isolated. Though I did that on my own. By being as cold as ice to everyone. Because no one wants to be around someone who doesn't act like they want people to be around them even a little. I think the nickname I got was "Unwavering silence" or something. A cool name for a warrior, but not for a high schooler. I was quickly made fun of and started being treated worse than just getting isolated, though the isolation was mainly my own fault. Comparing something of my own doing, even if it's negative, to something horrible out of my control, isn't a comparison. Perhaps, maybe if someone had shown me what true compassion was like, my series of wrong turns would have been corrected before they happened, and I would be a better person. As things are now, I'm just a barely alive corpse doll with only a speck of emotion, that's bound to continue down the ever expanding series of wrong turns. This is the present that I have accepted, and I also accept that the past cannot be altered(?), but the present and future can. Though I don't know how much I'll end up doing about it. On my way home, I took an unexpected detour. Rather, an unexpected roadblock appeared on my normal route home. It wasn't really a detour. It was unexpected, but not a detour. It was a new development, a new discovery, a new roadblock. One that I took a wrong turn into. I took a wrong turn into a silver-white haired woman with gold eyes.