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SUSAN'S POV

The weather in the city has taken a turn. As I am casually strolling on the streets it suddenly gets cloudy. Hoping it will get clear in a while, I stroll to the to the nearest café and get myself a cup of coffee.

I had felt an unexplainable restlessness in my bones, and thought that a nice, quiet stroll would help soothe my nerves.

I take in a sip of the steamy coffee. Its bitter taste slightly burns my tongue. I hold the cup close to my chest as I take a turn back to my apartment.

Ever since I moved to this city, quiet strolls like this always helps clear my mind and settle my nerves. It often gets difficult to take some time out for myself, so I decided to make a habit out of it.

Particularly, today is a difficult day as some memories have been flooding my brain with images that I would rather avoid right now. But somebody had said, "regrets have their unique way to conjure up a million different thoughts in your mind." They said it right.

It's not like I am exceptional, of course, I have regrets in my life that I would rather not think about, but looks like there is no escaping it today.

Pleasant images from the past flashes before my eyes— the carefree, silly, and happier days from a few years ago and I shake my head hoping to chase them away. Sighing heavily, I hurry my place to reach my destination and breathe in the familiar comfort of my apartment.

——————

I clicked the door shut before plopping down on the couch, propping my feet to lie in a more comfortable position. The coffee in the cup is almost finished when my phone starts to buzz, and I reach for it to pick it up from the center table.

I sit up straight when I see the caller ID and instantly hit the answer button.

"Hey Mum!" I greet.

"Hey, Honey! Oh, you're okay!" She replied and I could hear the relief in her voice. Hearing her voice puts a small smile on my face, and I sigh contently.

"Where were you? I have been calling for the past thirty minutes." She states.

Meet my mother, Abigail Jones, or Abby as everyone likes to call her. She was around eighteen years old when she first met my dad, and they instantly fell in love. Not long after they both settled, I was born.

I am a single child because my parents didn't want to share their love with anyone else, and that thought always made me feel special. Needless to say, I have always been their number one priority.

"Sorry, I had you worried. I was out, and forgot to take my phone with me." I explain while apologizing.

"Is everything okay?" She asks.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I reply with a question of my own, knitting my eyebrows together, and she senses my anxious state.

"You forgot to take your phone because I am guessing you were absent minded." She acknowledges.

"Oh! Uh– I-" I stutter.

How does she do that?

I clear my throat and my mum decides to break the stretching silence.

"I didn't tell you everything to make you worried, you know." She says.

"How is he doing now?" I ask.

"You know your dad will feel a lot better once you are here." She states.

"I will be there. . . This weekend, don't worry." I reply.

For a few more minutes, I and my mum talked about everything and nothing when I took a minute to muster up the courage and voice out the sole thoughts that have been nagging me these days.

"Can I ask you something, Mum?'" I ask.

"Sure, honey! What is it?" She questions.

I swallow a lump in my throat before continuing. "Am I a good daughter?" I ask.

"Of course!" She answers without missing a beat, clearly taken aback by this question.

"Why would you— oh, sweetie! You are the best daughter any parent could ever ask for. . . Do you have any idea how much we both love you?" She asks.

I feel the tears well up in my eyes hearing the sincerity in her voice. "Hmm, I know how much you both love me, I love you guys too! I just-" I say then trail off.

My mum isn't one to beat around the bush, so she softly raises a question. "Tell me, what is bothering you?"

"I feel like I have not been a good daughter," I pause. Sensing I have more to say, my mum doesn't interrupt me.

"I haven't been-," I sigh, "I haven't been around much, you know! How do I explain it?" I am trying to find a way to put the words properly.

"You don't have to– no need to explain. I understand what you mean, besides you have never been good with words anyway." She says

The last bit of that sentence causes me to chuckle lightly, and I can picture mum with a wide smile.

"Mum!" I scold playfully.

"I get what you mean, and you have nothing to be guilty about. Just because you haven't been living with us doesn't make you any less of an amazing daughter." She encourages me.

"But you guys missed--," I start but she cuts me off mid sentence.

"No, don't!" She protests, "Honey, don't do this to yourself, please." She begs. "We kept our visits frequent in the past years, so we have not missed out on anything, if that's what you were going to say." She adds.

I sigh.

"Now that you are coming back, we could be happier." She indicates happily, a smile in her voice.

"I still feel disappointed." I argue.

"We couldn't be more proud of you, honey! Why do you feel disappointed with yourself?" She raises the question.

"Because I should have been there for you guys." I reply sadly.

"You have been, honey! Now don't overthink it, we want to see you happy." She says.

"But-"

"I don't want you stepping into OUR house like this, do you hear me young lady?" She scolds, "you shouldn't be thinking like this when you have been nothing but an amazing daughter." She adds.

Figuring there is no winning from my mum, I nodded meekly before agreeing with her.

"I will try mum." I say.

"You better!" She lightheartedly retorts, effectively bringing a small smile on my face again.

"I love you so much!"

"I love you too! We cannot wait to see your pretty face." She says.

"Soon!" I reply.

After hanging up the phone call with my mum, I decided to let my thoughts slide and relax. Even though I didn't do much talking, I am glad that I didn't have to put my feelings into words because my mum understood everything anyway.

"I am finally going home." I mutter to myself. A serene expression took over my face as soon as the words slipped, and I got up to stretch before making a beeline for my bedroom.