Chapter 10 - A Letter

"You knights of Solan are all identical, so driven by the ideals of order that you blind yourselves to reality. I could say I pity you. Although honestly, I couldn't care less, you are all just feeble rats in my eyes." His cruel insults ring harshly inside my ears, carving themselves deep into my heart. 

"True power will niegh be obtained from slaving away for the Gods, or from a path of righteousness." His terror inducing words hang across the patrol like anvils on our shoulders. Lannis pushes through the squad, dividing us to let him closer to the table Askeladd had stood. His tramps on the dark gray stone floor echoing through the city. As he looks down onto the child who had hidden under Dirbys's table.

"My my, what have we here?" Lannis bows down with clear intent of not even keeping a watch on the whole patrol of Sigil Knights behind him.

"What is your name, child." The patrol slowly backs away from Lannis, cowering away from this presence, Rito follows as the others do, though he still stands without a hint of emotion. Unfazed by the brutality just displayed in front of him.

"C-Cain, my name is Cain." The child's voice stammers from the immense pressure and nature of the pale man in front of him.

"Cain huh? Well Cain, I can sense a great archaic prowess brewing within you, come with me child, I have much to teach you." Cain looks up to us Sigils with shine and hope in his eyes. But we look away.

"Come now, these knights won't help you, only I can." Cain hesitantly raises his shaken hand from under the table, and Lannis grabs it. He walks together with the scared Cain further out to the entrance of Oresfall, when suddenly he snaps his fingers with archaic intent. A white glowing circle of sorts forms into the ground itself, and suddenly, both are gone 

The whole city felt lobotomised as they disappeared, the silence screaming. I look to Askeladd, if I can even call the mutilated corpse away from me Askeladd. The ribs of the man had sprung out and pierced through his body, and every bone that had been set in place had in some way broken or pierced out. A dark crimson pool of blood slowly flowed across the remains. The patrol barely even moves, all just watching and standing, waiting for someone to move.

The travel home was all but somber, not a single hum from any of the knights in the patrol, only walking in melancholy. Askeladd's corpse was detached from the wall in which it had clasped onto, as even if it was painful ripping his stone bound body up from the streets, children and civilians still lived here. Scenes like that shouldn't be happening in such places. 

The slow rot of the corpse drove me mad, even though it hadn't started smelling yet, I could feel my brain tricking me into smelling the death and mold. The troupe barely even stopped for a break on the somber road home, any screams or blood curdling yells were passed off, as we could not contain to witness more. Finally after a long march, we arrived back at Palelink. 

The sky had already turned dark and dusk, as we entered through the lit arches.

The kindling torch lights lit our shameful yet quiet march through the city, to our luck the civilians had gone to bed, and the bars were open for service. As we came to the nearest prison in Palelink, the experienced knights of the group wushed us new recruits away from the scene that was about to take place, as they had to explain every detail to some of the Sigils in there. We were told that in these cases, the full squad would be given two weeks off, while they find a replacement Commander. Ultimately we could do nothing but walk away dishonored.

 I quickly see Rito wandering away from the prison, and on the way to the Sigil tree with a stoic look, though I catch up to him. I give him a nudge in the back of his head to alert him of my appearance.

"Oi Rito, you alright?" I ask.

"I'm fine, just let me be for a bit."

"Alright… just let me know if something is up."

"I will, thanks." His eyes tell a different story, yet even at his request, he still takes me with him

We take the transport lift up the tree, as Rito rushes quickly to the smithing area. I follow with, not knowing where else to go. And here at this time in this lone room, stands Kaladin swiping away at a piece of white hot iron.

"Kali!" Rito suddenly drops the stoic act as he runs towards Kaladin. The hulking smith lays his hammer and metal, and takes off his fist covered goggles, his face decked in smog as well.

"Ey sweet, you're back early, and hi Judari." Kaladin waves at me as Rito embraces him.

"So, did something happen? Guessing something did, as you were supposed to be back later this week." His voice stands strong through his clear worrydom.

"Our patrol leader, Askeladd. He… he died." Rito says deeply hugging Kaladin, now that I look closely, they are nearly the same height, Rito only a couple centimeters off, though Kaladin still packs more muscle on him, while Rito is more on the lean side.

"Gods, never expected Askeladd of all the commanders to go out. How did it happen?" Kaladin's voice now breaks it's strong tone, and unleashes the terror that had laid within it.

"We had only just entered Oresfall, when… Lannis Shallow entered the city,"

"He got close to the patrol, and suddenly Askeladd just bolted at him yelling his name, and as you can imagine, that didn't end well."

"Oh my gods. Of course it's that bastard Lannis. I really don't get why the Dukes give him so much protection, he's just a pathetic man who can barely keep himself alive without draining others, I'm sorry you had to even take a glance at him." Kaladin says as he pulls Rito in tighter in his smog covered smith's apron.

"I'm, I'm sorry I didn't mean to let it out on you Kal." Rito quickly shuts off the affection, and turns into the stoic iceberg as before.

"It's fine Rito." Kaladin says sincerely.

"You maybe want to get a drink or something?" Kaladin says.

"Where?" Rito says coldly.

"Well." He quickly looks to me and then back to Rito.

 "How about we go to one of the local bars, I hear their brews and beers are of premium quality. You'd like to join in as well, right Judari?" He says to me as I quickly snap into social mode.

"Uh yeah of course!" I say.

"See Rito? Now come one, get some fresh clothes on and not that roughed out armor plating, kay?" 

 "Okay, Kaladin." Rito draughtly wanders out the room, and just before I do as well, I feel the thick gloves of Kaladin on my shoulder.

"So Judari, can we talk for a second." He says and looks sternly, and even though we're around the same height, I feel like he's towering over me with those wicks of hair locks and muscular face.

"You can probably see that Rito as of late has been… distant. I've tried to talk to him but he won't budge, do you maybe know what's up?" I feel my body sort of setting itself into a relaxed state.

"I've got no clue, but I'll talk to him, he's been the same with me." I pause slightly, wondering if I should say this.

"And well, when Askeladd got murdered, he just… Stood there, and watched, I barely even saw a flinch from him." I give in.

"Thought so… That just doesn't seem like my Rito, but thanks for telling me, let's hope we can make him feel better, huh?" He nudges me in the shoulder as he walks out the room.

The fresh air of the shifting sea hits me yet again, as we jump off the planked platform. I've dressed myself up in an airy and spacious cream colored tunic, the ridges of the blouse lining nicely along my wrists.

 "So, that bar I was talking about, is located in the heart of Palelink. It's called the Palindorus. I've been there a bit with my family, though it's super expensive, but don't worry, I'll pay the bill as I quested the place." Kaladin says with a fancy tone of speaking, while walking me and Rito confidently into the city. 

We traverse slowly through the town, as the sun begins to set out across the horizon to my left. The slow turn from orange to a light pink to the deep purple of the sky mesmerizes my eyes. I still feel that slightest of connections to the stars above, I want to meet the stars I think.

"AND we're here!" I hear suddenly from Kaladin. The building in front of us seems made of marble and gilded with gold railings, with large beams just to hold up a massive sign saying 'Palindorus'. Kaladin wasn't lying when he said it was an expensive place, it seems like one of the biggest buildings in all of Palelink. Kaladin flings the pale saloon doors open, letting the glimmer and light from the inner bar shine across our group.

 "I already got a seat ready, just follow me." Kaladin says as he walks us up the spiral wooden staircase, I get a good overlook at the bar below. Dark ebony tables are set finely across the expensive velvet carpetry below, with stacks upon stacks of gold toothed, loud talking rich entrepreneur's sit laughing till their bellies blow wide upwards, as servers in fine tailored suits come out with large showful silver platers. Teetering over to their rich owners with their bubbling champagne.

"Been a while since I was last here, when I was younger my family used to take me here to eat a lot, so I already have a table ready for us." Kaladin smirks as we reach the top of the staircase. A hallway of sorts opens up at the peak, although the right wall is replaced with railings to give a clear view of the people below. While the left wall is solid, with five rooms each covered by magenta tinted curtains made of shining cloth.

"So uh Kali, how are you gonna afford this place?" Rito asks with hints of curiosity in his tone.

"Don't worry about it, the guys know me here." Suddenly Kaladin takes his right hand, and whistles sharply using his fingers as amplifiers in his mouth. 

"Maurice! It's been too long my friend!" Kaladin shouts at a more prestigious looking server stationed at a dark oak lectern.

"Pleasure seeing you again sir, same table as usual?" Maurice inquires with an elegant accent.

"Of course! Also I'll be bringing these two with me." Kaladin brings us both in view of Maurices judging eyes.

"Mmph, and these two are supposed to be who?"

"My bodyguards of course, they're both Sigil Knights you see, I'm just bringing them out to drink as they've had a rough week." Kaladin says as both me and Rito try out best not to blow whatever lie he's telling.

"Alright then, just enter into room three." Maurice says as he closes a large leathered book down with a thud. Kaladin nods as he brings us behind the curtains and into an enigmatic lounge, with half circle red velvet sofa filling most of the room, and a fast dark table stood in the middle, as small candles on wax stand burning atop the sofa.

 "So, we're just bodyguards huh." Rito jokingly says.

"My fault, I'm usually not allowed to bring people with me, and you're both Sigils, so you being my 'bodyguards' wouldn't be unbelievable hehe." Kaladin laughs awkwardly as he sits down in the center of the soft sofa's plushes.

I slowly make myself rest upon the cushions as well, getting slightly comfortable in the dark room.

"I'll order some beverages and appetizers, anything you'd prefer?" He looks at Rito first.

"What do they have?" Rito asks.

"They have a whole array of things, but knowing your exotic tastes, I'll order something on the more 'rare' side." He then turns his head slightly to me.

"And what would you like, Judari."

 "Do they have uh… breadsticks?" I ask, as Kaladin merely stares at me.

"They do have breadsticks… I*ll just order some and you can think of something else later." Kaladin says as he whistles again.

"Maurice, my part and I are ready to order!" Pushing aside the curtains comes the pale Maurice.

"Very good." He pulls out a tiny book of sorts, and flicks up a pencil in his finger.

"You may begin your order."

Kaladin orders a platter of various expensive wines, beers and alcoholic drinks to our private enclosed table, as Maurice personally serves us the beverages and cup of breadsticks with a side of butter and salt.

"So, come on, let's get drinking!" Kaladin laughs as he lifts up a beer and chugs it down. I take up a beer and press the open smoking lid against my lips, as I let the harsh brew slide down my throat.

 "Ugh! It's so bitter!" I yell.

"Takes a bit of getting used to, but you'll like it soon enough." Kaladin says as he takes another swish of beer. Rito takes up a beer of his own.

"Huh, it's not that bad, doesn't taste great but it's alright." Rito says as he takes another sip again, it seems I'm the only one who hates this. And though I despise the taste, I keep drinking, and so do the others. Down one, down three, down six. My head, it hurts. My eyes can barely keep open, but the laughter of the birds in front of me keeps me from drowning in a zest of slumber. Seems they've drunken just as much, though Kaladin seems much more upbeat.

"Soooo, anythjin' you two want'ted to talk about?" Kaladin sloppily asks.

"We urh, we have two weeks off I, s'pouse.." Rito says with a dreadful attitude yet unsober tone.

"That's great! You gots any plans for your wee-eeks off?"

"I guess train, I don't know." Rito answers leaning against Kaladin sulking.

 "My gods Rito! When'ju you become such a bore? How about this, I tja'ke you out for a little exploration, sound fun right?" Kaladin says excitedly, grabbing Rito and rocking him back and forth.

"I guess." He says in a sull tone. The answer breaking the ecstatic flow and energy of the conversation, making us go silent.

"So uh, Rito, any reason why you've been so… quiet lately?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" Rito answers back, pointing his light blue finger at me, nearly tipping over one of the empty wine or beer bottles.

"It's just, you have been sort of uh… distant." I feel myself forgetting words as I try to speak, though the alcohol seems to be slowly clearing.

"In what way?" Rito asks, staring daggers into me.

"Well, when Askeladd got… you know…, You just watched! I barely even saw you blink, as if you didn't care." I say as Rito shakes his head.

"Of course I cared, but I can't just… No never uh… mind." His words fumble over each other, as he tries to hold himself back.

"What is it you can't Rito?" I ask sincerely.

"I just can't…" he pauses clearly trying to bend his drunken mind to his will.

"I can't show emotion." The words leaving his mouth send a cunning chill down my back, as even in my deliriousness, I could feel the sorrow in his words.

"Of course you can show emotion, Rito!" Kaladin budges drunkenly in, making Rito solumny peer away.

 "Why can't you show emotion Rito?" I ask, Rito seems to sit in ponder for a second.

"It's cauze' of that little fucking piss worm Siegfried!" Rito without any class shouts, his previous restraint torn to shreds.

"Shoving me around, calling me a lesser. Gods I just want to punch that brat, right in his smug face!" Rito bursts out with viscous energy.

"That's my Rito right there!" Kaladin cries out in jubilation, as I sit in quiet waiting for the two to calm their voices. Though rather unluckily they both keep their ramble going for twenty minutes.

"Gods, I really needed to let out a little, thanks." Rito says exhaustedly, thanking us for simply being proper people to him.

"Hold up excuse me, I have to go to the restroom, be right back." Kaladin raises himself from the sofa and exits the room.

"Don't worry about it Rito, just know I'm always here if you need to talk about anything." I say.

"Thanks…" Rito says, the alcohol clearly having run mostly out of his system. Though I can still feel it coursing through every vein and crevice of my body.

"Well there is one thing that I wanted to ask you." Rito says, but his tone has lowered and sombered.

"What's is it?" I say while trying to cling onto my words through the alcohol's instistance of anibreation.

"Do you blame me, for your mother's death?" I could feel my whole world shattering before my eyes. His question quickly erupted shivers and a flight reaction from within me, I could feel my body couldn't bear or handle to lie, even if for the sake of Rito, all I can do is just sit stun-locked in place.

"Judari, please answer. I know it's been a long time since we talked about it. But It's been on my mind a lot lately, and I can't help but feel you also have it on your mind as well, even if not intentionally." I could feel my eyes and face swell up, knowing my answer.

"...How… how can I not hold you to blame…" My mouth betrays me, even if the words I've spoken are true. Rito's face sets itself to a sadness, though one without surprise or shock.

"I can't say I didn't expect that answer." Rito solumny says.

"Just know, if I could go back in time, I would have made sure your mother came home, no matter the cost." 

"Well…" I feel the venomous ink running rampant inside me, as I try to hold my tongue for it's malicious assaults back.

"You can't do that, can you? So what good are y.." The inebriation hits me as I stumble over my words.

"What good are your words if they don't impact anything, I could give two less shits about what you would have done… It's too late for that." I sling the harsh venomfil words across the table, while Rito sits quietly, taking every bad sentence into his heart. As every word I had spoken reaches my own ears and passes into them, I realize the unfiltered shit I had just spewed.

"I… I'll just go back to the room.." My drunken lips say, finally exiting the densely hot room. Leaving Rito sitting alone, only respite being Kaladin's hopefully short return. 

I quickly stumble my way back to the lift, my legs and arms nearly giving up along the way. Not a soul in sight, just the empty life. I step onto it hoping to the gods that it would move. I lean myself over the railing, letting myself rest before realizing that the lift was slowly ascending upwards.

Though the longer up, the cool air came refreshingly through my nostrils, and ignited me again. Finally at the top, I let the alcohol slowly vanish out my system, as I make my way to the entrance. My mind shifts and turns around itself, as I try to think of where I'm going. Images of home, of Rito, of my mother, of my father, appear in rapid succession, sinking talons into my brain. I cannot believe how long it's been since I last spoke with the old man, I miss him so much. I scramble up to my room, clinging to the carved bark walls. 

My dependance on the walls lead me to salvation, as I'm met with my room's door, I barge in and quickly rush over to the rustic table in the corner of the room. I seat myself down, letting my blood and adrenaline settle. I feel my brain regaining itself, the disgusting reeking smell of my body becomes apparent. I let my hands feel across the rugged desk, finding it's way to the drawer embedded in the desk. Tearing out the desk-pocket, a pencil and paper is sat laid in the confines of the box.

The paper seems slightly aged and crumbled, but it works. I let the pencil slide between my curdled fingers, as I let them ink the page, ignoring my mind, yet following my heartily guide.

 For Inari Onyx, my father.

It's been too long since we last spoke, I missed you badly. I know my departure was to say the least, rough. But I hope I didn't leave a bad taste in your mouth, dad.

I'm finally writing this letter, as I've felt myself questioning the life I chose. As you predicted accurately.

Last we spoke, you mentioned that me becoming a part of the Sigil Order would have been a grave mistake, one that I could never repair. And I'm starting to think you were right, as me and Rito's friendship has worsened over this year of training.

He's been acting a lot more distant and stoic, as if he was a General, which I recently found out you used to be; Inari, Flame General of the Sigil Order, and Scourge of the Prince cult. That's what they call you, I have no clue why you hid that from me, but I just don't know how you can possibly make me more proud that you're my dad, a true sigil hero.

Anyhow, don't know if you got the news, but me and Rito's first mission didn't end too well. Our leader was murdered by Lannis Shallow, and it wasn't a pretty sight…

To not end this letter off on such a disastrous note, I wanted to ask you if I could visit soon, hope you all didn't miss me too much back at the sanctuary. - Judari Onyx, your son.