Backstory

When we nuked the Earth, we went to Mars, when we nuked Mars, we went to Venus, and well you can probably tell what happened next. And the Moon? That was destroyed long before Earth.

We fluttered like radioactive fairies across thousands of solar systems, nuking and nuking every now and then just to see if we would somehow survive our own stupidity. And we always did. We even found out that if you smashed quarks that made an even bigger explosion.

So big an explosion it made that when we inevitably pushed the big red button, aliens came to check it out, and some genius decided to try to nuke the aliens and now we've been at war for five thousand years.

The details in how such a war is fought are so long and convoluted that humanity cracked like an egg into millions of factions in a complex socio-political-economic-scientific-shithole, in which no common sense can escape named, the Free Imperium Of United Confederate Economic Nationstates Planetary Defensive Offensive Front, or F.I.O.U.C.E.N.P.D.O.F.

...Yeah, I don't know how the aliens haven't won yet.

-Captains Log