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Road to greatness

Author: blanc2276
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Ongoing · 237.7K Views
  • 17 Chs
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Synopsis

This is about a young lad who sets out on a journey to becoming strong and rich so he can give the most to his family .while he unfortunately doesn't have great potential everything changes when he meets and kills a certain beast p.s I upload an episode in the morning an then in the evening . daily so far.but I don't upload on weekends

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Contracted The Beautiful Triplets And I Gained The 10000x Rebate System

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Porfatos
PorfatosLv4

Hey author, I don't know if you're going to read this but I want to give fair criticisms on your novel, because it got some potential. Firstly your world building is lacking, a novel should have a world that the reader could immerse himself in. An example of world building, is explaining what the main character looks like, or describing certain locations. Your novel has no descriptions of anything, for example the character wants to become a cultivator to feed his family, this concept is fine however we know nothing about his family, We only know that his father was a general, but we don't know any names or anything about them like personalities. Secondly the story development is to fast, in the span of 2 (maybe to short) chapters, the MC goes from struggling with his poor talent to getting a cheat. For the reader this story development is to short, the reader should feel that the MC must've earned the cheat, or that the MC is in such a desperate situation that he needs the cheat. In case of both situations the reader can accept that the MC gets a cheat. (BTW Don't give your MC in every situation a cheat, then the story would be boring) It's also alright with taking your time with the story, you race from point a to point b. If you take your time describing the world, the situation of the mc, or describe certain items. The chapters will get longer and the story more exciting. Thirdly your character design is abysmal, I don't know anything about the MC. I don't know what he likes or loves, or what he hates. Give your MC a personality, like let him describe things from his perspective, or voice his inner thoughts. Just a ****** dialogue can give entire characters a certain feel towards them. Fourthly, your grammar was alright I guess, I have seen worse. I am also not a native speaker so I know how hard it is to write in a foreign language. A tip tough try to use google docs, or check your spelling with a grammar checker. Your novel has a lot of potential however you need to improve your writing style more. P.S. This is just my own opinion, take it with you or ignore it your choice.

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