Wife Response

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more

than receiving your letter. Its

true you & I have been married

for 7 years, although a good

man is a far cry from what

you've been.

I watch my soaps so much

because they drown out your

constant whining & griping

Too bad that didn't work.

I DID notice when you got a

haircut last week, but the 1st

the thing that came to mind was

'You look just like a girl!' since

my mother raised me not to say

anything if you can't say

something nice, I didn't

comment.

And when you cooked my

favorite meal, you must have

gotten me confused with MY

SISTER, because I stopped

eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I

turned away from you because

the 49.99 price tag was still on

them, & I prayed it was a

coincidence that my sister had

just borrowed $50 from me that

morning.

After all of this, I still loved you

& felt we could work it out. So

when I hit the lotto for 10

million dollars, I quit my job &

bought us 2 tickets to jamaica

But when I got home you were

gone.

Everything happens for a

reason, I guess. I hope you

have the fulfilling life you

always wanted.

My lawyer said that the letter

you wrote ensures you won't

get a dime from me. SO take

care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As

Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told

you this, but my sister Carla

was born Carl. I hope that's not

a problem