A Yearning for Strength

"I am proud of you Kai, keep up your efforts and one day you'll be a proud warrior… although there is no need for you to chase fights and danger. Just being able to defend yourself successfully will be satisfactory for your mother and I." Damien slowly said this as he repeatedly patted his son's shoulder.

There was a hint of rare annoyance in Kai's voice, he even seemed to avoiding his father's pats.

"That instructor you hired, sure did train me as such. It was…difficult, and painful. But father… I-I…guess I can try."

Kai spoke no more of it. Even if he were to consider protesting against this vicious training, now would not be the place or time to do so.

"Father, have you seen Theo around the Keep today?"

"Sorry Kai, there has been no sign of him… Although I heard the staff mention, that he hasn't left his room since yesterday, perhaps he demands to be alone for the time being, and who can blame the young lad, he's been through enough already." Damien had a sympathetic expression as he thought about the unfortunate nature of the Prince's situation.

A sense of dejectedness swept over Kai as he heard his father's words. Yet, he was unwilling to leave without meeting Theo.

"Wait for me father, I'll return shortly."

Kai quickly said this, and approached the exit to the kitchen. He made his way to the left wing of the Keep, he walked slowly as usual.

He strode through the left wing, when he seemed unable to find what he was looking for, he made his way up the wide stairs.

On the first floor, Kai spotted Steward Laurel. The Steward seemed preoccupied in conversation with one of the chamber maids. He seemed to be disciplining her regarding some protocol. His mood was sour as well.

"Princess Valeria may seem like a young innocent girl, but she's nothing of the sort. Do not, under any circumstances, leave her unattended. If she manages to escape, the King will have your head on a spike… Am I clear?"

The pale-faced chamber maid was clearly convinced of her duties and began apologising profusely.

"St-Steward Abernathy, may I have a word?" A whisper of a sound echoed behind Abernathy's back. He slowly turned and looked at the docile boy standing patiently behind him.

"What is it?" the steward bluntly asked.

"Sir, I-it's just that I was looking for Theo and was hoping you could tell me where to find him… If it's not too much trouble Sir."

Abernathy contemplated for a brief second, "The prince is under orders to stay in his room till his health improves, that's all I can say. Now, leave."

Kai looked down, he wanted to insist, but his nervousness didn't allow him to initiate. Abernathy was slowly walking away from him. Kai couldn't let this opportunity go, he felt a willingness to hear of Theo.

"Please Sir… I request you let me meet him, I know with everything that's happened, it may help him" Kai had a pale expression, but he still stood in place and spoke.

Abernathy turned once again, the annoyance on his face had disappeared, but his unnaturally calm demeanour made him even more frightening. "You're Damien's boy, are you not?"

Kai simply nodded, and spoke no further.

"Are you not afraid boy, for what would happen to your father, if you continued to pursue this matter with your annoying persistence?" The steward spoke plainly.

The thought of the repercussions affected Kai, he felt anxiousness, but he persisted. His gaze was still pointing downwards, "I'm sure… father will understand."

"I truly wonder if he will…" The steward said as he stared straight at Kai. He didn't enjoy berating this young boy, but when it came to the prince, he had always been protective.

Kai continued to stand in place, "Ca-Can you at least let me know of his condition?"

Seeing the unwillingness of the boy, Abernathy let go of his anger, he deemed it unworthy to deny the boy's request anymore.

"I had no intention to share this letter with you, but it seems like you won't let the matter rest. Then here, have at it."

Abernathy delicately removed a letter, hidden within his coat pocked, and flung it in Kai's direction. Kai promptly caught it and held onto it dearly.

"But remember boy, this is not to be shared with anyone… the prince trusts you, even if I don't understand it, you must not disappoint him." Abernathy said as he walked away.

Kai had a smile on his face as he looked at the sealed envelope in his hands, there was one word written in a neat handwriting on it, 'Kai.'

With the coming of night, Kai and Damien arrived back at the village. They had caught a carriage and followed a well known and reportedly safe route back from Aurora.

They unloaded their possessions, and made their way home. Kai's mother was awaiting their arrival, and laid out dinner for the two of them.

As the family sat and consumed their grub, Tressa who had been patiently waiting for the two returnees to eat their fill, finally asked, "So Kai, how was your training with Sir Illinor today? I hope you weren't disrespectful towards him."

Kai's snorted, "I wasn't the one being disrespectful… H-His training is a mockery, he used me as a striking dummy for the entire session. It was unfair, and disrespectful!… I-I do not want to continue with him." Kai took the first opportunity he could find to blatantly voice his concerns.

Damien turned to his son with a look of displeasure, his words were voiced higher than usual. "That man is a knight of this Kingdom, a highly respected body refiner and swordsman, not easy to find around these parts. You shall not ridicule him, no matter what… He's already doing our family, and especially me, a favour by taking you under his wing. You will continue… and you will work harder!"

Kai's expression paled when he heard his fathers shouts, it was rare for his father to speak so sternly. Tressa looked at her husband with concern, "Damien, please, not like this. You promised you wouldn't extend these responsibilities to Kai, unless he wanted to do so himself."

Damien's expression turned somber, his eyes were conflicted. He got up and excused himself, unwilling to say anything anymore.

"Mother, what is the matter with him?" Kai asked with concern.

Tressa sighed, "There are matters concerning your fathers past, that make it hard for him to accept certain things. And your displeasure to train is unfortunately one of them."

"Kai, your father… as you know, was once a son to a lesser lord, Lord Ulysses, your grandfather. When your father was your age, he was unable to excel at training, or become a capable body refiner. Perhaps, he really didn't have a choice in the matter, he didn't have the talent for swordsmanship, and his physique could not withstand refining. But he was too young to understand how his failure to become strong, would come to affect his very relationship with his family." Tressa spoke as she looked down with a solemn expression.

"Lord Grier was an inconsiderate father, he valued only his position, perhaps what he wanted most, was for his sons to become strong enough to challenge for the position of a Major Lord, maybe one day, even the Throne of Leventis. If any of them failed to meet his standards, he would shun them, outcast them."

"Your father was lost for a long time, filled with despair and regret, he was bullied because of his position in the house, and soon entirely avoided training. When Damien decided to marry, things became worse between the father and son. A day came when Damian was finally forced to confront his father. That day your father returned a broken man." There were tears forming at the edges of Tressa's eyes.

"That was the day Lord Ulysses declared Damien as an illegitimate child of the House Grier. He was mocked, shamed by most of the family." Tressa wiped her tears and turned to Kai, who was staring into the distance as he pondered everything he had heard.

"Your father, he struggles, often he does. It wasn't until you were born that your father found himself back on his feet. You became the very reason he continued onward. But, within you also lies his hopes, a chance to right the wrongs with his family, with his father. He struggles to keep this burden off your shoulders. Yet, he's managed to do so until late."

"But, yesterday, at the feast, for the first time in many years, he saw his father again. His father, his family, they didn't even acknowledge his existence, it-it pierced a part of him, which he's managed to keep hidden ever since their separation. There is no fixing this, eventually he'll recover. Just be patient with hi-"

Kai stood up from his chair and interrupted his mother. His face was devoid of emotion, but there was an unrelenting calmness that almost felt like anger, "I understand mother. I will try harder." He left the table and returned to his room, he had already been exhausted beyond his capabilities, and now he felt mentally drained as well.

He walked upto his bed and fell on it. He had a lot on his mind, perhaps even more than yesterday. He wanted to read Theodan's letter, but he couldn't help but repeatedly think of one person, his supposed grandfather, who had caused his father a world of pain.

He finally understood why his father hid his sour mood without mentioning a word of it to him.

Recounting the pitiful smile his father had given him in the Hall of the Keep, made Kai realise the pain his father must've felt when witnessing his own son among the cupbearers, standing like a servant, when his family was lavishly feasting amongst the nobles.

Eventually, Kai calmed himself, and opened Theo's letter. In it he found a neatly cut parchment, with elegant handwriting plastered over it.

'Dear Kai,

I hope this letter finds you safely. I must apologise for leaving you no notice and disappearing. The feast was an unrewarding experience, and probably will remain so no matter how much I despair about it. I know you worry, but know that I am doing better.

Our meetings will have to come to a halt, as I've been tasked with an opportunity that I must pursue. If I can qualify, perhaps it can lead to the end of all my troubles. But that is a matter for another time. Meet me within a months time from the day you receive this letter, I hope to be able to test myself by then. I do not hope for much, just the bare minimum will do. The Trials of Leventis shall be approaching in a few months, I must prepare, I must defy the expectations of my family.

Over our time knowing each other, I've come to trust you Kai. My chances to succeed are bleak. If I become certain of failure, I have a request for you. I hope you will consider it when the time comes.

- Theodan'

Kai read the letter over again, he wasn't too sure as to what Theo meant by this opportunity that he had been presented, but he was relieved to hear of it. He sincerely hoped, fate would favour Theodan and allow him to overcome the strain his family had put on him, it was the burden of every prince to become strong enough to retain the throne.

'Just like father, he too is burdened.'

'He too is burdened to become stronger, despite being born weak.'

Kai sighed, he had experienced torment in training today, he had felt fear in confronting Abernathy, and he had felt sorrow for his father. But things were clear to him now, he understood what was needed of him.

'It matters not. If I become stronger, then things will finally change, for mother, for father and for Theo.'