have to grudge or enjoy ?

California, 1 p.m.

I stopped my car in front of a bar. I immediately unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped outside and closed the door tightly.

I entered the bar which has a metallic nuance with golden yellow lighting and glanced around where there were a handful of people who were enjoying their meal while listening to music which was a song from Maroon Five entitled Girls Like You. I walked up to the bartender's table and was immediately greeted by a bartender who was my best friend, Bastian.

"Hey, did I see right?" Bastian asked with a surprised expression as if he had just seen a ghost. I just exhaled roughly, then immediately sat down in a chair that could spin. Despite that, he immediately poured my favorite whiskey into a small pretty glass, then set it in front of me as if he already knew that was what I wanted.

"You should have enjoyed your first night since you're newlyweds, but you came here instead!" Bastian spoke again with acute astonishment.

I ignored it and immediately drank the glass of whiskey until nothing was left. Crazy indeed. I know that by drinking this fast, I can get drunk even faster.

"And I was also a bit surprised to see the news that was on the internet. The news said that you married Daisy, not Irina..that doesn't match your wedding invitation," said Bastian again, making me sick and thinking that maybe many people are wondering about what happened behind my wedding today.

"Is there any problem?" asked Bastian.

I lowered my head, resting my hands on the table. "She ran away... I have to marry Daisy so the wedding preparations won't be in vain and I won't be ashamed of everyone who already came!" I said could not hide the annoyance in my heart. "This was beyond my expectations….if I had known this would happen, I would never have done such lavish wedding preparations. In the end, I had to marry that innocent girl, She was so annoying, she couldn't even give me the first night!"

"Oh..." Bastian was silent with his mouth slightly open as if surprised by my explanation. He glanced around, then sat across from me and looked at me very seriously. "How did it happen? Irina left you when you two were almost married Even though she knew that leaving you would only cause trouble for her family?"

"I don't know, she ran away. With her boyfriend," I said angrily.

"She's crazy, she's not afraid of your power!"

"She will suffer after this. I'll make sure of that," I said, imagining Irina who might be enjoying her company with Ferdinand. My eyes are empty, imagining what I got as a result of her actions today. "Maybe now I'll just let her be happy with that damn man, but one day I'll make sure that she regrets leaving me!"

"Oh my God, this is a bit complicated..." Bastian frowned, kept staring at me, making me immediately look away. ."Now that you've already married Daisy... But you still hold grudges against Irina… Then what is your life goal now? Are you going to divorce Daisy and then go back to Irina?" he wondered.

"I don't know, I can't think straight right now." I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm still pissed... I wanted to have some entertainment tonight, but Daisy pisses me off even more!"

"Actually What makes her unable to serve you?" asked Bastian.

"She's in period!" I replied curtly.

"Ha! Hahahaha....!" Bastian even laughed out loud, making me glance at him even more annoyed. Does he think this is funny? I guess he's part of the people laughing at my fate today!

"Oh, my God! Hahahaa...!" Bastian kept laughing until he tried to calm down by sighing. "This is ridiculous. A Richard Marx Willis has been having bad luck all day, and I don't think you'll ever forget it!"

"Never..." I shook my head.

"But I thought, maybe Daisy is better than Irina," said Bastian, stroking his chin which had no beard at all. "There's nothing good about her. She's just an innocent girl who never even smiles at me!" I said.

"Hey hey hey..." Bastian poured another whiskey into my glass. "She never smiles at you maybe because she is too scared. You should be gentle with her….maybe this is the first time she's faced a guy like you... She's very introverted, much different from Irina."

I froze, remembering Daisy saying she'd never even been in a room with a man, never even had sex.

"I thought she was still a virgin," said Bastian, interrupting my reverie. I immediately looked at him. "She's still a virgin," I said.

"Well... That is something special she has for you!" Bastian said enthusiastically, then leaned towards me and whispered, "You can get something you've never gotten before. You get a virgin girl... Maybe you've never felt it before. That's cool... you will feel a new sensation that will make you like her!"

I frowned, glancing at Bastian. "New sensation?"

"Yeah..." Bastian nodded his head with a faint smile. "I've had virgin girls before...when I got her, I always wanted to fuck her. It's not just a cramped taste, but something different. I can't explain... It was such an amazing thing!"

"Is it true?"

"Yeah….you have to give her a beautiful first moment," exclaimed Bastian, as if forgetting that I didn't love Daisy. "I hate her, I don't want to make her happy or let alone give her beautiful moments!" I said.

"Oh, man..." Bastian distanced himself from me and looked at me in frustration. I didn't understand what he meant, all I could think about was resentment and wanting to make Irina and her family suffer.

"You know I married her because I had to, and now I have a grudge against her family. So I don't want to make her happy," I said.

Bastian shook his head and said, "but that doesn't mean you have to always make her cry. You can do revenge other than by making her suffer... She's just an innocent girl who doesn't even know anything about your business with her father or Irina. she didn't do you any harm, she didn't hurt you... Are you going to hurt someone completely innocent? I know you are quite stubborn, you are very dominant and selfish, but still, do everything for the right reasons. You can't hurt a woman who never even hurt you!"

I was silent, understanding what Bastian said was true.

"You can't stay stuck in a grudge that makes you unable to enjoy your life, unable to enjoy the treasure that is clearly in front of your eyes!" said Bastian, I immediately glanced at him. "What do you mean Treasure?" I ask.

"Daisy is a treasure for you," he said.

I smiled faintly. "The innocent girl who always wears big glasses and braids her hair, you call a treasure? She won't turn me on at all unless she takes her shirt off. I need a girl who makes me always want her just by looking at her in an instant, not having to take off her clothes!" I emphasized, not wanting my defenses to break just because Daisy was a virgin.

"But she's still a virgin, you can rarely get a virgin girl like her!" Bastian said firmly, I see his face is more serious now. "She's not just a virgin in terms of sexuality, but in behavior, appearance, and much more. .maybe you will find it difficult to change Irina, to make her love you, but maybe it will be very easy for you to change Daisy because she is like plain paper… You can engrave something beautiful on plain paper instead of having to erase bad ink on other paper… It was a comparison between Irina and Daisy. I hope you understand!" he continued, then stood back up as a new customer arrived.

I'm back to drinking whiskey.

"Think about what I said!" Bastian exclaimed, making me glance at him immediately. "An innocent girl is not always bad..."

I remained silent, thinking about what I should do after this. .maybe there's a point in me having to enjoy Daisy, but that would be hard because she always pisses me off. I didn't like seeing her cry, showing a sad expression, as if she wasn't really sincere in Irina's place. and Irina's behavior always casts a shadow over me, making me feel like I have to hate her and make her miserable. This is giving me a headache, and I need something to forget today's events... I need a sedative!