Chapter 1: Back Again

I wonder. I always knew as a 12 year old kid that my life would go down hill if I kept my habits like I did, but I never tried to change them. I never wanted to change my habits. I always told myself, "Hey me! Enjoy the now and suffer later. It's not like we can live like this forever." And for that reasoning, I made a failure of a man.

Now here is present day. Inside my apartment is my sick mother. Not much is in my apartment. I can't afford to spend on myself, or my mom's medical bills. Luckily, my brother and older sister is helping me out and mom. I can't depend on them all the time, so I need to go job searching again.

I applied for some jobs beforehand, so I got myself tidied up and head out to the city of Pastville with a smile on my face. I started to stroll on the sidewalk talking to myself inside my head.

"I feel like shit."

"I don't like my life as it is right now. Always searching for my jobs, having to depend on others while the others have their own life to work on. I can't help my sick mother with her illness."

"I feel useless, am I just a burden?"

Stopping at the crosswalk, I realized something. I always wished life to be easier, but that was the wrong way to think. I always avoided the hard things in life. I think everyone does, because it feels addicting to escape. All my problems gone, but in the back of my mind I know it's just going to add to my shoulders.

The light turns red, and I see a car coming by, so I stop. Then I saw a kid that kept walking, unaware of his surroundings. I don't know why I ran after him. I try to push him out of the way, so the kid doesn't get hit. I was never a fast runner or a slow one. I couldn't reach the kid, but somehow I got in front of the car and both of us got sent flying.

Where was I, is the ground above me?

I crashed into the floor, and I can barely see.

It hurts, and I see red. I turn my head over, and I couldn't see clearly. But by hearing the faint yelling's, The kid's head was smashed in.

I can't think straight, I can't see the sky and I can't feel the ground. I felt like I was slipping.

Is this how I die? I can't leave like this. I don't want my family to cry again. I don't want to see their lives ruined again.

I regret the things I've done, and I could never fix them. But still, I wish that it wouldn't end like this.

...

It's all dark now. Where am I? Everywhere was dark, but I could see my hands clearly like it was being shined upon. I looked around to see if there was anything, and like I thought, nothing was here.

But then, I heard drops of water. I turned quickly and a figure was standing there that wasn't there before. It slowly started walking to me. As I took a closer look, it looked hazy. I couldn't tell what it was. It had a size of a toddler.

It came up to me, and it spoke with a young voice. 'Are you ok, Mister?'

I decided to reply.

"Yeah, I'm alright."

'Why do you lie?'

I slightly froze at its words. I responded with a question.

"What do you mean?"

'You always lie about how you feel'

I stood silent.

'You want to seem like you can withstand anything, like some people, but I can see your true self.'

'You're like a reflection of a broken mirror, you can't see yourself.'

'The line between real and fake is merged inside of you.'

I know. I wasn't even angry at this being for saying that, because even I could tell I wasn't able to differentiate between my real and fake emotions.

But I wanted to ask another question.

"How do you know how I feel?"

The person looked at me with his hazy face, and I think I could feel a slight smile from it.

He replied,

'Because I am you.'

"What?"

'I am the last pieces of your true self.'

This was confusing me now.

'You might be confused, but deep down, you are regretful of your actions.'

'That's why...'

He slowly started raising his hand towards me.

'You can have a chance to restart'

What does he mean by restarting? I felt like my heart was shaking, some part of me was pulling me in.

'But once you shake my hand, I can't come with you. No matter how much I wish to be apart of you again, you must find me again.'

I couldn't tell what I was feeling, but my hand was slowly reaching out for my other's grasp. Now by then, I understood what he meant by restart. I grabbed my other's hand and my other self smiled behind the hazy face.

'Goodbye. Try to find me again. Try to find your heart again.'

Then I woke up.