The Abyss

I don't know how many days have passed since I was cast into the Abyss. There is no light, no sound—only the oppressive, all-consuming darkness. The air is thick, suffocating, as if the Abyss itself is trying to crush my spirit. I walk, but each step feels like it leads nowhere, the terrain indistinguishable in the pitch blackness. The silence is maddening, my own thoughts echoing loudly in my mind.

As I wander through the void, alone, memories of my family flood back to me, each one a painful reminder of what I've lost. I see my sister, her bright smile and gentle eyes. She was only fourteen, beautiful with silk-like hair and emerald-green eyes that sparkled with kindness. Her laughter was a melody that could brighten the darkest days.

Then, my thoughts turn to Taqian and Saqian, my younger siblings. They were six years old, identical twins with dark hair and boundless energy. They were always getting into trouble, their mischievous grins and infectious laughter filling our home with life. They were a handful, but their love and innocence were a source of constant joy.

I remember my father next. He was a farmer, a simple man, but wise beyond his years. His body was well-built, muscles forged from years of hard work, his hands bruised and calloused. His tan skin bore the marks of countless days spent under the sun. He was more than just my father; he was my mentor, my guide, my hero. I recall the days spent working alongside him in the fields, his strong hands guiding mine, his voice a steady presence in my life.

A vivid memory surfaces, one of a day in the fields. The sun was blazing, and we were harvesting the crops. I was complaining about the heat, the work, and my father just laughed. "Hard work never killed anyone, Su. It builds character," he said, handing me a water skin. I remember feeling frustrated, but his laughter, his unwavering spirit, always pulled me through.

As I relive these memories, a dark realization dawns on me. My father's death—it was my fault. If I had been stronger, if I had been more capable, I could have saved him. I could have protected my family. The weight of this realization crushes me, and I fall to my knees in the darkness.

I start laughing, a hysterical, broken sound that echoes in the emptiness. Tears stream down my face, hot and bitter. "It's all my fault," I whisper to the void. "I was weak, fucking weak. I couldn't save them." My laughter turns into sobs, my body shaking with the force of my emotions. "I'm worthless," I mutter, my voice trembling. "I deserve this. I deserve to be here, in this abyss."

I begin to sabotage myself, clawing at my own skin, pulling at my hair. The physical pain is a distraction, a way to drown out the overwhelming guilt and despair. "It's all because of me, it's all because of me," I scream into the darkness, my voice hoarse. "I couldn't save anyone. I stole my father's future..."

I speak to myself, my voice echoing back at me in the silence. "Why did you die, Father?" I ask the darkness, my voice breaking. "I fucking hate you, why would you leave us? What about the twins? Hana? What about me?" But the Abyss offers no answers, only the suffocating, unrelenting darkness and the terrifying silence.

I sink deeper into my despair, the memories of my family now a torment. "I should have been stronger," I whisper, my voice barely audible. "I should have died instead of him." My mind spirals into a dark, twisted place, where every thought is a knife, cutting deeper into my psyche.

I felt myself breaking, the line between reality and madness blurring. I punched at the air, at myself, trying to silence the torment. Each blow sent waves of pain through me, but it wasn't enough to drown out the voice.

"Stop fucking blaming others for your weakness. Father is dead because of you! Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die," the words were a thunderous roar in my mind to my own self, echoing endlessly. "You do not fucking deserve to live. Just end this already. Set us free."

I fell to the ground, exhausted and defeated. The Abyss seemed to close in around me, the darkness tightening its grip. My body, ravaged by days without food or water, was frail and emaciated. My lips were cracked and bleeding, my throat parched and raw. My muscles ached from constant strain, and my skin was covered in bruises and cuts from stumbling through the unseen terrain. The last of my strength was slipping away, my will crumbling under the relentless assault. Every breath was a struggle, a desperate gasp in the suffocating void. The pain in my stomach was a gnawing, relentless hunger, and my head throbbed with dehydration and exhaustion. As I lay there, my body trembling and broken, the Abyss felt like it was swallowing me whole, dragging me deeper into its merciless embrace.

But even in this moment of utter despair, I knew deep down, I hadn't yet unveiled the true horrors of the Abyss.