20. A different Lincoln(1)

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After such a long time, I finally bring you guys a new chapter of Requiem for a Loud. To make it up for you a little bit for this long hiatus, I bring you now the longest chapter so far, with a lot of things to say. So take your time, read a little bit each day instead of reading it all at once and you'll see how easier it will be to wait for the next update, lol.

First of all, my apologies to those of you who didn't enjoy the April Fool's prank. I found it phenomenally hilarious, I'm sorry that you didn't share my sense of humor, and I'm also sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything, it wasn't my intention at all. Those who stopped following my story and hate me for it, I understand. Maybe someday you'll return. Or not.

The worst thing is that just after the joke chapter came this big "hiatus". Thanks a lot for the patience for those who had it. Thanks also for all the support messages I received in my Tumblr ("UnderratedHero" just like in here, and where I've been super active these past weeks). I'd also like to thank all 83 people (I counted and read every single one of them, yes) that sent me private messages in the meantime. For those few who were asking worried if I was alive/sick/with problems, thanks for your worry (next time check my Tumblr and you'll find out about update progress and my health). And to the rest (the most part) that sent me hate messages, telling me to "update the fucking fic", that I should "at least say something" (I have a Tumblr for that and explained multiple times what I was going through), asking why I dropped the story (?), telling me that I betrayed them by taking this long (?) and that I don't deserve so many fans if I'm gonna be an irresponsible jerk (?), thank you, too. I mean, if you take it this hard just for two months (with two One-Shots in the meantime, mind you), then I guess that means you like this story, right?

Listen, I'm studying a really time-consuming career (architecture), I have a half-time job that I need to keep in order to BARELY live, I'm doing commissions so I can have a couple of extra bucks that I really need, and I went through a lot of difficult situations. Even in this catastrophic scenario, it never crossed my mind the idea of canceling Requiem for a Loud. I wish I could update every Friday, I really do, nothing would make me happier, but unfortunately, I can't. It takes time for me to write, and time is something I'm really short of.

Oh, just a small thing: I used a poem in Spanish for this chapter, and I couldn't find one in English so good as this one, so I'll post the original and the translation. This always happens the other way around in the Spanish version.

This chapter is the first one of the final act. The first act of the fanfic was about Lincoln deciding what to do, and it ended with "Lincoln's blue period Part II" and Adrien's letter. The second act was about Lincoln and (most of) his loved ones. It started in "Operation Farewell" with Ronnie Anne and we went through Luan, Lynn, Luna, Lynn Sr, Lucy, Lana, and Lola. This is the beginning of the final act. This chapter is designed to show you the current situation now that the whole family knows about Lincoln. It's long and crowded with scenes, so really, take your time to read it, don't rush it.

I'm not gonna say how many chapters are left because… well, let's just say that there might be a surprise coming up and an additional chapter may be included. I will only say that I can count the chapters left with a single hand.

DISCLAIMER: The Loud House, its characters and everything regarding the show is not my property (yet), it belongs to Nickelodeon and its rightful owners. Although, after "No such luck" and "Fool's Paradise" I wish I'd own it!

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Chapter 20: A different Lincoln.

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Lincoln wasn't the best student in his class. He had troubles paying attention to boring or banal subjects, and he was easily distracted. He couldn't stand it when teachers just spoke and spoke without ever stopping. History classes, for example, were extremely hard for him to go through. He needed creative environments, activities where he could show his impressive imagination, to elaborate his ideas, to demonstrate that he was such a clever kid. That's why, every once in a while, he found things that stimulated his imagination and that motivated him to work. Sometimes there were projects where he had the chance to show all his ingenuity, like that time when he and Clyde had to come up with a business idea. And sometimes they were simple things, little details that caught his attention and wouldn't leave his mind.

For example, one time they were studying Mark Twain in his English classes. He loved everything related to fiction, whether it was comics, movies, series, animation, video games and, of course, novels. He found Mark Twain's style to be pleasant to read. It was funny and not as difficult to understand as other stuff they had to read. There were some parts he didn't understand, but nothing that a quick talk with Lisa couldn't resolve.

What he remembered the most about Mark Twain, however, was a quote his teacher had read them: "Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day". The idea of eating a live frog was repulsive and disgusting enough to be remembered by Lincoln. He could still remember Ms. Johnson's explanation about doing the hardest things or the things you least wanted to do as soon as possible, so you could then focus on the things you do like and stop worrying about those other things you don't.

As he gently stroked Lola and Lana's backs, with them snuggled up against him, crying their last tears their small bodies could produce, Lincoln realized that he had eaten the equivalent to ten live frogs in the first hours of his morning.

After finally grasping the situation, his sister's reactions were just as he had imagined them to be. Just as painful. Just as terrible. The pain he felt inside his chest was beyond simple sadness or a little depression. It was an actual, physical pain, like all the muscles surrounding his rib cage were numb, like someone was sitting and bouncing on his chest, doing everything in their power to make sure that breathing was not an easy or comfortable task for Lincoln.

The sunny morning didn't last long. The clear sky Royal Woods had dawned with was hidden now behind thick clouds, announcing an incoming rain.

"Guys..."

It was difficult to determine if they turned around to see him worried about what he had to say or if they did it because they were surprised by the incredible and spectacular way his voice had failed him, sounding like the last bit of air coming out of a deflated balloon. If it was for the latter, they certainly didn't find anything funny about it.

He gathered up all his courage, he cleared his throat and embraced them tighter. Closer to his chest, trying to show them that he was there for them, that he would protect them, to reassure them. It was, however, a task comparable to stop the rain with one's own hands.

"Let's go home", he finally told them.

He patiently waited for an answer that didn't come. For eleven years he'd learned to be a good brother. He had learned to organize his sisters, to manage them, even manipulate them given the case. Eleven years of experience in resolving family disputes that were now suddenly useless given the situation. Lincoln Loud's ability with words was legendary, he was capable of convincing someone to buy him sand in a dessert, but his creative capacity was severely atrophied. The sight of his two little sisters demolished by the news that Lincoln himself had troubles accepting was too much, even for him.

After the silence became an obvious sign of pain and knowing himself incapable of pronouncing the right words, he decided to simply stand up. His leg muscles were numb after carrying the weight of his little sisters for such a long time. It was hard for him to stand up, but when he finally did he was surprised to see that his sisters did as well. They were holding his hands almost possessively, the way they would hold on to their most precious possession, not willing to let it go.

He squeezed their hands and started to walk.

The long streets became interminable at the slow pace they were walking at. People passing by turned around to look at them, and Lincoln imagined that they were certainly hard to be overlooked. Three minors, with their faces red and swollen eyes after crying so much, walking slowly down the streets, one of them with a ripped dress and stained with mud. If Lola could take a look at herself in a mirror she would definitely start a tantrum.

Or maybe she wouldn't care anymore.

That had definitely been the worst possible way to start the day and the week for Lincoln. His morning had been a living hell. But even if everything around him was bursting in flames and his heart was aching with the unfortunately familiar sensation of abandonment and futility, Lincoln found himself repeating a single relieved thought inside his head:

No more secrets.

"A week?"

Lola wouldn't look at him in the eye. Her gaze was lost in the tiles that were slowly passing by under her feet.

"Only… one week?"

Lincoln squeezed her hand once again.

"One week", he softly confirmed.

There wasn't any breeze, but he could still feel them shivering.

"So…"

"...we only have until next Monday?" Finished Lana.

A simple question, a known answer, but with as many possible ramifications and consequences as the movement of a knight in a game of chess.

"I don't… I don't know. It's hard to tell."

"More than a week, then?"

"I, uh... No, I don't think so."

"L-Less than a w-week?" Let out the little mechanic.

Mark Twain's frog wouldn't let itself be swallowed that easily.

"Listen, guys, I, uh… It's impossible to know. No one can give us an exact date. It might be a week, it might be more, it… it might be less."

His phalanxes were trapped in a desperate and desolate grip, and he regretted having said anything. Those little hearts couldn't handle so much pain.

"Why?!" Asked Lola, wiping her face with her now ruined gloves, once light pink. "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"Because I didn't want to see you guys like this. I wanted to keep seeing you happy. I'm… I'm sorry, I knew it would hurt you, and I-"

"Now we don't have any time!" Complained Lana as they kept walking, her face buried on the side of Lincoln's polo shirt. "All these days I was playing with Charles and making mud castles and repairing Vanzilla instead of being with you!"

"I went to my beauty pageants!" Added Lola, her voice one octave higher than usual. "I left you alone in the house while I was having fun! And now… now we don't have time!"

"Why didn't you think about that?" Asked Lana. "Why didn't you tell us anything? Why did you let us waste our time?"

He knew that sooner or later this was bound to happen. That they would complain about being left in the dark. He knew that this would happen because they were little girls and because he had taken a questionable decision. But even so…

"Do you think this is easy for me?"

The girls complain died before those words.

"Don't you think that this is the only thing I can think of every second of the day? That during nights I have troubles sleeping? I'm also… I'm also sad. I'm furious. I'm scared. I know this isn't easy for you… But you know what? It's not easy for me neither! It's not easy, and I'm doing what little I can to make the best out of this! So excuse me for doing what I thought was best, but I just couldn't-!"

The renewed sobs stopped him. His sisters were still walking next to him, but their eyes were now closed, covered by their free palms, over which they were crying one more time. Lincoln had a lot of things to say. So many things that he had kept inside him, so many conflicts that he had ignored, facts he didn't dare mention, that he wasn't ready to accept. His body and mind were screaming that he couldn't keep hiding those feelings anymore, that he couldn't ignore his fears any longer.

Lana and Lola, however, didn't deserve to listen to all of it, they didn't deserve this. He shouldn't make them feel worse. If he was devastated, he couldn't imagine how they were feeling right now.

He stopped walking, knelt on the sidewalk and embraced them tight, gently stroking their hair.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he told them. "I'm just… really anxious, and nervous, and… I shouldn't have spoken like that. It's not your fault. I'm sorry."

They tried to answer him, but it was impossible for them to let out any coherent word. Their brother hugged them a little more and then gave each one of them a kiss on their foreheads before standing up and stroking their cheeks. To see them so hurt was shattering his heart.

"I promise you these days will be the best ones ever. I'm not gonna leave you guys alone, I'll be with you. With all of you. I swear. We'll have a great time, we'll laugh, we'll play, and I… and… and I'll show you just how much I love you. Because you guys are my favorite twins in the world."

He would've kept talking since the had a lot to say, but seeing how emotional they were and how even beautiful words about them seemed to take them to their limit, he decided to stop right there. Realizing they needed to go on, he grabbed their hands once again and practically dragged them all the streets left to their house.

When they reached their driveway they were immediately received by Charle's happy barks. The dog ran excited around them and started to walk between Lincoln's legs, his loyal master, his best friend. But when he realized Lincoln wasn't paying him attention —he couldn't, given that his hands were trapped in his little sister's grip—, he instead went with Lana. He immediately realized she wasn't in the mood to play with him neither, so he tried to at least lick her tears away, but she paid no mind. Confused, he looked at Lincoln.

"Not now, buddy. Maybe later."

Charles let out a hurt bark before running to the backyard, probably trying to play with Cliff. The three Louds, meanwhile, reached the door. Freeing his right hand from Lola —who quickly hugged his waist—, Lincoln took his keys from his pocket and opened the door. The murmurs he was hearing were abruptly cut short, even before they actually stepped inside. When he closed the door behind him, he turned around, still embraced by his little sisters.

Lori, Luna, and Luan were staring at them from the couch. Lori's phone was resting unattended on the coffee table, far from her reach. Luna had her headphones hanging from her neck and her phone in her hand, as she bit her lower lip and stared at them. Luan, sitting on the floor and hugging her knees, could barely find the strength to look in their direction. The sound of footsteps and a baby trying to pronounce her brother's name made him look upstairs. Leni was carrying Lily in her arms, and they were the only two smiling at them. Lynn —standing next to Leni and trying to hide the ice pack on her knuckles— was also trying to smile, but she couldn't. Lucy was nowhere to be seen, and Lisa seemed to be in her room.

It didn't feel like he had just entered the Loud house. Somewhat scared, he asked himself if maybe this was the new Loud family.

"Did you all know?"

Everyone's eyes turned to Lana. She was looking at them with her lower lip trembling, still holding Lincoln's hand. She was scrutinizing them all with her look, waiting for someone to dare answer her.

Lynn and Leni started to slowly walk downstairs.

"That's why you've been acting so weird, isn't it?" Lola kept going where her twin had left. "You all knew… but no one told us? You let us treat him bad this whole week? You let us ignore him and you didn't even…? How could you?"

"Oh, give us a break", said Lynn, standing in front of Lola and looking at her with real anger. "Can you really blame us?"

"Chill out, dude", Luna tried to stop her, standing up.

"Do you think we're not totally broken with all of this?" Continued the athlete, though. "Do you think this week has been somewhere near easy for us? You don't… You have no idea how hard it is for me to fall asleep at night. Don't you think you're the only one tha-!"

"Lynn."

The freckled-face girl turned around to look at Leni. She had gently rested a hand on her shoulder, but what stopped the rough girl was her older sister's serene face. A face that conveyed the tiniest bit of disappointment, but mostly understanding. A face they could all expect from their father, a serene attitude that Lori might be able to imitate. To see such… maturity in Leni was, at least, surprising.

"What Lynn is trying to say", said Lori, walking closer to Lincoln and the twins, "is that Lincoln asked us to keep it a secret. And, guys… Now that you know that… that he… now that you know, if Lincoln asked you to do anything… wouldn't you say yes, no matter what it is?"

Lola and Lana looked away from her. They had nothing to argue with, no come back to those words. Their complaints died in that same instant. Lincoln decided to speak again.

"I wasn't ready to tell you. I even think that if Luna, Luan, and Lynn hadn't go to the hospital on their on I wouldn't have told them anything neither. I-I didn't want you to know, because..." Lincoln had thought that he had run out of deep emotions for the rest of the day after that morning, but he had clearly done the wrong math. "Because I didn't want to see you sad. And because I didn't have the, uh, the… I don't know, the strength to tell you the truth. I don't know if I did the right or the wrong thing, but I know I hurt you all by doing that. I hurt some of you for lying, and I hurt the rest for making you lie. And I… I just… I just want to say that I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

The first ones to jump on him and give him a hug were the twins. Lynn was burying her face in his chest little after that, and before he knew, all of them were hugging him. He even felt some new arms locking themselves around his waist, and he wondered where Lucy had been hiding this whole time.

He closed his eyes and let himself dwell in the nice sensation of a group hug. The last time he had had one it had been last Sunday at the hospital, before finding out about his condition. That time, it had been a hug full of relief. It was hard to understand what was the underlying message of this hug, though. Was it union? Support? Grieve? He tried to read it, to understand what was he was feeling while being wrapped in his sister's arms like that. He focused and looked into his heart to see what he could find.

He didn't know what it was, but even if it hurt a little, it felt like it was the right thing.

"What are you gonna do today, bro?" Asked Luna several minutes later.

"I don't know", answered Lincoln. "There are many things I'd like to do. I'll probably go to Clyde's house later, but I want to be with you guys as much as possible. With all of you, now that… well, now that you all know."

"What do you want to do?" Asked Lana, cleaning her nose on her own sleeves.

"Anything. Whatever you want."

"A board game!"

They all broke the group hug to look at Leni. The girl, who was still holding little Lily in her arms, was looking at them back with a big, sincere smile… like she was actually happy. That wasn't the case with some of the other girls. Lori, Lola, Lana, and Luan were looking at her like they were thinking the best way to subtly tell her to shut her mouth and remain in silence for what was left of the day. They couldn't believe she could say such a stupid thing, so out of place. They didn't understand how she could smile in a situation like this.

Lincoln, however, had a different opinion. A board game, a regular activity. Something they could all play and have fun with, something with which they could laugh, and have a good time. He urgently needed something normal in his life.

"That's an excellent idea, Leni", he said, surprising most of them and making Leni extremely happy. "What do you wanna play?"

They all exchanged confused looks.

"Eh… Monopoly, maybe?" Suggested Lynn.

"No, we broke it the last time we fought when Luan bought so many hotels."

"What about Clue?" Asked Luna.

"Lola broke it in half when Leni accused her of killing herself with six gunshots on her head", said Lucy.

"What… What about Life?" Asked Lola, trying her best to keep herself from crying again.

Lincoln looked at the rest of his sisters, waiting for someone to say that the board had been destroyed after someone landed on a "Revenge" square and made someone else go ten steps back, but since no one said anything he assumed the game was in conditions.

"That sounds fantastic, Lola", he softly said, kneeling down to be closer to her and Lana. "Listen, while we get everything ready in the living room, why don't you guys go take a nice, warm shower and get some clean clothes?"

It was obvious that they both needed a nice set of clothes and to clean themselves up after having been playing in the park, but Lincoln also wanted them to relax a little. And if he had learned anything in his eleven years of life, it was that there was nothing like a warm shower to relax the body and mind.

The girls, however, looked at each other and then at their brother. Their eyes were focused on him, and they didn't seem to be willing to go.

"I'll be right here when you're done", Lincoln assured them, guessing what they were thinking. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise you. I'll wait for you and I'll save you a spot next to me, alright?"

He smiled at them and playfully bumped their noses. That gesture never failed to make them laugh, and even though they didn't start cracking up, a thin smile was plastered on their faces. They gave him one last hug before slowly walking up the stairs, heading to their room and then the bathroom.

"I'll go to the attic to get the game," said Lori.

"I'll go with you", whispered Lucy. Lori put a hand on the little goth girl's back, gently stroking it, and Lincoln saw with interest and a little pain how the both of them walked upstairs, with Lucy resting her head against Lori's waist. The poor kid was obviously still affected, there was no doubt.

"We should bring some cushions to sit on the floor", said Luna. "I can grab some from my room, but I'm gonna need some extra muscles to bring the beanbag. Lynn, d'you mind helping me, luv?"

"I, uh… Yeah, sure."

She gave one last look at Lincoln and then went to Luna's room along with her rocker sister.

"I'll make popcorn and some snacks", said Luan trying her best to smile. "I'd prepare some Mexican food, but I had some issues with it in the past that I don't want to TACO 'bout! I mean, it's NACHO business! Hahaha, get it?"

Leni and Lincoln started to laugh after the joke ended, and even Lily clapped her tiny hands as she babbled. Luan went to the kitchen with a sincere and big smile on her face. Leni was about to head to the stairs, probably trying to come up with some way to help with the preparations, but Lincoln grabbed her by the elbow and stopped her.

"Hey, Leni?"

"Yeah, Linky?"

"Thanks", he told her from the bottom of his heart. "Really, thank you."

She didn't say anything. She just leaned closer and gave him a quick kiss on his forehead.

"You're welcome", she answered back, smiling at him with a tenderness and happiness that only she was capable of transmitting.

She finally walked away, and Lincoln decided that the least he could do was to accommodate the couch so everyone would have space to sit. As he went there, his phone started vibrating again. He checked and noticed he had over forty-two new messages and two lost phone calls. All of them from friends and schoolmates. He looked at his phone with some guilt, but he immediately put it in airplane mode.

This morning was just for him and his sisters.

"Nine, yes!" Celebrated Lincoln after spinning the little wheel.

Several cries of celebration were heard, along with the sound of Luna playfully smacking her forehead with her palm in a fake gesture of irritation. Lana also began a nervous laugh as she sat on Lincoln's lap, grabbing her cap with her tiny hands, pulling it down with all her strength like she was trying to hide under it.

The game was just one turn away from finishing. Most of the girls were already out, losing after too many debts or by quitting after realizing they didn't have any chances of winning. The only three that still had chances to win were Lincoln, Lana, and Luna. The two girls had already finished and were retired as "Millionaires", and they were waiting for Lincoln to do it too so they could count the money and see who would win.

"Lincoln! Lincoln! Lincoln!" The rest of the girls cheered, laughing and supporting their brother as he moved his token nine squares. He was now two away from reaching the end.

"What does the box says?" Said Luna, imitating the rhythm of a song that not so long ago became really popular.

Lincoln moved Lana's head aside so he could read, making the little girl laugh in the process.

"It says: Oil prices go up to the sky. If you have stockings, retire $500.000.000!"

Both Luna and Lana covered their faces with their hands, Luna letting herself fall back to the ground as the rest of the girls were screaming in pure happiness, making fun of the sisters that had just basically lost. They all started congratulating Lincoln, although they still needed to make the final count.

Lincoln took his turn again, getting a six, reaching the end line at last and declaring himself as the third and last millionaire of the game.

"Very well, let's make the count", Lori said, having acted as the official banker and the one in charge of making sure that no one tried to cheat.

"Lincoln, can you help me?" Asked Lana, turning around to look at her brother.

"Sure! Lola, would you count my money as I help Lana with hers?"

He had to look over his shoulder since he was sitting on a cushion and Lola was standing right behind him, practically supporting her whole weight on his back, her arms wrapped around her older brother's neck. She hadn't said much throughout the game. She had been right behind him, hugging him, laughing at some of his jokes and, every once in a while and when everyone else seemed distracted, she gave him quick pecks on his cheek.

She didn't answer Lincoln's question, not with words at least. She nodded and with gritted teeth she had to let go of her embrace on her brother to extend her hand and accept the fake money he gave her. In the meantime, Lincoln taught Lana how to count with numbers so big, teaching her how to add a hundred millions and explaining the concept of a billion.

When Luna, Lola, Lana, and Lincoln finished counting their respective fortunes and compared them it turned out, to everyone's joy, that Lincoln had won the game by a small margin over Lana. Everyone, even those who had been close to winning, celebrated Lincoln's victory. And as he found himself surrounded by the applause, the cheers and the happy jokes that his sisters made, the boy could only think that this was life. This was how it was supposed to be. To be surrounded by the ones he loved the most, having a good time, having fun without thinking about what was inevitably going to happen sooner than later.

Click!

The digital sound and the muffled sob made them turn around. Peeking out her head from the doorway that connected the main bedroom with the living room, Rita Loud was staring at the screen of her phone with the saddest smile Lincoln had even seen in his life. Actually, everything about his mother seemed to be sadder and sadder with each passing day. It was hard for him to see her in that spiraling depression. Up until just a week ago, his mother had been a woman who worried about keeping her figure, to look beautiful at all times. Always with her hair combed, always well dressed, always with some kind of makeup on.

That memory had nothing to do with the unkempt Rita he was looking at, with those heavy eye bags, her hair going in multiple directions at once, and the solitary tear that fell over her cheek as she stared at the picture she had just taken.

"K-Kids, I… I..."

Whatever it was that she tried to say, she couldn't finish it. She barely had the strength to go right back to her room before breaking down in front of ten of her eleven children.

The pleasant and cheerful atmosphere the board game had helped create was abruptly forgotten. Lily, playing with some of the pieces left from the game, seemed to be the only one that wasn't deeply affected by Rita's interjection. The rest of them had lost any kind of smile, happiness or cheerfulness that they might have gotten back shortly before. Some of them, like Leni, Luna, and Lucy were staring at the carpet, not daring to look anywhere else. Others, like Luan and Lynn, were hugging their knees against their chests, trying to give themselves some kind of comfort. The twins wrapped their arms around Lincoln once again.

He didn't know what to do. His mother… He spent a couple of hours with her every day, writing his memories in that novel they were both working on. And even though they had to stop several times on each session because of her crying, Lincoln felt like he had no real idea of just how much pain she was going through. If the idea of losing their brother was so terrible for all his sisters, he couldn't imagine the way his mother was suffering from having to cope with the imminent death of a son.

"Excuse me", he said, trying to stand up.

"Don't leave", asked Lana, refusing to abandon his lap.

"Lincoln..." Lola painfully said.

"I'm not leaving", he patiently told them. "I just need to talk with mom."

"I can do it for you if you want", Lori offered, sounding extremely anguished.

Lincoln shook his head, using his physical advantage to stand up despite the twin's efforts.

"I promise I'll be with you a lot, I'll spend so, so, so much time with you, more than ever", he assured them, "but mom needs me too. And she needs me now."

Not even those words were enough to convince them. Luna and Lynn had to intervene and hug Lola and Lana respectively so they would let Lincoln go. He tried not to look behind him as he went to the bedroom, for he knew that if he looked back to his sister's hurt faces, he might decide to stand there with them, trying to comfort them all.

When he should be comforting his mom.

When he opened up the bedroom's door he saw that the lights were off, the curtains were almost completely closed and the TV was unplugged. Lincoln flinched his nose when he smelled the humidity in the room. He had never been inside a dungeon, but right now he could make an educated guess of how it would feel to be in one. The only signs of life in that room were the thin rays of light that got through the slits of the shutter and Rita's muffled cries that escaped through the pillow covering her face.

Lincoln's morning had been really, really complicated. Even though his whole week had been a roller coaster of strong emotions, the last few days were particularly dreary. Ronnie Anne, Luan, Lynn, Luna, his father, Lucy, the twins… He was overwhelmed by the pain, he was reaching his limit. He was in a fragile emotional state and seeing his mother crying was definitely not helping him at all. Seeing his sisters cry, seeing his friends cry, that was one thing. One kind of pain. But there was something supernaturally heartrending about listening to his mother crying. It was a completely different empathy, he felt the pain in a completely different way, more traumatically, like he still had his umbilical cord connecting him to his mother, and her pain was also his.

He didn't say anything. He didn't ask for permission to get in like he'd been taught throughout the years. He dodged all the used tissues on the floor, got on the bed and before his mother could even turn around to look at him, he hugged her. He felt like a little kid once again, embracing his mother, listening and feeling her heartbeats. And, truth be told, a part of him liked feeling so… protected.

After the initial surprise, Rita quickly hugged him back, holding him tight against her. Her bawling increased its intensity. Her hands went to his hair, his back, his arms, rubbing them, trying to feel him close, to comfort him. Her chest was spasming at the rhythm of her crying, the bereaved mourning of a mother, the song of a shattered heart.

He whispered words of love. He told her that he loved her, over and over again. He pleaded her not to be sad, that he would always love her, that that's the only thing that mattered. That she had been… no, that she was the best mother ever.

"Lincoln… Honey… You're the most… the most wonderful kid in the world", she said, doing an enormous effort to modulate her words. "I can't believe… How could we…? How come we didn't see it? Why didn't we realize something was wrong, why didn't we take you to the doctor? Why di-?"

"No!" Lincoln complained, holding her tighter and shaking his head no with the little mobility his mother's embrace allowed him. "Don't do that, mom! Please! Don't… Don't say that! It's nobody's fault, and it's definitely not your fault!"

"Lincoln-"

"The doctor t-that took my case said that… that I was a special case. He told me that no doctor could have seen it coming. Mom, if doctors couldn't know, how could you? It's… it's not your fault. Please, I don't want you to blame yourself for this. It's not… It's not fair! It's not fair..."

Rita wouldn't listen to reason. Each word her son said, no matter how right or comforting it was, was only pushing the knife deeper into her heart. Lincoln felt utterly powerless, completely useless. He tried to make her feel better. To relieve a bit of her sorrow, somehow. A part of him was telling him that he should probably go about it the same way he had done with Luna, allowing her mother to let go of all the pain she was feeling inside, to let her express her inner desolation. For a week, she had to conceal her feelings to protect her daughters from the truth. She couldn't keep it in any longer, and a part of Lincoln wanted to simply lie next to her, embrace her and be there for her as she let it hurt.

But even though he felt like there was no way he could do it, what Lincoln really needed was to make her stop crying. That's the only thing he wanted. Hearing her cry was just too painful.

"Can we write another chapter of the book?" He suddenly asked, looking up to look at his mother in the eye.

He could see the reflection of his own face on his mother's watery eyes.

"Wr… Write…?" Rita tried to say as she continued stroking his hair.

"I just remembered something and I want to write it down", he said, almost pleading. "Can we? Please?"

And then Lincoln did the most despicable thing he remembered ever doing: he put on his puppy face, the one he always used when he needed to ask for a favor to one of his sisters or his parents. A look that he knew his mother couldn't resist. Given the circumstances, it was the most effective way of manipulation he could come up with.

"What do you want to write?" Asked his mother, standing up, resolved to fulfill any wish her only son might have.

He wasn't proud of himself, but Lincoln would've done anything to distract her and keep her from crying anymore. Even if that only was a temporal solution. Even if it didn't mean anything in the long run. The urgent need overwhelmed anything else.

"I want to write about the day I found out my mom was much more than a dentist", he said. "The day I realized that spending a day with her could be just as fun as going to Dad's work. I want… I want to write about how much fun I had that day."

If his plan was to keep her from crying, he wasn't doing a great job.

Lunch came with quite a few surprises in the Loud house.

The first one of them was the announcement that Lynn, assisted by Lori and with Lincoln's unconditional support —even though he remained in his parent's room until shortly before the actual lunch— would be the one cooking for everyone. Most of the girls didn't know what to think about it. Lucy and Lori seemed to be the only ones that understood the true motives that led the family's athlete to prepare lunch for thirteen people.

That was surprise number two: Lynn Sr's arrival minutes before the food was served. They all knew that Mr. Loud worked from Mondays to Saturdays and that he didn't get home until well into the afternoon when the Sun initiated its downfall. He always had lunch at the office, so they were all surprised when he knocked the door. Apparently, he decided to use his lunch break to drive all the way home and spend some time with his family. It was Luan the one that, somewhat worried, asked him if he wouldn't get in trouble if he got late after his break, considering the distance from his work to the house.

"I couldn't care less about that", was his determined answer.

Surprise number three was the decision of setting up the "big table" in the dining room. Almost every day, the family was divided into the grown up table and the kiddie table, but there was also the possibility of bringing the table extension from the basement and set up a bigger table where all thirteen Louds and even an eventual visit might sit all together. Due to organization and space issues, the big table was only used for special occasions, like whenever some of the kids won a new trophy for their case, when there were important announcements to be made or for someone's birthday, which were distributed throughout the year so there was one birthday every month to celebrate. The big table was, therefore, a synonym of happiness, celebration.

When Lincoln sat down on his chair and looked at both sides, he realized that was the dreariest big table he had ever been part of.

Leni and Lily, who was sitting next to him playing with her spoon, were the only ones smiling. Lynn's smile lasted a few minutes after she finished serving the food she had cooked and after Lincoln told her it looked fantastic, but then the general atmosphere of sadness embraced her too. The meal wasn't as good as one of their father's, but it was delicious regardless, and Lincoln enjoyed it. It hurt him to see that the rest of the family was barely eating it. They looked at the food and they moved it with their forks, but they ate just a little piece every once in a while.

And the silence, dear God, the damn silence. Where were all the crossed conversations? The complaints about the noise? Where was all the yelling for someone to pass the salt, loud screams that were repeated non-stop until someone got annoyed enough to grab the salt shaker and tossed it to them? Where were the food fights, their father's scolding for those to stop immediately? What about all the gossips the older sisters shared, the songs his younger sisters sang?

Where was the family he knew?

Leni and their father's attempt to start conversations were not particularly prolific. Lincoln answered whenever they asked him about the show he had watched last night, or when they were interested in knowing if had any plans of going to Clyde's house later that afternoon. But when the questions were more general, aimed at the whole table, not even his mother seemed interested in answering. And Lincoln was so tired, so exhausted… he didn't have the energy to try to cheer them all up.

He had reached a point where he could not longer do that.

Suddenly, someone put the knife on the plate, and the sound of metal hitting porcelain made everyone turn around. Lucy had both hands on her lap and was staring at the floor. She had barely touched her food. Everyone stopped eating and stared in silence as she slowly looked up.

Her bangs were covering her eyes, as always, but the thin trail of tears couldn't be disguised.

"I have something to say."

When most of the table gasped in surprise, Lincoln was remembered that no one else had heard her the day before at the junkyard, when she had talked to him with her real voice, the voice of a scared eight years old girl. The only one who didn't seem surprised was Lynn, and Lincoln could only guess what both sisters had been through the night before in the safety and privacy of their room.

"Lincoln… He didn't..."

She stopped for a second to wipe her eyes with one of her stripped sleeves.

"He didn't clog the toilet last month", she admitted, wrinkling her dress when her fingers closed themselves around the fabric of her lap. "It was… it was me. I was reading Princess Pony in the bathroom, I clogged the toilet."

Lincoln also left his knife on his plate, looking at his little sister with his jaw dropped open. His face was surely showing just as much surprise as everyone else's. What was Lucy doing?

"Everyone blamed him and… and he tried to find out who was behind it. I-I didn't want you to know that it had been me b-because I knew you w-would make fun of me… And he… And he took the blame for me. And it wasn't fair! He didn't do anything, and I…! I let…!"

Luna, sitting next to her, put an arm around her shoulders and dragged their chairs closer together.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry...", Lucy whispered and repeated, damping her older sister's shirt.

"Lucy… You don't have to apologize", Lincoln said, speaking softly. "I did that because I wanted to and because you weren't ready yet to admit it. I'd do it again."

"You're… too kind", she let out between her sobs, "too kind for this world..."

"It's our fault", said Lori then, frowning down at her plate. "We laughed at him. We would've laughed at Lucy. That whole… incident was our fault."

"It was a silliness", Lincoln quickly said, fearing the way that conversation might end if he didn't cut it short. "It was nobody's fault, it's perfectly normal to laugh at-"

"You always forgive us, even when we don't deserve it", Lynn said, her face filled with guilt. "I turned everyone against you when I said you were bad luck, and you still forgave us all. I'm a terrible sister."

"I made everyone believe I was bad luck!"

"I acted like a jerk too", grieved Luan. "Always doing pranks, sometimes hurting everyone… Lincoln had to spend two days in bed after out last April Fools… And I got so jealous when he became my assistant and everyone loved him more… I never… I never meant to hurt him."

"You didn't, I-"

"He always takes the worst part", said Lana. "He had to spend our last vacations doing favors for all of us, he couldn't even enjoy them."

"Yeah, and all because we wouldn't agree on where to go to our vacations", added Luna. "He gave us the chance to choose between Aloha Beach and Dairy Land, and we messed up. We fought, we couldn't just choose one."

"If it wasn't for him, we would all be still complaining about our roommates", said Lola, hugging her twin sister. "Linky… Linky's the one that always keeps us together… and now..."

When they all started to sob, Lincoln ended up wishing for the big table to be again in that terrible silence.

The last time he had been facing that door, it had taken him almost ten minutes to gather the courage to ring the bell. This time he had his moment of doubt, too, having to take a couple of seconds to think about his words. Even so, he was quick to press the button, soon hearing the digital melody of the doorbell ringing inside the house. He heard a few steps getting closer and he took a deep breath, just as the entry door was opened.

"Oh my God, Lincoln! Harold, Harold, come here, Lincoln's at the door!"

Answering his husband's call, Harold McBride and his blue sweater quickly got to the entry door.

"Lincoln!" Said the robust man, getting closer and lifting the boy up almost a feet in the air on a soft embrace.

"Good afternoon, Mister McBride", greeted Lincoln, being now hugged by Howard.

"Oh, Lincoln, why didn't you let us know you were coming? We would've prepared you lunch!" Howard lamented.

"Don't worry, I already ate at my house… kinda", said Lincoln, trying to keep the bitter memory of the big table out of his tone.

"Then we'll get you some dessert!" Quickly said Harold, dashing to the kitchen.

Without giving him any time to answer, object, thank or even think about what to say, Howard grabbed Lincoln by his arm and guided him straight to the living room, sitting him in front of the coffee table. He started to get everything ready, moving some of the decorations and architecture magazines on the spotless table and fixing some of the sofa cushions.

"Excuse the mess, Lincoln, we weren't expecting visits."

"Don't worry, Mr. McB", said Lincoln, sitting on the sofa and taking off his backpack.

Howard saw that.

"Oh, let me take it to the storage to-"

"No!" Lincoln interrupted him, hugging the backpack tight against his chest. "I-I mean… Don't worry, just… It's just..."

Clyde's dad looked at him confused for a couple of seconds, but he quickly regained his serenity.

"You can have it here too, of course, that's not a problem", he softly said, looking intrigued at the backpack.

"Thank you… And, uh, shouldn't Clyde be home from school by now?" He asked, relaxing a bit and looking at the wall clock.

Howard looked in that direction too, and Lincoln could see the worry in his eyes.

"His classes were over a little over half an hour ago. He should be here already, but… he's… lately, he's taking his time to come back home."

Harold's arrival broke the awkward silence that was formed between the boy and his best friend's dad. Harold put a tray on the coffee table in front of Lincoln, and even though he had just had lunch he couldn't keep his mouth from drooling at the sight in front of him. Several portions of cake, recently baked cookies with chocolate chips, sweet doughs… It all looked delicious.

"Please, eat as much as you want", offered Harold, moving the tray closer to Lincoln before sitting beside his husband, "and if you stay hungry just let us know and we'll prepare you more."

"Wow, I, uh… Thanks a lot, Misters McBride."

They told him not to worry about it, and right then it would not only be rude to reject the food they had prepared, he was actually really excited to taste those cookies. Lincoln put his backpack aside and grabbed the first one. The fragrance of recently cooked doughs made him close his eyes. He loved all the food the McBrides cooked. It was always delicious.

As he ate the cookies and tried a little of the amazing cake they had prepared for him, he pretended not to notice the nervous looks Clyde's dads were interchanging between them and the whispering they tried to hide from him. He didn't know what they were talking about, but he could make an educated guess and say that it was somehow related to him.

He had the faint hope that they might not start a conversation about him.

"Lincoln?"

Dang it.

"Yes, Mister McB?" He asked, taking the last mouthful of the cake and leaving the empty plate on the table.

"We… I…"

Howard looked at Harold, his lips trembling and his defenses threatening to give in already. Harold put a hand on his couple's back and reassuringly rubbed it.

"Lincoln, we know you're not… going through an easy time", he started, his deep voice filled with emotion, in a whisper that was trying really hard to relax Lincoln, to let him know that he was in a safe space. "And we don't want to cause you any additional trouble. We don't want to make this even harder for you."

A small part of Lincoln, the most exhausted and desperate part of him, the one part he was trying so hard to conceal, tempted him to let out "and yet..."

"But since you're here… We just wanted to thank you."

Lincoln suddenly stopped chewing. He was waiting for compassion words. Impotence words. He was waiting for them to tell him that it was all really unfair, that he didn't deserve it, that his family didn't deserve it. He was waiting for some words of encouragement, to be told that he could count on them for anything he might need. But that they'd be thanking him? That wasn't really in his considerations.

"Thank me? Why's that for?" He asked after finally swallowing what was left of the cake.

"For everything", Howard answered, finally finding the strengths he needed to talk. "Lincoln, you don't have an idea of just how much you've done for our family. You don't realize all that you've helped us with, what you've done for us. We never… we never told you, because this is not the kind of things you usually find yourself with the chance of saying. We always have time to ask, to be mad at someone, even to laugh or to have fun, but one rarely takes the time to be thankful. And we don't… we don't want to pass the chance to thank you."

To say that Lincoln was dumbfounded was a severe underestimation.

"You've always been there for Clyde", said Harold. "He was always an insecure boy, with troubles to take the initiative, you know? He always had difficulties to make friends… until he met you. In you, he finally found the friend he so desperately needed, and words will never be enough for us to thank you for that."

"I, uh..."

He didn't know what to say. His fingers were nervously drumming the sofa, as he tried to think of the right words he could use to answer to such… compliments.

"Thank you very much, but… I wasn't the perfect friend. I had a lot of fights with Clyde, over such silly things, and it was almost always my fault. And I… I also got him into a lot of troubles."

To his utter surprise, Howard let out a short-lived chuckle.

"Don't apologize for being a kid, Lincoln. That's how they are. That's how we all were. Don't you think that you were a bad influence on our son, because you couldn't be more wrong."

"You changed him, Lincoln", added Harold, looking at him with a serious look that seemed alien on the mellow, kind man. "You helped him feel more secure about himself, you helped him to not be ashamed of being who he is. You accepted him for who he is, and that… that is the most wonderful thing you can do for another person. To love them not for who they pretend to be or for who everyone expects them to be, but for who they truly are."

"That shows the kind of person you really are. Those little gestures speak for you. That's why… why you're such a wonderful little boy. And you didn't only act this way with Clyde."

To show their point, Howard and Harold grabbed each other's hand, both set of eyes fixed on Lincoln with an intensity that overwhelmed him, almost intimidating him.

"Never, not even a single time in all these years in which you've been a friend of Clyde's, not even in one of the dozens of times you've come to our home have you treated us any different. You never looked at us with a weird look, neither you went out of your way to be polite with us, afraid of offending us or anything. I don't think you understand how much that means to us."

"You accepted us for who we are, too", said Howard, fixing his red hair, "and Clyde has told us about how you've stepped up for us when other kids made fun of Clyde for his parents. That kind of support it's not something common, not even on the current times. The… the natural way you've treated us is… it's so t-touching, and I..."

Harold hugged his couple, reassuring him that it was going to be alright and letting him know the unconditional support he had for him.

"What Howie's trying to say", he continued, "is that having you along with us these years helped us realize that we can still dream of a world where we're not being segregated, where no one treats us like we're something different from what we are: two people that love each other a lot. In some way, you gave us our hope hack. And that kind of comprehension… that love… we'll never forget, Lincoln."

"You were like a brother for Clyde", said Howard, barely keeping himself from whimpering, "and… and y-you were like a son to us."

The words of the McBrides moved Lincoln on the inside. They had a powerful impact on him. He never had actually thought about it, but it was at that precise moment that he realized that the McBrides were definitely a second family for him. Always with the door open to receive him, willing to listen to him, to reassure him, to help him in each way possible. Lincoln had some aunts and uncles, but it was the McBrides whom he could really see as an extension of his family core.

He had never discriminated them or treated them any different. He couldn't understand those who did. He knew that some older people were born in times when people like Clyde's dads had the rough end of the deal, but he also knew a lot of kids his own age who did not seem to be as open as he was, and he simply couldn't understand them.

He couldn't see why some people made a fuss about the McBrides. They were two people in love, period. What was there to be judged?

He realized that, throughout these whole years, however, there was a gesture he never had with them. A gesture that they deserved just as much as any of his sisters or his own parents. Looking how sensible they were and after the beautiful words they had had for him, Lincoln stood up, walked until he was face to face with them both, and to the McBride's surprise, he hugged them.

The surprise was short lived, and soon enough Lincoln was tangled in an embrace as honest and sincere as any of the hugs he had shared with his sisters during this whole week.

When they finished the hug, Lincoln asked them if he could go and wait for Clyde in his room. The two man, profoundly touched by Lincoln's gesture, told him that of course, he could wait there. So, Lincoln delicately grabbed his backpack and went straight to his best friend's bedroom, the place he knew just as much as the palm of his hand. He remembered how just a little less than a week ago he had had to break the news for him. The boy hadn't taken the news in a good way, obviously. His spotless room ended up being a mess after the panic attack that had taken him to throw all his bookcases to the floor.

It looked now more tidy, yes, but it wasn't the same as always. Lincoln noticed it right away. On the cork board, where Clyde usually had his school schedule, reminders about his sessions with Dr. Lopez, that set of pictures of he and Lori that she had taken during that time when he had unknowingly been helping her get Bobby jealous, there was now a new set of things.

Pictures of Lincoln and Clyde. Tons of it. A copy of the school yearbook, with Clincoln McLoud as official members of the staff. His ticket from their first SMOOCH concert ever, the one they had gotten into with a little help from Luna. Dozens of the Ace Savvy drawings the two of them had made. Summaries of crazy comic book ideas, even their gigantic hand-written theories of how their favorite superhero could be adapted to the big screen in a live action movie.

Lincoln stood in front of the board for several minutes, mesmerized by it. Every picture, every drawing, every little thing hanging there had in it whole afternoons of fun. Years of friendship summarized in a big collage, a wall that, like Lincoln himself felt, could be used as a resume of his life.

His short life.

He didn't even hear when Clyde got home. He just saw it when his friend opened his bedroom door, yelled his name and ran to hug him.

"Oh, Lincoln, I was so worried! You didn't answer my messages!" He said, moving his arms back and forth on his friend's forearms as if to make sure that Lincoln was, in fact, there, and he wasn't seeing a ghost.

Lincoln felt suddenly guilty.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Clyde, I turned off my phone today and I… well, I forgot to turn it on later. I was just getting too many messages from the guys from school and I… I needed to be with my sisters."

Clyde painfully closed his eyes, softly nodding.

"Yeah, Ms. Johnson told everyone today. It was… it was awful."

"Honestly, I'd rather not know", Lincoln said in the middle of a sigh, before grabbing his backpack. "Hey, Clyde, there's something… I need to get this off the way as soon as I can. I… I have some stuff for you."

Without waiting for an invitation, he went to his friend's bed, moved some of his stuffed animals and sat upon there, opening his backpack and leaving it right beside him. Clyde quickly followed his lead, sitting next to him without saying a single word. After breathing in and convincing himself that this was the right thing to do —even though he had spent almost an hour locked in his room, staring at his mirror and getting ready for this—, Lincoln finally grabbed the first item from the backpack, making it tinkle with the movement.

"L-Lincoln?"

"Clyde...", he said, holding the book with both hands, staring at it with nostalgia for several seconds before extending his arms, inviting his friend to take it, "this is my coin collection."

Clyde's eyes were the only part of his body that was moving, taking turns between staring at the book and Lincoln's face. He was breathing hard, like he was getting ready to dive into the pool from the twenty feet springboard. It almost looked like he didn't understand what was going on. But Lincoln knew him very well, and he knew that Clyde understood the situation.

"I have all the denominations of sixty-seven countries, including the complete collection of North America, South America, Mexico, Western Europe, Russia, Japan, China, South Korea and Australia. I have started the page of another fifty-five countries. I still have a long way to go, but this is one of Royal Wood's most important coin collections. I've been working on this for over three years. And you helped me do this. Every summer, when you were traveling to other countries with your parents, you would always bring me as many coins as you could. And that's why… That's why I want you to have it."

He softly shook the book so Clyde would grab it, making the coins tinkle once again, like a heavy rattle. After Lincoln's insistence, Clyde had no other option but to accept the gift his best friend was giving him, taking his small legacy as a coin collector and holding it tight against his chest, like he would never be separated from it.

Before he could actually say anything, Lincoln took another bag from inside his backpack. Clyde gasped after recognizing what it was.

"I d-didn't… I didn't bring my whole collection because… I don't know… I have a small hope that Lily might grow up to like them", said Lincoln, opening the bag and grabbing the first comic on the pile. "But I brought the comics I own that I know you're missing to complete some arcs. I-I have the sixth issue of the Zodiac Saga, I have Ace Savvy volume four issue forty-five, where we find out the true identity of Aegis, the crossover between Ace Savvy and the universe of Dragon Fall X..."

"Lincoln, I… I can't… I can't accept this", Clyde complained, furiously shaking his head. "I can't… I can't..."

"Come on, Clyde, just take them", Lincoln pleaded him, putting issue forty-five once again inside the bag and handing it to him. "They're not gonna be of any use if they're in a bag in my room! This way… At least I'll know they're helping you to complete your collection. They're gonna be useful. Please… just take them."

"Buddy..."

Carefully, Clyde left the coin collection aside and, with religious admiration, accepted the comics. His fingers were shaking as he touched the bag with the care and softness he would use to caress a newborn baby. Clyde's glasses always made his eyes look bigger, working like a magnifying glass. And with his eyes zoomed like that, Lincoln could see almost to the detail the tears that were starting to appear on the corner of his best friend's eyes. He could see how Clyde was struggling with a lot of courage and effort to keep them from falling down his cheeks.

The easiest thing for Clyde would've been to cry, to let go of all the sadness he was feeling right then, but he was doing a big effort to be strong, and not for himself. He wasn't trying to fake a strength he didn't have, he wasn't afraid of showing himself as weak in front of his best friend. Clyde was being strong for Lincoln. Because he knew, or at least he intuited Lincoln's emotional exhaustion. He didn't want to be yet another burden for him, so he swallowed up all his pain, all the anguish and sadness he felt. He had to do it for his best friend.

A lot of people made fun out of Clyde because he couldn't stand horror movies like The Harvester, but right then, Lincoln saw Clyde as the bravest person he knew.

"I'll treasure this for the rest of my life", said Clyde with the faintest voice. "I'll put them in especial plastic bags to protect them. I'll take care of them."

"And I also brought my copy of Super Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighters XXIV", Lincoln said, turning around to open his backpack again, taking more time than he needed to take out the video-game, giving Clyde the opportunity to wipe the tears away from his eyes before looking at him again. "This one… I can't give it to you, some of my sisters use it every once in a while and I… Anyway, I'm gonna teach you all the final moves for every character, even the secret ones."

Once he grabbed the video-game, he threw the backpack to the floor and resolutely stood up.

"There are some that are really hard to do, and there are some others that you need to perform a series of tasks to be able to do them, like getting three critical strikes or not blocking even once."

He started to talk, really excited, walking in circles and trying, by all means, to make his enthusiasm to show on his voice given the excitement and joy the game, apparently, made him feel.

"Lincoln?"

"You'll see, Clyde, by the time I'm done teaching you all my secret combos you're gonna be able to win everyone", Lincoln continued, ignoring Clyde. "My forty-six victories in a row record against Rusty will become yours, believe me."

"Lincoln..."

"N-No, I mean, really, I'll teach you everything I know. There's this secret level at the Tower of Challenges that you can unlock if you win two fights in a row using your character's signature move four times each round, and-"

"Lincoln."

He couldn't keep ignoring Clyde when he stood up and stopped him by putting an arm on his shoulder. He let out all the air he was keeping inside his lungs.

"Lincoln… do you want to talk?" Asked a worried Clyde.

Dang it, Lincoln thought. Clyde knew him too well. He could read him like an open book.

"No", he softly answered, his voice suddenly losing all his excitement.

"Are you sure?" His friend insisted. "Look, just… you know you can cou-"

"Clyde", he interrupted, looking away. Maybe his friend had the strength and courage to keep himself together, but Lincoln was running out of either. "Please, don't… I don't need to talk."

He closed his eyes. It was all getting harder and harder.

"It's been a week now, and all I do with everyone is to talk about it. I don't wanna do it. I… I need to play", he said, feeling his legs starting to tremble. "Just play. Please, can we just have fun?"

He didn't see Clyde's reaction, but the long silence that followed his statement spoke louder than words.

"I'll get the console ready", the host of the house said. "Go there when… when you're ready."

Clyde went to the living room, leaving Lincoln standing alone in the middle of an empty room for several minutes until he finally could go to play with his best friend.

He had to go to the bathroom to wash his face first.

Lincoln's lengthened shadow was guiding him on his way back home as he walked by the driveway, softly kicking a little rock with each step.

After five incredible hours, he had been able to teach Clyde how to do every single final move, all the secret combos, how to unlock the bonus levels and the best strategies for each character. It had started as a lesson, with Lincoln demonstrating and explaining all the theory behind his knowledge of the game while Clyde took notes in a piece of paper. Luckily, after the first forty-five minutes, they relaxed a bit. The next hours were much more fun. They laughed, they joked, they insulted the console when it beat them in a double fight and they even cried from laughter when a bug after a final move moved Muscle Fish's head to his armpit. All of this while eating the seemingly endless supplies of homemade cookies that Clyde's dads handed to them. During those hours, Lincoln was a normal kid once again, finally having some fun with one of his friends.

On his way back home, however, he started to feel miserable again. And that made him feel like a piece of trash. He shouldn't be walking slowly just to delay the time he would have to get inside his own home. He shouldn't be feeling like he was going to a hostile place. He shouldn't feel like he was getting closer and closer to a place where he would only be reminded of all the pain he had inside him. For God's sake, that very same morning they all had fun playing Life, and he had had an awesome time. This week had been awful for him, but it had also given him the chance to share good bonding moments with his sisters. Moments of a true fraternal union, when he was able to get to know them better than ever before.

He remembered bunking with Luan, with Lynn, with Luna. The deep talks they had shared. He remembered Leni and Lori's hugs. To have Lana sitting on his lap and Lola hugging him from behind. By the time he got home, he somehow had managed to barely lift his spirits up, just enough so he could fake a convincing smile as he got inside the house.

Surprisingly enough, the house seemed to be actually louder than these last few days. It wasn't the usual chaos in which he had grown up, but after a week living in a house that almost sounded like a regular home, the noise was oddly comforting.

The low level was pretty much empty, though. The dining room was empty, the kitchen lights were off, and there was only one person in the living room, where the TV was on with the volume high up. Luan was sitting on the couch and had her computer on her lap. She looked really focused on what she was seeing on the screen. She seemed to be pretty much alright, but her dropped shoulders, her swollen eyes and the box of tissues on the floor were enough to help Lincoln realize that she was not okay.

Ever since that Thursday night when they had had that deep talk, Luan had been one of the sisters with which Lincoln spent the most time with. Unfortunately, and making him feel slightly guilty, most of the time they had together could hardly be considered quality time between them. They weren't playing, they weren't having fun. One of his more ambitious final projects —that had one of the top spots on his objective lists— could only be completed with Luan's help, and every day they dedicated at least one hour to make some progress on it. He knew that he wouldn't be alive to see the end of the project, but that was not the point. All he needed to do was leave enough material for Luan to work with, so she could be the one to finish it.

His sister, of course, was helping him with pleasure. She tried to conceal how painful it was for her to be a part of such an important thing, his last goodbye, but he knew he had her full support. Still, Lincoln couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. She wasn't his assistant. She was his sister.

"Hey, Luan", he greeted her as he walked into the living room.

Only when she didn't turn around to look at him did Lincoln realize that she had her small headphones. Taking advantage of the invisibility his sister's headphones granted him —a small trick he had learned in his years of sneaking around his sisters— he went behind the sofa. He wanted to know what Luan was watching.

Of course, he should have known that it was homemade videos. Judging by the few seconds he saw, it was a recording from his last birthday, his eleventh birthday. He saw when he had blown the candles, seconds before Lynn grabbed him by his nape and buried his face on the cake, to everyone's amusement.

Luan started to chuckle.

"That wasn't hygienic at all", said Lincoln from behind her, removing her headphones from one of her ears.

She quickly closed her computer and turned around to look at him, evidently happy to see him again, but extremely nervous for being caught up like that.

"Lincoln! I-I didn't hear you coming", she said, quickly rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Are you busy?" Asked Lincoln, jumping the back of the sofa to fall heavily next to his sister.

Luna put her computer on the coffee table.

"No, no, I was just… So, uh, do you want to continue with…?" She looked right and left to make sure that no one else was in the living room with them. "...the project?"

"Actually", he said with a smile, "I was thinking that maybe we could go to the kitchen to practice with your pies. I think I have just the right idea to improve the cream's consistency."

Her open eyes, her stillness, and her teeth made her look like a hare on a route, petrified by the light of an incoming car.

"Really?" She asked, somewhat confused. "Don't you wanna do something more… a little more…?"

"I don't think there's anything that would make me happier right now than cooking with my beautiful big sister while she makes me laugh with her amazing jokes", he interrupted her, smiling the whole time.

His phrase went dangerously close to the tenderness limit she could support without breaking down. Fortunately, Luan's reaction was to stand up, lifting him from his armpits, squeeze him against her and grab his hand as she guided him to the kitchen.

"To be honest, cooking is not my thing, but I'm pretty happy with the way my pies turn out, Linc", she joyfully said, sounding more like the Luan he loved. "I've been perfecting this recipe for years now."

"Pl-ease, Luan, you're talking with the King of Souffle."

"We'll see about that."

"Hey, I always wanted to know, who started with the pie to the face gag?"

Luan stopped dead in her tracks and gave Lincoln an intense look, with an arched eyebrow and a big smile on her face.

"Oooh, Lincoln, you do NOT want to ask me about comedy history", she warned him.

Lincoln imitated his sister's expression.

"Actually, I do", he confidently answered.

Luan let out a surprised chuckle.

"Man, you don't know what you just got yourself into, Linc!"

As he was dragged into the kitchen, Lincoln smiled to himself. He was very aware of what he'd gotten himself into.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"I don't feel comfortable with this."

"Come on, I know you all wanted to be on the other side at least once."

"Well… yeah, but..."

"Don't worry, Lincoln, I do this everyday."

"If… if you say so..."

Lincoln prepared his arm. He calculated the distance. He thought about the force he needed to apply. Finally, after making sure that he couldn't really hurt her, he breathed in and threw the pie right into Luan's face.

The sound of cream impacting against her face, crushing and splattering in all directions was magnificent. It seemed like a sound effect out of a cartoon movie. Luan flinched backward with the impact and took both hands to her face, grabbing the base of the pie and taking it away. Lincoln couldn't stop himself from bursting into a hysterical laughter after seeing his sister's face completely covered in cream. As she used her fingers to wipe her eyes clean, Luan started to laugh too.

"Amazing! You were right, Lincoln, this cream is much better. It makes the hit a lot softer and it splatters everywhere, this is a lot more visual", she explained with a smile, looking at the kitchen's floor tiles covered in cream.

Lincoln got closer and took a little of the cream on her face with his fingers before tasting it.

"And it tastes really good too", he said, feeling proud of his recipe.

Surprising him, Luan took advantage of the closeness between them two to give him a quick kiss on his cheek, covering half his face with cream in the process.

"Luan!" He complained, although he couldn't repress a smile on his face, especially when she started to laugh. "Don't do that."

His complaining only made Luan laugh even harder. He went to the sink to wash his face clean. As he was there, splashing some water on his face, he saw through the window a figure sitting in the backyard. He stared at her for a couple of seconds before closing the water and turn around to look at Luan.

"This was really funny", he told her, handing her the same towel he used to dry his face off.

Luan noticed Lincoln's tone of voice and she understood that their time together was about to end, and her smile gave in a little.

"Yes. It was", she simply said, accepting the towel. "Thank you."

Because she had the towel against her face, she missed the moment when Lincoln wrapped his arms around her waist. She was taken by surprise, and she could barely return the gesture before he drew away.

"See ya later!" He told her, leaving to the backyard.

Once he was outside, Lincoln was received by the afternoon breeze, much colder than just a while back, before he got back to his house. The black clouds were still covering most of the sky. The cold, the clouds, the wind, everything seemed to indicate that Royal Woods was getting ready for a strong rain. None of that seemed to matter to Lynn. She was sitting against the tree, with her punching bad resting beside her. There were no signs of her gloves anywhere near her. Lincoln started to walk near her. She looked up after hearing footsteps approaching her, and the two of them exchanged a long stare. Lynn then looked elsewhere when Lincoln sat right next to her, his shoulder brushing hers as he slid down.

He was looking for the right words to start talking. He had already had the opportunity to talk with her in a long afternoon, to share a real bonding talk with his older sister. He assumed that repeating the same things he had told her wouldn't be of much use. Luckily for him, she spoke first, breaking the silence.

"Polly wanted me to tell you that… that she's really sorry. And that she never had the chance to tell you how much fun she had with you that night at the Sadie Hawkings dance", she said, letting out a small chuckle, although it didn't feel like she was saying something funny. It felt like a laugh drowned by her feelings. "She says she had never found a boy that could keep up with her stamina."

"I guess I was trained by the best", Lincoln said, making her smile. "So… she knows."

"She, Margo, Emma and… and Francisco", she added, with a dreamy look in her eyes, "they all came to see me this afternoon", she said, and now her dreamy eyes adopted a dreary look. "Some found out at school… others when I told them that I'm taking a time off from all my teams."

"You left your teams?" Lincoln asked, slightly worried.

His sister looked at him with an angry expression.

"Of course I left them, you dummy", she told him.

She dissimulated her insult by stretching her arms and putting her hand over her brother's, gently stroking it with a tenderness unusual on her.

"At least for now. They consume a lot of time from me", she explained. "Besides, I don't want to… I don't wanna lose control again..."

Lincoln squeezed Lynn's hand and she let out a groan of pain. Surprised, he realized that she was barely moving her wrist. His mind filled in the blanks.

"Lynn, can I ask you a favor?" He asked, absolutely serious.

"Anything", she quickly answered, turning her head around to see him.

Lincoln moved so he was now kneeling right in front of his sister, still holding her hand.

"You're hurting yourself", he told her. "I saw you this morning with ice on your wrist, and I remember the wristband you had to use last week. Lynn, please, stop hurting yourself. Don't- Hey, look at me. Look at me."

Risking being punched in the face by her, Lincoln put a hand under her chin and made her, with a soft, gentle push, focus her eyes on his own. He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Lynn, promise me that you won't keep doing this."

"Lincoln..."

"I don't want you to overdo yourself, to get you hurt. Don't, please. It… it really makes me sad."

Lynn started to have difficulties breathing, trying her hardest to contain her crying.

"An injured wrist hurts less than… this", she confessed in a whisper, with a hand pressed against her chest.

"Lynn… you're not alone. I know you never were the most… open girl when it comes to sharing your feelings, but this… well, this is some heavy stuff", he told her, trying to find the right words. "You don't have to be the tough girl. Nobody can always be strong. I'm still here, you can still come to see me whenever you feel bad, and… and when you can't, you'll have nine other sisters with which you'll be able to… talk, or just be with them."

Lynn released him and used her hands to cover her eyes.

She was silent, but Lincoln had no doubts of what was going on behind her hands. He leaned against her and hugged her, letting her let on her feelings. To cry all her worries out. Lincoln, better than nobody else, knew what keeping your emotions bottled up inside you could cause. That's why he made sure that his sister, unlike him, could count with someone to rely on. Someone to share the pain with.

He hugged her for ten more minutes as she cried in silence. He didn't say anything, he just embraced her. They've been through a similar thing a few days ago, so there was nothing to be added. Not for Lincoln, at least.

"I'm s-sorry", Lynn said.

"I forgive you."

She let out a bitter laugh.

"You don't even what I was apologizing for."

"That wouldn't have changed my answer."

She snuggled against him even more.

"God… this is what really pisses me off", she said, not caring about the language she was using in front of her little brother. "Always forgiving. Never getting angry."

"I'm not a Saint, Lynn", he said with a smile. "You know that as much as I do."

She didn't say anything else. She remained in silence, a somewhat uncomfortable silence that Lincoln was quick to interpret.

"What did you want to apologize for?" He asked.

Lynn sighed.

"Everything. So many things… So many times I hit you… So many pranks I pulled on you… All the times I got mad at you for no reason… Lincoln, seriously, I'm really sorry. What I did to you that time… with the bad luck stuff..."

"You already told me you were sorry and I forgave you for it. That was months ago, haven't you get over it yet?"

"I thought I had… I thought it was okay, but it's not", she painfully admitted. "I know you've told me that you forgive me… and… and I believe you when you say it. But the fact that you can forgive me so easily makes me feel even worse. Besides..."

"What?" Asked Lincoln after a prolonged silence.

Lynn once again looked right into Lincoln's eyes. Her red eyes, slightly swollen, were now looking at him with renewed emotion.

"Every time I felt bad about it... I always told myself that I w-would... that some day I would repay you... That some day I would start treating you better. Every time I made fun of you or forced you to play with me I'd think 'Next time I'll treat him better, another day it'll be'. And... and for taking so long... "

She used her forearms to wipe the tears from her eyes, trying to get a good look at her brother.

"I never treated you well. I never told you this. B-But I want you to know: you're the best little brother in the world, and… and you didn't deserve a sister that would treat you like that."

It was now Lincoln who started to have an itch in his eyes. He blinked, gave her a wide smile and hugged her again. Lynn was incredibly stubborn, almost unbearably naive. She couldn't even forgive herself for things he had long forgive her since. She was blaming herself for things he understood about her, things he even loved about her. And most importantly, she had the crazy idea that he might believe that she didn't love him. She was afraid that he might think of her as a bad sister. When the truth was that, even with all her rough playing, her toughness and lack of touch, Lynn was as perfect for Lincoln as any other of his sisters.

"I would change absolutely nothing about you, Lynn", he told her, stroking her back. "I love you just the way you are. And the fact that you're telling me this right now is more than enough. We still have time to play, to have fun, and… well, to do sibling stuff. I'm free right now. What do you want to do?"