Cigarettes

Nikolai stuck the cigarette between his teeth. He cupped his left hand around the tip as he lit it, it was windy that day, windy and dark. If it wasn't so cold he'd have expected a thunderstorm; but the physics of a thunderstorm wouldn't work without at least some bursts of warm air. The sky was black though. He leaned against the cold brick wall and stared straight ahead. Although he remained standing this way for several minutes he didn't really see what unfolded in front of him. He couldn't remember a single thing he'd seen when he thought about it later. But he could remember the taste of the cigarette; it wasn't one from home, it was a cheap German kind that tasted like car tires. It tasted like Auschwitz looked. He smiled to himself. Auschwitz tastes like cigarettes, Germany tastes like cigars and Russia tastes like pipes. All of them kill you, eventually, he thought. 

Werner appeared around the corner of a building adjacent to the one Nikolai was standing by and Nikolai raised his hand in greeting. Werner hurried over to him. Nikolai could tell that Werner wanted to talk. He was deeply relieved. He hadn't been sure what it had been, but he'd noticed that Werner had been acting differently towards him. Had Werner become suspicious of him?

"Hallo." Werner said as he'd reached Nikolai. 

"Nachmittag, Werner." Nikolai answered. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face. When Werner had neared him he'd noticed that his young friend seemed incredibly excited. Even though they hadn't really talked in over a week Nikolai was sure that whatever Werner wanted to talk about had to do with Marie. Nikolai had been in love many times, his eye was trained to see such things. 

"Ich muss dir etwas sagen. (I have to tell you something)." Werner started. He was still panting but he kept talking. "I'm allowed to leave on the 24th to go to Marie's Grandfathers to celebrate Christmas dinner together with them!" Nikolai burst out laughing at Werner's words. "What, what is it, why are you laughing?" Werner asked confusedly.

"I knew it was about a girl!" Nikolai shouted triumphantly. "And please Werner, tell me all about it, but don't forget to breathe your face is as red as a tomato." Werner blushed even harder as Nikolai pointed it out. He was right, Werner was incredibly red in the face. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"Overjoyed." Nikolai said, ending the sentence with what Werner had wanted to say but had forgotten the words for. "I know, and I am happy for you. It's great that she invited you. That means she really likes you." Nikolai gave his best to keep the teasing tone out of his voice but he couldn't. It was absolutly hilarious for him to see Werner so ruffled. Though Nikolai was a good man at heart he'd always been a little bit sadistic, something his wife hated about him. 

"I hope she does. I like her a lot." Werner admitted. 

"I know." Nikolai answered. He smiled at Werner and put his hand on his arm. "Listen, I'm not sure why we've been kind of different the past week, but I wanted to ask you what was bothering you."

"Ehrlich gesagt (honestly)..." Werner was unsure if he should tell Nikolai the real reason, but he decided to. "I saw you execute the captured Russians and it just kind of freaked me out."

"You didn't think I could kill?" Nikolai asked empathetically. Werner nodded. "Just think of it this way, Werner. It's not me killing, it's the system. You and I are as much victims of it as anyone lined up against that wall. We're all fucked, to put it simply." He flipped the lid to the cigarette box open and fished another cigarette out. "Do you want one, Werner?" He asked, holding the packlet towards his friend. Werner shook his head. "We're all going to die, Werner. And I don't mean eventually, I mean in this war. I'm very sure of it." 

"We probably are." Werner agreed darkly. 

"Especially if we try to bust a polish doctor out of Auschwitz." Nikolai said with a laugh. Werner had to smile. Nikolai's laugh was contaigeous. Nikolai looked at his young friend and then back at the dark sky. And even though it was still a menacing black, it seemed less gloomy than before.