Chapter 1

It's a beautiful day outside in the forest, bird's are singing, flowers are blooming~ in days like this you'd expect kids to be outside playing ball or- playing tag or something like that

*BANG! BABABANG!*

WIPEOUT!

Not me however

"Fuck yeah! suck on your grandmamies saggy tits cause y'all are better at sucking then a vacuum cleaner!" a short adolescent boy says into a cheap microphone while a multitude of salty people started to curse him out

"Oh fuck off! y-you suck too!" a nasally voice shot back...a horrible comeback

the short boy only shook his head with mock sympathy (although he had a shit-eating grin on his face) "Ouch Oooh~ such an insult" he said with a mocking tone of voice

"Stop playing Rank then you sack of poorly package horseshit! tell your mom I said hi, SON!" he cackled into the mic as the game ended with the sweet music of victory

the boy snickered lightly under his breath as he took off his earphones. With a satisfied grin on his face he got up from his office swivel chair and cracked his back

"Finally I won! pushing through a losing streak and ending on a win is definitely the best feeling eveeer~" he mumbled to himself as he got out of his room, avoiding bits of dirty clothes on the ground

'I should really clean up my room...later after I drink my victory water! Water is healthy after all, stay hydrated' he advised...to no one, his years of watching YTubers and Streamers made him get a habit of talking to himself like he was being recorded.

He definitely will admit he has a few screw loose in his head but...ehhhh who cares, a therapist is too expensive even if it was just him getting a diagnosis. Using the informative website known as Google, he has self-diagnosed himself as a person that has ADHD

"Not recommended to do yourself" he countinued his thoughts outloud as he walked through the empty house and to the kitchen

"Looks like Mama ain't home yet, as usual~ what time is it anyway-" he squinted at the hanging clock...can't see shit, oh he forgot his glasses. so he decided to look out the window and saw that it was indeed almost evening as the sun was setting

"Guess I should make dinner, let's do an old fashion Spaget~" he hummed as he went to the sink. Doing the usual prep, filling a pot with water, getting the pasta, the tomato sauce etc etc...

a few minutes go by and Alex (Yayyyy name reveal) already had the water boiling. So! he went to open the can of tomato sauce using a knife. he slightly struggled in puncturing a hole into the top of the can "Man I should really- ask- mom to get a fucking. CAN OPENER"

Miraculously he managed to put a hole into the can...a big one as most of the sauce spilled unto the floor and all over his face "ACK- Ketchup in its lowest form just spunked all over me-"

Blinded by the tomato sauce he tried to find the rag that was near the stove...only to completely miss, knocking the boiling pot of water all over himself. Causing him to yelp from the scalding pain and taking a step back.

ONLY TO SLIP ON THE TOMATO SAUCE ON THE GRIN AND HITTING THE SIDE OF HIS SKULL AT SUCH AN ANGLE...he immediately passed out and died~

The End, That's all folks. go switch over to another Isekai novel...

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Oh hi you're still here? You want to know what happens next?! ... okay since you stayed-

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The only thing that Alex remembered was the scalding pain of boiling hot water on his arms and the sticky and viscous sensation of tomato sauce on his face. When he woke up, only to see leaves if a tree as sunlight went past them through the gaps

he was confused, he didn't remember falling asleep outside- or even going outside for that matter! a headache shot through the back of his skull as he groaned

"Ugh my head/Ugh my head" Wait a minute...who was that just groaning along with him- and why did they sound like they were a girls voice

Alex's eyes shot open as he turned his head to where the voice came from...only to see a rather attractive yet fammilier looking girl Infront of him

"Who the fuck are you Bitch-/ Who the fuck are you Dick-"