The Bodyguard

I woke up to a soft mumbling in my ear. "-guess I should control myself," I heard Ashton say as he rubbed his fingers through my hair. "You're irresistible and you don't even know it. Danny, whenever I'm with you, it feels like I'm right at home where I belong, to the point where I don't even know what to do. It sounds crazy, but I want to be closer to you than I already am. I'm not sure what else I can do to show my love for you. I love you so much that just telling you isn't enough anymore, but I'm not really sure how else to express it. I love you more than you'll ever know."

Laying there in Ashton's arms was like magic. I felt surrounded by his heart and engulfed by his soul....and his muscles. It was such a powerful feeling. Never once in my life had I ever really let all my inhibitions go and just given into the situation without any worries at all.

Snuggling in deeper, he pulled me in tighter to his chest. His peaceful, even breathing was steady in my ear. As exhausted as I was from last night, I should be sleeping right along with him, but I was afraid. A constant fear of mine was that if my eyes closed, this relationship would be gone. That this wonderful dream would end and I would awaken miserable and alone and sick once again under Vincenzo's thumb.

This vast future loomed ahead of us, there was graduation, college, career, marriage, family and more. Things I never would've thought about before, but now things that were pressing down on me like a big, heavy weight. It was stifling. 

Just what was my future with Ashton going to look like?

The problem for me was that he felt older, wiser and more mature to me. He was always in control of himself while I never really knew what to do with my own emotions. My mind just couldn't grasp the fact that someone like him would want someone like me. I was damaged goods, I knew that. Hell, it was pointed out to me enough.

When graduation came, would the anxiety I had wear off?

"Go to sleep," I mumbled feeling my embarrassment creeping up from his lovely words. On the inside, I felt like I was about to explode from how happy I was feeling just hearing how he spoke to me when he thought I wasn't listening. It was more full of love than when I was awake, and it hurt to realize that he probably holds back a log because he knows I don't really like blushing in public. 

"B-baby, you're still up?" He now sounded a bit panicked. 

"Yeah, when you started mumbling in my ear, I woke up," I said.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know that this probably isn't the first time you've spoken to me while I was sleeping."

"You could've told me."

"I didn't because you were saying cringy things."

"J-just pretend I didn't say it at all. I'll say it all again in a better way when you're fully awake-"

"Don't worry about it. It's cringey, but I still like it. Now, shut up and hold me tighter, I'm tired," I demanded. Immediately Ashton wrapped his naked upper body around mine and intertwined our legs. "Y-you don't have to hold back so much that you only become like this when I'm asleep."

"I'm usually like this, I just try tone it down so you can be comfortable. I really don't want to scare you off."

"This is comfortable too, so stop toning it down please."

"You're beautiful."

"I'm not a woman."

"I'm not comparing you to one, Lovebug. You're adorable, beautiful, handsome and charming. And you have this face and body that just screams that you want to be taken to bed and ravaged," he said. It wasn't the first time that I had heard something like that from him.

"You mean I look fuckable?" I asked.

"I'm sure Sam already told you this, but it's very true. Your body alone can make a straight man question himself. When we got together, I kept getting asked about how you look when you're naked and if you're really a guy. They even asked me if you were as slutty as you looked."

"Slutty?"

"I made them stop asking questions about you....but I can't deny that you can sometimes look really slutty and erotic without knowing that you do. I don't think you realize it."

"When does it happen?"

"When you think, when you smile, when you look sad or mad, when you give someone a nasty look. I guess it's basically all the time if I'm honest. You'd be surprised at the number of guys who want to try and play around with you."

"How many?"

"I can name ten off the top of my head. Apparently, no one approached you before because of Vincenzo." Ashton tightened his grip around me. 

"Actually that's not true. A few years ago, there was a guy who said he'll stop the bullying if I slept with him."

"Who?"

"Bryan McFly," I told him as he tightened his grip even more.

"Oh, he's one of the people who asked me about you. I'll keep that in mind baby. No one else will never know about it, and he'll never approach you again."

"I did reject him, Ash. I wasn't interested in something like that," I assured him hearing the edge in his voice. "I can prove it that I only want you."

"No, I don't want to try to incapacitate you after you let me have my fill of whatever I wanted, babe. Besides, sex is just an pleasant activity, it proves that your body is all mine, but I'd like it if I were always on your mind," Ashton relaxed his grip letting me breathe a little. 

"You are though, more than you think."

Ashton laced his fingers with mine and breathed in deeply. "Your hands are really small for a guy."

"What the hell? Is that a compliment?" I snapped trying to snatch my hand back but ultimately failed due to Ashton's grip strength. 

"Of course."

"Fuck off."

"Come on baby! Let me kiss you."

"No!"

"Ok, then let me spank it to your face."

"Go fuck yourself!"

"You're even cuter when you resist me as if you don't want it! Let me see your face," he begged in that tone he knew I couldn't help but respond too. "I'll do it quick if we're kissing. If I can't, at least let me smell you or show me a sexy face."

"Go back to sleep, you fucking weirdo," I groaned at his increasing demands. 

"Fine, forgive me baby. You're just so cute, even your voice is sexy," Ashton kissed the back of my neck gently. "I can't help myself sometimes."

I couldn't blame him for this. Ashton opened the floodgates for pleasure for me as well. We often enjoyed multiple rounds of hot steamy sex when we got the chance. The kind of sex that involved a lot of drooling, tears of pleasure and the nastiness I craved from him. But I was still sore from his extreme size and if I did anymore, I'd be bedridden. 

"Fine, I get it, but I still want to walk tomorrow."

"Hmmmmmm, I love you so much," Ashton kissed my cheek and pulled up the cover over both of us. "I'm going to cherish you more than anyone else."

"Was i a good kisser at first?" I asked out of the blue.

"No, but I probably would've been upset if you were." Ashton admitted.

"Where did you learn then?" I snapped remembering how he had attacked me with skill that one night. He was leading me like he had been doing it for years.

"Oh, remember that tutor I told you about?"

"Oh," shit! How could I forget about that? "Well, now I'm not sure what to say. Sorry for bringing it up."

"It's nothing, remember. Besides, I was trying something new on you when I kissed you. It was my first time actually kissing someone that didn't make me feel filthy." 

"Well, you're my first kiss," I pouted. Hopefully that would lift the mood as I still wasn't sure on what to say about such a dark topic.

"You only know the taste of my kisses, huh?" Ashton chuckled. 

"Ugh," I turned around so that we were lying face to face. "Shut up and fall asleep with me, ok? I'm still tired from what we did earlier. Tell your abnormal sex drive to calm itself."

"I can't help that I'm a young man and that you're exactly my type," Ashton moved his head forward to gently brush his lips against mine romantically. "I love you," he whispered just before I felt myself fall asleep.

"Love you too," I said in a hoarse tone, which made him chuckle, my voice being a telltale sign of me having been fucked and vocal during the act. I should think about not screaming so much.

This time I blushed, just before I fell asleep.

I dreamed that Ashton had come home, our own home, and we were getting ready for Christmas. The coffee was brewing, fresh baked cinnamon rolls, bacon, and eggs permeated the house as carols played in the background. Our stockings were also filled and waiting for us by our plates. Leatherface didn't rest as he tried to jump onto us to get some attention since Ashton and I only focused on each other.

It felt so real that I didn't want to open my eyes

Because I didn't want to lose that feeling. I stubbornly refused to wake up, clinging to my pleasant dream. It took me a moment to realize that I really was smelling coffee and cinnamon rolls. I rolled onto my back, furiously rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands as I heard the strains of Christmas music floating up to the bedroom.

I got up slowly, feeling slightly groggy as the last tidbits of my dream clung to me. I quickly put on my pajama pants, though I didn't bother putting on anything else. After all, it could only be Morgan cooking, since Ashton doesn't know how to, and it's not like he hasn't seen my torso before.

Why was the Christmas music playing after Christmas anyway? Walking into the kitchen I saw Morgan at it on the stove and no sign of Ashton anywhere.

"Ah, good morning sir. Mr. Belle should be back shortly, he just went to settle some accounts with his father," Morgan said once he spotted me. "He took Leatherface with him so you wouldn't get woken up by him. Breakfast should be ready in about five minutes."

Now that Ashton wasn't here, maybe I could grill Morgan a bit. I found it incredibly fascinating how dedicated he was to the Belle family that he would completely give up his own life. I couldn't help but wonder how exactly he got to that point and what he does when we can't see him. In fact, I don't think I even know his last name.

"Am I at liberty to ask you anything?" I took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Yessir."

"How old are you?" I asked just to test the waters.

"I'm in my late thirties," He said flatly.

"Do you have a last name?"

"Everyone does." Oh, it was going to be that kind of conversation. 

"How'd you meet Ashton's family. The full story please."

"I met Mr and Mrs Belle on the roof of the temple about ten years ago. Before I had met them, my family was deemed unfit to continue to be in the synagogue by the rabbi, so we were dealing with the dreaded herem. no one would communicate with them, not even in writing, nor accord them any favor nor stay with them under the same roof nor come within four cubits in our vicinity; nor did anyone read any treatise composed or written by them. It destroyed my parents to be excommunicated to the point that they hung themselves. 

"When I found that they couldn't be buried in a jewish cemetery, which is the only thing they ever wanted, I lost all the will I had to live. When I gathered up all their stuff and tried to figure out how to bury them, I told myself that I'd try to return myself to normalcy. The more I did that, the more drained I started to feel. I made it for a while, but it was a constant struggle. The future was bleak and the only community I'd ever known had turned their backs on us. So I decided to quit and join my parents.

"To make a statement, I was going to kill myself in front of the temple that I felt killed my mother and father. I had contemplated taking my own life before, but back then it really felt as though I had a good reason. When I was on the ledge looking down, it felt like I was right where I was supposed to be. Once I was going to take that first step, Mrs. Belle pulled me down and forced me to follow her to her car." Morgan plated some food and set it in front of me. "I thought that she was going to tell me that I was going to hell, but all she did was offer me a job. Mr. Belle told me that in exchange for working and receiving education, they'll find a Jewish cemetery that will accept my parents and help me find a new community. At first I thought it was impossible but they came through. They did that very quickly, and put me in therapy with a good rabbi right after I was able to attend the ceremony for them."

"Is that why you're so loyal? Because they helped you grant your parents their wish?" I asked.

"I'm not that wholesome. My loyalty is a product of them helping me not hate myself or the Jewish community after what happened, as well as saving my life. They are the reason I'm still able to practice Judaism and keep a steady job. They were sent from god to help guide and watch over me, so I vowed that I must make sure that they are always protected as vessels from god." Morgan finished his story quite seriously. 

"May I ask what your parents were accused of?" I asked.

"Selling non kosher meat while claiming it was kosher," Morgan admitted. He looked very upset when he said this. "It wasn't true though, that Rabbi was exposed by Mr. Belle for framing my family and was excommunicated himself, so I was able to restore my family name as well."

"Hm, we're you not very strong back then as you are now?" I stupidly asked.

"Somewhat....it was more like I quit wanting to live while being falsely accused, or criticized, Or exhausted....really I was just devastated. I didn't have the energy to handle myself mentally back then."

"So you won't feel that way again?" 

"Only if I fail my mission from god and fail to protect the Belle family."

"Then why are you here and not with Ashton?"

"You are also part of the Belle family. It's my job to protect you as well, sir. My team is protecting him as we speak," Morgan shut me up with that one sentence. Somehow I felt flattered by the revelation that Morgan too considered me part of Ashton's family already. 

"Well then, I'm in your hands," I said not knowing what else to say. For some reason, I never expected Morgan's story to be a tragic one. In fact I expected more of a gangster turned good guy or even a story like him being born into a long line of bodyguards. Maybe even a justice loving kind of childhood. Instead I felt as though I wanted to cry. "Ok, last question about that. Do you ever still feel like dying?"

"No, now I want to live as long as possible," Morgan sighed and dug into his own plate of food. 

"Sometimes, I also think about dying," I admitted. "I gotta say that I can understand the stress of thinking about the future, and it's depressing. Truthfully life is exhausting in itself."

"Men tend to cling to things like hobbies or religion, familial bonds or even get a dog, in order to not be sick of life. I may not be in the best position to give you this advice, but you should find your anchor. Something that can remind you of the joys in life even when it's hard. For me, it's God and the Belle family."

It made sense to me. "That sounds reasonable. I think my anchor might be Ashton."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to hear that."

"But isn't it bad to rely on him alone to be my reason to live? Isn't that called codependency?"

"Codependency is an unhealthy form of dependency, but it's not dependency in and of itself that's the problem. In codependent relationships, one person is doing most of the giving, but not receiving much in return. But that's not the case with you and Ashton. When you're in an interdependent relationship, your partner's help and encouragement make it easier for you to go out into the world and tackle problems, try new things, and overcome your fears. Interdependency also allows you to be your own separate person, so there's a balance of dependence and independence. In other words, healthy dependency doesn't hold you back, it supports you in being your best self. Ashton's had a wonderful transformation thanks to you, and I've heard about how much you've changed from him. Your relationship is extremely healthy," Morgan lectured.

"But I can't give him the things he gets for me."

"If your financial situation was a problem for Ashton, he never would've started buying you things in the first place." That is right. Ashton never starts anything he doesn't have complete confidence will work out. And to think, I only called him egotistical for that. "You can have more faith in the family though I understand the hesitation. I wasn't very comfortable receiving their help either, but ultimately it was nice to have when things became too much for me. Forgive me for such a biased view but they are all mostly good people."

I guess Morgan was truly some kind of ride or die, but he did truly have a point. Ashton never stepped in my way of doing anything until it became too much for me to handle, even if I didn't want him to. It was very nice to have his help whenever possible. "Well, I'll work on it."

"That's good."

"H-hey. What's the most dangerous things you've ever done?" I asked eager to change the subject.

"I killed a monkeys brother at a lab. Now every time I go there, the living brother tries to attack me," Morgan said. 

"That's not-"

"Worried about animal rights? All medical care and medicines are made successful through the torture of animals. That's why all animal activists are hypocritical." Morgan instantly defended himself.

"I was just going to say 'that's not as dangerous as I thought' you know. I was expecting something a bit more," I smirked as he straightened his tie and regained his composure. Seeing that even he can get flustered really made me think about Morgan differently. Maybe he was more human than robot. "Do you have an aversion to people as well?"

"Not exactly. It's more like an aversion to feeling anything for death. In reality, there isn't really much flesh, so there's no need to be angry or sad. Whether it's buried or burned, it's not like the corpse is conscious anyway, so there's no need to feel sorry for the dead. It's selfish to be sentimental when the world is this overpopulated."

"It'll be painful for the people left behind."

"That's just ego. The only time to mourn is when you lose something beneficial to yourself. The facts are, if it was a stranger that died and it didn't effect you directly, you wouldn't care at all, would you? Isn't it the same for everyone?"

Morgan had a point there. "That's a pretty dark way of looking at life."

"It's better than being deluded by the soft safety net people try to put on the world."

I looked up at him, wondering just what the hell else he went through to have this kind of view on the world. Although realistic in a very primal way, no doubt it wasn't very easy for him to be happy. "What's your view on murder?"

"In a religious sense, it's unforgivable. But....the morality of murder....well once people are born, they're destined to die anyway. It could be an unfortunate accident that takes their life. So I don't see the difference between that and killing someone myself. Wouldn't it be considered more humane to kill them quickly?"

"But what about morals?" I asked.

"In that case, would you feel better if only bad people were murdered?"

"No one deserves to be murdered though."

"You really think so? Even child molesters?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I was left in silence. He certainly got me there. I thought molester should be made to dig their graves and executed. But more importantly, It made me wonder if he murdered the tutor who got to Ashton. 

"Ok, you have a point. I see where I might have been hypocritical about that statement. But is killing humans no different to you than killing animals?"

"We're all gods livestock, animal or human. Are you questioning my morals?"

"Not at all, you made it quite clear where your morals lie. It's hard to hear, but reasonable from an objective standpoint. I'm too young to know anything about the outside world. I still can't think of any reason why you're particularly wrong, because it's hard to debate logic using morals." I sighed in defeat. "I guess if anyone deserved to be murdered, it was that tutor."

"I agree, he was a bad man," Morgan nodded his head. Just like dad and Uncle Mickey, he admitted his crime without admitting it. It left a lot of room for speculation. "Whatever happened to him was very much deserved."

Morgan was indeed a bad guy, but I guess it didn't particularly mean that he was a bad guy. Somehow I felt like I could understand the villains from Wreck-it Ralph. "Hm. Did you like your parents?"

"Not particularly. My mother was incompetent and never did anything but gossip and dress up. My father was extremely pig headed and annoying, yet I still honored them. That's why....well it's great that I was left with no regrets towards them."

"Are you neurodivergent? Aspergers?"

"Neither, just very in touch with reality. Some may consider me antisocial in nature, but I've only become what I had to be to survive as long as I have. The world is a cruel uncaring place, especially the world of the Belle family," Morgan explained.

"Wow, you're kind of like a villain that makes sense. It makes me want to root for you."

"Trust me, if I was a villain, then the world is much worse."

"So the tutor is really dead?" I asked.

"Would you like to see his dismembered limbs?" 

"I'm good.

"Don't worry about him. He's just dead trash."

"I'm not. I can respect you killing anyone that hurt Ashton," I said. "I'm worried about you."

"Sir?"

"My uncle is addicted to hurting people and now it doesn't even phase him. He actually craves it. So it makes me wonder....how much do you like it?"

"More than I let on." Ah, an answer he thinks wouldn't be too scary. "Nothing you should worry about, sir. Just know that if you want someone to disappear, you should just come to me to handle it."

"Noted. What do you think of homosexuality?"

"I don't discriminate against it. If god didn't intend for it to exist, it wouldn't exist. Personally, I don't care about that kind of stuff."

That was to be expected of him. "Cool."

"Was there someone you wanted dead? A homosexual?" 

Vincenzo's face popped into my mind immediately after he said this, and I did my best to completely brush it off. Since he was going to stay away and respect my decision, there was really no need to stir up any trouble....especially when I saw a glimpse of the old him and he was actively getting therapy. "No, but I'll let you know if there ever is someone I want dead. But there is something else I'm curious about."

"Sir?"

"Why does Ashton think that tutor was shipped overseas?"

"Because he was shipped overseas. I just never disclosed whether he was dead or alive to Ashton. Mr and Mrs Belle are well aware of what state he's in and asked me not to tell him unless he asked though I'm sure he's smart enough to know the truth."

"Then why are you telling me? Aren't you afraid that I'll tell him?"

"Not at all. I think you want this conversation we've been having to stay between us, and I know that you don't want Ashton knowing just how much you're into macabre things since your uncles visit," Morgan told me confidently. I looked at him questioning what he meant with my eyes. "Your fascination with gore and violence seems like a topic you haven't yet approached with him in depth. I have it as well, I can see it in you, that's why we can understand each other when it comes to these things. Or at least, that's why you're interested in trying to pick my brain, because you notice it in yourself."

I couldn't deny that Morgan's way of thinking truly fascinated me and that I was trying to pick his brain. I also couldn't deny that I didn't find gore and violence interesting in many ways. Even from a young age, I had the ability to think like Morgan, but my dad intervened after the first and only incident. And even after that I was just to sick to actually commit any acts of violence.

If I didn't get sick, what could I have actually become?

"You got me," I put my hands up in defeat. "I won't say a word. In return, tell me how it felt to kill him."

Morgan looked shocked for almost a second but quickly recovered. "Well at first, I knocked the tutor out in front of his home and took him to my shed. While he was sedated, I amputated his arms up to the elbow and his legs up to his knees, then I let him heal enough to wake up without being in a dangerous situation. When he woke up he was absolutely terrified, and it feels nice to know that you can really terrify someone just by looking at them. It's not as exciting as you think. It's good, but that's where it stops. Originally, I wanted to draw it out and watch him suffer, but I didn't feel like it. Seeing him scared was enough for me and the torture was like beating a dead horse, boring. So I ended up strangling him, so I could feel him die. That ended up being the best part of it."

"How did strangling him feel?"

"A lot of things. Power. Like nothing can touch me. Ecstasy. Dopamine overloading. It felt too good to be real, I enjoyed it very much."

Did squeezing the life out of a human being really feel that good. I don't think I felt any of that when I killed that dog all that time ago, in fact, it just felt normal to me. I didn't feel a thing. Hell, I didn't feel anything when I saw Uncle Mickey cutting up his exs body either. "If you felt that, why didn't I feel anything when I killed that dog?"

"Probably because you were used to it being around. Any kid that grows up around the kind of violence you lived with thinks it's normal. That's why it didn't effect you as much, and there were people who stepped in to change your behavior. You took therapy seriously and had a father that loved you enough to make sure you turned out different, not to mention being sick probably made you think that you couldn't get violent because you were scared of dying," Morgan explained. "You didn't get violent again after that because your morals are now like everyone else's."

"I just learned how to not resort to violence first," I rolled my eyes. "And how to avoid violence at all costs."

"Sir, do you plan to kill in the future?"

"No!"

"Good. It's not for you, so just leave it to me, that's what I'm here for in the first place. I'm just as much your bodyguard to order around as Ashton's," Morgan finished sipping on his tea and gathered the dishes from the table. "Besides, the Belle family shouldn't be getting their hands dirty for anything."

"If I ask you to kill someone, you can't tell Ashton or he might try to do it himself. I don't think he can handle it."

"Why do you think we haven't told him about his tutor being dead? But either way, if you ask me to, I'll keep it a secret for you, sir." Morgan rolled up his sleeves and put on a long pair of pink gloves before starting to wash the dishes. "Was there anything else you wanted to know?"

I could literally ask him anything and he would tell me right? "Do you trust me?"

"I trust everyone in the Belle family, unless they threaten the honorable name," I didn't have it in to pry for a straight answer. Morgan was very meticulous when it came to yes or no questions about him. He's answer my question with a question or tell a long story. It was probably in his best interest to be like this for his line of work, but I could see why Ashton often got annoyed with him. If he can avoid a straight answer, he definitely will and will also let you make your own assumptions about him. 

In other words, it was up to me how much I trusted him. 

"Do you enjoy speaking in riddles about yourself?" I couldn't help but scowl a little bit at him. 

"I think you're smart enough to understand what I mean when I speak, sir. I often like to do puzzles in my spare time." Morgan said. "They're good for the brain."

"And also letting people expose themselves," I pointed out. It's a good method to keep your cards close to your chest when you know what your up against. But cards are useless to have if you couldn't make any real determinations about the person you're against. The chances of fucking up were just too high to risk anything. "You're really something else, Morgan. It's really cool."

"What's so cool?" I heard a voice infiltrate the room and I whipped my head around to see who had entered. Ashton was standing in the door of the kitchen letting Leatherface off of his leash so he could run to me.

"His work ethic," I said. It wasn't exactly a lie, I really was super impressed by it. I wonder if Leatherface could tell that it was a lie. "I don't think I've ever seen him take a break."

"Oh, yeah this guys a freaking work horse. He's just super diligent, even I don't know when he sleeps," I relaxed knowing that Ashton had fully believed what I was saying. "Anyway, good afternoon, Lovebug. Did ya miss me?"

"Yeah, it was kind of weird that you weren't there," I admitted as i pet a happy Leatherface.

"Then pay attention to me and not the dog," Ashton took my hands from Leatherface so he could pull me onto his lap. Ignoring Leatherface whining, Ashton gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Don't get jealous of the dog." I pulled away once I felt him getting riled up. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes, my dad went on and on about children and other things. He'd also like to sit down with you and meet you again. He wants to apologize and show his full support, but he doesn't want to stress you out or make you nervous. Now it's up to me to set it up," Ashton sighed.

"Children? Why do you look distressed about that now?" I asked.

"A kid fell right next to our table while we were eating, when I tried to help him up, he started crying uncontrollably. When his parents got him, he called me a big monster," Ashton kneaded his forehead. "How will I be as a father if I scare children like that?"

"You're not scary-"

"You're used to scary people, that's why I don't look scary to you," he mumbled. 

"Then try to smile more."

"I did smile, that just made the kid scream that I was a monster." Ashton leaned his head on my chest and stroked my hair. "I just have to live with my scary face or get plastic surgery-"

"Absolutely not. Objectively, you look a bit standoffish and scary, but you're still the most gentle person I've ever met. If other people can't see that then it's their loss. Besides, I'm sure whenever we have a kid of our own, they won't think you're scary at all," I tried to comfort him. "I love your face, don't change it."

"Hm, fine," he picked me up and carried me to the living room in his favorite style. "Give me a little bit to believe it myself."

"Ok," We turned our attention to the TV. Ashton sat upright and seemed very stiff while I was lay down with my head in his lap. He was playing with my hair, running his fingers through it, stroking my scalp. I was in heaven. It felt so good that I had zero idea what was even on the tv. I closed my eyes and tried to shut out everything but him and what he was doing to me. Who even knew the scalp could be an erogenous zone? Every tug of my hair, every scrape of his nails sent shivers down my spine.

"Baby?"

"mmmm?"

"You need a haircut."

"Do you think so?"

"Uhh, yeah. I just put it in a braid."

Huh? I sat up and looked bleary eyed into the mirror across from us. Half my hair fell forward, the front almost to my chin and the back to my upper back. The other half was put up in one of those fancy braids that girls sometimes wear. It followed my scalp over one ear and ended up in a tail like thing at the end.

Where the fuck did he learn that? I could barely even do a ponytail!

Ashton started giggling. "Do you want me to do the other side? I just need you to switch so your left is facing up this time. Pigtails are so precious."

I shook my head wildly, like a dog shaking off water. Most of the braid came out. "This is most most stereotypically gay thing you could've done. Why don't you just stick a feather in your ass next?!"

"It's just a braid," Ashton could barely contain his laughter. "What should I do with all this hair?"

"Cut it!"

"Me?"

"Sure, why not?"

He rolled his eyes "Cause I don't know how to cut hair"

"So? I don't care. I don't know if you could make it look any worse than it does now. If you fuck up, we can just shave my head." Really it was getting pretty skeevy looking. Even I knew that much.

"Why don't you just go to the salon with Soyoung and Miyeon."

"Cause haircutting places stink. That chemical smell burns my nose and that salon is for women," That was true, but it wasn't the whole story. I don't know how people could have someone they didn't know stand behind them with a very sharp, very pointy object. Not to mention when they tip you back in the sink to wash your hair. That much neck/stomach exposure was completely against what Uncle Mickey and dad had taught me to look out for. "I don't trust it at all."

Ashton got up and walked towards the kitchen. "Morgan, do we have a sharp scissor around here? Particularly hair scissors?"

"I think there might be one in this bag." Morgan handed him a big black travel bag. "Most likely, it's in the first aid kit."

Ashton started pawing through it. He came up with one of those surgery scissors that cut through anything then a little tiny scissor with curved blades. He eyed them both skeptically and rooted around some more. He then put those down and came across an unopened package with a large orange handled scissor in it. "This looks like it will work."

"What are you up to?" Morgan asked skeptically.

"Danny needs a haircut."

He laughed and shot me a look I couldn't recognize. Maybe he was paranoid I told Ashton about our talk. "That's an understatement. I'm sure you'd like to see his face more."

I grunted. No sense in encouraging them. I admitted I needed a haircut. They didn't need to harp on it. We walked into the bathroom together and immediately recognized the problem. It was set up with the tub on one side, and the sink and toilet on the other. It was pretty small compared to the bathrooms at Ashton's home.

Ashton looked down to the top of my head. "How do you want to do this?"

"Should I kneel on the floor?"

"Isn't that going to hurt your knees?"

"I don't care. It's just for a short amount of time."

"How about a chair?" Ashtom poked his head into the other room but stopped when I shook my head. "No go. They're all upholstered. Toilet? No. There's no room for me behind it. Unless you want to straddle it facing backwards. Though you might still be too low."

"It's fine. Really. I'll just kneel."

"That'll be uncomfortable. How about you sit on the edge of the tub and I'll stand in the tub behind you."

"Okay." I really didn't care.

"Cape?"

"What?"

"What do we have for a cape? We could empty the garbage and use the liner. Make a hole for your head and put it over you. Those little hairs can drive you nuts." Ashton climbed into the tub.

He was already thinking about this way to hard. "How about I just take a shower afterwards? Don't worry about getting hair on me."

I settled myself in front of Ashton in suspense. Nothing happened. I realized the scissors were on the counter in front of me. I grabbed them and held them up over my shoulder towards him, but still, nothing.

I glanced in the mirror just to see that he was too busy staring at me. Staring and thinking at me. Not blinking. "Uh, Ashton?"

"Oops" he tried to take the scissor, but fumbled them. They made a loud clattering in the tub making him blush a bright red. As he bent over to pick them up he muttered to himself "Haircut, just a haircut. You can do this."

"Ash, I really don't care how it turns out. Don't worry about it. Remember, we can just shave it."

He didn't look at me, but his blush got brighter. "What? No, it's ok. I'm fine doing the hair. I was just distracted for a minute. Never mind me. From the pictures I saw, you've had the same exact hair style every day of your life since you turned 9. You're 18 years old now and you still have the same exact hair!"

"Technically, that's not true. The hairs on my head now not the same ones that I had 9 years ago." Once again, I got that sarcastic silence. I didn't even bother trying to move this time. Needless to say, my time of objection was gone. "Chop away."

I hear the scissors retract as Ashton took a finger-full of my hair. I closed my eyes when I heard the snip, feeling the lock of hair fall onto my shoulder and down torso to the floor. "Ok, good."

"Are we done yet?" I asked.

"That was just the first strand, Lovebug," he said, "We got a ways to go."

Can we take a break now? I need to finish my soaps today."

"You agreed to have me cut it, right? You're an adult right?" Ashton asked. I nodded my head back and forth. "Well, big boys get their haircut. You gotta grow some balls before you can play with the big guns, man."

"But, I already played with the big gun," I mumbled as Ashton chuckled before going back to cutting. I kept on feeling almost like a two-year-old, wincing and squinting my eyes as I heard Ashton cutting my hair, strand by strand, the black chunks of hair falling to the ground. It was then that I felt jealous of the full shaggy mullet Ashton kept. Ashton paused to get a good look around my head, then went back into snipping.

The air conditioner buzzed to life, and although I was unmoved by the constant breeze of cold air, I can feel a slight breeze on my head, and I reached up to touch it, only to get my hand slapped away. A few minutes later, Ashton let out a a hum.

"What is it?" I asked. Ashton cuts a few strands before putting the scissors away.

"Alright, Dan, you can look." he said proudly. Hesitantly, I took a look in the mirror at his handiwork. Needless to say, I think he really had some skill, as I looked better than i did in years. My hair is slightly shiny, and my sideburns are thicker, something I noted as the 'Sam Winchester from Supernatural cut.' Ashton smiled proudly at me in the mirror when I looked up at him. "See now I can see your entire face and the back is shorter. How do you like it?"

"It is nice," I admitted. "but I don't know. I kind of miss the hair. It was nice to hide behind."

"Well, you better get a shower then," Ashton brushed the hair off my shoulders.

A nervous chuckle left my mouth as I took one of Ashton's hands hesitantly. "I was going to. Do you...want to come with me?" I said quietly – leaning up so I could bite down ever so gently on his bottom lip.

It got an immediate response from his nether regions. "This means that I can save the shower coupon for another time," Ashton said in a daze.

"What?!" I was going to argue more, but Ashton's mouth completely took mine over and he held me in place against the bathroom wall as he striped down to nothing. That damn coupon book! There was absolutely no chance for me to refute him or bargain again, because he knew exactly how to take my breath away.