Too Good to be True

The nightmares haunted me every night. I began to try and stay awake as long as possible. I took potions and chewed on herbs to stave away the inevitable. I would get de-buffs like tired and even exhausted.

Many times I would toss and turn in my sleep only to wake up screaming. My brothers would ask what my nightmare was. I wasn't stupid, I knew what caused it. I knew it was from my guilt of killing so many people. But what could I do to stop it? Stop raiding? But it's the only thing I know, and I am an outlaw. What kind of alternative would there be? And if I told them the truth then they would just feel bad, and I would just become a burden for them. So the only thing I could do was lie and say I couldn't remember.

The last thing I wanted, was for my brothers to pity me. Or treat me like some light-hearted child.

Soon black bags were always under my eyes. I almost always had the tired de-buff. I also became far more irritable and aggressive.

Time went on. years went by. We raided villages. We made a lot of money. We killed more.

My brothers at one point, offered to pool our money together for a high-level elixir for my scars. I thanked them for the thought but said it was unnecessary and a waste of money. At that point, I was used to the scars. I felt like they were part of just who I was. 

We leveled up further. Soon I was 22 years old and level 72. Balgroff even got to level 75, but he was stuck on the max level increase test. Salis on the other hand began to lag behind and was now only barely ahead of me at level 73.

We were no longer small time. We were a real threat now. We began to also raid smaller towns. A feat not many brigands can achieve. My new main class also evolved from [ Jester ] to [ Deceitful Jester ].

It was going well in those years. Aside from my nightmares, we were rich and powerful. Plus we had each other. We were happy together. finding solace in an otherwise lonely world. It always seemed like it was us against the world. But now, those times only remind me of a quote: "Pride goeth before the fall."

It was a summer day. The sun shone its rays upon us all. Almost watching us, judging us.

We were in a carriage black market. The system was simple. Multiple carriages owned by the Thieves Guild were always moving around the kingdom smuggling rare items and bringing criminals together. Every once in a while the carriages would stop and set up shop temporarily. Word was then spread among thieves, assassins, and brigands. Then they would all gather to buy, sell, and give out special jobs. The whole thing was operated and managed by the Thieves Guild. It was nearly impossible to catch them as they were almost always on the move.

Me and Balgroff were then in a small carriage. We were working out a job with a middleman. The middle man was a butler who was obviously in over his head. He was offering a job from a noble. The butler was wearing a mask and wearing a cloak. But by the way he spoke and acted it was obvious he was a butler. There were 2 knights behind him acting as guards. They were also in cloaks and had the crests on their armor covered.

"You expect us to fight through a town for something that may or may not be there. Nor will we know what it is we are looking for. All of that for just a platinum." Balgroff shouted through gritted teeth.

Although he seemed angry it was only an act. Most jobs were like this among brigands, but the butler didn't know that. To the butler, this probably seemed extreme. While to us this was just about run-of-the-mill. The whole point of this charade was to haggle for more money.

The butler squeamishly answered "Yes I understand how outrageous this sounds. Perhaps you could reconsider if the pay were increased?"

"Sure I'll do the job ~if~ you throw in another platinum."

"Another platinum! That's highway robbery!"

"Well for a job like this. I think it's about right."

"How about a platinum and 50 gold?"

"A platinum and 75 gold is the lowest I will go."

"Fine! 1 platinum and 75 gold."

"Deal!"

Balgroff put his hand forward with a grin on his face. The butler begrudgingly brought his hand out to shake.

In our kingdom, a platinum coin is the largest currency. Then a gold coin, then silver, then copper. It took 10 coppers to get one silver, 10 silvers for one gold, then 100 gold for one platinum. For comparison, the average worker makes about 1 gold coin every year.

The job we just took was originally 1 platinum. Balgroff just haggled instead for the job to be 1 platinum and 75 gold. This was the highest-paying job we ever took. It just goes to show how much money nobles can throw around.

The reason I was there was just in case some form of magic was used. I had a high perception stat so I could discern a coercion spell or persuasion skill. Plus I was wearing my mask adding a level of intimidation.

Now that all the details were ironed out, me and balgroff left the carriage. We then walked through the temporary black market to where Salis was.

The people at the black market that day were varied. half Giants, rat men, halflings, and most common humans. All of these troublemakers were being watched by groups of heavily armed thieves guild members.

While walking through the crowd I felt a small hand enter my pocket that held my coin purse. A devious grin came across my face as I ignored it. The halfling behind me quickly pulled my coin purse out with finesse. Then he began to walk away and place the purse within his own pocket. Before he could fully place it in his own pocket he felt a tug. The halfling looked back to see me staring straight at him. At the same time, the purse was being pulled on by a string attached to it. Even with the mask on the halfling could tell I was smiling.

It was a trick where I attached my coin purse to my robe with a magic string. The string was nearly impossible to see yet was as strong as a thick chain.

Two thieves' guild members jumped over since they could sense trouble. They wore black leather vests and wore animal masks. It was common for high-level Thieves Guild members to wear masks while on the job.

One of them wore a gorilla mask. He was huge at about 3 meters tall(or 9'10"). This was tall for even half-giant standards. He dragged a large metal mace behind him.

The other wore an owl's mask. He on the other hand was a human and about 1.65 meters tall(or 5'5"). He had no visible weapon so he was most likely a Mage.

I could sense they were both weaker than me. Maybe about level 60. level 60 is above average for most people, while me and my brothers were generally very high level.

Normally fighting and stealing were banned in a black market, and it was very obvious that the halfling tried to pickpocket me. "Wait! I swear I can explain" the halfling frantically said.

I planted my fist square in his face. He was sent flying backward after dropping my purse. He was unconscious after one hit. I then pulled my purse back into my pocket by the string.

The two thieves guild members watched. The one with an owl's mask simply looked down at the halfling and said "Hmm, I think this one is also an open and shut case. Don't you agree Krug?"

Krug or the one wearing a gorilla's mask simply grunted. He couldn't care less about the halfling. He was currently staring at me. He could tell I was strong and wanted to fight me.

It was normal for giants and half-giants to want to fight people they viewed as strong. Unfortunately for Krug though, the one wearing an owl's mask tugged on Krug's arm and said "Hey dumbass, we're on the job right now. If you wanna get your ass kicked, do it off the job. But if the boss finds out you were fighting on the job again we'll both get our pay cut."

The man wearing an owl's mask then pointed at the unconscious halfling. Krug looked at the owl mask and grunted. He then grabbed the halfling by the neck and dragged him away.

The halfling would receive a complimentary beating from the thieves' guild for trying to steal in a black market.

As the halfling was the perpetrator of breaking the rules I would not receive a punishment even though I hit him. 

"That was rather mean. You could have just not let him get in your pocket in the first place." Balgroff whispered to me.

"Then he would have probably just pickpocketed someone else and gotten away with it," I replied.

Balgroff only sighed as we continued to walk towards Salis. We finally reached where Salis was. He was meditating on a rock surrounded by 3 other people who were also meditating. All of them were in the lotus position and silent.

Sometimes in his free time, Salis would teach brigands or assassins how to use magic for extra money. Magic was easy to get started, but was generally only known by the nobles and powerful commoners. We waited by the side for about 15 minutes before he finally opened his eyes.

"Times up," Salis said. The rest of the men opened their eyes and stood up. Salis tapped a bowl in front of him with a stick. "You know the fee." He said.

2 of the men walked up and dropped a couple of gold coins into the bowl. The last man slowly began to back away. He turned to run only to bump into Balgroff. "What's the rush buddy? Where ya going?" Balgroff said with a smile. The man took a look at me and Balgroff and gave a suave smile saying "Can't blame a guy for trying." He then went on to place a couple of gold coins in the bowl and walked off.

"By the gods, first a pickpocket then a dine-n-dasher. Have thieves lost all honor." Balgroff said in a sarcastic tone with a grin.

"Someone tried to pickpocket you guys?" Salis asked.

"~Tried~ is the keyword," I said with a chuckle.

Balgroff went on to explain our job to Salis "Me and Amos just finalized a job with a noble. The job is simple, a fetch and drop off. The package is a crate in the warehouse of a large town called Runin. Then we drop it off at Blackwater Valley.

Sneaking will be impossible as a magic sensor is also with the package. So we're gonna have to fight our way through. The pay is 1 platinum and 75 gold."

Salis broke in with "1 platinum and 75 gold? What are we stealing, a legendary weapon?"

"No clue. All he said was that it was a large crate." Balgroff answered.

With Salis now knowing the premise of the job we began to make preparations. We got the best weapons possible and multiple expensive potions.

— A Couple Days Later — 

We arrived at Runin. It was the dead of night. The three moons were above. The third moon was broken and fragmented. Its shards and pieces glittered in the sky like gems.

Runin itself was large. It had a large stone wall surrounding it. There was also a large factory in the middle with a billow of smoke coming out from its large chimney. Balgroff explained the job to us once again and reminded us that once we got past the wall the job started, as that's when we were in range of the magic sensor.

We sneaked our way to the wall. Then we made our way around towards the gate. There were two guards in front of the gate. Balgroff slammed one into the wall while I punched the other on the chin. They were both knocked out instantly.

All three of us looked into the town from the gate mentally preparing ourselves for what we had to do. Then each of us pulled out and uncorked a swiftness potion and downed it.

[ buff - dexterity + 30 - 5 min ]

I don't know what it was like for them, but for me, I felt like I was on fire and full of energy. Well, on fire in a good way. Finally, Balgroff did a countdown:

"3 ... 2 ... 1 GO!"

We all sprinted into the town. With our natural stats and a swiftness potion, we were like a blur to most people. Our footprints left imprints in the cobblestone.

Shortly after a magical siren began to blare. No doubt the magical sensor already picked us up starting an alarm. People on the streets ran around in a panic. Most just ran into their houses, while others began to hide. The townspeople had no idea how large of an attack was happening.

Finally, we reached our destination, the warehouse. It was like a small fort within the town.

It had stone walls around it. The stone glimmered showing there were magic runes involved. Guards were poking their helmet-covered head's over the wall with crossbows in hand.

A large gate was in the middle of the wall. In front of the gate, there was a force waiting for us. There was 30 knights between level 50 and 60. In front of the knights were 2 people that stood out. The first man was in robes and holding a white orb. He was the town's sentinel. The second man was in full knight armor holding an ultra great sword and a majestic helmet.

Although none of us were showing it we were seething inside. That damn butler never mentioned a knight squad. This job just became way harder. Not to mention fighting a whole knight squad is worth at least 3 platinums compared to the only 1 3/4 were being paid. We got scammed.

While we were thinking this the knight squad was sizing us up as well. The silence was only broken when the enormous knight holding the ultra-great sword stepped forward. Taking the chance I inspected him.

[ Derrick Valiant - lvl 75 - age 58 ]

[ Knight Captain - Human/giant ]

The man was a little over 2.5 meters tall(or 8'2"). About average for half-giants. Due to his size, the ultra-great sword he used merely looked like a regular sword.

He spoke in a deep voice "Who hired you."

Balgroff responded with "I'm not sure what you're talking about. We're just here for a cup of sugar."

Me and Salis chuckled. Scammed or not this was a mess we would have to deal with.

The knight only sighed put on his helmet and said "Fine, have it your way."

As soon as the knight put his helmet back on Salis did a quick incantation and aimed his wand at the ground. Multiple crossbow bolts came at him, but Balgroff stepped in and blocked them. Once Salis finished the incantation smoke spread everywhere. A cloud plumed out covering everything.

All of the defenders lost sight of us. The half-giant knight jumped back joining the ranks of the knights. He was unsure of if the smoke was poisonous or if he would be attacked if he went into the smoke so he played it cautiously. 

Compared to the defenders we were at a disadvantage and needed every advantage we could get. So within the smoke, all 3 of us were downing buffing potion after buffing potion.

[ buff - fire resistance 300% - 30 min ]

[ buff - strength + 30 - 5 min ]

[ buff - endurance + 20 - 5 min ]

[ buff - pain resistance 300% - 15 min ]

When we felt like we would throw up we started casting buffing spells instead.

[ buff - spell casting speed 150% - 15 min ]

[ buff - illusion spell power 150% - 10 min ]

The last thing I did was cast invisibility on myself. The 3 of us had fought together long enough to have a basic plan in place without even speaking.

Soon the smoke was blown away by a strong wind created by the wizard sentinel. When we were back in view the defenders could only see Salis and Balgroff.

"One turned invisible! Surround them!" The knight commander barked out.

The knights marched forward quickly surrounding the 2. Salis cast another spell spraying lava in a circular motion around them. The lava created a mote around Salis and Balgroff stopping the knights from approaching. The knights changed tactics by switching to spears to stab from a distance. Balgroff blocked spear after spear. They skidded off his shield creating sparks.

One of the times Balgroff grabbed one of the spears, and pulled the knight into the lava. The knight screamed as he burned and melted. This made the other knights slow down as they became more cautious and scared. Balgroff and Salis were now in a stalemate with the knights.

During all this, I was running toward the wizard. At this point, the wizard finished his dispel invisibility spell. He raised his orb as a translucent bubble expanded outward from it. When the bubble passed through me I began to reappear. I was still about 6 meters away from him. it was enough distance for him to cast another spell. If I didn't take him out quickly then this fight would become much harder. Thankfully I came prepared.

I pulled out my newest weapon slash tool. It was a serrated metal hook. I latched my magic string onto it as I threw it out towards the wizard. The hook latched into the wizard's arm. With one tug of the string, the wizard came flying towards me. The wizard screamed in terror as he flew.

The knight commander realized what was happening as he heard the screams. He turned around and sprinted towards me, but it was too late. Once the wizard got in range I plunged my short sword into his heart.

[ Fatal Hit ]

[ slain - human - Elemental wizard - lvl 68 ]

[ 13570 exp ]

The knight commander finally reached me. He raised his ultra great sword above his head ready to slice me into 2. Before he could I pulled the wizard's body in between us. The knight commander split the wizard's corpse into 2. It created enough space for me to act. I pulled out a potion, shook it, then tossed it to him. The knight sliced the bottle before it reached him but that was enough. An orange Gas spread out from the bottle. 

I held my breath and backed away from him. At that moment the guards on the wall finally had a clear shot of me. They fired a volley of crossbow bolts at me. I dodged all but one that found purchase in my shoulder. It hurt like hell, but I still held my breath.

Unfortunately for the knight commander, he did not hold his breath, and he got a breath full of the gas coming out of the potion. He began to cough and wheeze like crazy.

He ripped off his helmet and lifted his sword. Ready to retaliate if I tried to follow up. Even in this weakened state, he was still a tough son of a bitch.

"You *cough* underhanded *cough* bastard!"

I could only pity the knight. He Probably only ever fought monsters or other soldiers. He has no experience in fighting brigands or other tricky opponents. Either way, I had things I needed to do. With the wizard dead they lost most of their versatility.

First I ran out of the range of the gas. Then I yelled out "WIZARDS DEAD!" This was the signal Salis and Balgroff were waiting for.

Salis grinned as he started channeling mana into pure heat at the tip of his wand. Channeling mana was simple and fast, it was simply converting mana into an element or heat source. Balgroff and Salis then jumped out from the artificial island and into the horde of knights. Balgroff then pounded his shield into the ground and did a quick spell follow-up. The ground around him shook and broke apart causing the knights to fall down and break formation. Salis then pointed his wand near the knights.

One of the main disadvantages of heavy armor is how hot it is inside. So when Salis put a 500-degree Celsius (932 Fahrenheit) heat source near them, they were cooked alive inside the armor meant to protect them.

"Ahhhhh!"

The knights screamed out in agony as their skin boiled, bubbled and their insides melted. Some of the knights farther away from Salis just ran away.

"By the gods, Salis, tune it down," Balgroff said.

Currently, Balgroff was standing far away with his shield pointed towards Salis.

"How hot is it?" Salis asked.

Magic could not affect its castor. So Salis couldn't feel a thing.

"I'm sweating bullets, and that's with my fire resistance."

All of the regular knights died or ran away. Now only the knight commander remained. Another volley of crossbow bolts came. Balgroff raised his shield and banged his mace against it activating a skill. A bubble spread out from it containing Me, Salis, Balgroff, and the knight commander. The bolts exploded into splinters when they hit the bubble.

I quickly ran over to my brothers. We all stared at the knight commander. He had no chance of winning.

By now the knight's endurance overcame the coughing gas and he was back to normal. Even with his death looming a smile crept onto his face. He then said

"I bet you don't even know what you got yourself into. I bet whoever hired you didn't even tell you what's inside the crate. Ha, your all so fucked!"

After that, he pounced forward with his sword high in the sky. Balgroff met him with his shield. The sword collided with the shield denting the metal. Salis shifted to the left of him shooting off a fireball at the knight's right leg. The knight pulled back his sword blocking the fireball with the flat side. Right at that moment I was at his left stabbing between the armor in his front and back. His skin and muscle acted like a second layer of armor making me only damage the muscle.

The knight jumped back. He glared at me. The knight touched the spot where I had stabbed and looked at the blood. He clenched his fist then got into a stance and calmed his breathing. He closed his eyes and breathed out. His sword began to be covered in a translucent energy. The energy vibrated and sputtered like an unruly beast.

We could tell he was activating a skill. We rushed forward to stop him, but It was too late as he met us halfway. He did a horizontal slash. Balgroff raised his shield again, but this time the sword went clean through the shield and his hand! We all had a face of utter astonishment. This time we were the ones to pull back. We now realized what the energy was. It was aura! A special energy only some rare and special classes got. Even rare metals and rocks would be cut through like butter.

The situation was now dire. Salis started rapidly firing weak fire spells. It locked down the knight, but he was cutting through the spells with ease.

Balgroff dropped his mace and pulled out a potion. He held it over his stump of an arm. He then squeezed until it cracked and poured the contents all over his arm.

Things were looking bad. Balgroff was no longer in fighting shape, Salis was burning through his mana, and the knight looked like he could keep going for another hour. There was only one option left. I had to use a skill I had only recently acquired.

I ran towards him. He was currently slicing a fireball in half. Salis stopped once he saw me approaching him. Me and the knight squared up.

"No more tricks. Just me and you" I said with a smile.

"Ha, about time." The knight responded.

I raised my short sword with my right arm and held my hook in my left. The knight tightly wrapped his hands around the handle of his sword. It was so tense it sounded like Leather tightening.

We both ran toward each other. I raised my short sword for an overhead attack. The knight was faster and did a slash right below the sword. My forearm came flying off. A devious smile formed on his face. He figured it would have been tougher. But he didn't think much of it and said "Looks like I disarm- *gurgle*." Before he could finish a bad joke he felt his throat was spilling blood. He felt his throat with his hand to realize it was slit!

That's when he saw that there was no blood coming out of my arm. At that point, I undid the spell. My arm reappeared with my short sword dripping blood. What really happened was before we squared up I activated my class spell called [Jester's cruel joke ]. The skill turned my arm invisible while leaving a fake arm behind. So when he cut through my arm he only actually cut through an illusion. While my real arm and sword slit his throat.

The knight dropped his sword and grasped his throat with both hands. He fell to his knees while staring into my eyes with pure hatred.

"You *gurgle* tricky *splurt* son of a bitch!" He said with scorn.

He finally fell forward.

[ slain - H/G - Knight Commander - lvl 75 ]

[ 21470 exp ]

Balgroff and Salis walked over and stood next to me. We all stared at the knight Captain's body. Salis and Balgroff were covered in scratches and cuts from the knight's spears. I still had a crossbow bolt in my shoulder, and additionally, Balgroff was currently holding his own severed hand. There were multiple ways to reattach limbs through magic so Balgroff would keep his hand until then.

I pulled out the crossbow bolt and chugged down a recovery potion. After that more silence occurred. Salis was finally the one to break the silence.

"What the hell kind of snake oil salesman did you get this job from."

Balgroff sighed and said "This is my fault. I had a feeling that butler was untrustworthy, but the money blinded me."

I said, "It doesn't matter now. C'mon, we need to search his body. A knight captain is bound to have something good."

I then went down and began going through the knight's pouches. Salis was also about to help, but then he spotted the ultra-great sword, and a good joke came to him. Salis bent down and grabbed the ultra-great sword with both hands. Then he made it look like he was struggling to pick it up. He then looked Balgroff straight in the eyes and said "Whew! This is heavy. Balgroff give me a hand would ya!"

Balgroff went red and then tried to kick Salis. Salis easily dodged the kick as he and I were dying of laughter.

"Goddamn kids. No respect for your elders." Balgroff grumbled. He then placed his severed hand into a dimensional bag.

As I was laughing I continued searching his body. I finally found his dimensional bag. I reached my hand inside and began feeling around. Money, potion, dagger, and a folded piece of paper? I pulled out the piece of paper and unfolded it. What I saw made my heart sink. It was a Child's drawing of the knight and his family. Which included his wife and 2 young daughters. I stopped and just stared at that piece of paper.

Salis was still chuckling from his joke. He placed the ultra-great sword into the dimensional bag and went on to help me with the rest of the body. He then saw what I was staring at. He stopped and started staring at it too. Balgroff noticed both of us and stopped and stared at it with us. Nobody said a word for a full minute. This time Balgroff was the one to break the silence with "c'mon, let's just go and finish the job."

I folded the drawing back up and placed it on top of the knight. Me and Salis then stood up solemnly.

Once the moment passed we all did our best to move on. Finally, we walked towards the stone wall surrounding the warehouse. There was still a magical shimmer going over the gate and walls. Plus there were still guards inside the gate. A couple of them peeked their heads over the wall to watch us. When we killed the Knight captain they stopped firing at us. It seemed as if they had given up so Balgroff dropped the shield bubble.

Balgroff yelled out "Open the gate now! If you do we will let you live! Or we will open it ourselves, and when we get inside we'll be real pissed off and all bets will be off then!"

After that, I could hear some voices arguing behind the wall. Then finally the sound of metal moving. The gate then swung open. The guards then stared at us with worried faces. Wondering if maybe he lied and we were gonna kill them anyway.

Balgroff just said one word "go."

With that, all the guards ran out from the wall. We then walked into the inner area. The last hurdle before us was the door into the warehouse had a lock. To us, it was only an annoyance as Balgroff kicked open the door.

We were finally inside. There was stuff all over the place, but to us, only one thing mattered. Finding that goddamn crate. We rifled through and tore open every dimensional bag in the place until we finally found it. One enormous dimensional bag that held an even bigger crate within it. The bag was brown and stretchy. It was a huge pain in the ass stretching it enough to get the crate out, but we finally did it.

Before us, it stood. A crate big enough to fit a bedroom inside. But there was one final kick in the balls. The side of the crate had the royal crest on it.

"Goddamn it! That fucking butler!"

Salis was currently kicking a different crate while yelling out profanities. It was understandable and Balgroff was also steaming mad on the inside. Although it all made sense now. The knight squad, the butler's vagueness, why he scammed us. This whole job was just a suicide mission.

For context, The royal family was the single strongest entity in the whole kingdom. So the fact we were stealing something valuable from them pretty much guaranteed our death.

"Fuck this! I'm seeing what's inside." Salis said. He then ran over to the crate and pried off one of the sides.

"Wait!" Balgroff yelled out as he tried to stop him. But it was too late. The side fell off, and we all saw what was inside.