Life Without You

'Because the heart is more dangerous than you thought. I don't want you to die because of love.'

Lin Hua

***

The night stars are so beautiful. I can see their enchanting rays in the dark night. Xu Feng kissed my forehead again. I just have a simple wish to live happily with him for the rest of our life.

"Xu Feng, I love you. " I said.

"I know, Baby. " Xu Feng smiling again. "Baby, tomorrow I have to go to Japan. I have to handle some job over there."

"What? Why are you just saying now?" I protested.

"Baby, please don't be angry. My boss just called me this afternoon so I let you know soon. Baby, please don't worry. I will come back to you."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise Baby."

***

Few days without Xu Feng is just boring. Usually he will text me but now he is so busy with his business. I feel hesitant as well as contacting him. I was just waiting for Xu Feng to call me but it seems like he disappeared.

The next day I tried to contact Xu Feng but he couldn't reach him. Living without news about Xu Feng makes me feel bad. A lot of failures that I made during working these few days.

"Bai He Lian, are you alright? " Lin Hua asked me. She is my work partner.

"Uhm. I am okay. " I answered. "Oh yeah... Why I never see Xiao Tian?"

Lin Hua took a deep breath and looked at me. "Bai He Lian, didn't you hear about her? "

"What?" I am confused.

"Xiao Tian resigned a few days ago and now she was gone with her boyfriend. People say that they run away because they have a lot of debts. Don't you know about this? Didn't both of you become closer friends?"

I got Lin Hua's point. I and Xiao Tian have become friends since our childhood. Indeed she is a bit of an introvert but she always helps me when I get into troubles so difficult for me to trust the rumor about her. Many people say Xiao Tian is dating 'my' Xu Feng. That's impossible because they just met once. That time I was introduced to Xu Feng with her and Xiao Tian already has a boyfriend. Xiao Tian looks like love her boyfriend so deeply and sometimes we go out together and go on double dates.

"Bai He Lian, I think you have to be careful with your heart. "

"Why?"

"Because the heart is more dangerous than you thought. I don't want you to die because of love. "

I am laughing out loud. Her words are so creepy to me. She is so mean indeed. A calling from my desk.

"Bai He Lian, some people are looking for you in the lobby."

"Who?"

"They look so scary. They want you to come out."

"What?! "

"Okay, just go and meet them. I can't hold them anymore. "

I still don't understand what's happened but I don't have time to process all the information. So I am going to the lobby. I am so shocked when I see a lot of men gathering at the reception. I inhale my breath to make me calm but I think it's useless.

"That's Bai He Lian. "

Yu Ming pointed at me while I walked approaching them. They look so mad but I really don't have any idea why they are looking for me here.

"Are you Bai He Lian? " One of them asking me without any hesitation.

"Yes, I am. " I try my best to look more calm. "What can I do for you all?" I asked again.

He showed me a paper like an agreement letter. I was shocked when I read that agreement. Because that agreement arranges the loan.

"I never make this agreement. "

"So how can your signature and stamp appear on this letter?! "

"But-"

"I don't want to know! The day after tomorrow we'll come back here and that time you have to pay your debt."

"What?! But I never borrow your money."

"Don't you know Xu Feng?!"

"Yes. He is my boyfriend."

"But why do we never see you often, okay... I don't want to know about your personal business. I warned you if you can't pay the debt. You have to follow us."

"What?! Follow you?! Why do I have to?!"

"Because you will pay your debt with your body."

This must be insane but they look so serious. I don't know how Xu Feng relates with these people. One of them showed me the part of the agreement that arranges all the deals about the loan. It says if I can't pay the debt. They have the right to sell me.

I almost numb but I decide to deal with these circumstances. I was just shocked when I found out that Xu Feng made me his gage. Didn't he say that he loves me? Or the word of love, never exists in this world?

"Alright. Enough for now. We will come back the day after tomorrow. Don't forget about the money."

I looked at them leaving the lobby arrogantly. Why did Xu Feng do this to me? Soon, I tried to contact him but it was useless. It seems he really ran away. The man says if they looked at Xu Feng with another girl.

"Bai He Lian, are you okay?" Yu Ming asked me.

No, I am not okay. I am so terrible but no single word leaks out from my mouth. I just give her a smile then going to my floor with this madness. I feel like an idiot and now I have to think of another solution. How can I get a lot of money? I don't have a connection in this city. I am an orphan now. My grandmother passed away three years ago and she doesn't have money too. What can I do now?

"Bai He Lian, Mr. Zhao wants to talk with you."

"Okay."

I wish something good will happen even if the fact surrounding me tell me that was lost my hope. I know this is crazy but it's okay to hope for something good in these circumstances.

I walked into Mr. Zhao's room. He is an old man who is always strict about all rules in this company. His sharp eyes scanned me from hair to toe.

"Sit down please." He ordered.

I sit properly at this time. He looks like want to say something urgent.

"Okay, I don't know what's happening in the lobby but I hope those people never show up again here."

"Don't worry Sir. I am so sorry about it all."

"Okay then you can go back to your desk."

"Yes, sir."

***

This weekend is so different without Xu Feng. I am still contacting him but it seems he has changed his number. I see a lot of couples dating and make me envious of them. I hope I can meet him as soon as possible. I know the facts surrounding me and say he is just using me. Xu Feng never loved me but let me trust if he loved me. He just made some mistakes like everyone did.

I don't know why I am crying. Why is my heart so sad? When I see a young man with a lovely face. I don't know why this heart is like being stabbed by a knife. He looks so casual, nothing special except when our gaze meets for a while then he passes me then enters a coffee shop near the place that I am standing up.

Bai He Lian, He is just a stranger.

Perhaps I am so sad because of Xu Feng. I want to believe he just made some mistake. Xu Feng says he loves me. He couldn't live without me. So let me trust him.