To be honest, I was jealous.
Mama kept on saying how much of a prodigy Aunt Lin's boy was. Apparently despite being a Westerner, he was great at controlling his emotions and quite mature. At least that's what my mother kept on telling me.
She sang praises of that boy, despite only meeting him twice. She constantly corrected my own behavior by comparing me to that boy and even berating me. Even though I tried so hard to be nice, so hard to not mess up. Even though I was so much more talented than him.
Lork And Joseph were both so much better than me, so I tried really hard to not mess up, yet to Mama's eyes, I was always messing up.
So, it wasn't a stretch to say, I didn't like Aunt Lin's boy.
"I'm Sol, nice to meet you," he said.
He spoke so fluently. I'd been talking for over two years, but I couldn't even keep up with his speech, let alone imitate it. Just from a single glance, I could tell, the short boy before me… really was as good as my mother said.
So, I tried making fun of him. I tried making fun of his ears. Yet… he didn't seem to get mad, but rather… sad?
I was confused and before I knew it, we were outside and I saw some cute pigs. I gave him a push, and ran after the pigs. I was bigger than him and I could run way faster. So, I felt great! I was better than him at least in something!
But that sense of pride died, along with the pigs. Those three little piglets died before my very eyes and my legs had given up. I soiled myself at the face of the adversary, and it gleamed at me with those hungry mocking eyes.
Lork always mentioned how he nearly escaped a tiger fiend once. He would often recount his failed adventure and how lucky he was. But if Lork had to run away, what chance did I have when I couldn't even climb trees?
"Lia!" Sol showed up, on top of a goat.
A spirit! Surely- no, wait, herbivore spirits were guardian angels, they were never meant to stand up to fiends. They would be destroyed and heavily punished by the spirit king… no spirit in its rightful mind would-
Yet, the boy didn't stop, and the spirit attacked the fiend.
And the rest was history.
He'd died before my very eyes, yet I could do nothing but watch. He died for me, to protect me, yet… I could do absolutely nothing.
Powerless. Worthless.
What was the point of my talent? My hard work? My pride? What was the point if I felt this powerless?
"SOL!" Aunt Lin showed up and cut the tiger. She grabbed Sol and didn't even look at me.
I meant nothing to her…
Mama dropped from the tree and held me but she too just stared at the boy. I meant nothing…
But then the unthinkable happened. The guardian angel shared bits of her soul with the boy. Something I'd only heard in the legends. And then she vanished.
The boy managed to survive.
But my pride did not. I locked myself off, refused to eat anything and just stayed put. Southerners could survive for days without food; I wasn't an exception. But… but I knew I was just being stupid. I knew I was-
Yet…
I couldn't bring myself to open the door. I couldn't bring myself to see him. I couldn't… stop crying.
A few days passed. Mama stopped trying to get me out of the room. She'd always been easy on me while she was hard on my brothers. I guess, I wasn't worth her time. But… I was hoping she'd at least try… try a bit more.
She didn't.
Then one day…
Knock! Knock!
"It's Me Sol."
He kept on knocking and saying stuff until I heard a thud. Did he fall? Did he just pass out?
He was weak and wounded so it was possible. 'Again because of me…' I rushed to the door, opened it and to my surprise, Sol was fine. But he was bandaged and looked horrible. Yet, he had the nerve to tell me I looked bad. Take a look in the mirror, idiot!
But… but he'd forgiven me. he'd forgiven me and held nothing against me, even though I couldn't forgive myself.
So…
"Thank you Sol."
"You're welcome… Lia."
And that's when it started… that's when I finally made… my first friend. I didn't really attempt to check on him for the next few weeks. But I did make Mama keep track. And when I went to visit him in a while, his mother was making him pull his ears in the sun. It was funny, and I might have laughed.
However, …
"Sol fell in the west cave," Uncle Serec came rushing one afternoon.
"What?" Mama dropped her spoon.
We were in the middle of going through some snacks together. Mama had lately been more of a picky eater than even me.
"How'd he get there?" Mama continued.
"That's what I'd like to know but that's not important. Lin's banging her head against the cave. We can't control her. I know it's too much to ask when," Serec sighed. "Would really help if you were there," he said.
Mama's belly had become really large. She was close… she just told me the other day, it could be any day now.
"Alright," Mama put down her food. "Liani, keep watch."
"Okay…"