3 A Goofy Buisness

Upon returning to the orphanage the old bitch had the nerve to whip us. Unfortunately for Naruto, and the old lady, something I was fed made me very resistant to pain so I didn't feel a thing. Naruto on the other hand was a big cry baby about it as expected. But if i remember right it's around this time he gets kicked out, and gets his own place. That is when I can start fixing all this mess that is his life. He was short as hell when he was younger due to a poor diet, and a number of other factors. So until I can get the freedom to ya know… Murder, and consume my victims, I'll be ensuring Naruto lives a better life. So after the " beating " we went to our room, and began plotting our next big prank.

" Alright the old coot isn't fazed by our antics anymore bro, what should we do? "

" What if we paint the Hokage monument? That would force them all to look at us right Haru? "

" It would… But what happens when we get caught? They will surely make us clean it right? "

" That's a good point bro, what if we sneak into the Hokage office, and mess it all up? "

" Smaller mess, still a good effect. Good thinking bro! How about while messing it up we bring in a bunch of fake paperwork just to make his day that much more miserable? "

" Perfect! Let's get to work! " While in the dark, aided only by a candle we set out to create " Official " looking documents. While crayon, and marker didn't do the best job we feel we made enough to at least spook the old man. Now for the plan? One of us causes a distraction, while the other sneaks into the office. We know the old man always steps out onto the balcony to smoke around 10 Am. Using that we created glitter bombs, and chalk dust bombs to create a sufficient distraction.

" We will have around 5 minutes to wreak havoc inside of the office while everybody is distracted. Now to figure out who does what we should play rock, paper, scissors. "

" Agreed, the winner gets to prank the office. "

Squaring off with a sharp look in our eyes we swung down our hands three times and

ROCK x 2

Shoot.

PAPER x2

ROCK x2

PAPERx2

ROCK PAPER FUCK

" Stupid naruto. I wanted to go in the office. "

Rubbing his finger underneath his nose with a matching shit eating grin he answered " You just need to get better at these childish games I guess. Can't compete with a champion like me! "

" Shut up loser "

" You shut up! "

" No You! "

" No YOU! "

"NO"

"YES"

"NO"

" SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MISCRANTS! "

A baffle of laughter escaped our mouths as we hid all our precious gear for tomorrow's heist. Waking up earlier than the rest we carefully made our way out through the window, and set off towards our goal. It's currently just after sunrise. Planting half the bombs in front of the office was relatively easy as there was nobody out here at this time. Most people are still sleeping, and preparing for the day. A few people had walked through the area, but with Naruto acting as the lookout we just went about acting like kids goofing around. Not a soul suspecting we were up to no good.

POV a dude who knows they are up to no good.

The silver haired man with the dog mask laid lazily across a tree branch easily observing their every move. Fully aware of their plans as he overheard it all last night, and chose to not say anything as this was his sole entertainment after being taken off of active duty. The man had even gone out of his way to distract the individuals who would usually walk through here via a convenient transformation as a construction worker warding off most people from approaching.

Back with the troublemakers.

" Alright, you know the plan, yes? "

" Yes bro, it took us hours to finish setting everything up. Gramps should be coming out for a smoke any second now, and then BOOM! I sneak in with my awesome ninja skills, plant the papers, and draw incriminating things all over his office before sneaking out. "

" Perfect buddy. Perfect! Alright let's go! "

Lord Third, or Gramps as Naruto affectionately called him, came through the balcony doors right on time. Taking a large puff from his pipe he inhaled, and exhaled with a relaxed look which quickly changed into one of stress, as one after another glitter, and smoke bombs went off right in front of his office. His precious garden was an absolute mess, and the design it left was his very own face with an over pronounced nose. It was shitty artwork obviously made by kids, but the coordination between glitter specks was impressive enough to create this " Art ". Flash stepping down Hiruzen quickly found the culprit responsible standing off to the side whistling as if he had nothing to do with it.

Staring down at the young boy filled him with a strange sense of deja vu as he had distinctive features from multiple different clans. In the first place he had bright blonde hair matching that of Naruto. The sole difference being instead of short spiky hair his was longer, and had small curls towards the ends. Secondly, he had the same dark eyes that all Uchia seem to sport. In addition he was physically larger than any other four year old boy I've seen to this point standing well over 6 inches taller than the Akimichi clan heir. Most importantly he doesn't fear me, or show reverence like any other four year old kid would. He treats me the same as Naruto which is refreshing, and worrisome all at once.

" So young Haruko, would you happen to know anything about this? "

A hand gesture clearly showed he was asking about my quality artwork.

" Not the slightest clue Mr. Hokage Gramps. "

" It's just a coincidence you're standing right here then? "

" Of course, I'm not nearly talented enough to capture your likeness so perfectly. "

BOOM

" What was that Haruko? "

" No idea Gramps, you should probably get back to work though. "

With that I moved to turn around, but before I could a hand grabbed the back of my sweatshirt, the wind went whoosh, and then I had a clear view of Naruto covered in paint from a can which exploded in his hands. The mission was a kind of success as the room was an absolute mess, and naruto himself was grinning ear to ear.

" NARUTOOOOOO! "

Yikes I could see his old man veins bulging from his forehead. Time to make my escape. Moving my arms above my head I made to slip out of the sweatshirt, I started slipping out before the Hokage brought it back down without my arms in the holes, and swiftly tied the arms around me before dropping me like a sack of potatoes. Still with my clear view I watched Naruto get the same treatment before Hiruzen observed his office. Another crude painting of him went across the walls, with the famous iccha iccha novel in his hands, and hearts above his head. It was at this moment several people burst through the doors, and took in the situation. Seeing them twist their faces attempting to not laugh as hard as possible, Naruto, and I couldn't keep it in. Bursting with laughter I catapilered my way over to Naruto, and began trying to untie him with my mouth.

Extreme failure as we were both picked up by the Hokage, and oh boy the look on his face! Pure annoyance, and embarrassment. Swiftly cleaning supplies were brought in front of us, and we got a whole earful from the old man before we began cleaning the office. He kept a close eye on us while he began going through his paperwork.

" Naruto, Haurko? "

" Yes? " x2

A small smirk betrayed us as he glared with further annoyance.

" Why is my paperwork filled with fake papers? "

" No idea, gramps! " Naruto stuck his tongue out, and resumed cleaning while I held in my snicker.

" He'll never figure out what's real and what isn't "

" I think he already did, bro haha. "

" Only the obviously fake ones, Haru, he hasn't seen my super special secret copy yet. "

" Huh? You had a realistic one? "

" Super real, he will have no idea! "

" What is it? "

" A letter from the head mistress begging him to send the two of us away to live on our own! "