Darkness embrace

My name is Jack Tooly and, as of today, I am 45 years old. I was given away at an orphanage at birth, and I never had much, or any, support growing up. The orphanage itself was like a jungle, with the strong reigning supreme and the weak left to grovel at their feet. Of course, by strong, I mean the older children. With the orphanage being so poor, there was barely enough food or clothes to go around, so the older kids would eat their fill and then take some of the younger children's food. Despite the fact that I had promised myself I wouldn't do the same, life hit me like a truck and I quickly learned that you either do or don't to make it in this world.

I, like the rarity of the children at the orphanage, managed to survive that hellhole without getting adopted, and somehow made it into the community college at 18. Of course, it wasn't in anyway easy - I had to get a job part-time job at the tender age of 12 and save as much as possible just to be able to afford the admission fees. The government had plans in place to "aid" people our situation, but what they gave barely covered the cost of the small, one-bedroom apartment with a public cubicle shower that I stayed in at the time. This meant I had to continue to work almost every day while in college, trying to earn money for food as well as the tuition. It was a nightmare.

I somehow managed to pull through and get my bachelor's degree in business management and economics, though I did ended up scoring at the lower end of the class. You don't get many chances to study when you're in my situation. After graduating, I found a job at a business enterprise after seven months of searching and going through countless interviews. You can imagine the type of work I managed to find, coming from a small community college and graduating at the bottom of the class - yeah, it was crap. I barely made enough to scrape by, and had to settle for yet another shoddy apartment, though this time, thank the stars, at least I had a bathroom to myself.

I always knew life was not all sunshine and rainbows, but unfortunately it never stopped me from dreaming, even when reality laughed in my face. I dreamed of having a proper house with a pool – I always loved to swim, but river swimming just never quite cut it for me, too cold. I als dreamed of one day owning my own car? Ha! Getting my driver's license was one thing, but saving up to buy a car was like trying to climb Mount Everest with flip-flops. And then there was finding a nice woman to share life's joys and sorrows with. But I could barely take care of myself, let alone another soul.

At least I wasn't a virgin. Growing up in an orphanage surrounded by girls, and with very little supervision, well, let's just say we became quite familiar with certain things at an early age. But as the years went on, I became something of a passionless bum. And by passionless I mean pussyless.

When I realized that my dreams would never come true, I took solace in reading light novels, specifically the Chinese feel-good ones. Imagining myself in the place of those lucky protagonists became something of an addiction for me. They had all I ever wanted: wealth, power, and beautiful women. I couldn't help but sigh thinking about it. Those were the good old days.

You must be wondering why I'm talking as if I'm on my deathbed - well, that's because I am, or rather, a death road. I've just been hit by a truck, at night, on an empty road, and yes, the driver drove off. Since there is no one else in the street right now, it's safe to say I'm going to die.

I'm not really angry, though - I mean, why would I be? It's not like I'm leaving anything or anyone behind. I was going to die someday, so it may as well be now. At least I don't have to live in this shitty life anymore.

The darkness overwhelmed me, and I closed my eyes for the last time.

Or so I thought.