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Reborn as the Clown Prince

Read all Synopsis! Original name: The Clown/Клоун An ordinary student gets into the most famous psychopath of the DC universe and tries to become a hero. -------- Warnings: 1. There is a lot of fluff and the fanfiction atmosphere will be closer to the animated series "Harley Quinn" 2019. 2. There are sex scenes and quite cringe-worthy (there are a couple between the girls), but in general they are hardly enough for ten chapters in one volume. 3. Despite the "System" tag, the system is often mentioned only at first chapters, but after the 12th chapter it practically does not appear even in the form of alerts (I have no task to gain volume stupidly due to repeated stats), besides, the protagonist himself uses it little, preferring independent development. 4. Slow development of the protagonist. -------- Disclaimer: hello everyone, I have to inform you that an unscrupulous translator of my fanfiction has appeared on the site (FanFictionForge (FanFictionPremium): "Reborn as a Joker"). I planned to do the translation myself, but after I finish the second volume. The first volume was completed a year and a half ago. Unfortunately, circumstances forced me to act earlier, so I'm posting all the currently open chapters here. At the moment, 192 chapters in English (DeepL) are for free in the public domain here: https://boosty.to/logri/posts/84a7f749-2050-4d6b-99bc-596965b6eb5c P.S.: at least two translated chapters every day, since I'm still writing the continuation of the story, and I spend about 12 hours on each chapter (in Russian).

Logri · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
200 Chs

Salvation

Apologizing to the green beauty who continued to stare at the bare tree trunks, I pulled out my smartphone and opened the video that had been sent.

Uh, if I'm not mistaken, this is the hallway to Alastor's penthouse. Damn, I sure hope he's not going somewhere unexpected. But it's not critical, because Babs is on duty nearby and in case of anything he can safely knock out the tycoon without even letting him leave the building. I felt I'd given her the laptop controlling the spider-drone for a reason.

Nothing happened in the camera's field of view at first, but then a large shadow flashed at the end of the corridor.

"Damn you!" shrieked the man behind the camera. - Why the fuck did you come to me again? I told you I don't want any part of this! Leave me alone!

"Mr. Winslow, your father would have been pleased to see you at the Purification ceremony. This is the last chance," the invisible interlocutor said in an emotionless, husky voice.

"No, no, and no again, I want nothing to do with that monster," the older man replied firmly. - I refuse your offer.

"That's a shame... I hope you realize that...

"I understand," Alastor rudely interrupted the intruder. - I've already transferred all of the company's assets and my money into the account you provided. All I have left is this penthouse. Leave me alone!

There was a heavy pause, which was soon broken by a hoarse voice:

"All right, I'll tell the master what you said. See you later, Mr. Winslow.

Once again, a large shadow flashed in the frame.

"Fuck!

~Dzang~

Something shattered with a clang, and then the camera in the living room popped up on the screen, and I could see Alastor standing next to the shattered porcelain vase, staring hatefully at the open window.

"Darling," the door to the room opened, and a worried-looking older woman with platinum-colored hair appeared on the threshold. Despite her age, she still had a rather attractive figure, which the beautiful navy blue ball gown could not hide.

"It's okay, Lisa," the man breathed out through clenched teeth, calming down. - We paid them off, they won't hurt us.

"But if they come again.

Alastor walked over to his wife and hugged her gently.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. As soon as the ceremony is over, we'll be out of Gotham in no time. I've already found a buyer for the penthouse, so we won't be out of money," he glanced at the window again, sighing heavily, and then a small smile formed on his face. - Let's go and watch the eclipse. Grigory did a good job of creating a cozy corner just for the two of us.

Elizabeth nodded weakly, accepting her husband's offer and furtively wiping away the tears in her eyes.

The recording paused, and I thought hard.

Purification. That's what the owl assassin said before he died. If you follow the logic, then Alastor got a visit from the claw. Nah, it actually makes sense. The tycoon has the founders of Gotham in his ancestors and is obscenely rich, though not now that he's transferred the company's funds somewhere. But I don't quite understand the moment with the father, who for thirty years already has to feed the worms in the cemetery, and that's if you ignore the fact that he should have been at least a hundred and twenty years old this year. Maybe the ninja was hinting at generational continuity?

"Oracle, why isn't there an image from the living room camera at the beginning of the recording?" I asked, running a fast playback, looking for clues.

"It's obvious, the Claw has disabled it for the duration of his visit.

Hmm, really obvious. What the owl freak didn't realize is that someone else can hack the security systems too. Hehehehehehe, now we have a lead to the Court of Owls, we just need to deal with Grundy and we can start saving Bats.

"Okay, stop," I noticed the date and time in the corner. - This happened fifteen minutes ago?!

"Yes," my companion answered nonchalantly. - I took the liberty of not warning Miss Gordon, for fear that she might not be able to handle the Claw. As much as I would like to find the master, Solomon Grundy is your primary target now.

"Thank you," I thanked the butler sincerely.

The owl ninja didn't finish me off, only due to magic and an advanced body, so I highly doubt Babs can overpower him alone.

~Broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

There was a roar behind me. I turned sharply toward the danger, but instead I saw my favorite cutie waving a chainsaw from ear to ear with a grin, showing it to the dryad.

"Isn't that cool?!" The blonde tried to shout over the running machinery. - With this baby, we can take out zombies in no time! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Yeah, while I was trying to calm the guardian of the Forest with words, Harley decided to demonstrate the seriousness of our intentions by showing off her arsenal. But Abby didn't seem to like chainsaws much, judging by the tense look in her eyes.

"Shut it down!" I'm yelling to the assistant.

"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha. What? I can't hear anything.

"Shut it down!

"What?!

I signaled Harley to finish and pointed at the green beauty who was clearly about to get radical, judging by the spikes growing on her body.

~Vrup~

With one last growl, the machinery stalled.

"Damn it, Abby, I'm sorry!" Harley apologized sincerely, tossing the chainsaw aside. - But there's a dead man in there. You saw the movie with us, and you know what the most effective weapons are against the undead.

"I know, but these things give me unpleasant associations," the dryad twitched her shoulders, removing her barbs.

Suddenly, the guardian of the Forest became tense, resembling a predator ready to claw at the throat of its prey, and a multitude of sharp thorns reappeared on her body, the tips of which glistened with drops of poison.

"He's awakened," she said, keeping her intense gaze on the gloomy trees.

I looked up at the sky, noticing that a solar eclipse had just begun.

"Okay," I clapped my hands together, drawing attention to myself. - We're going in as planned. Abby, hide. You'll only intervene if we're in a pinch.

"Good," the dryad was at the nearest tree in two steps and blended into it as if she wasn't even there.

"Sailor, drive the van away and be ready to fire the cannons as soon as I activate the suppression circle.

"Yavol, - the girl comically saluted and, picking up a couple of napalm grenades from the box, disappeared into the car.

"Mouse, you're on drone control.

Strange...

"Mouse, answer me," a bad feeling crept into my heart. - Little Mouse!

"So it's "Mousey," the speaker suddenly sounded like a painfully familiar voice with deceptively affectionate notes. - I wondered why you were avoiding me so much. Did you find yourself a new toy?

"Cat.

How the fuck did she even get in there?!

"Batman," the thief said with the same intonation.

"Ahem... What did you do to Batgirl?

"Oh, no. It's too late to drink borjomi when your kidneys are gone," I could feel her grinning evilly.

"Ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!" came the wild roar of an awakened Revenant from the depths of the swamps, finally reaching the surface.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, what a bad time to be doing this shit!

"Listen to me. I know I've seriously offended you, but there's an invulnerable dead man coming my way right now. Only Batgirl's actions can take him down.

"Hmmm... I don't recognize you. Where's the backup plan for the backup plan that insures another backup plan?

"Seriously. Let her go... Please," I asked glumly, feeling time slipping through my fingers.

Naturally, I had a plan B, as well as a plan C. With three days' head start, only a lazy person could fail to duplicate the drone's controls, and I was studying various hacking methods, and I needed practice. And I'd tweaked the penthouse ventilation as I'd planned, installing a liter cylinder of gaseous potion in it. But that would only work in two places in the large living space, since the concentrate had to be directed at the target's face for it to work reliably.

Selina went quiet. I had already launched a program on my smartphone, intending to take control of the eight-legged device, when Catwoman deigned to listen to the voice of reason.

"All right, then. I'll meet you on the roof of the Clock Tower. Tomorrow. Nine o'clock tomorrow night. God forbid you're late, you'll wish you'd never been born.

After thirty seconds of tense waiting, a guilty voice from the redhead came over the speaker.

"Sorry, she caught me off guard...

"Mouse, don't worry. The important thing is that everything's normal now. You ready?

"Oh, yeah. Drone's already in position.

"Fine, I'm counting on you.

I interrupted the session and turned around to face the forest, watching the frightened birds circling over the mighty trees in the distance. Now I have to save Bats, because I don't want to mess with that fucker. I've got Harley with the Madness aspect.

 

***

 

Once again he walked forward through the tangled corridors of the marble labyrinth, trying in vain to find a way out. Several days without food, and instead of water some poisoned stuff that fogs his mind. He can't sleep, or he will be attacked by monsters from the darkness that look like huge anthropomorphic owls.

Batman dozed for a moment, leaning his shoulder against the cool wall, as the two monsters pounced on him, leaving a nasty gash on his right side and damaging his mask. One of the lenses fell out, revealing a red eye with burst capillaries.

A frantic gaze slides along the walls, searching for inconspicuous marks left by himself, but the small bloodstains aren't much help as the maze occasionally changes its configuration.

They watch him from the darkness, scrutinizing his every move, waiting for the Dark Knight to collapse to the cold floor, unable to resist his fate any longer. But his will is incredibly strong, his mind and body hardened by a multitude of training beyond human capabilities. In his heart Bruce was grateful to Ra's al Ghul for his survival training; without it he would hardly have survived even a couple of days.

We have to. Go. Keep going.

Each step is difficult, but the man continues to move his feet.

"This place again..." he whispered at the edge of his hearing, staring doomedly at the wall with its many portraits.

This room was no longer of much interest, as he had already had time to scrutinize it on his first two visits.

"Heh," the hero chuckled bitterly, noticing that some things had changed after all.

A picture of him appeared on the wall. The Dark Knight looked at the antique camera standing on a wooden tripod in the center of the room. The last time he'd visited, he'd shattered the fragile equipment after being blinded by a sudden bright flash. Now only the slightly damaged marble floor was a reminder of his rampage.

The man scrutinized the new photo, touching the glass surface of the frame with his clawed paw, noting every detail. The black bags under his eyes, the week-old stubble, the crazed look in his eyes with burst capillaries. And not a trace of feathers that itched terribly.

"The sentence has already been passed, surrender..." a soft caressing whisper, came to his hearing.

"No!

His captors don't even realize they've given him the perfect chance to escape. In a rage, he smashed the camera again, stealthily pulling the magnesium mixture off the stand.

Despite the approaching madness, the hero carefully studied this godforsaken place, so he could not help noticing that the base of the central fountain was made of white marble, not construction marble, which hinted at the presence of an underground river. Now all he had to do was to reach the place and use the TNT plate hidden in the sole of his boot.

Ahead of him was a huge room with many red coffins. Each one had a picture of a smiling child or teenager on it, but Bruce had long ago realized that under the lid, waiting to be discovered, lay the Claws: perfect killers raised by the Court. Five coffins had been opened, but that was always the case, so without lingering, he hurried onward. A hall with names carved in marble, future victims, and finally the right room with the fountain. This place was flooded with bright light, distinguishing it from the rest of the labyrinth. A luxurious pool with the figure of a snow-white owl spreading its wings in the center evoked a sense of serenity.

~Clap-clap-clap-clap~

A lazy clapping sounded above the Gotham protector's head. He froze and looked up, trying in vain to see the unknown man through the blinding light.

Suddenly the spotlights went out, plunging the room into impenetrable darkness for five seconds, during which time the superhero retrieved the explosive plate, and then came back on, illuminating the semicircular box overlooking the labyrinth. In soft velvet armchairs sat about fifty people whose faces were hidden by porcelain masks. The men were dressed in strict suits and the women in elegant evening gowns. But in addition to all this, Bruce could see that right on the walls of the room, huge anthropomorphic owls with clawed paws hung down, staring at him with their eerie yellow eyes.

"Congratulations, Batman," said a man in white robes and black cloak, standing behind a small wooden podium. - Few are honored to perish within the walls of this labyrinth, torn apart by our brethren.

"Aha, a great honor, I'm incredibly happy," the captive said hoarsely, not hiding his sarcasm. The last few days had not been the best of his life.

"Laugh while you can," the man shrugged. - The verdict was long past due, but it couldn't begin until all the participants in the Court of Owls had gathered for the ceremony. You'll be the first Purification victim, and then the others will follow," he said with a chuckle. - I don't see the point in dragging this out. Ladies and gentlemen, let the hunt begin!" The Master pointed his finger at Gotham's protector, and the lone figure in the tattered cloak was immediately attacked by a host of mutants leaping from the walls.

"Bruce rushed toward the fountain, retrieving the explosive powder as he went, but he was almost immediately knocked to the ground by one of the monsters.

A furious mob of owl mutants pounced on the unsupported superhero, but Batman wouldn't be Batman if he couldn't deal with a mob capable of nothing more than random blows.

He rolled backward, dodged the claws, grabbed the monster's paw, pulling it toward him a little, and punched his knuckle sharply in the throat. The next opponent lost an eye, and then his life, when the Dark Knight's blow smashed through his chest.

~Bang! ~

A powerful explosion shook the vault of the labyrinth. A couple of small stones fell from above onto the tribune with the bewildered spectators. The fight stopped.

~Booh! ~

Two seconds later, something huge hit the ceiling, causing it to ripple with cracks.

"Save yourselves!" The terrified man in the owl mask shouted, rushing for the exit of the amphitheater, but he was not in time.

"Ra-a-a-a-a-a," came a distant roar.

~BAM! SCRACK! ~

After another blow, the ceiling did crack, and huge blocks of marble flew down, only to crush most of the secret society members like cockroaches a second later.

"R-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A," a five-meter tall gray creature in brightly colored breeches jumped out of the dust with a furious roar and began spitting its mighty fists at the few survivors.

A dozen seconds later, there was no one left from the main body of the mysterious organization, but the monster didn't stop there. He jumped down and began to genocide the mutants, who began to flee.

Batman himself, with all his desire, could not escape because of the ceiling debris pressing on his leg, but, fortunately, he was not interested in the monster.

"Oh, hello, Bats," said a happy voice over the head of the hero, who was trying in vain to get out of the trap. - What are you doing here?

Not believing what was happening, the Dark Knight looked up, coming across two familiar figures. One boasted green hair, a stylish purple suit with a yellow bowtie and the familiar black cane as a weapon, while the other was dressed in a red and black harlequin outfit and held a metal bat.

 

***Two hours before the fateful meeting***

 

I smiled, looking forward to the fight with Grundy. It wasn't a good thing to be so confident in your abilities, but the Revenant was at a disadvantage. He's essentially a game on which a trap has been set. Once he gets a little farther away from the forest, he'll immediately be stripped of most of his powers by the magic circle. Babs will put Alastor and his wife into a coma, causing the dead man to go into hibernation mode, and then Harley will secure the monster with strong cables. Then all I have to do is pelt it with napalm grenades, destroying the shell, and I'm good to go.

Come to Daddy. The palms of her hands touch the two paths connected to the rune circle.

"He's not coming this way.

"Fuck!" I jumped back, trying in vain to calm the pounding in my throat. - Abby, you can't sneak up on me like that! Wait, what do you mean, "coming the wrong way"?

The dryad waved her hand to the side.

"He'll come out of the woods about a kilometer to the left.

"What? How?" I just couldn't find the words.

Revenants are pretty dumb and try to take the direct route to their goal, but this one either had some brains left if he went straight for the bridge, or it was something else.

"Grab two guns and follow me!

Realizing what kind of ass we were in, I picked up one of the devices and ran to the new rendezvous point, hoping to have time to set up a sort of ambush, while educating the girls that the plan had gone to one place.

A kilometer with sixty pounds on my hump was not something I was planning on doing anytime soon. Good thing I had Abby with me to help a little.

Solomon was in no hurry, walking slowly toward his goal, so we were able to set up the harpoons and camouflage them, but I couldn't draw the rune circle as fast as I wanted to. We'd have to use weaker holy spells, trying to take the numbers. Damn, this sucks.

The cracking of branches was getting closer. Soon there were heavy footsteps with indistinct mutterings, and then the silhouette of a monster appeared between the trees.

"Fucking hell," I cursed, seeing the huge five-foot tall, naked carcass of a cadaverous hue in front of me. - Shitface had obviously miscalculated his size when he'd tried to cosplay Grundy.

"Act only after my command," I warned the girls, pointing one of the guns at the Revenant. - Mouse, come on.

"Done, both targets are asleep," the young heroine reported after a dozen seconds.

Except the monster didn't even think of slowing down, which means it's after another person. I definitely checked the entire family tree and found no more common children of the founders, which means...

"Alastor's father's alive," I said doomedly, staring down at the gray-blue monster. Even if we somehow kill the bastard, he'll be reborn, and stronger than he was before. And the dryad's good attitude after the failure can't be counted on.

Basically, we don't have much to lose. Hell, it's impossible to deal with this thing without a suppression circle, and harpoon cannons won't help much. Well, I've been there.

"Hey, big guy. You're after Alexander Winslow, aren't you?" I shouted, getting ready to flash and then scurry back to the car in case something went wrong.

"Hmpf?" Grundy turned around too quickly for his size, staring at me with black eyes that had no hint of whites or irises. - Yes," he turned away, continuing on his way.

So, purely theoretically, this old dick should be at some ceremony in the Court of Owls right now, so if you follow the monster, you may well stumble upon Bats. But only this mysterious organization is definitely somewhere in the catacombs under the city, and the dead man will stir up the whole Gotham, trying to get to the freaks.

"Wait," I caught up with the immortal. - I can help, but you'll have to wait a bit.

"I've waited too long already," my companion's voice was like the rumbling of rocks. - Get out of my way, bug.

"Wait a minute! If you go into the city, they'll try to hold you up, and your bloodsucker may slip away in the turmoil. Take an airplane, for instance, and you won't be able to get him. You'd have to fucking swim across the ocean.

Grundy stopped and looked at me carefully.

"What are you suggesting?

 

***

 

Fuck, Jay, why the fuck are you always looking for adventure? That was the question I was asking myself as I explained our next move to the sudden ally.

Surprisingly, the Revenant wasn't a mindless zombie. He was a little slow on the uptake, of course, but I was used to that style of communication, thanks to Abby.

The monster perfectly sensed its killer, so our super-team easily managed to determine Alexander's approximate location by triangulation. It's like a search amulet, only it has an opinion and smells like swamp slime.

The hardest part was stuffing the huge carcass into the van and getting Solomon to sit still. Well, it was also hard to find pants in the right size. The clothes of a reanimated dead man had long ago decayed, and the sight of a gray-blue sausage dangling over his head was not a pleasant sight. While my faithful companion and I were dealing with the wrong zombie, Mousey had to swing by the manor and deliver our costumes to Harley and me. What if Grundy suddenly lost his temper in the middle of Gotham? It wouldn't be good if people accidentally found out he'd been taken there by the Knight of Moonlight along with his lovely assistant. So I had to try on some old personas so I could blame it on the First in case of trouble.

I was right, as soon as we got close to the calculated point, the revenant couldn't stand it and simply tore the back of the van, breaking free, and then broke through the asphalt and disappeared into the sewers.

It happened on one of the busy streets, so I mentally thanked myself for my disguise as I went downstairs after the monster.

Following the reanimated dead man through the breaches, Harley and I arrived at an abandoned subway station, which was occupied by some homeless people. But I didn't see the fragrant inhabitants themselves, because they scattered in panic when a monster, straight out of children's horror stories, muttering a famous poem to himself.

"What's the matter?" I asked Grundy, a little out of breath after the race.

"He's downstairs," our ally flared his nostrils menacingly, glaring hatefully at the hard floor.

"If you wait just a few minutes, that problem will be solved. Harley, do you have any explosives on you?

"Naturally, Mr. J!" The blonde responded, pulling several red sticks of dynamite out of her tight pants.