webnovel

Reborn as the Clown Prince

Read all Synopsis! Original name: The Clown/Клоун An ordinary student gets into the most famous psychopath of the DC universe and tries to become a hero. -------- Warnings: 1. There is a lot of fluff and the fanfiction atmosphere will be closer to the animated series "Harley Quinn" 2019. 2. There are sex scenes and quite cringe-worthy (there are a couple between the girls), but in general they are hardly enough for ten chapters in one volume. 3. Despite the "System" tag, the system is often mentioned only at first chapters, but after the 12th chapter it practically does not appear even in the form of alerts (I have no task to gain volume stupidly due to repeated stats), besides, the protagonist himself uses it little, preferring independent development. 4. Slow development of the protagonist. -------- Disclaimer: hello everyone, I have to inform you that an unscrupulous translator of my fanfiction has appeared on the site (FanFictionForge (FanFictionPremium): "Reborn as a Joker"). I planned to do the translation myself, but after I finish the second volume. The first volume was completed a year and a half ago. Unfortunately, circumstances forced me to act earlier, so I'm posting all the currently open chapters here. At the moment, 192 chapters in English (DeepL) are for free in the public domain here: https://boosty.to/logri/posts/84a7f749-2050-4d6b-99bc-596965b6eb5c P.S.: at least two translated chapters every day, since I'm still writing the continuation of the story, and I spend about 12 hours on each chapter (in Russian).

Logri · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
200 Chs

Contract

As the pillar of light disappeared, taking the alien invaders with it, Artemis rushed toward me with a sword.

She'd have been better off throwing herself at Steppenwolf to hold him off a bit until reinforcements arrived.

"What have you done! - She yelled angrily. - You dared to give the Mother Cube to Darkseid's henchman. The queen was right, men are not to be trusted! Now our planet is doomed!

"Hey, lady! Maybe redheads are allowed a little more than mere mortals, but if you don't get that thing away from my boy, I'm gonna shove it up your ass. And believe me, you're not gonna like it. - The blonde pulled out her favorite Glock and aimed it at the aggressive Amazon's head.

"Spok-okay... I... ~Bue~," blood still spurted from her mouth as she tried to reply.

"Mr. J! - Harley almost teleported over to me, giving me a shoulder to lean on and keep me from falling. - What's wrong with you?

By this time the promised help of a hundred heads (I had counted the horses) had reached us, and, judging by their drawn bows, they were obviously in a less than friendly mood. Given that the Amazons' arrows had recently managed to pierce Steppenwolf's armor, which was hardly made of ordinary steel, the threat loomed large.

"Oh, shit... I overstretched a little... I'm fine now... Now... - under the surprised looks of the noble horsewomen and their four-legged transport, I pull out a big glowing box from my pocket. - Is this the shit I'm supposed to give? - I squeeze out a wry grin and throw the artifact into Artemis' hands.

"Yes," she nodded sluggishly, groping incredulously for the missing item. - But how?

"There was a regular copy then, damn... ~bue~ - I vomited blood again.

"You shouldn't have used prana," my faithful assistant gently stroked my back, sharing mana. - You should have used an RPG on that freak, like I saw in your workshop.

"Honey, I'm so glad you have so much faith in my abilities... But the Wolf was too close. And I doubted... that he could be swayed by such a thing, since he'd survived the collapse of the temple into the ocean without a scratch. My insides twisted again, but this time there was no bloody fountain.

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have tried to copy a powerful artifact while putting in all the energy available, including prana and ba-hion.

At the same time, without the addition of "secret ingredients" it would hardly have been possible to deceive Darkseid's henchman, because up to this point I had never had the chance to use doppel magic on magic items. The author strongly recommended to go to this stage, only when the creation of ordinary things will be almost on automatic. And that for copying the magic structure three not the easiest modules are added, and the wizard's energy should get used to certain patterns before that.

Clara could hardly expect that a sorcerer, who had managed to understand not the easiest school, would be such an idiot that he would try to use the weave on something incredibly complicated. After all, judging by the fact that four of the five hundred points promised for defeating the monster were spent on such a feat, not counting a dozen full diamonds and some prana, the Mother Cube is a real continental-level wunderwaffle. Hardly planet-level, or I'd definitely die trying to do the impossible.

Now I have to do the quest somehow, because I don't want to find out what will happen if I fail the task, having already taken most of the reward. Should I call Superman? He'll probably be able to kick the horned monster in one piece if he doesn't slack off.

Though it's even good to have a ba-hion of the "buffer" spent on weaving.

If you remember Gordon's rescue, then I was slowly peeled off, layer by layer. Now it was just the usual red-hot crowbar in my belly, and I must say, despite the bloody vomit, I felt more or less tolerable, especially considering the amount of points I'd spent. Soon I'll probably even be able to stand on my own. Plus, we can't forget about the upside. Not only have I helped the Earth once again, but my understanding of magic has improved a bit. Thanks to true sight, I was able to see how the structure of the charms independently became more complex as divine energy was added. It was a bit like what happened to Zee's weavings when she said the words backwards.

Her insides twisted unpleasantly again, forcing her back from her cozy thoughts into the cold cruel world.

After assessing the situation, I was surprised to note that, having gotten the Cube back, it was as if everyone had forgotten about us. A small part of the squad went to help their friends who were injured by cyberbugs, while the rest of the warriors crowded around the wounded queen. She looked pretty bad, by the way. The horse's head and armor could not hold the powerful blow of the axe, so the woman's body had a terrible diagonal wound, through which the moving insides with a piece of dissected lung peeped. Any other human would have fainted from blood loss or pain, but the Amazons were much stronger than mere mortals.

Harley, catching my eagerness, helped me get closer to listen to the farewell speech.

"...and protect it at all costs," the golden-haired woman said hoarsely, giving her final instructions regarding the magic box.

I don't see any healers around, or even any attempts to bandage the injured, but at least a plantain would be nice!

"Ahem, sorry to intrude," I draw attention to myself.

Everyone in the room turned their heads, and I felt as if I'd been hit by a couple dozen laser sights combined with multiple rocket launchers.

"Speak, mage. For your help, I'm willing-" her face contorted in pain for a moment-"to listen to you.

"I just wanted to know if anyone's going to treat you or not.

"How dare you speak so disrespectfully to our queen! - One of the Amazons grabbed her sword.

"He's just a man... Ahem... He's not good manners," the golden-haired woman reassured her, then looked at me again. - It's twenty minutes to the city, even on the fastest horse, and my body can't take it. I'd rather spend the last minutes of my life among my sisters.

"Czarina...

The faces of the warriors expressed deep sorrow, as if someone was about to die. Ha-ha-ha-ha, but yes.

"Okay, stop, just the last thing I need is a woman's tears," I unhooked myself from Harley and staggered a little toward the injured woman.

"What are you up to? - I was blocked from getting through.

"More help, my ass. I know a few healing spells, so stay out of the way.

"Let me in..." The Amazon leader waved her hand languidly. - You're surprisingly responsive for a man.

"You're too talkative for a half-corpse," I snapped, sitting down next to her. I was in a bad mood after the spending spree, and now I was being bombarded with obvious facts.

"I am supported by magical power, once it runs out, my flesh will quickly return to its true form.

"To the clay? - I clarify, remembering the information on local history.

"Yes, ahem," the woman wheezed and bloody bubbles appeared on her lungs.

"I see, now shut up. Huh, Suratio profunda vulnera," I began to recite a rather complicated spell with a smile, adding prana to it a little at a time.

It hurt, but it was nothing compared to what I'd just been through. And I wasn't planning on going all out. If I succeeded, fine, if I failed, fuck it, the main thing was to get away from the grateful Amazons.

A minute later, the finished weave was absorbed into the quiet queen's body. Slowly, with a nasty crunch, the dislodged rib came back into place, the piece of lung stuck back to the main part as if welded, the flesh shrank a little, and then the process simply froze.

~Tresk~

The eye noted the cracked right arm, which was beginning to resemble dried clay in its structure.

A heavy palm fell on my shoulder, and my hearing caught the faint sound of a check being pulled from my companion's side.

"We are grateful for your help, Mage," one of the guards said sadly. - Unfortunately, only the gods have control over life and death.

"Kha-a-a-ah!" the seemingly dead woman suddenly woke up, gulping for air in a daze.

"Welcome to the real world, Neo," I said in relief, carefully holding the Amazon queen down and not allowing her to disturb her wound.

Question: what's with the stupid habit of trying to jump up and run somewhere right after waking up instead of thoughtfully assessing the situation? Proper characters should be looking at the hospital ceiling (in this case, the cloudless sky) and pondering the meaning of life, not this.

"I spoke to the goddess... She said our planet is in terrible danger..." The warrior breathed convulsively, shocked. Then her gaze stopped darting around and suddenly focused directly on me. - My name is Hippolyta, not Neo.

Somehow it felt like we'd been happily married for five years, and I'd called her by her ex's name during sex. Hmm, although the queen's looks are quite attractive. You could call it predatory beauty, but Diana would be a hundred points ahead of her, and I like the superheroine's figure better, with those delicious thighs. Mm-hmm, I'd bury my face in them. But back to the conversation.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Joker. Don't get too hung up on talking to divine entities. When I got hit on the head by a beam, it was like I was plunged into an abyss, and then I had drug trips.

"No, I was definitely talking to our patroness," the woman moved sluggishly, her face contorted in pain for a moment. Immediately afterward, she tried to touch the wound, but I intercepted her hand in time. Hmm... It was a little unusual that this time no one tried to shout outrage or rattle their weapons.

"You don't want to stick your dirty fingers in an open wound. I don't want all my hard work to go to waste. Hey, do you have a healer in your squad? - I looked at the crowd of Amazons.

The girls looked at each other.

"Priestesses do not leave the city," Artemis replied after a few seconds of silence, continuing to squeeze the Cube, which had stopped glowing.

"I rubbed my eyes gently, because I suspected the facepalm might kill me. My body was still a little shaken up from the shaking. - For now, let's just leave out the fact that you were riding to the rescue of your sisters who were attacked by General Darkseid. Given the personality of the ruler of Apokolips, it's unlikely that his henchmen would be weak and unable to injure anyone. Let's also assume that priestesses need special conditions to heal, and they can only work their magic within the city. But you must have regular medics, right? At least dressing material and first aid skills? - I clarified without much hope, seeing the sincere bewilderment on the faces of the beauties.

After a glance with her battle buddies, one of the guards pulled off her tattered cloak and handed it to me.

"Is something wrong? - She asked, seeing my twitching eye.

"Huh, no. It's fine. Aqua Creatura, tz," the needle stabbed into my stomach again, hinting that I shouldn't overexert myself. I listened to my body and took out a diamond and transferred the power to it, continuing to form the weave.

"Don't think of us as savages," said Hippolyta, who had recovered a little. - The inhabitants of Themyscira are many times stronger, stronger and more resilient than ordinary humans. Even the reborn have high immunity and excellent regeneration. It is usually enough to dress a wound and get to the priestesses, and it is too rare to have such serious cases.

Hearing the name of the island city-state, I almost accidentally destroyed the weave with a sudden surge of mana, but still found the strength to hold the construct together and even refine it carefully:

"The Themyscirae? Aren't they Themyscira?

While I was casting a ball of water, cleaning a piece of cloth from dirt and dust with it, and afterwards bandaging it together with Harley, who was more competent in the matter, Hippolyta was saying some rather entertaining things.

Around the tenth century BC, there really was an island called Themyscira, located in the Ionian Sea. On a par with Atlantis, the kingdom of the Amazons was incredibly advanced, because all its inhabitants were seriously superior to ordinary people. They had super strength, super speed, super endurance, their own school of magic, and immortality! True, it was not absolute, but it granted eternal youth and no regression, which is also pretty cool.

Though, to compare the Amazons with humans, despite the resemblance, would not be quite right, as all the women of the island were created by the gods from clay and the souls of fallen warriors to protect the Earth. They fulfilled their primary task to the fullest when Darkseid invaded this world with his countless legions. Then Atlanteans, Amazons, Olympian gods, as well as humans had to join forces to defeat the invaders and take away from them a portal device consisting of three boxes called the Mother Cubes...

That's right, each box can at least create an incredibly powerful portal, and I don't know how the hell I managed to copy that function. According to Goldilocks, the wolf moved to the island by somehow remotely activating the Cube, but how he created the boom-tube again is a big question, which I still have to deal with thoughtfully.

But back to the story. Despite the fact that the Earthlings managed to win the victory, it came at a very high price, and my new acquaintances, who were on the spearhead of the attack, suffered especially. The gods created exactly two thousand Amazons, and then fell exactly half of them. Not only that, but a couple of centuries later Heracles, at the instigation of Ares, decided to enslave the entire population of Themyscira, turning the proud warriors into his slaves. As a result, minus another five hundred women who died in the bloody battles.

When the mad demigod reached the walls of the city and began to destroy them, killing the defenders in the process, Hippolyta prayed to her creators. Surprisingly, they answered: Heracles was thrown into the sea, and the island was moved to a new place, giving it a new name and surrounding it with powerful charms, hiding it from all ill-wishers. By the way, the goddesses also helped a little with the population, periodically creating new Amazons according to the traditional recipe (clay, plus a suitable soul). But now the new inhabitants of Themyscira were much weaker than their predecessors, because the gods of Olympus due to the lack of believers are experiencing a serious decline. According to rumors, Zeus and several other gods even had to make a deal with some powerful sorcerer and give him their hearts, just to continue living. About this the queen told with a vindictive smile. Artemis, Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, to whom the Amazons pray, are doing better, but not so good, given the weakening of the reborn and the fact that the Steppenwolf had no trouble breaking the spell over the island.

On this not-so-rare note, the story, as well as the first aid, ended, and I finally noticed that Hippolyta's other hand had regained its original color, but was still clay.

Noticing my gaze, she gently stroked the slightly cracked limb.

"It was the price of returning to the world of the living. Your energy wasn't enough, so something had to be sacrificed.

"I see. I think you'll make it to the healers now, and we'll be on our way," I started to get up and almost fell over, feeling dizzy. I'm sure I'll kill myself with such feats.

"Careful," the blonde cutie stopped me from falling again.

"The golden-haired woman struggled to sit up, and then stood up, supported by two of her assistants. The rest of the sisters dispersed quietly, attending to the other wounded and organizing their transportation to the city. - I cannot let the saviors of Themyscira go unrewarded. As queen of the island, I will do my best to honor your every request.

"But the queen...

"Temper your pride, Antiope. Without their help, I'd be dead and Cube would be in Steppenwolf's hands.

"We want to go to the library! - Harley suddenly jumped in.

I look with surprise at the enthusiastic cutie, who had never shown such a strong attraction to books before.

"I'm glad the women of the outside world value knowledge, you will be granted access.

"Heh heh heh," the blonde giggled stupidly, squinting at me with an odd look. "Suspicious."

"And what do you want," the Amazon leader was now addressing me.

"I kind of wanted to get into your library, too," I shrugged. - But since I already have permission, it would be nice to practice with the local warriors. It would be nice to exchange experience, so to speak... Only in a couple of days, because the copying spell and your healing took a lot of life force.

"You are remarkably modest for a man," she nodded graciously. - I'll grant both your requests, and now be your guests. But please don't walk around the island unaccompanied.