Louis's diary

"Words on paper"

"Feelings stored inside"

"Wished that his dear Diary"

"Would not to be found and continue to hide"

Dear Diary,

It feels strange to start it in such a way but what is even more strange is how I found this old memory. I thought I had lost it at Mr and Mrs R's house and was always anxious if someone had read it. But I guess it was always with me just hiding in my closet.

"I wish it had stayed hidden" the mafia king sighed as his pen started to write more words on the paper of his old diary.

As I travelled through the memories of the past I came to realize how much everything has changed. How much I have changed. However there is still one thing which remains unchanged and that is the lack of happiness in my life. The world always had so much joy then why didn't I get my share?.

"Eat,drink and be merry" Louis remembered the epicurean motto.

According to people this was how you were supposed to live life. You live to enjoy the life which you are given once but for me I don't think I ever got to enjoy my life.

Childhood went to waste as Mrs R's always compared me to Nicholas. Teenage years went by in studying trying to store information inside my brain and learn the formulas. Instead of the formulas of squares and cubes I should have been told how to use a gun. And then finally when adulthood came I was made to accept this mafia business. They forced me to become one. It was either I picked that or I would be kicked out of the family. That was what it seemed like. Maybe being disowned from my family would have been better then what life is right now. Perhaps something could have changed.

But for what they did with Renae. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive them. Renae's death made me realise that children aren't always parents weakness.

If children can do anything for the parents then they can also be forced to do a lot of things by the parents.

For what though?

To repay the debt you have on them. The debt of being brought into the world,the dept of dealing with your shinanakins all day,the dept of sacrificing their sleep for you. Sad to know that there's also comes a time when you have to be the sacrifice for them.

I have learned that human's biggest enemies are noone else but humans themselves. But who knew that more than the bullets the words shot from their tongues could hurt someone even more.

"Be more like him"

"Try to do what he does"

"He will always be better"

"I don't care"

These words harm more than any weapon piercing both the outside and inside. Removing the person's smile and then slowly their life.

After that event I started to help girls suffering from abusive parents or families and would later set them free. One of them is now working as a maid in the mansion. I thought that it would be better for her to leave then stay but gosh she is stubborn. I am still wanting to set her free. Maybe I should get her a job somewhere or maybe I should pay her for the work she does. Eventually she will save up some money and then leave. Also she isn't scared of me. The only time I saw fear in her eyes was when we first met. She is clumsy and I also had to get the door fixed and buy a new lamp because of her.

One time I crossed my limits when I thought that she was a spy of Harold and I didn't also apologize for that. My behaviour that day was inappropriate and I might have made her feel uncomfortable. I want to apologize but I don't know how to say sorry now. The word was completely erased from my heart after all that training in the hideout. I trusted her with taking care of William and I do hope that she does her job well and returns back with no complaints.

All of a sudden his pen stopped working and he shook it. It began to write again

Anyways Fredrick informed me that Mr and Mrs R and will be coming to meet me next week. Wonder what they are coming to do after years of silence and being quiet. I will be happy if they regret their actions but if they dare to talk about handing the business to Nicholas then I better practice to hold to the anger inside me.

Parents think that everything they do is right. They should be respected. They should be obeyed. They are the king and queen of the house ofcourse but after the death of the king and queen their children take the throne. Weird how I already took it before they even left.

I don't have anything more to tell except for this gloominess which has made my body it's home. After this I will have to take the guards and go visit Mr Theodor as he has some important things to discuss with me and I suppose that it will be to establish a friendship between us but I doubt if it's really friendship only and he wouldn't try to stab me in the back. To be honest I had planned to divide my entire property between William and Fredrick but knowing how innocent William is and also how Fred would not accept it makes it hard for me.

These two were the only friends I had. The friends who I played with and then became my partners. Me and William were almost the same but he was the happy one amongst us. He was the one who was enjoying his life. That boy was pampered by his parents as he was their only kid and his parents would fulfill his every wish. But those genies weren't ready to grant his last wish. They pushed him into the cruel mafia position and it was no surprise when they realized that he wasn't fit for the position. It was their family business and so they didn't free their son from this curse.

On the other hand Henry matched a little with Nicholas. He was less arrogant than compared to my brother. But their habits were similar. Fredrick was the naughty kid in his family and his parents tried to make him behave but he had no ears for their lectures. As a result of which they sent him to a boarding school. When he came back from there he barely spoke a word or did anything except reading murder mystery books. The boarding school washed away his naughtiness and also killed his imagination. He would find negativity in everything and had turned into a total pessimist. But after some time and talks he was alright. When he told me he wanted to be my partner and work with me I was surprised and tried to tell him that this wasn't right for him but after his continuous insisting I agreed. I had always wanted to ask him where he knew the basics. And by basics I mean the fighting tips and smart brain which to become a mafia many would need to learn. The answer to that question of mine lied in the murder mystery books he used to read. My life was already busy back then and what to say of reading I never even got a chance to read their titles.

About me I can say that as a mafia I think that people might think that Iam

Ruthless, Unkind,Heartless,Merciless,Bad, Dangerous. I might need a dictionary if iam going to list all the bad words here.

My hand hurts now and I feel that I have expressed my deep thoughts enough for today. So I might end my writing on this.

Time goes on and Life goes on

Louis closed his diary and placed it where he kept his books. He stretched his arms. Tired he was but he also knew that he had to go meet Mr Theodor and for that he got up from the bed and went downstairs from where he will leave to meet the man who wants to be his friend or may end up as a foe.