Clarity.

Chapter 4

Bai Shen Ting pov:

My eyes snap open when I let out a cold exhale. I'm covered in cold sweat, my knees still shaking, heart pounding. I look around wanting to see if it was all a dream. I'm still suspicious and paranoid that it was all hallucinations. I slowly get up, my limbs feeling raw, shivering, and then I rub my head and eyes trying to wake up.

I rush to my bathing room area and make for the first bowl of water I see.

I grab a sea sponge and start scrubbing my hands.

I see blood.

No it's not enough, I look around and grab another sea sponge and continue scrubbing.

I can't see.

My eyes are blurry.

It was not until I tried to clean away what was causing my blurry vision that I discovered I was the reason why I couldn't see.

I was crying.

I slide down the wall and hold my shoulders.

Why?

I never once did anything wrong.

The King wanted to tie my family to his due to how envious he was of our riches and I complied.

I had the marriage proposals of richer and stronger kingdoms, powerful and influential families but I complied due to my loyalty.

I saw a poor girl being abused and wanted to be sold off by her father and I rescued her and made her my sister.

Two of the most important people in my life: The seventh prince, my betrothed and my supposed husband slept with my sister, my friend.

My mother was killed and my twin brother became a crippled general.

My father grew white hairs after my mother's death. He never recovered from my mother's death.

What woke me up today was a good reminder.

I had almost grown soft and wanted to consider forgiveness.

No. They would all burn together with me in hell…

I dropped the sponge and bucket, not caring whether my hands were stained with blood or not, I looked in the mirror slowly, the image of my thirty years old scarred face missing an eye with pus and mangled skin was what I saw staring back at me. I smiled and she also smiled back at my five year old self.

The warmth of the sun on my skin feels real,the dew drops on the flowers look real,the cold dawn air in my nose feels real, I am not back there.

I am here.

I am finally back.

I clutch my pendant out of habit but I don't feel it.

It seems my father has not given it to me as of this timeline.

I go back to the bathing pool and climb down into it. It was enormous, the pool could fit ten grown men in it.

Since I was already awake, I might as well get started with the day.

"Young miss?"

Song Mi came in to check from the adjourning room to check what was causing the noise.

"It is alright Song Mi"

Bai Shen Ting wore the robe that was handed to her then sat whilst Song Mi took a towel to dry her hair.

Song Mi sighed and was hesitant to say what was on her mind,

"Speak Song Mi, I can hear you thinking from here"

"Young miss pardon this servant from overstepping but won't this lead to punishment from the old Madam?, The old Madam Bai and concubine Du Shao Lian are both from the Du family".

Song Mi turned and looked sharply at her,

"Song Mi, this is the Bai household,not the Du household".

"I understand, pardon me young miss" Song Mi slapped her mouth, bowed and continued drying her hair.

What Song Mi said was true, the old Madam even after half a century disdained her Du surname. She was not a miss from the nobles in the capital but rather a forgotten noble turned merchant's daughter. She caught the fancy of the Old Bai patriarch and was made a concubine many years ago. But not too long after she married and finally understood the noble rankings, she became obsessed with getting a title and hated those born into titles especially the females and that include Bai Shen Ting and her mother so she would always look for reasons to fault her in private.

In public,the old Madam was known for her kindness and peace loving ways.

Once a month,she would always go to the temple and give out food to the poor and war ravaged victims who stayed at the foot of the temple stairs.

Once a year, for a whole week she would go to the temple and pray for the kingdom's well being and safety. She would refuse to eat meat and would eat what the monks would eat.

Bai Shen Ting found out later in her last life that the reason why the old Madam did all of this was because she was trying to accumulate good fortune and reputation for later when the king was looking for a minister's family to reward.

Bai Shen Ting would never let it happen. It was due to the merits that her grandmother was able to request a marriage of alliance with the kingdom of DaQi's prince all in the name of "peace" for her step sister, Bai Ru Lan.

"Greetings to the young miss, the old Madam invites you for breakfast in her courtyard."

A maid of her grandmother curtsied and announced from the front of her courtyard.

'She is really quick too'.

Shen Ting thought she would wait till mid-day but it seems the old Madam couldn't bear to know that one of her clansmen was being punished without her knowledge.

"Song Mi, fetch my white and pink hanfu."

That hanfu was made from cloud fabric. This was given as a tribute from the kingdom of Da Qi ten years ago before the war started.

Now,effects from the war destroyed many of the cloud silkworms that have become scarce in Da Qi, much more here in Da Liang.

She wore it on purpose.

In the past, her "grandmother" bought tanghulu from the roadside to give to her sisters and female cousin living with them.

She apologized to Shen Ting that the maid had an accident bringing the tanghulu she bought for Bai Shen Ting so it became a norm to exclude her from any gifts.

Bai Shen Ting smiled,if her grandmother wanted to make her feel bad then she'll accompany her to do so.

"Song Mi, get me my pearl hair pins my maternal grandfather gave me and send a messenger to my biǎo gē". *

The place was quiet and silent. No child nor concubine wanted to speak in this place. The maids and mamas were also quiet.

Old Madam Bai was wrought with anger in her heart. That brat had kept her waiting for over an hour.

The tanghulu she bought for everyone was sitting for a long time together with their breakfast, and because she was invited to eat here as the only Di child present,the other children could not start eating yet.

Footsteps could be heard approaching.

"Greetings grandmother, Bai Shen Ting apologizes for being late and would hope grandmother would be magnanimous to forgive this child."

She walked in and performed a perfect curtsy.

The concubines in attendance sneered quietly. By mentioning this they knew Old Madam Bai wouldn't do anything to punish or even reprimand her so as not to stain her reputation with not being patient and kind with children.

"Come in quickly, the food is about to turn cold."

That did not mean the Old Madam would not still subtly blame her.

In her late sixties,Old Madam Bai was looking agile and fit. Although she was not of the upper echelon in nobility,she was still a noble lady and knew how to act and present herself as one.

The only pain she had was not having a son at all.

The current Prime Minister is the son to the former Old Madam Bai who had passed away due to illness whilst she was just a concubine wed to the former prime minister.

After the official Prime Minister and main wife died,the Prime Minister put her name in the ancestry and genealogy book formally recognizing her as a secondary wife of the former master but not as his mother.

This annoyed her a lot, to be honest considering that concubines were never put in the ancestry book and that the Prime Minister did so was a good thing for her but the old Madam Bai is too greedy, wanting more than she deserves.

This is the reason she desperately wants a title for she has it in her head that she is not being properly respected.

"Ting'er, you came late now all the tanghulu I got for all of you is finished"

Shen Ting wanted to laugh at this. The way the old Madam changed the narrative was quick and she still held a grudge and didn't forget to still blame her for being late again.

"Oh grandmother, my maternal cousin bought me fruit tarts,cakes and milk pudding from the imperial kitchen, he said that tanghulu may not agree with my sensitive stomach."

At this statement all the concubines burned with envy, to have the power to request the imperial kitchen chefs cook for you was a big deal. And what she said meant that the tanghulu bought from the streets would be dirty.

Song Mi put the food basket she was holding on the table and one after the other brought out delicious treats packaged for Shen Ting.

Old Madam Bai was jealous,the connections and relations with the royal family she was working hard year after year to get, this brat was born with it.

Each concubine and their child or children had a separate table to eat and only Shen Ting's table was looking lonely for she was the only person. But with the amount of good food and treats on them, her table was looked at frequently by drooling children and envious concubines.

"Still, you shouldn't overeat, although the imperial palace chefs are good,you are still a child and can't consume such amounts of sweets, why don't you share it with your sisters and cousins?."

Of course she would say that. The way Bai Ru Lan had been eyeing her table was too obvious not to notice.

Bai Shen Ting continued eating, acting like she had not heard what the old madam said.

Bai Shen Ting continued eating before coming to a pause "Song Mi, I'm finished eating, you can carry the leftovers to my sisters"

That statement left a bitter taste in their mouths. She indirectly said that only leftovers would be good for them.

Whilst carrying it to their table,Song Mi tripped and fell causing the milk pudding she was carrying to splat all over the floor.

At this sight, Bai Ru Lan started crying loudly causing a ruckus.

Song Mi quickly knelt down and apologized repeatedly.

"It's okay Song Mi, it wasn't meant to be I guess."

Bai Shen Ting stood up bowed with elegance and class drawing attention to her perfect posture,and her dress.

"Grandmother, Shen Ting, thank you for the meal but I must go attend my painting lectures."

"Oh Shen Ting you may go, but before that, your mother Du Shao Lian, why is she being punished? Why would you do that to your elder?."

"Grandmother jests, concubine Du is my father's concubine, not my mother and she overstepped her bounds and broke the Bai's household rules, as a lady of the house,it was my duty to properly correct her lest outsiders make a mockery of this household whilst my mother is not around."

This silenced everything the old Madam had to say in defense or appeal for Du Shao Lian.

Somebody tugged on old madam Bai's robe,

"Grandmother…" and signaled towards Bai Shen Ting with her eyes.

"Yes Shen Ting, your sisters are feeling bored and lonely and I thought that they could join you for your painting classes in the future."

What a joke! The nerve to think that these concubine daughters and their mothers had designs on the painting master her maternal grandfather had poached from another kingdom with wealth.

"Oh grandmother, Shen Ting would have to ask grandfather for that. I will get back to you on that."

"If it is so then don't worry. I wouldn't want you to bother your grandfather about this."

Her grandfather had a very unique personality about being very vocal about things he liked and disliked.

When the king gifted her father bed chamber maids and the old Madam brought concubines for the prime minister, he went to the palace to complain and got another blank signed imperial edict. At this point, people lost count of how many blank edicts were in his possession.

If he heard that the concubine children wanted to be taught by the master he hired for his only beloved granddaughter all hell would break loose.

"If you say so grandmother,I shall take my leave, enjoy your day grandmother"

After she curtsied and left,one by one the concubines with their children tactfully left, giving an excuse or the other.

'crash.'

That was the sound of old Madam Bai smashing her tea cup on the floor.

'That brat!.'

With the fū ren away at the temple,she finally thought she could manage and control the household and even manipulate Shen Ting into asking her teacher without putting her name but that child was acting dumb as if she didn't seem to understand.

Even what she was wearing. It was looking better than the best clothes the old madam had and it was only a normal outfit.

Back in the concubines courtyard,they were all annoyed with envy and hate. Their plans of having a famous master teach their daughters would have been a thing to boast about in public but nobody wanted to be the one to step forward to ask. No one was willing to face the old general's wrath.

biǎo gē: older male cousin via female line.

A/N: Hello lovelies. *Sigh* This was a rather long chapter.

Don't forget to like, comment and refer my story to everyone you know. See you in the next chapter.