A Party in the Past

As soon as I woke up and finished my stretches, Raya took me to the library. She wanted to study for her career path and learn from her peers. Even now, she kept reading earnestly underneath the sunlight. The books on her table increased, turning into a fortress, and she was the princess hiding within.

I, on the other hand, held no bearings in such a stuffy place. While she concentrated on the pages, I had snuck out a window and hid under the shade of a tree. At first, the scenery felt familiar, then it struck me, it was the same spot I rested when I had just arrived in this world. Just like that time, a breeze caught my hair and brought it afloat. A cleansing summer smell—washed flowers and glistening dew from frequent rain—wafted through the air. Bundled clouds, far, far away. Joyful chatter of servants. In my hands, a knife and a block of wood. To my side, many wooden chess pieces, ranging from pawn to king. I silently shaved away.

Agnes asked me, "Wʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ?"

"I'm making chess pieces."

"I ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ," she said in annoyance, "I'ᴍ ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜʏ."

I was close to finishing my 24th piece, a bishop. A willful, but strong vassal, cutting through lines of defense and territory to no end. His head has a scar, one he wears proudly, indicating he only moves diagonally. "You will know when the time comes." I puffed the remaining sawdust away. "But I can tell you it is essential to our plans."

"Aɢᴀɪɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪs ᴅʀɪᴠᴇʟ."

Memory is a mysterious thing and I prided myself on having a decent one, having trained it to remember the most minuscule things. Yet, there were times where I could not control it, and it would lash out, and at the most random of times, show me visions of the past. When I was underneath this tree the first day, the scenery was not in my mind. Instead, my thoughts swirled with my—at that time recent, now it felt so far away—life. 

Now, this garden had turned into an anchor, becoming synonymous with whom I was before. The thoughts flooded in, playing like a movie; If only I could move closer, I could almost touch it, and I felt no need to stop the waves.

Strangely enough, I never remembered the important parts. To my mind came my sister, sitting in front of me, enjoying breakfast. She ate elegantly, hiding her mouth with her hand. Then, she glanced at me, our eyes touched, and she shied away. Her lips moved, yet nothing came out. I heard many things, like the buzzing fan and muffled sounds of the TV, but not her voice.

I went deeper and saw my classmate. The setting was the classroom with only the two of us. She sat away from me, between her fingers a brush and between us a canvas. The evening light gave her an orange glow. She jumped around, almost danced, and sang a song I could not hear. Still, I saw her lasting smile, her bated breaths, and the pink shade of her cheeks as she kept tiptoeing through the desks and chairs. She turned her painting around and I saw the evening sun, the visible brushstrokes capturing an ephemeral time; Its beauty second only to her laughter.

Thinking of night, the first thing that came to me was the blonde woman, not much older than me. She stood underneath a lone street light, wearing a beige coat, a bag in her hands. Her nose was red from the wintry abrasion, and she kept sniffing. She noticed me and walked over. Brushing her hair to the side, she opened her bag, and inside a satchel full of diamonds shone back, gleaming like the stars reflected on ocean water. The woman took my hand and pulled me close. Her face was calm, but I could never read her. She was a girl with secrets, my partner in crime.

I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ ғᴀʟʟ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴢᴇ, ᴡᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡs ᴏғ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇᴅ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ sᴏᴍɴᴀᴍʙᴜʟɪsᴍ), ʙʀɪɴɢɪɴɢ ᴜɴᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀɪsᴛɪᴄ ᴏ̨ᴜɪᴇᴛᴜᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs ɢʀᴀssʟᴀɴᴅ. Hɪs ᴇʏᴇs, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴜsᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴄᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ sʜᴀʀᴘ ʟɪɢʜᴛ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɢʀᴏᴡɴ ᴍᴜᴅᴅʟᴇᴅ, ᴅɪʀᴛʏ, ʜᴀᴢʏ. Hᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ, ᴏɴ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀᴘ ᴏғ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇs, ᴀɢᴀɪɴsᴛ ᴀ ɢɪɢᴀɴᴛɪᴄ ᴄʏᴘʀᴇss, ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ғᴜʟʟ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴏғ sᴏᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛɪɴᴛ . . . ʏᴇᴛ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴏɴ ʜɪs sᴜʀʀᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢs, ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀɴᴄʜᴇs sᴡᴇᴘᴛ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ, ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴀʀᴋʟᴇs ᴏғ sᴀɴᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʙʙ ᴀɴᴅ ғʟᴏᴡ ᴏғ sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ʟɪɢʜᴛ. Wʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴍɪɴᴅ, ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ʙᴏʀɴᴇ—ᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴᴋs—ғʀᴏᴍ ʜɪs ᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇs, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ I ʀᴇᴄᴋᴏɴᴇᴅ ʙᴏʀᴇ ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs sᴄᴇɴᴇ? 

I clenched my fist. One thought after another, bubbled up from the depth of the ocean . . . and I shoved them away. My mission, to reach where the king's children stand, I needed to throw away all liabilities. To become weightless, to emerge out the waters as a new person. I needed to put on an act. A new background, a new personality, a new voice, a new gait, a new character—to fool everyone.

For that, I deleted everything.

I spat out a mouthful of air. "At least temporarily."

I stuffed the handmade chess-pieces into my pocket and climbed back into the library. Rayas' mountain had since then doubled in size. Was she really reading, or just flying through the pages? I came closer and her concentration did not falter. Whatever it was she did, she did not slack off. 

As I stood behind her, I massaged her shoulders. Startled, she let out a shriek and turned her head around. Seeing it was me, she grumbled, "What are you doing?"

"Well," I smiled, "I figured your neck was stiff since you fell asleep outside Allard's room. When I saw you back there, I thought you were doing some extreme yoga. That couldn't have been pleasant."

"Whose fault do you think it is?"

"That's why I'm making it up to you." I pressed the ball of my thumbs into her back. She shivered slightly. "Also, with the extra baggage on the front, you must get sore shoulders all the time, no?"

She smacked my hands away. "Enough, I don't need your help."

I lifted my palms into the air. "Okay then, how about you massage me?"

She moved one eyebrow up. "What, why?"

"I could use one, and since you don't want to receive one, you could at least give one," I told her.

She waited for me to say I was joking, but I wasn't. After a short pause, she sighed in defeat. "Fine, you can continue."

The library here was bigger than the one back in the D'Anele mansion. However, it was so sectioned off that it appeared tiny. Where Raya sat and I stood, the walls were surrounded by shelves, with only a small doorway leading to another bookshelf. The smell of old books and dust mingled together. No one else was here. No noise could be heard; Only the faint pages turning, rang gently.

Raya stopped moving. "Don't you usually like reading books? I don't wish to hold you up on doing so."

"I'm done already. I've read up on the world, alchemy, and religion (or, it was more like Agnes read to me). You could say I've gotten a rudimentary grasp of these fields now. Say, do you know of the seven Archangels?"

"Of course I do," she answered and counted with her fingers. "Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Raguel, Zerachiel, and Remiel. I guess names change depending on who you ask, but that's what Grandfather taught me with his magic. In the end, I never really followed his ideals though."

"Interesting isn't it?" I placed more strength into my palms. She had a tight knot right below her trapezius. "Did you know they bore the same names in another world? I wonder what that means."

"You mean in heaven? Why would they not bear the same title?"

"No, no, the world I am referring to is no such grand place." I paused. "Anyway, how are your studies coming along."

"It's fine." She scribbled something down; They looked like runes to me. "The beginning of learning is always easy, so it is hard to tell, but I imagine this is a good pace."

"You know, reading is fine and all, but . . ." I stopped my massage and rested my head on her neck. ". . . you will never become a fully-fledged judge just through theorems."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Now, what's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm saying, you could never understand the human heart just from words." I pressed my cheek against hers. "Listen, I told you to follow your desires, but I will not let you become one of those brain-dead judges who do everything by the book. The world is not so black and white for you to pass judgment this halfheartedly."

She faced me. "I don't get it. What else do you want me to do then? There's nowhere else I could learn. This is what everyone does; Why do I need to change my way when it clearly works?"

"That's a fair point. All right then. When twilight breaks, I will take you to a real place of learning, out of this sterile environment."

She closed the last book. "I can't wait."

Raya returned everything to its proper place and we exited the library together. Right as we went through the door, Leila and her friends intercepted us. I was reminded of my proclamation underneath the tree and immediately went into another character, but then realized there was no need for much change with them.

"Your Archduchess Agnes and Granddaughter of Duke D'Anele, Raya." Leila bowed full of grace, and her friends followed. "We meet again."

"No need for stiff formalities." Raya and I returned the gesture. "What a coincidence, right?"

Leila suddenly blushed. "Not at all. Rumor was that I could find you here. We wished to see for ourselves but were just caught right before entering the library."

"Always up to the newest information, I see."

She smiled. "A lady with grace knows her surroundings," she said. Normally, her arrogant words would earn the ire of her surroundings (as it well happens with me), yet, due to her exceptional manners and splendid posture, she only gathered admiration. It seemed natural to think her words were not to brag, but to teach.

"So, what matters do you bring with you?"

"I wanted to invite you for a cup of tea. I hope you two do not mind?"

"Not at all, lead the way," I said.

And thus she did, Raya and I followed her to the gazebo from yesterday. Leila brewed an excellent tea and poured everyone a cup. Meanwhile, some braver souls struck a conversation with me. There were new and old faces alike. The one talking to me was an old one.

"Miss Agnes, do you remember me?"

"May, right? I believe we met yesterday." She was the youngest of the group.

The girl shook her head. "No, we've met before already. Around two years ago—or was it three—I saw you reading 'The Rose Maiden' under the shades. It was one of my favorite books, but I couldn't find time to ask you for your opinions!"

"Iᴛ sᴜᴄᴋᴇᴅ," Agnes mumbled in the back. "Tᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴡʜɪᴍsɪᴄᴀʟ ʟᴏᴠᴇ."

Raya joked, "As if a girl like her would remember anyone."

I ignored both. "It's one of my favorite books too," I said. "Especially the climax."

May's eyes glistened in happiness. "Right? The way Lisette went against her father and told him that the Rose Maiden was in fact her, was such a thrill to read. Even though she was such a shy girl at the beginning . . ."

A new girl jumped into our talk. "What are you two talking about? What book? Tell me the story!"

"Humph. Read it for yourself," May shoved her away.

"Come on now Miss May," Leila tussled the girl's hair. "That's not how a noble lady should behave. The book is about a baron's daughter named Lisette, who was invited to the most prestigious ball in her country. Yet, because she was so shy, she went in with an alias, the rose maiden, who later on became the talk of the town. Many distinguished families, even princes from foreign countries, were looking for this elusive figure and asking her hand for marriage."

The girls listened in wonder. One opened her mouth to say, "What a beautiful premise! I want to meet a prince like that too."

"I really wish to attend a ball, one unlike any other. Maybe under the grand full moon, in the most prestigious mansion, the House of Venus. Imagine, a lover between your arms, sipping wine at the balcony, while soft string music plays in the background."

"There's no way anyone, save for the most affluent family heads could afford to rent that place. And these old geezers know of no fun. At most, a duke's daughter might celebrate their birthday there," another girl was quick to cool the mood.

"Yes, still, I'd love to don a mask and have fun with no worries of status."

"Well, 'The Rose Maiden' was originally about a woman letting loose," May explained.

Everyone began talking about the imaginary ball with imaginary boys. They daydreamed of their ideal partner, forgetting the fiance's they've already been paired with. Was this the only topic girls cared about? I didn't quite understand.

Leila pulled me aside and whispered, "Agnes, may I ask you something?"

"You may, though I don't know if I have the answer."

She moved to my ear. "Could you tell me why His Majesty gave you the title of an Archduke?"

Oh yes, that was the question bound to come. Though I suppose no one would ever dare question His Majesty, one could not help wonder why the bastard of society, who had sunk to the bottom of the well, would suddenly become the brightest star. Such fortune, even heaven would feel envious.

"I'd be glad to answer, but first I want to ask you something too." I closed one eye. "Could you give me the names of the most wealthy families. Preferably those with incredible treasures?"

Leila seemed confused. "I do know some, but why would you need that info?"

I rested my index on my lips. "Just to see whom to invite."

"Wait," she got noticeably louder, "you could not possibly think to—"

Her voice startled the other girls and caught their attention. They were interested to see what could get the graceful Leila rattled. I nodded with a smile.

"In a week's time, I plan to host a party at the House of Venus to celebrate my title. Let's make it a masked one, where you have no need to worry over your status. I formally invite you all to come. I assure you it will be a night you will never forget."