14 Ling Luo's Deep Guilt
"Stay away from me!"
Qin Yu's scream felt like a sharp knife stabbing directly into Ling Luo's heart.
It was even more painful than the scratches and bruises left behind by Qin Yu's intense struggle.
Ling Luo couldn't help but feel distressed and hurt when she saw that Qin You genuinely tried to push her away.
Why did she suddenly become like this?
She couldn't find the reason for Qin Yu's sudden outburst, but she could somehow sense that the younger girl's action wasn't due to a feeling of repulsion but instead an attempt to keep something precious from crumbling.
Oh god, what on earth actually happened to her?
Every time Qin Yu squirmed in her arms and showed a slight resistance, Ling Luo became more and more frustrated.
But she also had no idea what to do in this situation.
So, she could only wait patiently for Qin Yu to calm down while gently patting the younger girl's back and rubbing her chin against her hair, hoping that it could help settle her emotions.
To be honest, she was really curious to know what triggered the change in this girl who used to be very indifferent and emotionless—just like a robot who was pretending to be a human.
But this morning was the first time she had seen Qin Yu show a trace of emotion in such a long time.
The girl shed a happy tear after having her favourite breakfast.
Ling Luo also recalled that this cute, yet pitiable girl curled up in her bedroom, a bit helpless and sorrowful.
Despite not all of them being positive emotions, Ling Luo was genuinely happy for Qin Yu.
After all, she finally broke out of the curse that plagued her for almost fifteen years.
Yes, fifteen years.
These fifteen years have been hard for Qin Yu.
And so it went for Ling Luo.
After all, she was the one who made the lovely girl she adored so much live like a mindless puppet, and the latter was not even aware that she had been growing up in such a pitiful life.
Because of her carelessness and selfishness, fifteen years ago, she nearly lost the light of her life.
She would never forget that summer.
That week, Qin Yu's parents had warned them not to play outside the mansion.
The reason was that someone who had hostility against the Qin family had shown suspicious behaviour near their mansion in the past several days, so they had to keep their guards up.
Of course, they didn't feel that they should or needed to tell this kind of thing to their daughter, nor did they tell this matter to Ling Luo.
As parents, they felt that it wasn't an appropriate time to tell their innocent girls the dark side of the world.
Unfortunately, they forget that their lovable daughter wasn't exactly an obedient kid.
That week was also a week before Qin Yu's sixth birthday, and a week after that was Ling Luo's turn to celebrate her 11th birthday.
Every year they would exchange presents with each other.
Of course, Qin Yu, who was still a baby several years prior, wouldn't be able to get the present on her own, so her parents prepared her gift. Ling Luo, on the other hand, was already big enough to have her own pocket money, so she always bought the presents herself.
This year, however, Qin Yu got her red packet for the first time, so she was really eager to buy a birthday present for her big sister on her own.
But her parents' restrictions poured cold water on her enthusiasm.
Even after she acted coquettish and cute, her parents still refused to let her go.
For Qin Yu, who was always spoiled rotten by her parents and treated like a princess who had her every whim and wishes fulfilled, this was quite a blow.
After all, a 5-year-old girl had yet to know that there was even a more frightening and scarier thing in the outside world than the fictional monster under her bed.
Little girl Qin Yu refused to give up.
So, she asked her big sister, Ling Luo, who apparently had no resistance to her adorableness, to go sneaking out downtown with her.
Ling Luo was hesitant at first, but because of Qin Yu's persistent coaxing and a reward of one sweet kiss on the cheek, she gave in and reluctantly agreed to the little devil's demand.
Little did she know that it would become the greatest regret of her life.
They successfully sneaked out of the mansion through a secret path and spent nearly half a day in the town to buy the present.
On their return trip to the mansion, tragedy befell them.
Several rough men in black suits and masks blocked their path. Behind them, a white van was waiting in an inconspicuous corner.
Ling Luo, who had a little bit of awareness of the real world, quickly sensed that these men came bearing ill will and that something really bad would happen to them if they fell into these men's hands.
Ling Luo's brain was working at full throttle to find a solution to escape from this predicament while little Qin Yu was already hiding behind her with tears and snot on her face. She was really frightened by these big and mean men.
But what could two little girls do to several adults?
In the end, Ling Luo was beaten up and Qin Yu was taken away from her.
This was the first time she felt such helplessness after being abandoned by her mother. Excruciating pain in her body knocked her unconscious not long after the suspicious men left with Qin Yu.
She woke up three days later, lying on a hospital bed.
How much did she wish that this was just a nightmare?
She closed her eyes in hope that when she opened them again, Qin Yu would be there beside her, smiling at her while she happily snuffed out the candle on her birthday cake.
But the reality was such a cruel mistress.
Qin Yu had been kidnapped, and all that happened was her fault.
She was weak and, thus, she couldn't protect the most important person in her life.
When Qin Yu's parents came to visit her, she had expected that they would curse her and blame her for their daughter's misfortune. It wasn't even strange that they decided to abandon her at that moment.
Unexpectedly, they didn't. There was only genuine worry and concern in their eyes when they looked at her sorry state. They really treated her like their own daughter.
But instead of feeling relieved, she felt like a heavy boulder was pressed against her heart.
The guilty feeling in her heart slowly suffocated her.
Her mother's words once again rang in her mind like a curse.
She was worthless.
She was a mistake.
She truly didn't deserve to live in this world.
The darkness that had been suppressed in the deepest part of her heart crawled out like a hungry beast who couldn't wait to devour her.
She thought that after being surrounded by the light, the cold darkness would never approach her again, but it turned out that it only disguised itself as a shadow, waiting for a perfect time to swallow her whole.
After coming back to the mansion, Ling Luo locked herself in her room, refusing contact with anyone else. For a whole week, a sorrowful cry could be heard every night.
It was only after the news that Qin Yu had been rescued a couple of weeks later that she finally stepped out of her room with a face full of expectation.
She felt that her world had almost lost all of its colours but was gradually regaining its lustre.
Alas, the cruel reality once again smashed her expectations to pieces.
What awaited her wasn't the same girl that she used to know—the bundle of joy and warm as the sun, but a cold, unfeeling, beautiful doll.
It turned out that something was done to Qin Yu during the missing period that made her lose most of her memory and also her emotions.
Even after requesting the aid of the best medical expert in the country, Qin Yu's recovery didn't seem to have made any significant progress. They even claimed that there was no hope for her in this lifetime.
So, when Ling Luo found out about Qin Yu's change this morning, she could hardly contain the happiness in her heart. But she was also painfully aware that such a miracle would come at a hefty price. She didn't know what it was, but she was ready to bear it with Qin Yu, even at the cost of her life.
It's just that, seeing Qin Yu go mad, she wished she could take her place instead and bore the agony she was going through right now.
In the end, all she could give were some words of comfort.
