Me and Mister who stinks take the school entrance tests.

Thursday, April 6, 2006

08h00am

It's already been a few days since the idiot's model airplane brought me back from Los Angeles and as soon as I landed, I ran to my lovely Mommy's arms who was waiting for me on the runway.

I was thinking of resuming my quiet little life but, it was without counting on the funny thoughts of the idiot...

Convinced that I would end up being a little wild girl, he persuaded Mommy that for my sake, enrolling me in a normal school would be a very good thing.

At the time, I wasn't very happy so I shouted:

"Hey, idiot, I'm prettier than Mowgli."

Even if I've been sulking since that day, I must confess that I do not really have an opinion on this question because during the day, Mommy is not at home but goes to New York to do her job as Editor.

Time passes quickly when you are 6 years old and this morning, with a worried Mister who stinks, we will discover the joys of school at school because for the moment, I only know school at home.

For me to be pretty, Sally and I opted for a white dress with a yellow vest and a ponytail style hairstyle with a white and yellow ribbon to remind both clothes.

After a little glance at my mirror and I told Sally who was looking at me with envy:

"It's not by envying me that you'll be prettier."

As usual, she simulated indifference but I know that in her embittered heart, Sally is jealous.

This morning, I could read a deep sadness in my Mommy's eyes. Yet she gave me a hugggggggge kiss of love before she left for work.

She very much regrets not being able to drive me but her work is also very important, so, I do not blame her.

However, I would have loved my lovely Mommy to be here today.

Me and Mister who stinks discussed this for a long time and we agreed:

Work seems to be a very bad thing.

"Jeff let's go for John M. Marshall Elementary School. Mommy said it was a great school. What do you think about it Jeff?"

Jeff starts my car... Yes it's my personal car and Jeff the driver looks at me in the rearview mirror.

"Certainly young miss, she is recognized as one of the best Elementary Schools in the country."

Oooh, so when I come out of it, I'll certainly be very smart.

"But Jeff, I'm in 1st grade, so I'm one of the youngest. It's not funny to be the dwarf lost in the great forest."

Jeff has always been very nice. To cheer me up, after a little wink, he smiles sweetly at me.

"Prove to them that you are smarter than others so they will put you in 2nd grade, young miss."

Is it possible?

I must do my best during my general knowledge exam.

"Thanks Jeff! Catches my flying kisses. Say, the school is far from here?"

Huhuhu, even though it's not very safe to let go of the wheel, I'm glad Jeff raised his hand to catch my flying kisses.

"We'll be there in about fifteen minutes, young miss."

I stick my head against the window and look at the countryside which still retains some traces of the frost that fell this morning.

Here is sea and countryside, there is nothing else.

My only neighbor is an old mister who lives down the hill on which is our home. Before the house of neighbor, from the window of my room, I can see some houses, but they are far away and other than that, well, there's nothing.

Sometimes I dream of Los Angeles, Maï, Joey and everything else. Like all of all those weird people I saw on the sidewalks though. It's useless, these big sidewalks on the other side of the world seem inaccessible to me.

Here around the house, there is nobody and even less sidewalks.

So sad, it's so sad to live here that I want to move but mommy loves the calm so I keep my smile and to please her, I tell her that I too love the wild savana.

If mommy is happy, I'll be happy for her and that's it.

"Young miss, we are coming. As agreed, a person from the school is waiting for you in front of the entrance to welcome you and guide you. I wish you a good day, young miss."

A rather colorful building presents itself to my eyes. Stones, red and white, burgundy and blue metal and a 40 year old lady in front of the gate.

Huhuhu, it stings the eyes!

"Come on Mister who stinks, let's show them that in addition to being pretty, our brains are also very full . Have a good day Jeff. Have a good day, the men in black handicapped. Come Mister who stincks, hop, we're going down."

I lean my head to the side and I observe a little this place.

I've never been to school but I'm sure I will like have fun here.

"Hello, you must be Lara Eve is not it? How beautiful you are. I have never seen such a beautiful little girl in my life. I'm Mrs. Elliot, the principal school of John M. Marshall Elementary School. You're not too worried about your first day at a school, Lara Eve?"

Why does she talk like that? Does she have a big piece of gum stuck in her cheeks?

"Madam, although I'm only 6 years old, I'm not stupid so thank you for not to talk to me like I'm a little bit dumb. I want to take the tests now, because me, I don't want to be in the little ones classroom."

Huhuhu, she feels stupid the little children's friend.

"Well, I see... In this case, let's not waste time in civility. Lara Eve, come with me, we'll start the tests immediately."

The children's friend lead me into a classroom full of ugly drawings, in which a young teacher distributes me sheets that I have to fill. as if these tests were for short-sighted people, it's written very big.

Hum, only a dozen questions per sheet and six sheets in total.

Question 1: How many does 6 + 7?

Question 2: What is the correct spelling of the word (beautiful?) : bautifull - beautifull - Beautiful.

Eh?

Let's see the others questions.

What a sad observation, Mister who stinks, all the questions are as simple or slightly more complicated but, all seem a little silly to me.

It's a joke?

"Madam, you have not confused questions with those for kindergarten or nursery?"

Why this astonished face? It must be admitted that these questions are not really difficult.

"I know it can't be easy for you who have never been to school yet but, do what you can Lara Eve. I'll pick them up in an hour."

This answer is not very good is not it, Mister who stinks.

I don't know if this woman has any small personal problems but she is not reliable at all.

"At woooooork ... That's done."

Pupupu, I'm bored...

You too Mister who stinks? What? You want me to sing you a little song. Sure, just ask.

Blue, blue, blue,

the walls of the classroom are blue, blue, blue.

white, white, white,

the ceiling of the classroom is white, white, white.

Ugly, ugly, ugly,

the children's drawings are, ugly, ugly, ugly.

Big, big, big,

The teacher's nose...

"Lara Eve, Lara Eve, Miss Lara Eve Prescott, if you're done, bring me your questionnaire."

That woman must not appreciate pretty music.

You know Mister who stinks, I think that after this silly little series of questions, I regressed mentally.

"Here, here are my questions, but teacher, I imagine that if my classmates have this level, talking to them will be difficult."

"What did you say to Lara Eve?"

She hears badly?

Ohhh, I see, she's old. So, I will speak louder then.

"I said! If my classmates has this level, they must be like my daddy, real idiots. Say teacher, isn't this school the garbage can of the region?"

This teacher with puckered eyes, who bites the corner of her lip, doesn't seem very friendly to me.

"You will can say that when I will check your answers. In the meantime sit down please."

"Useless, all my answers are correct. Mister who stinks has already to check my answers and do not underestimate his intelligence."

Oh, miss not friendly seems a little angry.

"We'll see. Sit down please."

"We'll see. Sit down, please, fufufu. You take too much time teacher , I'm bored when I'm not doing anything."

"Lara Eve is trying to answer that."

Hihi, it's fun, she tests me personally. I have to win. I hate to lose. 6X8?

"48, I won, huhuhu. Again, again, I want mores questions, teacher not friendly."

It's not good to bite your nails, miss not friendly.

"Good, since Miss Prescott is smarter than everyone else, try to answer this series of questions."

Oooh, it's getting harder.

"For question two I have the right to write on the sheet because it's too hard to do it with head? Thank you. So it's 84, 5 and 7. Yeya, I won again."

"Lara Eve, you just solve an equation to 1 unknown. You had to think, this equation was the simplest, but you solved it at 6 years old. How did you study before?"

"Um, with a particular teacher, in my parents' books and on the internet. You see, I'm right when I say that your questions are too simple."

"Lara Eve, you should be more diplomatic or you could hurt others with your behavior. Indeed, these questions were too simple for you. Our school's policy is to put the child in the class of their grade level and that's where it's embarrassing. I have to see the school principal to decide which class you will go to. Come with me."

The truth is, I know a lot of strange things and yet I don't even know where it comes from. It doesn't matter, because if it can keep me out of the small class, it's a very good thing.

"Come Mister who stinks, it looks like miss not friendly is finally acknowledging our greatness, huhuhu."

"Did you say something, Miss prescott?"