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Real Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

What happens after we die? Apparently we are shipped off to market to be reincarnated. In my case, I lucked out. I’ve been chosen to act as a beta tester for a whole artificial copy of the World of Warcraft, equipped with a moderately accelerated ability to learn magic and a collection of amulets that could condition their wearers to love me. No leveling, but I’ve got everything I need if I don’t do anything too stupid. Heavy on brainwashing, heavy on scheming, heavy on plot, modest on smut, and with far too many characters and far too many chapters, I proudly present this offering unto you, good reader. Based in the World of Warcraft and drawing heavily from SwiftRosenthal’s Waifu catalog, this is a harem building, mind control heavy, extremely nerdy story that I started on and it just got really out of hand.

Jerynboe · Video Games
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294 Chs

Light and Shadows

5/26 morning

I woke up for breakfast with Lividia, and we discussed her future over melted cheese on bread. Well, that's what I had. She had most of a zhevra, shipped in from the Barrens after Dremuus cut off a few flank steaks for the hunting team. Watching Lividia progress nearly as quickly as I did last night, without the benefits of soul talent, convinced me that she needed to be a priestess, and I needed to explain why she wasn't getting the shiny new powers I promised her for free. Lucky me, I had a different shiny toy to offer her.

Light's Wrath was a long red and black staff with an elaborately spiky headpiece. I remembered that the artifact weapons had a variety of different appearances; if this wasn't the default, The Company had given me the most Scarlet Crusade flavored version of it.

"This is called Light's Wrath. It's incredibly powerful. Too powerful for most people to use, in fact. It will backfire and kill its wielder if it isn't properly controlled." Lividia's eyes lit up and she stared at it hungrily. "I had been planning on using it myself, once I remastered the light. After seeing you advance so quickly yesterday, I realized you had the potential to use it even more effectively than I could."

"Really, my king? I know I'm incredible, but you are perfect. You don't need to flatter me. I know my worth." She was completely serious; her ego was so big that if she thought I was buttering her up, she saw it as redundant.

I grinned at her. "I might be able to become great at anything, but I need time to grow into it. The light isn't my primary goal right now, but if you focus on becoming as powerful as possible and truly dominating this staff, I'm certain you will become even more magnificent. Further, the fact that you are unkillable will allow you to push the staff to its limits without fear."

"Of course. I'll die a thousand times for you, my king." She said it with such a warm smile, too,despite the Zhevra blood running down her chin.

"Well, you might have to, but for now I will have you training directly under Sally. You will need to call her by her title and act as a proper acolyte while you are at the monastery. I'll adjust the settings on your amulet to make it easier on you, but you shouldn't be spending much time doing menial labor or anything."

"Oh? I'll be a crusader? That sounds like fun. Should I adjust my visage?"

I thought about it. "The clothes, maybe. But I happen to like your face and body."

"Oh? How much?" A wicked smile was spreading across her face.

I got distracted at that point, but I can definitely tell you that the Archdruid template didn't come up again, and Lividia's reluctance to go to the Monastery had nothing to do with not wanting to work.

••••••••••

I went to the Twilight Grove after some impromptu morning fun times, intent on getting proper training as a hunter. Caledra wasn't the best hunter in my retinue; Dremuus was better and Nathanos was far better, but she was a hell of a lot better at it than I was, and she was available. I could go hunting with Dremuus later.

While I waited for Caledra to get ready, I checked today's budget. It was more generous than yesterday's, as more high elves continued to trickle in and fewer people had to go abroad to fight. Talaada was running herself ragged, but I had just barely enough to purchase a hunter's hall and train one wisp and one archer.

Archers were the basic rank and file troops of the sentinel army in Warcraft 3. They weren't particularly impressive, but they had a degree of resistance to magic and missile attacks and could shadowmeld at night, like me. It would be more of a proof of concept than anything else, but I thought it would be good to have at least one of each unit I could build, just so that I knew what to expect before I started mass producing anything. Tomorrow I could train a huntress, and see how that pans out, then see what the hell happens when I train a glaive thrower.

I chose one of the blank slate worgen Vanessa had trained to join the Scarlet Crusade. I figured that a combat style that didn't include hulking out and turning into a wolf would serve them well while infiltrating an organization that was at perpetual war with its neighbors. When Vanessa presented me with four busty human girls, I didn't even question it; I'm pretty sure the majority of shroomed worgen had been men, but whatever. They seemed loyal and happy enough, and more importantly they still seemed to have functioning brains.

I chose the one that already had straight black hair, essentially because she looked the most like the generic archer unit to start with. When I gave the command, she knelt in front of the rooted ancient of war and it began chanting and waving its arms in abstract patterns.

While she was taught how to be an archer in a magically accelerated way, so was I. Now, I've never picked up archery before, but I've heard that it was generally agreed to be pretty difficult to master. All y'all people expending years of effort to hone your craft can suck it because I got shockingly good at it almost immediately. Doubling up on the effectiveness of Martial Talent by being trained in something I had a rival for was really, really great.

With that said, I didn't instantly master it. I could fairly reliably hit a small target thirty yards away within half an hour of practice, but Caledra was pretty quick to deflate my ego by reminding me of the rather large difference between target shooting and reliably landing a shot in an actual combat situation. We kept practicing with a progression of bows with increasing draw strength, and after only two hours I could hit a target fairly reliably at 800 feet. A little shy of 250 meters for you non-Americans, if the unit converter on my amulet can be trusted.

We also learned, to my distress, that only my moonblade could serve as a conduit for Archaeus. If I put the bow into my inventory I could summon infinite arrows (as long as I immediately fired them), but those arrows would not explode no matter how hard I tried. Alas, my dreams of a personal rocket launcher with a 30 second cooldown would have to wait.

Once Caledra was convinced that I wouldn't learn anything more from repeatedly firing my bow, which happened at around the same time that my heroic muscles were starting to actually feel the burn, she switched over to the more mystical part of the class. Archery was all well and good, but a ranger didn't simply shoot a bow. They became an extension of the natural world, a mystical apex predator.

This mostly took the form of the hunter sharpening and expanding their senses. She taught me how to attune my mind to animals; they were usually the easiest target for the basic tracking spell all hunters used. It let me sense all animals above a certain size in my general vicinity; that size limit is important, as without it the information can be pretty overwhelming. I don't think I'll be hunting animals too often, but if I do I'll be able to blink right to them.

It was all very interesting, at least compared to retreading my old build, but I get antsy doing the same thing for too long. I needed to do some field work. I checked my app and smiled. By the light, I should have bought Jewels of Discord ages ago. I teleported to Imriss near Darnassus; I had presents to pass out.

••••••••••

The ease with which I was able to get in to talk to Fandral Staghelm, leader of the Cenarion Circle, was honestly hilarious. I introduced myself as Erius of the Green Dragonflight to a guard near the gates of Darnassus and was immediately accepted as a VIP. There was no way she could have known about the arrangement with Tyrande, but the reward for service was already in effect here. When I asked for directions, she escorted me to the Cenarion enclave personally after telling her captain who I was.

When I entered the large building made of still living wood, I was asked to wait for a time by a man with navy blue hair, which I assented to graciously. After an annoyingly long span of time I was escorted to Fandral's office. Being trusted meant that they assumed I had a valid reason, and even though Fandral probably didn't want to talk to me he couldn't wiggle out of it without losing face.

Fandral was on my capture list for several reasons. Obviously, he was the leader of the Cenarion Circle in Malfurion's absence. That put him near the top on its own, what with Livin the Emerald Dream. He is also corrupted by the old gods or the nightmare (possibly both) at some point; I didn't remember when exactly, but it's before the Cataclysm, at least. If he's not already crazy, best to head it off. If he is, he's an active threat only slightly less influential than Onyxia had been.

Of course, the biggest reason for me coming right to him is this: he is in the catalog. I pulled out an amulet as I walked into his office, putting on a grave expression. The jewel immediately drew his eyes. "Sir. I've been sent to deliver this to you. It's an amulet designed to ward off the influence of the old gods. It's imperative that these are distributed to every member of the Circle as quickly as possible." I shoved it into his hand.

I was genuinely worried for a moment when he stared at it instead of putting it on immediately. I could sense, like with Dena, that the compulsion wasn't absolute. He could resist if he put his all into it. An inner conflict raged for a few moments, but he had no reason to believe it would do him any harm. Even if it was only for optics, he needed to put it on.

After thirty awkward seconds, he latched it around his neck. I decided to be preemptive. "Now you need to be careful. Sometimes people have been known to act erratically for a few days, if the old gods or the nightmare takes an interest in them. If that happens, I suggest secluded meditation."

"I'll keep it in mind." He hid it well, but he was very upset with me. Oh well. I was winning this fight anyway.

••••••••••

I had one more stop left in Darnassus; a distinct shot in the dark. I went to the Temple of Elune. In the spirit of experimentation, I asked a priestess if there was any way that I could leave an offering for Elune herself. She seemed bemused, but told me that the bowl of water in front of the statue of Elune was the place for such offerings.

I dropped an amulet there. I figured that the worst case scenario was that Tyrande or some other important night elf would come by and find it, then be drawn in by the enticing aura. The best case scenario was that Elune herself would investigate and feel compelled to put it on. The chances of someone other than Tyrande getting some kind of divine warning about it seemed minimal; I honestly assume Elune is on another planet somewhere, only occasionally glancing over at Azeroth when she has a minute or when her favorite elf called for help directly. Fighting void lords or something most of the time. This might explode in my face, but I'm pretty sure the night elven community would give me the benefit of the doubt. I'd earned it.