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Real Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

What happens after we die? Apparently we are shipped off to market to be reincarnated. In my case, I lucked out. I’ve been chosen to act as a beta tester for a whole artificial copy of the World of Warcraft, equipped with a moderately accelerated ability to learn magic and a collection of amulets that could condition their wearers to love me. No leveling, but I’ve got everything I need if I don’t do anything too stupid. Heavy on brainwashing, heavy on scheming, heavy on plot, modest on smut, and with far too many characters and far too many chapters, I proudly present this offering unto you, good reader. Based in the World of Warcraft and drawing heavily from SwiftRosenthal’s Waifu catalog, this is a harem building, mind control heavy, extremely nerdy story that I started on and it just got really out of hand.

Jerynboe · Video Games
Not enough ratings
294 Chs

Licking Wounds

5/6 approaching noon

We gathered up our dead, his name was Kor, and made our way south along the road. I got the impression that the team hadn't lost anyone up to this point. Thankfully no gnolls or dragons tried to ambush us along the road; most of us were physically fine but morale was low.

The worst part, in a way, was that we had done pretty well. We'd fought superior troops and they had lost seven, including an officer and a dragon, to our two rank and file. I walked over to the one handed girl; she was cradling a stump. Healing magic made it stop bleeding but the hand wasn't coming back by most conventional methods. "Your name, soldier?"

"Yanca, sir." She seemed shell shocked. I really couldn't blame her.

"You fought bravely. I'll get you your hand back. For now, wear this." I took off my amulet, putting it around her neck myself. "It'll serve as a mark of honor; show it to Lady Elerian and she will know what it means. If you still want to fight when you've recovered, I'd be happy to have you in the Dragon Raiders: my personal troops. If not, you've earned any position we can find for you." That was about the most I could bring myself to do. I sure as hell didn't want to be the one telling Kor's family that he died a hero. I'd let Auffrey do that.

The special attention to their injured comrade did seem to have an effect on the team, not to mention the possibility of a healed hand had on Yanca. She seemed awestruck; the loss of the hand had just been sinking in and here I was promising a new one. It would cost me a necklace, and this short girl with muddy brown hair and a bent nose was not someone I'd pick for her looks, but she'd fought for me and gotten herself hurt, so I'd do what I could for her. I didn't have so many people under me that I'd ignore something like that.

We got back to Lakeshire to find that the other side of the battle hadn't gone much better. In fact, it was worse. Anetta and I were immediately directed to the medical tents, in my case entirely on the weight of me wearing the vestments. We spent a few hours keeping everyone that had made it back alive along with the two local chaplains and a visiting Night Elf Druid.

I picked up the story in bits and pieces while I worked. Apparently the Blackrock orcs had seen them coming, and they'd been ambushed by several dozen orcs. The local garrison was down from eighty to fifty, and of the survivors almost half had injuries that wouldn't easily go away with basic healing magic. They'd given as good as they got, but they hadn't managed to take down Tharil'zun, who had been leading the ambush. There had been as many orcish casualties as human, but ultimately a victory for the defenders since the Lakeshire forces hadn't managed to accomplish anything before being driven back.

When I got back to the inn, I was surprised to find the Lions in much better cheer, drinking around the main table. Auffrey ran up to me. "Erich! They identified the officer we killed when I turned in the body! It was Gath'Ilzogg, their warlord!"

"What? Seriously?"

"Yes; we think so. Our best guess is that he committed too many forces to the ambush, so he decided to lead the attack on us himself, leaving behind a small group to man the walls."

"That's… stupid?"

"Yes, but you saw how he fought, and his dragon companion caught most of us off guard. If you and Drusilla hadn't been there we would have all died without a single casualty on their side. But since you were here, the Rampant Lions accomplished enough to be offered a contract to shore up defenses. Room, board, equipment, and a fairly substantial stipend of five gold per month plus wages. Should we take it?"

Uhh. "Give me a day to consider it." It definitely seemed appealing in some ways, but it would commit me to Redridge with my largest group of soldiers. This whole place just seemed like a sticky mess, and not one I really wanted to get directly involved with. I didn't even want Auffrey stuck here; she should be in Stormwind schmoozing on my behalf.

On the other hand, if I had an established contract and branding, recruitment outside of my retinue might be easier. I could park Annetta here just fine, and then maybe I could install someone else as commander of the Rampant Lions? Having a respectable organization to schmooze for could help Auffrey's credibility quite a lot. People donate to groups that are visibly doing things.

I decided to relax for a bit while I considered my options. I borrowed Annetta's necklace so I could use the app, and looked in my mission log to see that my next moderate mission had instantly populated. Oh to have the reach necessary to do more than one of these in a day.

Mrglrrlglmrr

Harass Urgmrg'll, a murloc on the SE shore of the swamp of sorrows, until he retaliates with violence or theft. He must retaliate against someone not of your retinue, or you will be penalized.

Reward 1 credit, wild defense

Alright. Gaslighting murlocs now, are we? I mean, I'll do it if I have time, but it's a bit out of the way. I haven't even managed to get to Stormwind for An Intervention, and that would theoretically be pretty easy if I could just find the time.

I checked Tessa; still a couple hours away from capture. Hmm. I should probably do something with Mary. She was extremely narcissistic; maybe I could use that? I didn't think I'd be missing much by making large changes, to be perfectly honest. I had two obediences and two disobediences to allocate.

Attributing her happiness and good fortune to Erich's benevolence: maximum affirmation

Attempting to please Erich with her appearance or actions: euphoria

Considering anyone's opinion, including her own, before Erich's: Great Shame

Displeasing Erich: shame

She'd be a shadow of herself, functionally obsessed with serving me, but she was already a shadow obsessed with lost beauty. At least now she'd have a fairly clear path to happiness.

I wasn't sure how I'd handle the orc women in my inventory. They were pretty tough, at least on par with Tessa, so I wanted them under my thumb. I was thinking I might use one as a testing dummy for Lillibeth based capture, assuming I could find the time.

I got a popup, informing me that I'd been given 4 gold, 37 silver, and a mission ticket. Good job Tony. Very reliable. I needed to give him some kind of reward. Maybe some commissioned armor, or the night watch gauntlets? Or cash. Cash is good.

The new minor mission was for Redridge, of course.

Underbelly Scales

Gather 6 pristine black dragon underbelly scales and trade them to Verner Osgood in Lakeshire.

Reward: mission ticket.

A bit morbid. That is the dragon's skin. I might ask Lividia about those scales. If it was equivalent to shaving someone's head or even ripping out their fingernails I might consider it. I have the rest of the day after all.

"Uh. Bossman. I think we have a problem." Tony's deep bass voice crackled out of my amulet. There was panic in his voice, and when I checked the map, he wasn't in northeast Elwynn. He was in Raven Hill. Of course. When it rains it pours.