2.3

"Don't mess with me, woman! You want a punch to that pretty little face?!"

"Do not get ahead of yourself, peasant. Those of low character enjoy appropriately lowly fates."

Several voices argued, and three men surrounded a lone woman in the narrow alley, cutting off her avenues of escape.

This was a stereotypical street punk encounter, but what left a burning impression on Subaru was the striking appearance of the girl who repulsed the atmosphere hanging over the cramped alley.

Her hair was a radiant orange like the sun itself, flowing through a single barrette before spilling down her back. Her dress was blood crimson, and above all, the overwhelming beauty of the girl herself shone in her sordid surroundings. Even untrained eyes could tell at a glance that the jewelry on her neck, ears, and fingers were of the highest quality. Her full outfit, coordinated from top to bottom, had to be worth at least a hundred times the money Subaru had on him. And yet, all that extravagant jewelry was incomparable to her face.

She had red, defiant eyes. Her faintly pink lips emphasized the hue of her skin, white as the purest snow. One might spend an entire lifetime and fortune in search of such beauty and never find it. Subaru realized all over again how often this world defied his idea of common sense.

The girl crossed her arms in a calm posture that only accentuated her bountiful breasts. He couldn't just stand back and watch while her attitude raised the men's hackles ever higher.

"—H-heya! Sorry to keep you waiting, honey!"

Subaru immediately raised a hand and wedged himself into the middle of the action. Laughing by himself as he interrupted the surprised trio, Subaru put his hands together in supplication. "It seems that she's caused you a little trouble, but could you do me favor and let it slide? I'm sure you can tell just by looking at her, but the girl is a little…y'know…in the head. You get me?"

Her celebrity-like style practically screamed "Rob me, please!" and she was hanging around the alleyways in a city with questionable levels of law enforcement. What sane person would be so reckless?

Subaru asserted to the stunned men, "So that's how it is!" and grasped the girl's hand.

"Mm…!"

"Hey, let's move on before you cause the good boys here any more trouble. Let's do like we promised today and feed each other sweets, just the two of…"

Subaru quickly laid things out, casting her in the role he'd assigned Emilia in his fantasies, aiming to get her out of there as fast as possible. However…

"Uhh?"

"Do not…touch me so freely!"

She put her other hand on top of Subaru's, twisting her body to yank the boy forward. A moment after he realized he'd lost his hold on her wrist, his face slammed right into the wall.

"Wht th hll?!"

"Goodness, I take a step outside and this happens? Commoners drooling all over me…"

As he stood back up, Subaru glowered at her, as if finding her words beyond comprehension.

"Play along, damn it! That's the time-honored method of saving a girl from street punks! You're supposed to catch on to these things!"

"I do not know what you mean. I simply do as I please."

"A woman who slams your face into the wall is the worst kind of first meeting, you know?!"

Not only had she not picked up on his attempt to extricate her, but she treated him as a pervert. The pain and humiliation made him regret exercising his limited courage. Thinking that the men must find it hilarious, Subaru turned toward their pitying gazes again.

"Hey, wait a minute, I remember you guys."

Subaru tilted his head with the bad feeling that he was reliving a prior crisis. Subaru compared the faces of the men before him against the ones in his memory, clapping his hands together when a light suddenly came on.

"Ah, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest. Eh, wait, no way. Does this city have any other punks besides the three of you?!"

Of course he remembered them. These were the Three Stooges he'd encountered on the first day of his summoning. Having experienced death at their hands once already, Subaru regarded them with caution. But…

"I'm more depressed than anything else. Don't you guys have any other way to make a living?"

The three men looked at one another and began to talk, oddly relaxed about Subaru's presence.

"First he sticks his nose in, gets his face smashed on a wall, and now he says he remembers. He bonkers?"

"Hey, I don't wanna mess with him. You deal with him."

"I don't wanna, either. Why don't we just shiv him somewhere?"

With the supposed thieves having finally lost all vestiges of belligerence, the silent girl broke the atmosphere.

"Oh my, so irresolute. Are you a bunch of little girls? If so, adorn yourselves in a manner suitable for my eyes. Yes, some fine jewelry on your burly, hairy bodies would make for quite a sight."

The girl put a hand over her mouth, ripping into them with a look of complete contempt. For an instant, the men did not understand what she had said to them. A moment later, they seethed as one.

"Don't mess with me, bitch!"

"Who do you think you are, girl?!"

"What's with the high and mighty talk, huh?!"

Subaru chimed in. "You're seriously off your rocker! We oughta spank into your girly butt the fact that we're guys—wait, why am I jumping in with these idiots?!"

Subaru was surprised at himself for impulsively taking part in a four-man gang. He was acutely aware that blame for the incident lay on the girl's side, too.

"So I get where you guys are coming from, but I'm not turning back now. Besides, I'm carrying my own grudge from the first day we met."

"I dunno what's with that little bitch, but what's the deal with you, shit face?"

Apparently they didn't remember Subaru at all, a pretty meager reaction considering Emilia had sent them packing with magic, they'd suffered a crushing three on one defeat at Subaru's hands, and they'd knifed Subaru to death sometime after that.

"Well, none of those events happened in this world, so all they'd remember here is… Oh yeah, the good-looking guy showing up?"

"—! Hey, I remember him! From an alley off Market Street a little while back…"

"Oh, that one! The brat with a screw loose! He hasn't changed one bit, huh?"

"It's really him. The clothes are different, so I didn't recognize 'im!"

When realization came over Dumb's face, Dumber and Dumbest followed in short order. Though Subaru was no fan of how they'd characterized him, he clapped to applaud their effort.

"Good, good, I'm glad you remember me. So since you know me, how about you let this slide?"

"Are you nuts? We like you way less than someone we don't know. Just 'cause it's three-on-two instead of three-on-one doesn't change a thing."

Even though Subaru hoped to bluff his way through the scene, the willful girl paid no heed to his plans whatsoever.

"Correction. It is not three-versus-two, it is three-versus-one-versus-one."

"Can you shut up for a bit?!"

He wished he could have gone back in time five minutes and told himself not to bother, but the die had been cast. Besides, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest weren't patient types. Watching the temperature in their eyes dropping, Subaru knew it was only a matter of time before there'd be blood.

"…No choice, then. I really didn't want to resort to this, but…"

"Ahh? Would you stop messin' around already? What the hell can you—"

"I'll have you know, I know Mr. Reinhard, guys. Reinhard and I are best buds. If I yell, he's gonna come running right over!"

"—Wha?!"

This was his trump card, "The Fox Invoking the Lion," and it worked wonders. The mention of Reinhard's name scared the trio witless.

The effect was immediate, and Subaru forced himself to act like a big shot to cow them further.

"So what'll it be, guys? One shout and he'll make mincemeat out of you with his bare hands."

It was a desperate bluff, but the men gritted their teeth resentfully.

"W-we'll let you. This time."

"Remember this, it's not like you beat us or anything!"

"And it's not like we're scared of Reinhard's name or anything!"

The men immediately fled the alley, their weak, stereotypical parting shots only enhancing their petty crook image. Only when they had completely gone did Subaru exhale deeply.

Somehow he'd ridden the crisis out.

Now if he could only get the girl to soften just a little—

"What? Are those the eyes of a beggar? You shall receive nothing from me, commoner."

"They are not. Well, would it kill you to thank me for saving you at least?"

"Save?"

The girl inclined her head slightly with a mystified expression.

She closed her eyes, sinking into thought, and let out a small sigh when she arrived at an answer.

"So that prattling of yours earlier was meant to save me. Mm, I had not noticed."

"You didn't notice?! This sets new standards for dense, you know?!"

"Do not misunderstand. No difficulty would have befallen me even without your help. I can only marvel at your taking pride in resolving something that was not a problem to begin with."

"I don't know what you mean, so what do you mean? I mean what, like, okay, you're super-strong, so you'd have been fine even if I hadn't saved you?"

"Not at all. It is far simpler.—This world is composed solely for my convenience. Nothing occurs that is not to my benefit. It is thanks to me that I was saved, yet you attempt to claim this as your own exploit. Have you no shame at stealing credit from another?"

With one blatant forward thrust of her bountiful breasts, the girl was asserting, as if it was natural, as if it was obvious, as if it was common sense—that she was absolute.

The way her eyes radiated like an arrogant sun made Subaru keenly aware that this was someone he absolutely should not associate himself with whatsoever.

"Th-that so. My bad for being too big for my britches. Sorry to interrupt. Bye now."

He determined it was best to agree with such a person as much as possible—not provoke her, just nod enthusiastically, avoid any defiance, and do a quick about-face away from her.

But an unexpected call came from behind, and Subaru cursed his feet for stopping.

"—Wait."

"Wh-what?"

"What is in that bag there? Show me."

The girl strolled around him, nodding to indicate that Subaru should put down the bag. He didn't want to oblige, but defying her would only prolong things, so Subaru reluctantly opened the bag and showed its contents—a mountain of ripe, red fruit.

"I do not recognize them. These fruits… What are they?"

"They're, um, abbles. The fruit of knowledge. Never seen one before?"

Blinking at his reply, the girl snorted as she looked at Subaru like he was an imbecile.

"You lie. Do not make me laugh. Abbles are white, understand? I have absolutely never seen fruits such as these."

Astonished, Subaru replied, "Well, they're white when you peel them…"

It was the girl's turn to stare blankly.

He remarked, "Wait, don't tell me you've never seen an abble that hasn't been peeled…?"

"Mm, I have indeed never seen one that was not at the dinner table.—Very well. Hand them over."

Nodding in satisfaction, the girl audaciously demanded he give up his the abbles.

He'd saved the girl from a robbery only for the girl to attempt robbery on him.

Subaru wanted to see Emilia again. He wished Rem were healing him that moment.

"Hand them over. I shall split one open and see for myself. Or is it only lies that dribble from your lips?"

"…Handle with care, okay?"

Judging resistance to be the fool's choice, Subaru took an abble out of the bag and placed it in her hand. The girl took the abble, turning it around as if studying the sensation upon her palm.

Then, her left hand flashed toward the abble—neatly severing it vertically and horizontally into four equal pieces.

The girl licked the fruit juice off her fingers, satisfied at the cross section.

"Sweet and sour… Certainly, this is the taste of an abble. I will spare your life."

"Spare my… No, never mind. Anyway, you're satisfied now, I take it?"

"Ab-so-lute-ly not!!"

Her statement, crossing the line from arrogant behavior to tyrannical, made even Subaru erupt in indignation.

"You don't even care that you sliced one up out of the blue. Why do I have to give you all of them? These abbles aren't just abbles. They're the bonds between two men!"

"Enough prattle. How about this?"

The girl pointed at the bag, her lips cracking into a wry smile.

"We shall wager for them."

"—Wager?"

"Yes, a simple wager. Something easy, flipping a coin and guessing whether it is heads or tails. A single abble shall rest upon each attempt. How about it?"

She was proposing a contest, but all Subaru could do was laugh at her suggestion.

"You just say the darndest things. Why would I agree to that in the first place? There's nothing in that gamble for me. I can just run like heck out of here!"

"Of course, I shall have something worth winning at the ready. Let's see…"

The girl touched her tongue to her lips as she sank into thought. She shifted her bewitching eyes toward Subaru, lifting up her ample bosom with her crossed arms.

"Should you win the wager, you may touch my breasts. How about it?"

Subaru sighed at length and shook his head at her offering up her own body as a gambling chip. The way she offered herself in a wager without a single reflection on the consequences of losing indicated the kind of personality that ruined gamblers' lives.

No doubt she thought that her beauty allowed her to seduce any man setting eyes on her. He thought her worldview was regrettable and rather sad.

The girl gave Subaru a slightly suspicious glance, perhaps wondering what was taking him so long.

With that gaze bearing down on him, Subaru told her exactly what he thought.

"You need to take better care of yourself. That's crazy talk… And you can't seduce me with that look!"

—And so, Subaru found himself still in the alley, having lost seven straight bets.

"That makes seven wins for me. There are only three abbles left, you know?"

"No way! You're robbing me blind!"