12.4.8

By the time he arrived at the tomb, Subaru's body no longer felt the cold.

He had a cavity for a left eye, and the vision of his right was dying bit by bit. But he thought nothing of the pain.

In his dull, leaden thought process, the image of a single girl flickered.

Stepping into the corridor of dry stone, Subaru headed deeper, deeper within. And there he found—

"—Subaru?"

At the back of the corridor was a stone room filled with a faint blue light. From there, someone called his name.

Invited by the voice, his legs dragged him forward, and the person standing in the center of the stone room gazed at Subaru and said, "Subaru, it really is you! Goodness, where have you been? I was worried!"

As she spoke, Emilia rushed over in a small run and grasped both his hands.

Wearing a pouty look, Emilia proceeded to pull Subaru's hands against her own chest. As gentle softness and body temperature blended together, she gazed at him with upturned eyes.

"…Are you tired by any chance?"

"Yeah… I might be just a little tired…"

"Tee-hee, is that so? Well, in that case…"

Nodding, Emilia smiled with redness dying her cheeks. From there, she bent her knees on the spot, leaned on her hip, folded her legs under her, and gave her white thighs a couple of pats.

"…A…lap pillow, huh?"

"Yes. Subaru, you just love my lap pillow, don't you? You've told me as much. I remember."

Emilia proudly made the proposal with only a tiny hint of a blush. Though it took Subaru a little longer, he also sat down on the spot, indulging in her generosity as he laid his head upon her soft thighs. Right away, the sensation of his hair elicited a sweet murmur of "mmm," but Emilia immediately began stroking Subaru's head.

"How many times does this make that I've offered Subaru my lap as a pillow anyway?"

"Who knows…third time, maybe? I think I was a real wreck every time."

"I am happy to indulge Subaru like this, but you know, spoiled children get their hair teased…"

Teasing his forelocks, tickling his forehead with her fingers, Emilia was in high spirits as she did as she pleased to Subaru.

Because Emilia wore that adorable expression, not even a smidgeon of an urge to brush her fingers aside arose.

—Besides, he had neither the willpower nor physical endurance to do so. Most of what should have been in his belly had already spilled out anyway.

"_______"

Subaru was in a sorry state _______almost unbearable to look at.

The bite wound in his hip had reached his intestines. Of the fingers on the right hand he'd used to swipe away a leaping rabbit, only the thumb really remained. Below his waist, countless deep gashes had left the bone visible, and from which too much blood had escaped.

That he'd made it that far with his fraying mind was the result of tenacity bordering on obsession and the freezing cold slowing the metabolism of his body. But even that bargain-bin miracle had finally reached its limit.

"Subaru, are you sleepy?

"Just a…a tiny bit, yeah. Ahhh, it's all right, it's all right… I can do this, I can do this…"

"Really? You're not forcing yourself? I mean, Subaru, you always do reckless things for someone else's sake… I mean, even Subaru understands that about Subaru, but it really makes me worry."

"I'm…all…right…"

"I'm a little conflicted about it. I want Subaru to do reckless things just for me…but I don't want to see Subaru pretending not to see other people… Sorry, I'm very selfish, huh?"

Emilia piled words upon words in quick succession. Her voice grew distant.

Unlike the snow-buried grounds of the Sanctuary, the tomb interior retained a moderate amount of heat. This thawed Subaru's still-battered flesh, and his bleeding commenced once more. The pool of blood on the stone floor broadened, and the blood Subaru was coughing splattered onto Emilia's cheek. But Emilia paid the blood no mind.

"Hey, Subaru, are you listening? There's so, so, soooooo much that I want to talk to you about. So please let me be by your side. Listen to my voice. Let me speak, 'kay?"

She wasn't ignoring him. Emilia hadn't noticed—not Subaru's state, nor the blood on her cheek.

Subaru was firmly reflected in her violet eyes. But reality didn't show up in them.

Emilia didn't see what was wrong with Subaru. Nor did she notice the change in the Sanctuary, the gradually approaching end, or much of anything else for that matter. —However, perhaps the same was true of Subaru.

"_______"

Subaru should have been doing his best to get Emilia out of the Sanctuary.

The Great Rabbit was already burying the exterior of the tomb. It probably would not be long before they surged inside. If they did, just like with Roswaal, not even one scrap of Emilia would be left behind.

That would mean Emilia's death—but even knowing this, Subaru did not tell Emilia to run.

He could not escape from his self-centered desire to be at Emilia's side for the little time he had left.

Roswaal's words and grand death, the regrets he harbored for Ram's and Garfiel's deaths, the uncertainty of how Petra and Frederica had been taken, his inability to save Rem and Beatrice; these were killing Subaru.

—Trapped between a sense of loss and a sense of loneliness, Subaru wanted to vanish, and not a moment too soon.

As the world began to go white, his consciousness and his soul were being whittled away from it, bit by tiny bit.

Strength drained from his limbs, and sensation vanished from his dying flesh. Emilia, not realizing that Subaru was dying, would be the only one left.

—Here, he was going to leave Emilia behind? Emilia, who no longer had anyone else on whom to depend.

"Ah—"

Even if he wanted to regret it, it was too late. It was too late for everything.

His voice refused to come out. Light vanished from his black eyes.

Not noticing this, thinking Subaru had merely fallen silent, Emilia tilted her neck in adorable fashion.

Then she abruptly smiled, gently bringing her face closer, and—

"_______"

—kissed the silent Subaru's lips.

—The taste of her first kiss was the cold taste of death.