12.4.6

Subaru stood in a daze amid that incomprehensible scene.

Ram had sunken into a pool of blood; Garfiel had lost his life from his skull being crushed. As the two lay atop each other, Roswaal—he who had murdered both—stood astride their corpses, calmly gazing Subaru's way.

The incredible physical feat he had witnessed left Subaru unable to even speak. Realizing that Subaru was gawking, Roswaal stared at Subaru with his yellow eye alone as he said, "To believe a magic user cannot engage in unarmed combat is to fall prey to prejudice, you seeee. It is the sort of pitfall even Witches are known to miss. You should remember for future reference."

Perhaps he meant it as honest advice, but Roswaal's lecture, made with a raised finger, left Subaru horrified.

Certainly, he was shocked. That Roswaal's unarmed combat technique was eye-catching was the simple truth. Comparing that shock to what he felt at seeing the pair's sudden deaths was difficult.

And yet, he could not comprehend how Roswaal could smile pleasantly, not letting it bother him.

"Wh-why…?"

"Mm? Why what?"

"Why did you kill th...? Why did you kill Ram…eh? Even Garfiel's…"

"Because Garfiel was an impediment to speaking with you. I did a terrible thing to Ram…but her cooperation was indispensable for getting Garfiel out of the way. Had she not created an opening, even my odds of victory would have been quite poor."

"—Huh?"

Shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal, he came right out and plainly confessed his murderous intentions. The contents flew into Subaru, sailing right over his sentiments of anger, drawing out an unconscious breath.

It was an absurd answer for an absurd situation. It was an absurd comment about an absurd fate. What the hell was going on?

"An unexpected reaction. The Subaru that I know is a boy who would see nothing beyond this situation, fly into a rage, and even try to grab hold of me. —Am I wrong, Subaru Natsuki?"

"What are you trying to say? You're a shitty, psychopathic bastard… There's no way in hell I can…!"

"Forgive me or the like? You do not require language such as that. You should be more honest in facing your own heart. That is the 'you' I desire, the 'you' that I have always, alwaaaays desired."

"—!! Stop, looking at me with that eye! The hell! The hell is wrong with you?!"

During those words, Roswaal had continued looking at Subaru with his left eye alone. The intent gaze of that lone yellow iris made him feel queasy, like something was clawing at the core of his psyche. Hence, his voice had gone ragged.

"You murdered two people! And that ain't all! I'm not talking about just this! Before, that's right, before when you were talking about the Witch Cult, too! You've been giving me the slip over and over—"

"—Over and over. Yes, over and over, Subaru."

Subaru shuddered, feeling an awful chill, almost like a wet fingertip was stroking his spine.

Subaru had given in to his violent storm of emotions, venting about all the things that had been agonizing him to date. The expression that Roswaal trained upon Subaru was exceedingly out of place.

He was smiling. The sides of his face were cracked by his thin lips, and Roswaal wore that pleasant expression full of welcome, the grin of a demon, as he kept staring at Subaru.

This was not sarcasm or anything of the sort. He felt genuine delight at seeing Subaru's demeanor. All Subaru could feel for that flow of incomprehensible emotion was disgust. He feared it, for it was something he absolutely could not comprehend.

As he peered into Subaru's trembling eyes, Roswaal made what seemed like an affectionate nod.

"Very well. Since you do not understand, I, someone who assumes he understands, have decided to arbitrarily enlighten you; specifically, I'll tell you the reason why you, despite witnessing the deaths of these two and now confronting me, the one who slew them both, are not acting out of emotion."

"_______"

"It's quite simple. —You are not sad about their deaths. You are surprised. However, you are not sad. That is why you have not hurled yourself at me in anger."

—It really was the arbitrary statement of someone who assumed they understood.

What do you understand! As if I'm not sad that they're dead! I'll kill you!!

Inside Subaru's heart, one phrase after another floated up, all candidates for what he should shout in response. They were countless.

In truth, Subaru had multiple violent emotions swirling around inside of him. They cried for him to chew out the clown with the all-knowing face.

Anger, despair, grief, shock—his emotions were ready to make him explode and say those things at any moment—

"—It is because you do believe these things can be undone, is it nooooot?"

"—?!!"

The blow made his blood freeze. Subaru went rigid, feeling like his heart had been clenched.

It was not a metaphor. He truly felt like his heart was in a death grip. The impact was simply that great.

Whatever Roswaal meant by it, his statement's wording was all too close to Return by Death. The Witch's court was strict and severe. That very moment, the world might stop and those black arms emerge to impose their sentence. Or perhaps the arms would be insufficient, and the Witch might descend once more, drinking the Sanctuary dry—

"…Not…coming?"

"This wariness… I see. So you and that have exchanged a pact. In light of that, I can now accept how you came to so many of your words and actions to date. She is quite a mean one."

"Accept, you say…? No, before even that, you…!"

Subaru's face went pale as Roswaal put a hand to his chin and nodded. There was no mistake: Roswaal's statement that moment had most certainly touched upon the taboo at Subaru's core—

"You…you noticed what's been happening with me…?!"

"To explain, it is likely faster to show you than to tell you."

"Wait! That feels like you're just giving me the slip aga—"

When Roswaal turned around and headed toward the bed, Subaru tried to close the distance. However, he hesitated to touch the pool of blood at the tips of his toes—and the corpses of Ram and Garfiel within.

During that time, Roswaal arrived at the bed. He reached a hand under the pillow, groping under it, and—

"…Wait, don't tell me that's—?"

"A Gospel? Rest at ease. This is not any such knockoff but one of the only two genuine articles."

When he lifted what was in his hand, Subaru recalled hearing similar words from Roswaal before. When the topic had come up previously, the man had stated that these were the real deal, that only two volumes existed, and that one was in Beatrice's hands. As for the other—

"So you had it…!"

"It would seem you require no explanation as to the book's contents. It would also seem you do not require an explanation of who possesses the other, either. In that case, you require no further answer to your query, I take it?"

"_______"

As the black-bound book held his attention, Subaru heard a very loud ringing in his ears.

When he concentrated, working to match what he was seeing with his memories to date, he found his proof. Leaving the reality of the present behind, overusing his brain to the point of meltdown, he finally arrived at a meaningful conclusion.

In Roswaal's hand rested the second book of knowledge. This tome prophesized the future, and just like Beatrice, whose blank book had reinforced her isolation across four centuries, Roswaal too had read the book's contents over and over—

"From the look of you, it would appear that Beatrice somehow fulfilled her duty."

"—. Duty? Duty, what do you know about her…?"

The interjection brought his thought process to a temporary halt. As it continued the work of verifying background information, the sense of loss etched into Subaru's chest made him flare up at Roswaal for the sake of the girl at the center of that pain.

Did this man know the true feelings of Beatrice, the girl who had cried out in such loneliness?

"Didn't you know about what she was going through?! Always bound to that room, always clinging to a promise from a long time ago… Didn't you know about her tears?!"

"Of course I knew. To me, she is someone I have known since the time of my birth. The sense of desolation she harbors within her chest, her desire to move on… These are things I have always known."

"—!! Then…"

"I hope you do not say, Why did you do nothing about them? or the like. Do you know what that girl desires someone do to relieve her sadness? You have heard her plea, have you not?"

Skewered by Roswaal's sound logic, Subaru's heart reeled, like it was spitting up blood.

It was the truth. It was very much the truth. Subaru had heard Beatrice's plea. He'd reached out to her, wanting to save her. His hand had been rejected, his voice had failed to reach her and in the end, Beatrice's life had been taken by a vile blade.

The power and the knowledge to heal four centuries of isolation was too much to hope for from Subaru.

Going back in time, using his means of redoing things, Subaru could create a "final" chance to exchange words with Beatrice any number of times. —But how should one heal four centuries of sadness?

He couldn't turn back the clock on the four centuries of time Beatrice had spent in the archive of forbidden books.

"—Though I must envy her."

Almost as an afterthought, the murmuring voice crept its way into Subaru's battered eardrums.

Unable to believe what he just heard, Subaru lifted his face, staring at the mouth Roswaal had used to speak the words. But Roswaal did not notice his gaze, and together with a vague sigh, he carried on.

"Beatrice was able to vanish, granting her long-cherished desire. That is the meaning behind the fact that you are here, am I riiiiight?"

"Long-cherished…desire? A-are you?! Are you trying to tell me dying like, like _______her long-cherished desire?!"

"_______the girl's wish. Whatever end each person hopes for is not something others should belittle, and her desires were her own. It is impermissible to sully that girl's demise, for you and for me."

"You killed Ram and Garfiel, and you get to say that to me?!"

As Subaru shouted in anger and raised his finger in accusation for the slaughter, Roswaal shook his head side to side. It was as if to say, And were your own actions so noble that you can act so high and mighty?

Subaru had heard Beatrice's plea, her lament. And yet, why was Roswaal, the man who had done nothing for her, able to put on that face like he understood Beatrice?

—After all, there was no sympathizing with Beatrice's wish, her plea for death. That wish was not what she had wanted at all.

—If it was, then why had Beatrice shielded Subaru in the end?

"Like I said, I envy her. —After all, it would seem that my long-cherished desire shall not be granted."

"—?"

Until that point, Subaru had been unable to comprehend a single word out of Roswaal's mouth. There was only chaos in his mind.

But even so, what he just said left a particularly strange and queasy feeling in Subaru.

Granting a long-cherished desire. Fulfilling a wish. These felt wrong, discordant. As for his wish—

"What…do you want, then? What the heck is your wish? Why—why do all this…?"

"I shall not speak it. I have a vow to uphold, much like you. What has come out of my mouth so far is the greatest concession I am capable of giving you. But allow me to say this."

"_______"

"I always do my utmost, always acting in the best interests of my long-cherished desire. My various schemes, blasphemies, aid, and support are all for its sake. I have never once turned my back on that."

Blatantly, boldly, and proudly, Roswaal affirmed every last one of his own actions to date.

How could he say it with a straight face like that, shamelessly, brazenly? Pitch-black anger welled up in Subaru.

For Subaru's part, his anger seemed selfish, if not wholly disconnected from the contempt for the feelings and emotions for which he had come so far. But he couldn't help himself.

"What best interests?! Never turned your back on that, my ass! You…you too, it's that book, huh?! You're acting according to what's written in the book, aren't you?! Are you gonna tell me the same things that Beatrice did?! That what you've done until now, that what you're doing in the Sanctuary is all…!"

The first run when Subaru had discovered that book, Beatrice had told him she was doing everything as written within. That had been a lie. This time around, Subaru had learned her book was filled with blank pages.

So what about Roswaal's book, then? Was the future accurately detailed therein?

"Is this snow according to the book, too?! Did the writing in the book tell you to make the snow fall? What the hell for?!"

"That should be obvious. —To isolate Lady Emilia."

"—H…uh?

"I suppose I must repeat myself. Making the snow fall like this inflicts harm upon the residents. This isolates Lady Emilia, causing her to fall into an unstable mental state. Without this snow, she would not, yes?"

Roswaal's conclusion accurately described the state of Emilia, left behind at the tomb, as if he could see it for himself.

The situation had advanced precisely in accordance with Roswaal's prediction. But the issue was not the effects. Subaru did not comprehend the meaning behind the thought process of Roswaal's that had arrived at such an extreme.

With Subaru perplexed, Roswaal spread his hands out a little.

"This is a land connected to a Witch, and Lady Emilia is in the position of confronting the Trial to liberate the Sanctuary. For a great, unseasonable snowfall to arrive out of season in a place she is located…one can imagine what would happen?"

"Wh-why, you…"

"At a time like this, Garfiel's lack of guile proves most useful. His suspicions would naturally jump straight to Lady Emilia, blaming her with a loud voice. This is where the memories of the people of Earlham Village would come into play. They know of the wave of localized cold that Lady Emilia…well, more precisely, the Great Spirit, can trigger."

Roswaal's statement made a chill run through Subaru. The "wave of localized cold" he spoke of referred to the sight of out-of-season snow occurring alone in the environs of Roswaal Manor.

It was a fun, peaceful time between the people of the mansion and the villagers. Roswaal was using that memory.

—In point of fact, every last thing had gone in accordance with Roswaal's scheme.

Garfiel had suspected Emilia, and his voice propagated that suspicion through the residents of the settlement. The people of Earlham Village would want to believe in her. But they had memories that associated snow with Emilia.

It was Emilia who had made the snow fall—and every plot of soil in that land, that world, carried a reason to pin every crime upon her, regardless of who might have committed it.

This was the demon named Prejudice, which had caused Emilia so much suffering over many years.

"And do what by isolating Lady Emilia, you ask? Lady Emilia is truly a weak person, you see. It is by no means mysterious for her to entrust herself to the hands of 'someone' who can accept her… And if that someone wished to support Lady Emilia with every fiber of his being, all the better."

"Wait, wait…wait, wait, wait, wait…!"

As Roswaal continued his confession, the words triggered an instinctual fear, prompting Subaru to raise his hands.

He felt like at that moment some preposterous tale, some outrageous fact, was being spoken to him.

As if that moment, he had heard Roswaal's true intent, and having heard it, there was no going back—

"Once Lady Emilia depends upon you, you shall never push her away. Of course not… You love her, after all. If your beloved Lady Emilia entrusts everything to you, you will be unable to brush her aside."

"That's not…"

No. It can't be true.

That very moment, the present Subaru had resisted giving in to Emilia when she had clung to him back at the tomb. He had come this far after enduring it. Knowing that those were not Emilia's true feelings, he could not allow himself to drown in feelings of love that were a pale substitute for the real—

"Not today is surely your answer. That is an unfortunate development for me. It would seem that the current you is overly invested in extraneous things."

"Extraneous…? Wait, this is why you did something to my letter…?"

"—Letter?"

Suspicion slipped into Roswaal's question to himself. Though he knit his brows, he immediately cast that suspicion aside.

When Roswaal stepped forward, taking a single step into the pool of blood, Subaru's body subconsciously flinched back. Roswaal, shaking his long arm, flashed a lonely, pained smile at Subaru's reaction and said; "The current you is insufficient to bring about the future indicated in the text. Any discrepancy with that recorded requires a correction."

"You plan to kill…me?"

"Killing you would be putting the cart before the horse, would it noooot? I would be inconvenienced were you to perish. I mean, I simply must have you seize the next opportunity, no matter what might befall you."

"—Eh?"

For an instant, the words Roswaal said as he approached threw Subaru for a loop. But he immediately grasped what the words meant and, at the same time, recognized their variance with the facts.

Based on some kind of notation in the book of knowledge, Roswaal had caught on to Subaru's looping. However, he did not know that death was the trigger to activate Return by Death.

Accordingly, Roswaal believed he could not kill him until Subaru activated the looping of his own free will. If it was like that, he had a chance to w—

"—I shall not kill you. However, I can do anything to you besides that. Am I wrong?"

The next instant, Subaru was struck by a blow that seemed to go straight through his solar plexus, slamming him into the wall.

"G-ahh…"

"Considering how our relationship will develop after this, I would not consider this course of action to be suave of me. Did I use the term correctly?"

"Goaa! G-gyaaa!"

Driving his fingernails into the fallen Subaru's flank, Roswaal cocked his head like this was any other regular moment. Rather than the force of his kick, he was using precise gouging at weak points to meticulously increase Subaru's suffering.

And as Subaru writhed in intense pain, Roswaal rained more one-sided acts of violence upon him with punches, kicks, and sometimes a stomp to the head, causing tears of blood to flow out of his left eye cavity once more.

But he didn't die. Therefore, there was no Return by Death. The looping did not occur.

"…I have done all this, and still you will not try again? You are quite obstinate."

"I… I—I…"

"Ahhh, or is this already after you have made another attempt? Now that I think of it, I have no method of recognizing whether you have done it or not. Quite the miscalculation."

The pitying look Roswaal directed toward Subaru was a spiteful sight indeed. But what tugged at his chest even more than that, something that always had, spilled out of Subaru's mouth.

"Ros…waal… Y…you talk like I've tried again a whole…bunch of times…"

"Oh my? This is becoming a rather important discussion? Do tell."

"I'm…the one asking you… What's…with you…acting…planning on the premise that I…that someone else…can redo things? Do you actually…?"

Finally, the terrible premonition that he'd dragged around with him all that time coalesced into a tangible suspicion.

—And that suspicion was that Roswaal had a way to inherit memories.

Just like Echidna, inside the tomb, who spent her time cut off from reality in her castle of dreams, did Roswaal also inherit memories of a prior world even after Subaru Returned by Death?

For if not, Subaru couldn't make sense of his plan that hinged on redoing things.

"If that's so…that's fine. But if that's really what it is, then I can't…"

Can't forgive you. If they had both inherited those memories, their relationship could be extended no further.

Roswaal had committed a great many heresies for the sake of an objective unknown to Subaru. This was not limited to the current run but was this man's policy for every time moving forward as well.

If _______so, the optimal future Subaru was aiming for and his goal were—

"—It would seem that the conversation is at an end…"

However, as Subaru's broken words trailed off, Roswaal turned his head toward the room's window. Then, in the corner of the fallen Subaru's eye, he slightly narrowed his eyes and spoke a single word.

"Goa."

In contrast to the whisper-like volume of his voice, the result created by that chant was an all-too-dazzling red.

He unleashed the fist-size crimson fireball created via chant with the speed of an arrow, melting and breaking through the intervening window—and scoring a direct hit on the silhouette seemingly trying to leap into the room through it, burning the target completely.

The silhouette, of a similar size to the fireball, was unable to resist the flames, burning to ash in the blink of an eye. But just before it completely burned away, it left behind only one thing: the sound of its kii, kii death cries—

"Just now… Agh?"

"I see, I see. —So this is how it ends?"

Subaru gasped as Roswaal grabbed hold of the front of his neck, easily lifting up his body with one slender arm. Subaru groaned and thrashed, but Roswaal paid no heed to his resistance, dragging him to the door. At a rapid gait, he passed out of the house's interior, violently dragging Subaru out of the building and into the cold, buffeting winds outside.

Hurled into the snowy landscape, Subaru shook off something cold touching his head, somehow managing to sit up.

And then he noticed it and gaped.

"_______"

He heard a skrtskrt sound, a discordant noise like that of hard things rubbing against each other. This was the song of fangs meant for tearing prey to shreds, a sound that Subaru knew from personal experience.

The pure-white fur blended in perfectly with the snowed-in landscape of the Sanctuary. Their tiny bodies, small enough to fit into one's palm, quivered as their round eyes surveyed the landscape. They were adorable animals—and indiscriminate weapons of slaughter.

"Th-the rabbits…!"

Subaru shivered, raising a shout at the arrival of the Great Rabbit, one of the three great demon beasts.

As Subaru did so, just as his fright foretold, the hopping demon beasts leaped onto the snow one after another. "Kii, kii," they cried out, and skrtskrt went the sound of the demon beasts' fangs, their numbers already beyond counting.

These monsters, left with no instincts save insatiable hunger, the demon beast horde known as the Great Rabbit, had arrived in the Sanctuary.

"B-but…this is ridiculous. I mean, it's only the second day… Why is this…?!"

Subaru was sure that according to his memories, the Great Rabbit had attacked the Sanctuary on the fifth day. There should have been plenty of time to spare. Why were they in the Sanctuary with timing like that?

"This snow is no doubt the cause."

"—! Daphne said the Great Rabbit eats magical energy; the bigger the mana the better…!"

During his fleeting encounter with the Witches, the Witch of Gluttony, Daphne, creator and mother of the Great Rabbit, had told Subaru that about the creatures' ecology. He had yet to turn the information about that trait of the Great Rabbit, its attraction to mana, into a means of opposing the menace of the demon beasts, but—

"The snow… There's no reason they can't munch down on the great magic controlling the weather. That's why…!"

"To the Great Rabbit, this is a desirable feeding ground. From birth, those residents with demi-human blood are blessed with bountiful mana… And more important, they and the evacuated villagers are all gathered in one place."

"The Cathedral—!"

As if the conclusion was propelling him, Subaru forced his creaking body to stand. Then, wiping his nosebleed with a sleeve, with the attack of the Great Rabbit imminent, he drew close to Roswaal.

"Roswaal! Right now…just for now, a cease-fire! Anyway, let's get to the Cathedral! Can we hole up there…? No, gotta rendezvous with Emilia at the tomb and flee outside…"

"Flee? To where? There is the barrier. The residents of the Sanctuary cannot escape."

"—. Th-that's…"

"There was not enough time, Subaru. So long as the Trial remains unfinished, the residents cannot leave the Sanctuary. In other words, the future you desire will never come to pass."

As Subaru hemmed, Roswaal pushed his chest away and calmly walked forward.

Ahead of where he advanced, walking over the snow—the Great Rabbit pressed forward as an uncoordinated line of death.

With his might as one of the kingdom's preeminent mages, they couldn't ask for anything more ideal than a target-rich battlefield; numbers meant nothing to him. Surely, with his overwhelming magical strength, he could mow down the horde and open a path.

However, Subaru did not have any sense whatsoever that Roswaal had the willpower to resist.

As he continued to advance, his very demeanor was clearly that of a man going off to his death.

"Wait, wait, damn it, Roswaal…! We aren't done talking yet!"

"No, we are finished. At the very least, I have no more words to speak to you. Nor any reason left to live."

"E-even if I redo it, this way is the worst! If we talked more, talked properly…or maybe you just think you can do it next time, but…!"

"—You seem to have a misconception about something, Subaru."

"Wha?"

The term misconception made Subaru's words catch. Standing still, Roswaal turned only his head toward Subaru.

And with Subaru frozen, Roswaal continued speaking to him.

"Even if you can try again, I cannot. The me waiting for you after a redo is not the me you see here. This is my end. —But that is fine."

Bewilderment, amazement, shock slammed into Subaru all at once.

Roswaal himself was saying that redos applied only to Subaru; everything else in the loop was unrelated.

In other words, Roswaal knew of Subaru's looping and was trying to use it for some kind of objective, but what he was doing was no more and no less than that.

For the Roswaal that died there, in that world, his life was over, his consciousness at an end.

He knew that even if Subaru redid things, the current Roswaal would not be waiting on the other end.

But that way of thinking was just too—

"—That's not the thought process of a human being."

With Subaru, whose consciousness continued on, the prerequisite conditions differed.

With Roswaal, whose consciousness did not continue on, if he died it was the end.

And so understanding that end, he accepted it as a matter of fact, inserting it into his plan. _______abnormal.

"At any rate, the time will come when, in a genuine sense, you catch up to me, Subaru."

"Roswaal…?"

"Listen well, Subaru. —You have something that is important. One thing that is truly, truly precious to you. Strip away all other things. Let go of everything else and think only of protecting that one thing that you hold dear."

"_______"

"Do this and—"

Somewhere amid that much urgency, with an air of so much sincerity, Roswaal smiled at Subaru.

The Great Rabbit that had already come so very close tore into that Roswaal's neck. Blood scattered, and the sound of gouged flesh heralded the beginning of the tragic spectacle. Late to appear, the next rabbits bit into his arms, his knees, his rump.

"Roswaalllll—!!"

"—You can become like me."

The jester's smile could no longer be seen, buried under the gleeful horde of rabbit bodies.

As if craving it, the Great Rabbit covered the whole of Roswaal's body. Falling to his side, the unresisting Roswaal was gouged out by the rabbits' fangs. Hungrily, they fed, eating their fill.

Fresh blood sprayed onto the white snow, drawing a picture of Hell upon that great natural canvas. Even that bloody sketch went to waste, for the demon beasts slurped the blood-smeared snow, erasing every remaining trace.

Without a word, Subaru watched the spectacle of Roswaal ceasing to be Roswaal.

He watched, as the being known as Roswaal was lost to the world, his life gnawed away.

—He watched.