Achievement: First Mission!

So a guy stepped out the portal. A tall guy. A tough guy. A guy who looked like hell.

Seriously. His clothes were tattered and even had a few bruises with some scrapes that were bleeding. But he was blonde. He had some freckles. No elephant ears! Holy shit I look decent!

Older Me: "Sup sup buttercups."

And he has a stupid line, oh my goodness he is me!

Older Kim: "Ron?!"

The Three 'Major' Villains: "The sidekick? But you're dead!"

I'm dead?! What in the hell happens in the future?!

Older Me: "Aww, y'all killing me off already? Such poor sport, gentlemen. Hey! Whatsup lil me!"

...

Me: "Timey wimey stuff?"

Older Me: "Like you wouldn't believe. I have a lot of apologizing to do after this tiny mission. But man does this bring back memories."

Older Kim and young Kim were still dodging the stone gorilla. But even I could see older Kim seemed out of it. She merely moved simply because of her refined reflexes.

Older me: "Yeah... alot to apologize for..."

Wow, he said it softly AND with a sigh?! Man, what the hell did we do wrong in the future. I feel like I gotta apologize now too.

He jumped over and threw my Kim over to me while he grabs the Older Kim. Now while I did catch my time line's Kim, he made it seem effortless. I couldn't hear what he was saying to her with all the banging and crashing from the giant stone gorilla, but it she did seem to calm down at least. Go me. Glad to see I at least look badass in the future!

Future me was practically gliding across the gorillas' arm. It had even dropped its' sword in favor of trying to catch him and the damsel in his arms. Not that older Kim would ever be a damsel in distress kind of woman; but hey, she looked happy. Well, until Shego came in and used her power to claw the statue from head to pelvis.

Puberty is really ruining my mind because hot damn man. She got a booty that I want to bounce on like a trampoline. She was a literal picture of perfection, from the top of her head down to her toes, she was just... hot damn!

But that new outfit was what made it hot. She decided to opt in for a green and black two piece. If you could even call it that! It was like she was wearing a green sports bra and a black yoga pants! She rocking some thigh high boots though. Oh! She still has those gloves that have the metal tip on them.

So ever get lost in your thoughts or just watching a beautiful scenery and forget you were doing something else? Yeah, I did that. I was still holding younger Kim tight in my arms; she didn't seem in discomfort, but she did seem a little dazed. So thankfully she didn't see me checking out older Shego.

And how did I know it was older Shego? Honestly, this whole timey whimey shebang has me all confused on who is older who is current and just what am I. So let's try and see if I can make sense of it.

We have me and Kim. Future Me and Future Kim. The three major villains, Drakken, Killigan, and Monkey Fist. And future future Shego... So where is current Shego? Oh... She just knocked out the bad guys. So is this how she goes back in time to ruin mine and Kim's crime fighting life?! Crap! Gotta stop her!

Current Shego: "Hey there hot stuff. Glad to see you made it back in one piece. Though I gotta say, the younger you is cuter."

Nope, definitely was not blushing. Nope. Still got my head in the game. Gonna stop her!

Older Me: "Well since you are going to mess with the timeline and save me, could you do it faster? I was almost crushed before future you saved me, Sheila."

....

What the hell is going on?! Nope, nope, nope. I am not Australian! I am 'murican dang it!

Oh hold up. Sheila is her actual name. Duh.

Shego: "Sure thing hot stuff. See you in a bit."

Time travel stuff is confusing if you ask me. But hearing police sirens, those don't confuse me. I know what that means. Mr. Paisley or Mr. McHenry have the called the po-po.

Older Me: "Aw, I wanted a hug and a kiss. Oh well. Love, tis ever fleeting. How will I ever miss thee."

Yeesh, that was awful 'me'. You need better lines mate.

Future Shego: "I think I can fix that."

Oh... Oh my... Well that was a hot and steamy kiss. I think even my toes curled. But to watch Older Kim get possessive and steal a kiss from 'me' was sexy.

Older Me: "Well then, 'time' to run. Ha ha ha. Oh shush it, that was funny! But seriously K.P, we gotta go and Shego has to return back too."

Me: "Wait a tic! That's it?! You show up, take out a gorilla, make out, and then leave me confused?! Hellloooo. My K.P is still dazed and unresponsive here! I want answers!"

Older Me: "Well duh little me. Why ruin a good thing? I made it back alive and I get to cuddle with my loves. So I gotta get goin'. And don't stress, K.P is only out because of the MMP. I did not want her getting an overload on the details."

Me: "You suck. You suck big time. I could use at least some advice!"

Maybe I shouldn't have asked. Older Me is an ass. Didn't help with a sexy Shego and a hot K.P smirking at me.

Older Me: "So advice, ehh? Heh, then I recommend you enjoy _fucking everything_ up. I do tend to excel at it."

....

....

....

They left. Just like that.

ASKUFRUUGENKLOFENTEIN! Just what kind of advice is that?! And why did both of those ladies smile?! Do.. Do I share everything in the future? But no. That isn't wise. That's far from smart! That... sounds like me.

And does that mean I somehow I get in a relationship with both Kim and Shego?! What about Bonnie?! And maybe Tara?! And what the heck?! That is sick and wrong! I should not be trying to think of these girls as targets to add into a harem!

Kim: "-n! Ron! RON! *RON!* Are you okay?! Earth to Ron Stoppable?!"

I might have looked down to Kim a little too fast. I might have hugged her a little too tight. She might have squealed a little, but honestly I'm not sure.

Me: "You're okay! I was freaking out earlier when you seemed so out of it! So are you okay? No problems? Gorilla didn't hurt you? The weird dude didn't touch you inappropriately did he?!"

Even if said weird dude was me...

Kim: "Ron I'm fine! But thanks, Ron. But I was asking where did everyone go? And you, uhh, are still holding me. So I can't do anything."

I'm not blushing! You're blushing! Your whole family is blushing!

But I at least let go and help her up. Just in time too. The police were showing up with Mr. Paisley and Mr. McHenry; and boy was it fun explaining how Kim took down the monkey using the lasers and knocked out the three guys. I may have exaggerated a little on a few points, and I did have to speak over Kim and stop her from saying something otherwise different. But after this, she is gonna get her break as a crime fighting heroine and me as the dependable sidekick.

Because after all. No one pays too close to a sidekick and what trouble I can cause.

Hopefully I won't be stupid about this...

Hopefully.