184 Chapter 184: How’s the weather?
[General POV]
"Really? You didn't just give him everything?" Tara spoke sarcastically as she talked on the phone with Haley.
Haley rolled her eyes before turning on her stomach as she laid down on her bed. "No! Of course not!"
Tara chuckled and teased, "But…it was close, right?"
"...Shut up." Haley replied with a slight smile. "The point is…We didn't! I'm not going to give him my v-card when we are not even dating!"
Tara laughed out loud as she was making fun of Haley. "So…How big is it?" Tara asked with a slight blush. Haley rolled her eyes, and then she giggled and told Tara every single detail of her dalliance with Edward.
"Really? He was that good?" Tara asked in shock after Haley told her about Edward's skill with his tongue. "Can I try it too? I mean…You guys were only doing it as 'friends', right? I think I'm his friend too–"
"Try it, and I'm going to castrate you, you slut." Haley smiled and spoke her menacing words with a soft tone.
Tara giggled and then teased, "Well…You can't actually do anything to stop me. Cause you know…Not…his girlfriend…"
"Ugh! Stop reminding me of that!" Haley said in exasperation.
After finishing the topic, Tara spoke of a new one. "You're skipping school tomorrow?"
"Yeah. I'm going to see the Jimmy Fallon interview live. Before that, we'll stop by his agency first early in the morning.
"This is a surprise right? Edward doesn't know about this?"
"Pepper thought of it. My dad, Luke, and Alex will also be there. Mom got banned because she stole their pastries so she can't see the live show as a punishment."
Ted and Camila will also join the show as part of the audience. Edward tried to get more seats, but the theater was already packed.
Tara was baffled, "But…you did it too?" She knew that Haley had shared the pastries with her mother, but was confused as to why she managed to get away scott free.
Haley twirled her hair and said proudly, "Yeah. But I'm pretty, so Ed didn't get mad at me."
Tara responded to that statement by making some puking sounds at the other side of the phone call. "Okay then, Goodluck in New York. I'm very jealous of you right now." She ended the call with a depressed tone.
Haley chuckled and said, "Stop it– Wait. Um…"
"What? Are you feeling anxious and just now realised that Abby is in New York, and are now wondering if you should take a few hours to visit her?"
"Kinda. Yes. What should I do?" Haley asked as she bit her lower lip in frustration.
…
The next morning, Edward went to the new company building and entered the recording studio together with the other musicians that would help him. He was wearing a black leather jacket and black pants, paired with a few silver accessories.
"Harvey. Where's Pepper?" Edward asked through the microphone as he held a guitar in his hand. Harvey smiled mischievously, pressed the button that would allow Edward to hear her, and said, "You can start now. Pepper has a stomach problem."
Pepper who was hiding behind the door was baffled and he looked at Harvey in dissatisfaction.
"Ahh. Is he getting diarrhea again? He should really get that checked out. Or else he'll get anal fissures and won't be able to have a boyfriend ever again. " Edward replied with some concern. Pepper gasped in offence as he heard it, while Phil, Luke, Haley and Alex took one step away from Pepper.
Pepper whispered angrily to Phil and his children, "I don't have diarrhea!"
Harvey chuckled as she saw Pepper's reaction. But then, her face froze as Edward said, "Ok this new song is kind of a bit much so I'm going to put it in my private piles so we should only revisit this when I'm older."
"Wh-What? Why?" Harvey asked quickly.
Edward shrugged and spoke casually, "I mean it's quite mature. I can't really release it right now, not under my name at the very least." Harvey quickly turned towards Luke and Alex as she thought about the situation.
But, she was too late. Edward and the musicians there had already started to sing before she could remove the kids from the venue.
[Sweater Weather – The Neighbourhood]
An addictive beat spread all over the recording room. Edward smiled charmingly as he grabbed the microphone and shot a glance at Leo who gave him a thumbs up – meaning, there was no problem with the audio.
Edward sang seductively, "♫♪And all I am is a man ♫♪"
"♫♪I want the world in my hands♫♪"
"♫♪I hate the beach, but I stand♫♪"
"♫♪In California with my toes in the sand♫♪"
Haley widened her eyes as she thought about the adventure she had with Edward when she forced him to go to the beach. She cupped her mouth to prevent her excitement from leaking out, especially in front of her dad.\
Harvey and Pepper were sweating profusely, but as they heard the intro, they calmed down a little. Pepper whispered to himself, "Alright. So far, so good. Great. All of us should go in right now!"
He pushed the family to stand behind the audio synthesizer panel before he went to stand next to Harvey.
Edward continued, "♫♪Use the sleeves of my sweater, let's have an adventure
Head in the clouds, but my gravity's centered♫♪"
Phil smiled knowingly as he alternated his glance between Haley, who was incredibly smitten, and Edward, who had no idea that they were here right now.
[Phil's commentary]
He said with excitement, "Although I am concerned that we're invading Edward's personal, and very private creative space, THE song…is actually about my daughter! So in a way, I have something to do with that song! So with that in mind, I can and actually SHOULD be here for this."
[Commentary ends]
"♫♪Touch my neck and I'll touch yours
You in those little high-waisted shorts, oh♫♪" Edward closed his eyes as he sang with emotion. Haley gasped before laughing, while Alex and Luke enjoyed the beat without actually thinking about the lyric much.
Harvey mumbled, "Oh my god." Pepper froze. Phil smiled innocently, but as he turned to look at Pepper's ashen face, he finally realized it and his face froze too.
Edward continued obliviously, "♫♪She knows what I think about! And what I think about! One love, two mouths. One love, one house. No shirt, no blouse. Just us, you find out. Nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no♫♪"
"♫♪'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
So let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater♫♪"
[Haley's commentary]
She smiled with a flushing face, "Wow….just…wow…So that's what he thinks about huh." She then giggled to herself as she couldn't wait to tease Edward.
"♫♪And if I may just take your breath away
I don't mind if there's not much to say
Sometimes the silence guides a mind
To move to a place so far away♫♪"
Edward smiled in reminiscence as he sang the next verse.
"♫♪The goosebumps start to raise
The minute that my left hand meets your waist♫"
"♫♪And then I watch your face
Put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love the taste, yeah♫♪"
Phil slowly moved his hand towards Luke's ear and closed them. Luke was baffled and pushed Phil's hand instantly as he wanted to hear the song.
"♫♪These hearts adore
Everyone the other beats hardest for
Inside, this place is warm
Outside, it starts to pour♫♪"
Alex finally realized it and then turned to Haley with a shocked expression, "You said you didn't do anything yesterday during the rain!"
"Wha–" Phil heard his daughter's whisper and fell into shock.
"♫♪Comin' down
One love, two mouths
One love, one house
No shirt, no blouse
Just us, you find out
Nothin' that I wouldn't wanna tell you about♫♪
♫♪No, no, no♫♪"
[Chorus]
♫♪'Cause it's too cold~~ for you here and now
So let me hold~~ both your hands in the holes of my sweater♫♪
♫♪'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
So let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater♫♪
♫♪Woah♫♪
The music changed and Edward finally turned towards the glass wall. He froze for a bit as he saw the Dunphy's there, but he couldn't stop singing.
♫♪Woah, woah, woah
Woah, woah, woah, woah
Woah, woah
Woah, woah, woah, woah
Woah, woah♫♪
He waved weakly at them, blood rushed to his ears, turning them red.
"♫♪'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
So let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater
'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
Let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater♫♪"
"♫♪And it's too cold, it's too cold
The holes of my sweater♫♪"
As Edward sang the outro and ended the song, only Leo and the Dunphy's children clapped for Edward's performance. Leo said through the speaker button, "Great recording as usual Edward. Do you want to sing another time and see if you can trump that up?"
"Ummm…What are they doing here? Also, No." Edward replied to Leo after pointing to the guests inside the recording studio.
As he walked out of the recording room, he couldn't look Phil in the eye, and pretended that he needed to go to the bathroom to get away from there.
Pepper poked Phil's shoulder as he was processing his feeling and reminded Phil, "Remember. He said that he's going to hold this song for a few years until he grows up. So, that's how we should react to this."
"Also, they definitely didn't go all the way yesterday. Or else trust me when I say I would see it." Harvey added. Phil was baffled then he asked Harvey seriously, "Wait. Are you sure about this?"
Harvey nodded and said, "Yeah. Women can know if another woman loses it. If you're still suspicious, you can ask your wife about it. She'll definitely know."
Women– especially mothers who care a lot about their child would notice this. Maybe it was the way they were walking after, or any other reasons, but mothers would notice, at the very least suspect.
Phil finally breathed a sigh of relief and pushed those thoughts far far away in his mind.
…
[Edward POV]
"Well that was traumatizing." I muttered to myself after I got away from the recording studio. Haley followed me from behind and she couldn't stop laughing. I glared at her and said playfully, "Oh. Is this funny to you?"
"Without a doubt." She replied teasingly. She then fixed my jacket and collar before saying, "But. We're going to put a pin on that. Cause I noticed that you're the type to run away if you're embarrassed about something."
"Depends on the type of embarrassment. Familial, I can take it. I won't run away from my friends either. But I will surely run away if I fucked up in front of my…"
"Your what?" She asked as I stopped abruptly. I smiled and said, "Oh…nothing. We should get all of them and move to the airport right now."
"???" Haley was confused, "'In front of my' what?!"
[Edward's commentary]
Edward rubbed his chin for a bit and he scoffed to himself. "Well…I surprised myself there. The ending to that sentence was… 'In front of my… girlfriend's… dad.'...I– Uh…"
He smiled in disbelief while throwing his hand in the air in excitement. He said jokingly, "I mean…I know that I like her… but right now…I'm more worried about how to face her dad after this."
[Commentary ends]
…
"It's a 5 hour flight, so get comfortable." Pepper said as he sat on the front seat of the plane with Harvey sitting facing him. They were sipping some wine and eating the snacks the stewardess had prepared, before wearing an eye mask to pretend that they were sleeping.
It was a smart move from them. Too bad I didn't have that luxury. Phil was sitting directly in front of me, and now is currently asking me an important question, "What is your intention with my daughter?"
I paused for a bit and asked, "Which one."
He furrowed his eyebrow before he said, "Haley?"
"Oh. Um…It was pure–"
"Was?" Phil caught my mistake immediately. He scowled and then said, "Look. I know, that you're now a teenager, and your hormones are currently going haywire-"
Haley interjected quickly, "DAD! Stop! We're just friends! Also you shouldn't tire him out."
Phil thought about it then sighed. I was finally relieved as he was letting go of the topic for now.
Luke asked, "Hey. Who's Jimmy Fallon?"
"Isn't he just another SNL guy?" Alex asked.
Haley was also curious, "He…He's just starting his show this year, right? And now it's ending?"
I answered to Haley, "No. It's going to continue for a long time. He already has over 100 guests right now."
The show was aimed for the adult audiences, so they had never watched it before.
The late night show started in February 2009, and was only aired once every two days but it didn't receive that much love from the audience at the beginning.
But, after a few games with the guests, Jimmy's overreaction to every single joke made him earn a spot in people's hearts. Currently, the fanbase for the show is still relatively small.
But I knew that in the future, it would grow to become one of the most popular talk shows in the country. I was just making some investments in that.
(Made a little tweak from his past world )
Harvey and Pepper were confused as to why I agreed with the invitation to get on the show, when I didn't agree with Ellen Degeneras invitation. But they didn't try to convince me much. Everyone has their own preferences, right?
"Who's your co-guest?" Alex asked.
I rubbed my chin and said, "I'm not sure yet. It was supposed to be Julianna Margueiless and Usain Bolt I think. But right now, I'm not quite sure. Pepper?" I turned to Pepper, and saw that he was truly sleeping right now.
I shrugged and said, "I guess I'll find out when I get there. It could be Megan Fox though."
Haley furrowed her brows while Phil's eyes lit up. "Why do you think it'll be her?" Haley asked with a hint of jealousy.
"The movie "Jennifer's Body" had just released last week. So it may be her. I am not quite sure yet."
"Like, a hot body or?" Haley asked.
"Like, a hot, dead body. A horror movie." I replied playfully, making Haley laugh.
…
"It's cold!" Haley rubbed her arm as she exited the plane.
"It's New York in late September. Of course it's cold." I replied before I took off my leather jacket and put it around her. She smiled shyly and twirled her hair.
"I'm cold too!" Phil said. "Well I only have one jacket." I replied jokingly.
Luke asked Phil, "Are we running away from home because mom ate our donut?"
"No Luke. We're here to support Edward in his show filming today." Phil replied.
"But, you said, "That this was going to teach her a lesson"..."
Phil just looked around guiltily before putting a scarf on Luke. Randall was already in New York, and he picked us up. We went directly to the NBC headquarters at 30 Rockefeller Plaza to prepare for the show.
"Ed, don't you need to prepare?" Randall asked worriedly after he saw me leisuring around the guest room.
"Ah, don't worry about that. I have already read all the questions and even the added notes last night." I replied. Randall was sceptical about my answer, but he decided not to press me.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
I nodded and replied in a casual manner, "I'm sure. Also, who's that?"
"What?" Randall turned around quickly, and he instantly blocked the door to prevent any threats from getting near me.
A slim, long haired blonde woman with a Paris Hilton-like demeanour, huge pearls around her neck, and fingers filled with giant rings, walked casually into my waiting room. She slightly pushed Randall away, but he slipped and fell to the floor.
"Hi. Edward Newgate. I'm your biggest fan." She said with a slightly snobbish tone while pushing Randall away and offered a handshake at me assertively.
"Hi. I seem to know you from somewhere." I muttered as I scrutinised her face. She smiled and said, "I'm Caroline Channing. You might know me from my father, Martin Channing."
"Ah, the billionaire who shook my hand at my NYC concert. He's a very charming man." I said sarcastically, but it went over the girls head.
Caroline was elated, "I know right?"
(Caroline Channing – 2 Broke Girl show)
Well, that man was also running a ponzi scheme. That's how he became a billionaire. I found out about that when he tried to talk to Pepper about an investment opportunity before.
Given that he was handsome, Pepper almost fell into that scheme and invested millions of our hard earned money into it.
(A/N: Edward had never watched that show before, so he didn't know the plot. He only knew about the two girl being broke, and they wanted to run a cupcake business)
"I'm sorry to bother you, especially right before you are going to film the show." Caroline said honestly while throwing her head back and threw her hands in the air. (Jazz hand)
I was taken aback when I saw her demeanor. Unlike her dad, she was actually quite innocent, albeit she was snobbish. But it wasn't like she was acting snobbish. That was how she was raised – to be a rich girl. She didn't really know how to be anything else.
"I just want to introduce myself. Because I'd really like to be your friend." She said without hiding anything.
I smiled kindly and replied, "Hmm…that's quite a tough request."
"Really?" She asked incredulously, acting like me saying 'No' was the vilest thing that ever happened to her.
I crossed my arm and said, "Yes. Not that I don't think that you're a good person. Based on our 30 second meeting, I think that you're a very nice girl. But your dad…"
"What do you mean? What did my dad do?" She asked in confusion.
I shrugged and said, "You should figure that out on your own. And after you do figure it out, my advice would be to quickly bury some cash for your future somewhere secret, and off the books."
"Huh?" Caroline exclaimed. "Wait- What are you talking about?"
"Do you want a picture?" I asked her.
Her concerns melted and she replied sweetly, "Of course I want a picture!" She took out her Iphone with a hello kitty diamond casing and then posed using a duck face as we took the picture.
Security then escorted her away, and I turned to Randall, who was rubbing his sore arm from the fall, with a glare on my face.
"Really? You fell on the floor? Isn't she like 100 pounds wet?"
He said guiltily, "Well she's not very strong, but I didn't want to get scratched by her ring."
"You know what…I'm not even going to say anything about this, cause I think that you'll think about what just happened and strive to be better without me telling you to do it." I said.
Randall smiled guiltily and agreed with my words in a weak manner, "Yeah…I promised myself that I would go to the gym after this."
"Good. Okay, as a punishment, you need to go to Williamsburg, and find a restaurant called the Williamsburg Diner."
Randall's eyes lit up with the determination to prove himself, "Is that like a famous restaurant?"
I shook my head and replied naughtily, "No. It's a shitty diner. There's also a slight chance that it is owned by the Russian Mafia."
Randall gulped his saliva and asked me fearfully, "W-What do you want me to do there?"
I smirked and said, "I need you to find a girl named Max Black. When you see a girl working there with black hair, very mean…and with huge breasts, then, you'll know you have the right girl. I need you to get me her cupcakes."
Randall was aggrieved, "Edward. You're pretty famous. A lot of girls would give their 'cupcakes' to you for free. You don't have to hire an escort— which, I'm 99% sure is illegal in this state–"
I narrowed my eyes on him and said, "You have a really low opinion of me huh? I'M Not asking you to get her! I'm asking you to get her cupcakes! She makes and sells cupcakes!" (E/N: Technically she doesn't yet… It was just a side gig at the diner)
Randall was finally relieved, "Oh. Is this like a food hunt like that blog video you alway watch?"
"Go go go!" I chased him away before he could get the answer to that question.
