Idiot Sandwich

The first session of cram school ended late at night. Before Satoshi left her study, Sepphira made a point that instead of sleeping he should use his precious time to read something. Satoshi was planning to anyway, so that piece of advice wasn't needed.

But then Sepphira gave another piece of advice that was both unwanted, and too far. She suggested Satoshi only sleep an hour before his next session and use the rest to do independent study. Shitting and eating should be done at the same time to further save time.

Satoshi chose not to heed the advice, which went too far after all, but he can't help but wonder if Sepphira did that herself.

Satoshi spent the night finishing the book 'Covenant of Truth: a look into a failed academic utopia' that he didn't get to finish before. He skimmed and scanned most of it and finished everything in a few hours. By the end, he wasn't surprised that there was really no mention of the Power Tribunal whatsoever within the book. There wasn't even mention of the supreme expert.

The next session was facilitated by Teacher Tellrog. Although Satoshi was scared of the man, the rejuvenation talisman he gave Satoshi really did work in alleviating his weariness. Before most of the academia residents were even awake, Satoshi and Tellrog were ready for their first meeting. It seemed Tellrog was equally excited for their first session as Satoshi was.

Tellrog specialized in combat magic and battle formation, and this career choice was a perfect representation of his personality. He was a very straightforward and explosive individual.

"Now, repeat what I just told you, what are the ranks of magnitude in magic?" Tellrog asked Satoshi.

"At the very basic is Inept, the kind of magic that only requires some mental energy and stamina to apply." Satoshi began to repeat what Tellrog just explained to him.

"After that comes material manipulation, the kind of magic that mainly focuses on manipulating the different states of matter. It differed from inept magic in the magnitude of scope and power they produce. Aside from stamina and mental energy, it also requires comprehension power to utilize."

"Next comes elemental manipulation magic, or simply elemental magic, that focuses on controlling one specific element or more, and manipulating the different states of said element. The highest degree of mastery would require one to freely control one or several of the 119 elements and manipulate them either individually or in relation to one another. This stage depends on the power of comprehension and preparation.

"The last magnitude of magic would be ethereal manipulation, in which the wielder is manipulating the ethereal aspects of reality. For example time, probability, fate, dimensions, and the like. At this stage, utilization depends fully on the power of comprehension and the wielder's attunement to the ethereal aspect they are wielding."

"That would be the four magnitudes of magic." Satoshi ended his explanation.

"Good! Looks like you have a good memory, this should be easy then, hahaha!!" Tellrog complimented Satoshi proudly as if it was himself that received the compliment.

"Now, I'll explain how those difference in magnitude translates to how we address a person of academia. How you achieve the rank of a disciple, teacher, master, and so on. Make sure to pay attention because I will ask you to repeat it later."

The first session with Tellrog continued in this manner, it was uneventful but bountiful. Tellrog was able to cover a wide range of areas and explained them in a very logical and easy-to-understand manner. Satoshi was quite amazed, he didn't think that Tellrog would be such a capable teacher, if he wasn't so preoccupied with researching battle formation he could probably be a decent teacher somewhere.

After six hours of listening and repeating, Satoshi's session with Tellrog ended. Before he left, Tellrog gave Satoshi some books that he must read in his own time. Satoshi was very delighted by this. Not only Tellrog allowed Satoshi to have a meal during the session, he also give him some very helpful materials for the Academia Scholastic Trials.

Next came Unsui's session. If Tellrog's session could be said to be very fruitful, Unsui's session could be said to be the polar opposite. That would still be putting it kindly. To be more accurate, Unsui's session was simply…chaotic.

According to Sepphira's arrangement, Unsui was supposed to cover the subjects of history, inscription, and enchantment. But Unsui was only focused for the first thirty minutes, and after that, his discussion went off the rail and down a cliff.

"If one were to be given absolute liberty, I mean, who would refuse to have their body be completely rebuilt with automaton, right? Who would prefer this measly flesh and skin?" Unsui asked Satoshi for agreement.

"You could have your scalp completely replaced by genetically engineered chloroplast, that would provide you with your own dedicated source of oxygen. Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"The only downside is you would probably look a little bit green…well, I guess that would be a big downside if you are a very attractive person before the procedure.."

"Anyway have you ever studied Sepphira's badonkas in close detail? They have…such heft.."

Satoshi was flabbergasted by Unsui's preposterous way of thinking. He tried to keep a deadpan reaction but the rate at which Unsui got more and more off the handles finally forced Satoshi's mouth to go agape and eyes widened.

Unsui noticed Satoshi's drastic change in facial reaction and asked, "What? Do you have any insights about them?"

Satoshi faked a cough and declined to answer, "I'd rather not say anything about that.."

"Awww come on, let's talk about them, don't be shy it's not like she'd know…" Unsui insisted.

At this time Satoshi was really glad that he knew about the Evil-eye, he didn't know what would happen to Unsui if Sepphira ever found out.

After that last inappropriate remark by Unsui, Satoshi finally found a way to limit Unsui's wandering mind to a topic. Satoshi kept asking him about his work-in-progress that was haphazardly scattered across his study. If Unsui ever seemed to lose interest or bored, Satoshi would feign surprise or amazement and shower Unsui with compliments.

Basically, it became a case of trying to learn something from a child that happened to be smarter than you.

—

Satoshi was back in Sepphira's study just a little bit after seven in the evening. Tonight they were scheduled to go over Satoshi's weakest subject: classic literature.

Sepphira gave Satoshi five hours to read the general summary of classic literature, after which he will be questioned in. They were a dozen questions in, and so far Satoshi hasn't managed to get a single right answer. Sepphira was starting to lose her patience.

"The snow blows white on the mountain tonight

Not a patron to be seen

A village of isolation

And it looks like I'm the chief…"

"...are the first stanzas of a classic literature titled..what?" Sepphira asked Satoshi.

Satoshi pondered for a bit and convincingly answered, "Snow White."

Sepphira abruptly rose up from the sofa and pulled on Satoshi's ear, "Are you daft?! Just because it has the word "snow" doesn't mean it would be Snow White!"

Satoshi grimaced from the pain, "Aw aw aw aw, you can just say it's wrong, you don't need to pull on my ear! Let it go!"

Sepphira was startled at what Satoshi just said, she let go of his ear and watched him suspiciously. She sat down next to Satoshi and began reciting another part from a classic piece.

"25 years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope…for a destination." Sepphira said.

"Huh? Are you talking about my life?" Satoshi was still rubbing his ear and wasn't ready for a question.

SMACK!!

Sepphira gave Satoshi a vicious smack on his dome.

"Fuck! Why do you have to be so violent?! What's up with you??" Satoshi cursed aloud.

Sepphira was, again, surprised by what Satoshi said, she looked at Satoshi suspiciously.

"Are you playing with me? Do you think this is a joke?!" Sepphira asked him sternly.

"No! Why would I play with you, you violent woman, I don't even know what I did wrong!" Satoshi complained.

Sepphira gritted her teeth and said, "Last chance, if you still play around, I will chop you up and feed you to pigs!"

By this point Satoshi was really terrified of Sepphira, he really believed that she would actually do it if he messed up again. Satoshi prepared himself to absolutely answer the next question.

"That's the terror of knowing what this world is about,

Watchin' some good friends screamin', "Let me out"

Pray tomorrow gets me higher…"

Sepphira stopped briefly and asked the question, emphasizing every word, "That was a verse from a classic song titled…what?"

Satoshi was so nervous he didn't actually hear the first part that Sepphira said. He wanted to ask Sepphira to repeat it but was too scared. The last two sentences sounded familiar but he wasn't sure.

Satoshi took his time to answer since the wrong answer could very possibly mean his death.

"Answer it!" Sepphira lost her patience and yelled at Satoshi.

Satoshi instinctively defended himself, "Wait! I'm still thinking! Stop putting me under pressure!"

"That's it you punk!! Now I know for sure that you are making fun of me!" Sepphira stood up over Satoshi while rolling her sleeve.

Satoshi was totally lost at what it was that he did that made her so enraged, "No! I am sorry, it is me that is stupid, it is me that is stupid!" He began to beg.

"Please, it is me that is stupid, please quench your anger big sister…" Satoshi was on his knees trying to beg Sepphira to spare his life.

Sepphira snapped at him instead, "Who is your big sister, huh?! Didn't I tell you how to address me when I'm teaching you?!"

Satoshi remembered that Sepphira had told him to address her as a 'teacher' while he was learning, so as to establish a clear dynamic between them, but still, Satoshi felt Sepphira was a bit too much.

"I was willing to even call you big sister and you still won't accept it? You power freak? Or probably I should have called you big..big..big witch! Yeah, that's right! Cause you are a witch, you BIG WITCH!"

"Are you deaf? Answer me!" Sepphira shouted at Satoshi, startling him out of his mind.

"Yes bitch!" Satoshi instantly replied.

"No! I mean big witch! I mean teacher!" Satoshi slapped his own mouth every time it dragged him closer to his demise.

That night Satoshi's bloodcurdling wail could be heard reverberating through the Palace Museum until the light of dawn.

—

The very morning after Satoshi's closest brush against death some rumors began to circulate among the academia residents of the Palace Museum.

Some were saying that Satoshi finally lost it trying to cram years of prep school into a mere two weeks of preparations. Some were saying that Satoshi was actually a subject of an experiment about the effect of abuse on human physiology.

Some believed Satoshi was haunted by a resentful ghost and every night he was tortured by his dreams while he sleep. But the most audacious one of all was the rumor that Satoshi was actually in some kind of illicit relationship with Teacher Sepphira, and they were both into some very nasty kinks.

That last rumor was started and mainly advocated by Teacher Unsui.

"...elements on the table were organized according to their essence number, elementary particle configurations, and their alchemical properties. So far it contained 93 naturally occurring elements,26 synthesized elements, and 1.184 chaotic elements, but more were proposed and in the process to be validated every day. These elements were then further divided into several categories including metals, nonmetals, and…"

Tellrog's voice trailed off and finally ended with a sigh. He looked at the young man with empty eyes seated opposite him as he said, "...Satoshi."

Satoshi was startled awake from his daydream, the terror of what he went through yesterday still lingered in his mind.

"Yes, teacher Tellrog?" Satoshi asked respectfully, he just gained another level of horror toward any kind of figure in a teaching position.

"I see that you are not entirely focused this morning. How about you read some books instead? I have many books in here that should be useful to you." Tellrog suggested.

"Yes, teacher Tellrog, I should do as you say." Satoshi stood up from his seat and walked toward a bookshelf.

"The shelf to your right contained introductions and a general summary of the things that will be in the trials. You should go with those." Tellrog advised.

Satoshi checked the shelf that Tellrog mentioned and it was indeed choked full of academia books, notes, and journals. There weren't any that were particularly thick, but there were so many of them and they all covered multiple different subjects.

Looking at the shelf directly in front of him Satoshi found many fictional books with famous titles. Tellrog seemed to be the kind of person with a good work-life balance.

Satoshi took a book titled "The Elements for Dummies", because that perfectly represented how he felt right now, like a dummy. He opened the pages and began to read. There were pictures in this book and the way the subject was explained made Satoshi feel he was five. The book was perfect.

The minutes flew while Satoshi concentrated on what he was reading. A little before an hour completely passed, Satoshi was finished. As he closed the book he realized something, he didn't understand shit.

Either the book was lying by claiming for dummies or he was even dumber than a dummy.

Satoshi looked at the book in his hand then at the shelf in front of him, and the desperate reality began to set in.

'How the fuck am I supposed to understand all of this before the trials? This is just impossible.' Satoshi thought.

Unconsciously, his mind began making different kinds of scenarios and devising various methods to get through the trials by cheating. He simulated these different scenarios inside his head and came up with a way to negate them on his own. In the end, he grew even more gloomy.

'If my dumb-ass can think of such a method then those supervisors would be able to see through it instantly. So…in the end… studying is my only way out.'

Satoshi was very reluctant to admit that cheating was out of the question, he thought, "Man I wish I could at least have a look at the questions…so I could prepare…"

His mind suddenly stopped thinking at that point as something else suddenly appeared.

'If I can see..what it will be like..something like a prediction..the Evil-eye!'

'Noo…I don't think Sepphira would agree to do something like that...I might end up getting thrashed again instead…'

'Then..what if I learn the Evil-eye myself?? Wait, that would be impossible, I don't have the lineage, besides it is among the most difficult techniques to master…'

Satoshi kept thinking hard about finding his way out of his predicament instead of actually reading. His eyes were glued to the rows of books in front of him. His hand reached out and touched the spines of those books.

'What if…instead of trying to master the technique to the fullest, I focus on learning it just enough..for me to see the future in which I have finished reading this book…'

Satoshi felt like a flash of light went off in his mind and he began scouring the whole bookshelf. His eyes finally stopped when he found a book titled "Numeracy & Probability: The Fundamentals of Premonition". He took the book from the shelf and began reading it in earnest, with no skimming or scanning.

It took Satoshi a little more than three hours to finish the book, and when he was done he re-read the parts he didn't understand for another hour.

Satoshi had been in Tellrog's study for five hours and in an hour his session would be over. Satoshi put down the book he just read and took a random book from the shelf. After opening the first page of the book, Satoshi began to concentrate to apply what he just learned.

Five minutes went by without anything happening. Satoshi decided to wait for a little bit more and waited for another five minutes. After he waited for a total of fifteen minutes Satoshi stopped what he was doing and pondered.

'Something is wrong...I can't feel anything..it shouldn't be like this..'

Satoshi looked down at the book in his hand and read its title, "Advance Mechanic: Turning an Automaton into Authentic Living Being".

'What the fuck is that, no wonder I can't see shit!'

Satoshi cursed himself, even if he already had considerable attainment in the art of fabrication and refinement it would be very difficult for him to understand this book.

Satoshi returned the book to its place and began choosing another easier book. He was looking for one that had to do more with facts instead of logic and understanding. He then found a book titled "The Provinces of Afar-Asira: From Eyrrin to Russp", this should be full of descriptions and facts.

Just like before, Satoshi began to concentrate as soon as he opened the first page. Quickly, he felt a change happening in his mind and he couldn't see it, but there was now a faint glint shining in his eyes.

Satoshi unconsciously flipped to the next page and the change in his mind became more prominent, he could feel it grow. He flipped another page and it changed even more, by this point Satoshi decided to stop flipping and instead concentrated on the change within his mind.

He would let it go where it wanted to go as he would quietly observe it. Slowly but surely, the change inside his mind grew greater and greater and was now more than a feeling, Satoshi began to see words and images!

He saw colors, hills, rivers, bodies of water, mountains, a wilderness, and its natural inhabitants, different races and their civilizations, a story of their ancestors, wars and conquest, peace and collaboration. Satoshi saw all these things making their way into his brain in what seemed to be an instance.

After some time the different colors and images elongated and slowly blended into a spectrum, which in turn slowly grew darker and darker. In the end, nothing else could be seen and Satoshi was back to staring at the pages of a book titled "The Provinces of Afar-Asira: From Eyrrin to Russp".

Nothing seemed to change on the outside but now Satoshi had the images described in the book inside his mind. Even better, he felt like he had been there himself!

"Yea bitch, Evil-eye!" Satoshi screamed out of delight, startling Tellrog that was reading on his desk.

Without concern about what he just screamed in front of Tellrog, Satoshi reached for another book, he wanted to make sure he got the feeling just right before he forgot. He reached for a book titled "The Broken Plateau of Nevas: Continents of Twins", and directly entered the state he was in before.

Satoshi entered the state for a brief moment before a bold idea came into his mind. He reached for another book in front of him, he was now holding one book in each of his hands as he returned to that state he was in.

On this second time, Satoshi struggled for a bit to enter the state but was eventually able to. In fact, he finished it even faster than he did the first time around! In the time he would need to finish one of the books, he had finished reading two books.

Satoshi put down the two books he was holding haphazardly on the floor and reached for two more books before he took another one. He was going to do three at the same time!

Satoshi was like a demon that was set loose into a little village. He was greedy and there was nothing that could stop him. And he won't stop, and he can't stop!

Times went by like this as Satoshi tried to add more and more books. In the end, he settled on four books at the same time. Any more and he won't be able to concentrate or the times needed to finish them would instead grow longer. So Satoshi settled with four books at the same time, and every time he was done he would reach in front of him for four new books!

Without realizing it, Satoshi had blown through his session with Tellrog and was now supposed to be in Unsui's study. After waiting for 45 minutes and there was no sign of Satoshi, Unsui decided to check with Tellrog, only to find Satoshi over there, facing some books while looking at empty space.

Six more hours went by and was now supposed to be Sepphira's session. Tellrog and Unsui were happily conversing over tea and biscuits, while Satoshi was still like how he was before. There were now almost no books left on the bookshelves in front of him, they were now scattered all over the floor.

With a light knock, Sepphira came into the study and was surprised to find Unsui there, conversing with Tellrog. She had come to his study earlier and couldn't find him. She looked at the two of them and then at Satoshi with books scattered all around him.

"He had been like that all these hours so we didn't dare to disturb him," Tellrog said to Sepphira before she even asked.

"He looked to be in a very strange state of numeration…very strange, that one…" Unsui further explained while repeatedly shifting his gaze between Sepphira and Satoshi.

Sepphira walked closer to Satoshi to see what in the world was going on, only to be startled as she was just getting closer.

"HA!! I knew it! It was indeed like that, he was the last Porcrux!" Satoshi suddenly shouted startling everyone.

"What happened??" Sepphira impatiently asked as she was actually worried why Satoshi didn't show up for their session.

Satoshi was just back from his visions and just realized that there were now three teachers intently staring at him. He felt nervous but instantly turned bashful when he remembered the amazing thing he just did.

"Hahaha, teachers, sorry for suddenly yelling like that. I was just too happy." Satoshi explained himself.

"You won't believe what I just did, but I have basically finished reading all of these books!" He proudly announced his achievement.

The three of them were surprised, especially Tellrog, since he knew how many books were on that shelf.

"Hahaha, you must be thinking that I am lying, but I am not! I have simply found a method to look into the future in which I have read all of these books! That's how I got it done so fast!"

Sepphira was now the especially surprised one. She didn't know whether Satoshi was lying or not, but she knew that it was technically possible to do but will still be very difficult. Especially because the amount of mental stress it would incur on the person doing it would be too big!

"What do you think? In this way, I can greatly shorten my reading time. Even if I'm not particularly smart on my own, if I stack it like this, average smart on top of average smart, it would still be pretty smart, right?"

"Eiii…you still look like you don't believe me…how about this, I have finished all the books in the Parry Hotter series and the Twylait Sagas! Ask me anything about them!" Satoshi proclaimed.

The three teachers were now beyond startled and were at a loss for words. Tellrog looked at the bookshelf Satoshi had emptied and gave Unsui a look. Unsui saw the look and on his face were the color of both amazement and pity.

"So you have read all the Parry Hotter and the Saga of Creepy Vampires vs Emo Werewolves, huh…" Sepphira said slowly, her voice flat and emotionless.

Satoshi didn't know why, but he felt that something was wrong "Tha-that's right, I have finished them!"

"Good, good, good!" Sepphira said good three times.

"Then let me ask this...If we stack an idiot, on top of an idiot, on top of an idiot, what do you think we will get?"

"..I-i don't know, what?" Satoshi meekly asked.

Sepphira began her answer with gritted teeth and her voice became louder with each word,

"We will get you! An idiot, with idiot topping, and idiot filling! That's you! You are an idiot sandwich!!"

——

Author Note:

Something good happened today. I have been waiting for something good to happen in my life for quite some times.

Wherever you are in life right now, I hope good thing happen to you soon too. Whether you are in a bad place or in a bad place, please hang in there and take care of one another.