Chapter 41

Thinking, I remind myself on an exhale.

* * * *

Kate and I arrive at the bar just after eleven. She jitters as she hands the bouncer her ID, enters as if she’s entering the underworld. She’s been here before, of course, but this time is different—she’s newly initiated as one of us.

Meow Mix feels peculiar tonight—though, of course, it’s just me. I’ve been coming here for years, and it’s always retained the beautiful air of queer possibility for me. I normally bristle with anticipation as I enter; not tonight. The cavernous space has lost its magic; at least, for the time being.

I nod toward the bar. “Come, let’s get a drink.”

We sit, order our drinks. Kate quietly takes it in, checks out the girls as they pass.

“How, exactly, do you go about hitting on someone?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Just start a conversation. Look, is there someone that seems interesting?”