Delusional

As he thought, my face did get swollen. It's been a few days, and it's still throbbing but I believe this will be better soon. I refuse to see a doctor since it's not that bad. But he keeps forcing me, so we went to see a doctor. Nothing changed though, it's still swollen. But I do get some cream. Well, it's not the first time. It's not that bad, at least no one comes at me to flirt when I looked like this.

I parked my car in the parking lot. Yes, I'm going outside today, by myself. I went for groceries shopping. Yes, I drive, yes I lost even though I used the navigation apps. Yes, I used the elevator and yes, I did get nervous but I made it. Everything went so well today.

As I get out of the car, I quickly took the trolley that Ayden bought me yesterday, for me, so I can carry them in my car. It will be easier for me to carries all of the plastic bags from the car to our house, he said. I admitted, yes it's convenient. I like it. I opened the boot and picked up all the bags and put them on the trolley. Yup, I like this one.

I wonder what's Ayden's doing right now. He said he had a magazines photoshoot today, and I need to go buy groceries. Yes, I'm still working as a housekeeper even though he didn't want me to. But honey, I love money. And I love my work.

I glanced at my trolley, full of groceries as I walked to the lift. I pushed the lift button with a big smile.

And I'm trying so hard right here. I have pepper spray with me and wear the necklace Ayden gave me, it helps me to soothe my anxiety. If anything happens, just spray this straight to their eyes, kick them on their groin. Got it!

"Ah, so you're living here? I'm having a hard time tracking you down, Maddie."

Hm?

The silence was loud for twenty seconds. In that twenty-second, I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. And I could feel I'm having a hard time thinking.

I...swear...I'm hearing something. And I could see something from the outer corner of my eyes. A man figure, standing next to me.

"It took me a few weeks actually," he said. "How are you? Last time I saw you was...umm...three years ago? Right?"

Fuck.

"Ah, my mistake. It's a few weeks ago, remembers? That night...when I'm visiting you? And at the hospital."

It was as if there was a huge lump stuck inside my trachea. I can't breathe. He tossed a white small plastic bag inside my trolley, tucking his hands in his jean. He wears a black hoodie and a cap. He looked straight to the elevator door, so I do the same.

What is this? A dream? No...It's not, I don't think this is a dream anymore.

"I just went outside for a few minutes and you have a dog coming to you huh? Like a knight in shining armour, calling you princess. A knight who saved you, what are you? Damsel in distress? Did he know that you are my fucking sex toy, Maddie?"

I frowned. The fuck is he talking about.

"I guess, three years apart is too long, did you get bored waiting for me?"

"Shut the fuck up," I said, cold. I even turned my head to look at him and he is disgusting as ever. "Shut the fuck up," I repeated myself.

"Wow, what a progression. Impressive. Where did she go? My Maddie?"

"I killed her. She died. That night, that you said you would come to visit me? I killed her that night. Right here!" I showed him my newest wound and I could see his eyebrows twitching. "I stabbed her with a knife, and she died that night. You can't find her anymore, she will never come back." I said, and the lift door open. I get inside the lift and he just stood there, staring at me with a frown. But not long.

He pulls his disgusting smile back.

"I like new you too. Feisty. Better. Ah, now that I think. You always like this, to begin with. I just don't know why you act like a wimp three years ago," he said, and I quickly pushed the closed button but he went even quicker, stepping inside. He pushed button fifty-six, and I felt my anxiety rushed over my head. Did he know that I live there?

I pushed button thirty-two as a reflection. How did he know? How did he know?

"Where's our baby? He's supposed to be...uhh eleven this year? Right?"

At that moment, I'm choked. What did he say? Our? Our? I clenched the trolley, thinking that he just gave me a full reason why I should kill him. I am surprised how I'm not scared of him, at all, but disgusted.

"Is he doing fine? Did you have enough money to raise him? As a housekeeper?"

He knew! He knew! He knew I'm a housekeeper so he knew I live on floor fifty-six. He knew all along. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!

"He died. I killed him." I said. And he laughed. The lift stopped at floor thirty-two, and he stepped outside, turning back his body to face me as he put his hand against the door, to prevent it from closing.

"I know," he said, laughing. Looking at me up and down, with that fucking disgusting look! He knows.

"I will come back, picking you up, Maddie. So be prepared. You're coming with me."

I smirked. Hah! "When that day comes, you probably saw me bleeding again, and you might run away again because you are a coward. Like three years ago. Remember? How did you run away, because you saw me bleeding?"

He looked at me straight with a cold stare, smiling faintly, gripping into the lift door hard. As if he wanted to punch me for defying him.

"I ran away?" he laughed. He let go of his hand off the door, standing straight as he put his hands on his pocket jeans. "See you later, Madisson Iyves. I will pick you up, or maybe you will come back to me."

He was smiling, and the door closed. I gasped for air, it's hard to breathe and I fell to the floor. Fuck! Fuck!

I quickly let out my phone from my pocket and dialled Ayden's phone number.

"Hello-"

"He's here…" I said, crying all of sudden. I guess I am still scared? I don't know. All of the mixed feelings messed my mind up. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I am disgusted. Why?

Why now?

Why now?

I sobbed. Clenching my shirt, why did he mentioned the part that I don't want to talk about? What does he want?

"Where are you?" I could hear how anxious the voice was from the other line.

"Lift...home."

"Don't hang up, princess, I will be there."

I hugged my trembling knees and hid my face in them. Crying all of my heart out. I want to wash my whole body just because I met him today.

And he had that audacity to talk about my child?

-----

Ayden wrapped me with a blanket and he gave me a warm chocolate drink. And I don't understand why he has wrapped me up since it's summer. He just makes me sweat even more. But I appreciate his effort to comfort me.

He even wipes my tears nonstop. When I arrived at our penthouse foyer, I just went inside the house quickly. I'm scared if that bastard comes and dragged me away. And when Ayden arrived, he looks different.

His hair was styled differently, he wore makeup, and his all-black outfit looked a little bit stand out.

And he still looks like that. He is so cool though. He looks so cool. But I was not in the situation to compliment him.

He sat on the coffee table in front of me, wrapping me tightly with the warm blanket. I'm getting hot though. Drinking warm choco.

"Are you okay?" he rubbed me tight softly. "I'm sorry, I should be with you."

"He came by. That night, it wasn't a dream. It's reality. I guess I fainted, that's why I thought it's a dream."

He smiles faintly. But I don't know...I hate that looked. He looked like...sympathy. Not concern. But sympathy. Just pure sympathy that I get during...shit!

"Did you see the vision again in the lift?" he asked, I know he is concerned. I know...but I'm scared, that he will be the same.

"It's not a vision," I said. "It's the reality, he was there!" My voice started to shake. Please, said that you believe me. Please. Don't...

"Princess…" he sighed and grabbed my hands softly. "Maybe...maybe it because you have another panic attack? Like before?"

No...why? I could hear something inside me shattered. Was it my heart? My trust? Or it just myself. I keep chanting that he would never act like anyone else...

"Did you just think that I made it up? A panic attack? No, Ayden! I know what I saw. I know it's real. It's him! I saw him. It's not a fucking panic attack. If I did, I wouldn't be here. I will be stuck in the lift!" I said, raising my voice. He looked a bit shocked.

"Princess, I didn't mean it that way," he said, softly.

"You just did." I gave him the mug, and he received it, putting it down on the table.

"You still new to this stuff, baby. So I thought that maybe, you were not used to it. You scared of using the lift, for some reason, so I thought, to be using it by yourself all alone, it would be hard that you might saw the past in your head."

"You mean delusional?" I gasped, I'm choking.

"Baby…"

"Is this delusional too?" I threw a white small plastic that the bastard left inside the trolley just now, right on his face. "So when I saw him at the hospital, that was also delusional too? Is that what you mean? It was all inside my head?"

"Listen to me, Maddison."

"No. You listen to me!" I roared. "I know you think that I'm sick inside here!" I pointed my head as I said that, I heard something crashing inside me. My heart. "But at least I know that that bastard is real! He came, visiting me, talking. He even knows where I lived, what I'm doing, my job, my life. He knows! Better than you did. And here I thought, I should tell you first about it because we made a promise that we have to talk about everything! Here I am, thinking, that you're not like them, completely transparent in front of you. Here I am, thinking that you will at least, comforting me but what did you say? Delusional?"

"Maddison, listen to me!" he said, still calm and collected.

"I'm not lying! He's here! I swear!" I yelled. I am telling the truth. But why did he look at me like it's all happened in my head? Or am I delusional?

"Did you think I went crazy?" I sobbed. And he slowly sat next to me and hugged me tightly.

"No you're not, you're fine. You right. I should believe you. I'm sorry." he said, but I think he didn't mean it. So I pushed him and stood up. I'm tired. "Maddison." I know he's following me, I know he cares for me. I felt hurt.

Call me selfish for that.

"I want to go home," I said lazily, climbing up the stairs slowly.

"This is your home, baby," he said, softly. Shit, I forgot.

"Jade's house." I stopped and turned to face him. "Send me to Jade's."

He frowned. But not long, he slowly smiles, faintly and nodded.

"Alright, let's go there, okay? Go take some rest first, I will pack our stuff, and we will go this evening, at five? Okay?"

"Now!" I said I can't stand it anymore. "I want to go now!"

"Alright...give me a minute, okay? Get ready, baby."

I nodded and slowly climbed up and went to the first room I could reach. I locked the door and sobbed. It's not delusional. It's not. I clenched my necklace, trying to calm down, but the more I touched it, the more pain I get.