Letters to Mom (IX)

"Jeiro, are you alright?" Ronnie kept shaking my arm while my tears ran down my face. I wiped my eyes with my elbow and entered back at the inn, chasing at the woman I saw. "Victoria!" I shouted inside, causing up a stir. She faced me with a curious face. "Victoria Smith, yes, I'm referring to you," I said more specifically. She unlinked her arm with the man and replied, "Excuse me, do I know you?" I smirked. "Oh, no. You don't. It would be funny if you do because you left me, didn't you?" I said, smiling sarcastically.

"Is he one of your customers?" the man asked her. "Oh no, baby, I don't even remember him. Let us go," she said, paying no attention to me. "At least let me see my sister, you whore," I shouted. She flinched and faced me once more. Her eyes widened as she flinched from what I said. "J-Jeiro?" She stammered. "Thought you didn't know me?" I cried. Ronnie patted my back.

"Jeiro, w-why are you here… y-you've grown," she says as she tries to make her way towards me, only to be barricaded by Ronnie. "Look, Miss, I don't know what you did to my friend here, but from the looks of it, you hurt him badly so please don't go any closer," he warns. "That's my son!" She says to Ronnie whom was shocked at what she said. Even the foreign man was surprised.

Mom had a thick layer on her face. On her body was golden colored dress with silver accessories on her neck, wrists, and ears. "Jeiro… I can't believe I'll see you again," she says. "Of course you didn't. You thought I'd die in the winter didn't you? Or get in a foster home or something?" I hissed. "No, Jeiro, I didn't I promised myself to come back to you, I really did. I just didn't have enough money for your tickets and—." I raised a hand over her face.

"I didn't confront you for your lousy excuses. What I wanted to know is where my sister is?!" I asked. "She's in London, Jeiro. Sophie's in secondary school now. Your stepfather and his new wife is taking custody of her," she answered nervously. My hand curled into a fist as my teeth grinded violently. "Why did they took custody and not you?! Is it because you're a sick whore who knew nothing but to get laid?!" I shouted at her.

She cried and got on her knees, her makeup ruined. "Jeiro, scream everything at me, yes, pour all your anger out. What you're saying is true anyways but son, please, is there any room for forgiveness in your heart?" She clasped her hands together, pleading for forgiveness from me. "Did you even read my letters?" I asked. I did, but I lost it, Jeiro." The people in the inn's lobby stared at the commotion. "I have them, Victoria. You left them when you came back here and left with my sister."

I turned my back on the kneeling lady and took my first steps towards the exit. Ronnie followed. Before I could finally exit the door, I left my last words to her, "By the way, clean your face up. It would be shameful for your customer." Me and Ronnie left the premises for good.

That was not my mother. That was Victoria.

Ronnie and I took a taxi and started making our way towards the train station. I just stared at the window while he looked at me with complete worry and guilt on his face. "I know you don't know me very deeply yet but know that I am here for you, Jeiro, okay?" I smiled and nodded at him. "Thanks, Ronnie. That woman tore my heart into a million shit. She doesn't even deserve to wear all those accessories and everything."

"Shh, it's okay. Let it all out," Ronnie said.

We arrive at the station and currently are waiting for the next train. "I feel a bit better now," I claimed. "Really?" Ronnie asks, "Because if your just rushing yourself to be okay, that's not good okay?" I smiled slightly, "I know. I'm pretty certain that I'm a bit calmer now. I mean, after all these years, I finally vented all of my anger on her." Ronnie pursed his lips, "Yup, you really did."

My phone vibrated. "Hello Allison?" I answered the call. "Where in the name of Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune did you go last night?! Jeez, you and Ronnie just popped out of existence like a bubble or something. Where are the both of you?" This isn't a good time, Ally. "Look, Allison, I'm not really in the mood right now to talk to you on the phone. Just go to my place when I call you again, okay? Bring Kyle." I ended the call. "You want to go to my place too?" I asked Ronnie.

"Sure. I'll help you get over it," Ronnie says. I nodded as the train arrived. We hopped on and proceeded to our stations.

"Your Mom?!" I thought she moved to London?" Allison says. The four of us sat at the living room of our house while eating bags of chips and a bottle of beer at the coffee table. "I don't know the whole story but it seems like our previous stepfather has a new wife. Maybe that drove her back here," I said before gulping a glass of beer. "Hey, you know you shouldn't drink much about this, don't you?" Kyle said worriedly. "Who cares? My intolerance is quite high anyways," I shrugged before taking another shot.

"Ronnie, how was it?" Kyle asked Ronnie. "Umm… it was intense and everyone was looking at us," He states. "Good thing I wasn't there or else I would've pulled her hair around," Allison rants before grabbing a handful of chips. "That man that she was with must've been so turned off," I said before laughing. Allison, Kyle, and Ronnie looked at each other as if planning something. They look worried sickly. I don't know why but I'll just drink beer until I pass out.

"Jeiro!" A familiar voice arrived. Father. "Yes, father?" I sprung up. "Why are you drinking beer in the middle of the afternoon?" I thought deeply but my head is starting to swirl. Looks like alcohol is kicking in. "Why father is that bad?" I asked. "No, but it would be better if you drank it in the evening, don't you?"

"Mr. Powers," Allison stood, "With all due respect, but isn't it better for you to stop encouraging Jeiro about drinking? He's got a problem and he's got to face it, not drink about it." Father tilted his head. "What's the matter, Jeiro?"

"Father, my biological mother… I saw her. Argh, I'm so pissed," I said. "Jeiro, calm down. Didn't you keep those letters that you wrote for her? Where is it?" Father asked. "I don't even know why I kept those useless shit. Argh, I'm pissed even more! I might as well burn them," I groaned. "Then let's burn them," Father suggests, "Fredrick, set a bonfire at the backyard." Father's assistant bowed before making his way outside. "I can't believe we're doing this now, Father," I pinched the flesh between my eyes. "Yes we are. Get those letters, we're burning 'em."

He's a multi-billionaire man who owns three companies yet he still has time for these kinds of shit. "Kyle, Allison, and… you are?" Father asks Ronnie's name. I forgot he hasn't met him yet. "Ronnie, sir, a friend of Jeiro," Ronnie offered his hand. Father accepted and shook it, "Paul Powers. Nice to meet you, young man. Do you study in Stardelle as well?" Ronnie nodded. "That's good. You must be a talented one as well," Ronnie blushed. "Well, Kyle, Allison, and Ronnie, let's help this whining son of mine to burn his old and bad memories.

It wasn't long 'til I found all of us, surrounding a fire outside the house. I held the letters I've written for mom years ago. Deep down, there's still love in me for her and burning these letters is going to hurt that love deep in me. The thought of her, leaving me alone for another man is stronger though. She even can't take custody for her own daughter, psh. Pathetic. "Okay," Father clasped his hands together, "This is how it goes. We all take a letter and we burn it to the fire. Got it?" I objected at him, "Why read them? Why not just burn it?"

"It's for you, Jeiro."

"I'll do first," Allison initiates, taking one letter from my hand. She reads, "Dear mom, Sophie and I are still in the house. We did like you said, to not leave even though the landlady says so. I believe that you'll be able to send us money soon, mom. Hang on tight there, okay? Me and Sophie are cheering for you. Love, Jeiro and Sophie." Allison tosses the letter to the fire.

Mom never paid the landlady and we were dragged out of the house.

"I'm next," Kyle does what Allison did, "Dear mom, I really miss dad. It's almost a year since he's gone. It's going to be hard for me but I know it's going to be harder for Sophie. She's three years old, Mom. I can't comfort her by myself. We need you here, mom. Please come back soon. Love, Jeiro." The paper Kyle was holding is now ashes.

Sophie cried and cried that day. I had to repress my emotions for her. Mom never arrived.

"I'll be next," Father volunteers, "Dear mom, the landlady dragged us out. We managed to rent a small apartment near the house with the remaining money we have. It's small, rusty, and ugly. But we can manage mom, we will wait for you. Do your best there. Love, Jeiro and Sophie." Off to the fire you go.

Sophie and I only lasted for a day there. We were on the streets the next day.

"There's two more," I said, "I guess these letters are really made for this moment. They were to be burned and forgotten. I'll take this and Ronnie, take this." Ronnie took the letter I gave him. "Read yours, Ronnie," Father asked. Ronnie nodded, "Dear mom, please go home. I can't be a big brother anymore. Please go home. I can't live like this. I need you here. I can't take care of Sophie by myself mom, please. I love you. Love, Jeiro." Burn.

She did come, not for me though.

"Last one and this is over," I said before opening up the letter. My eyes widened as I saw the first words. "Dear my sweethearts, Mom's doing her best. I'm happy to say that I'm going home. Jeiro, thank you for taking care of your little sister. You've done great. I'm so proud of you. Jeiro, as early as now, I'm saying sorry to you. I might do something that might hurt you and I may never see you again. All that I'm saying, my son, is please hang tight. Live and be strong. Wait for Mommy, Jeiro. Know that I love you very much. You and Sophie mean everything to me. Love, Mom."

I couldn't take it longer. Tears went running down my face as my hand shivered on the letter. This is the letter that I've forgotten about because of all the anger I had towards mom. "So, Jeiro," Father called me, "Are you going to burn that or not?" I looked at my friends and they were staring at me in sad faces. "This is the only thing that makes me feel that my mother, for once, at least loved me. How can I burn something like this?" I said, crying hard.

"But he's forgotten about you, Jeiro," Kyle and Allison said in unison. I closed my eyes as my hands crumple the piece of paper before throwing it into the blazing fire. "Sorry, Victoria. You're a memory now. But I won't be greedy for forgiveness. I just need some time."

Two arms suddenly embraced me. I suddenly felt warm. My rushing breath came to calmer phase and my heart that was rapidly beating became normal. Ronnie's hugging me.

I hugged him back. "You'll get through this, Jeiro. Be strong. I'm here for you," He whispers. At that moment, I felt peace, comfort, and protection. Things I never felt from my mother. It wasn't long 'til Kyle, Allison, and Father joined in embrace.

I'm very thankful for these people. Because of them, I'm able to feel something that I hadn't felt before.

I felt loved.