Extra: The World That Lost Color

**Warning: Suicidal thoughts**

The monotonous life continued even after their relationship was established. As the world celebrated the birth of a powerful couple, but all Ren Jian could feel was indifference. Maybe... maybe this indifference was a shield against something that he dared not touch.

"Son, you are getting married tomorrow, why are you still up so late?" Mother Ren pushed the door to his room and saw the desolate back looking at the moon on his balcony.

The man turned back to face her, revealing an exhausted look with his hollow face and heavy eyebags, the handsome face was no longer seen. Mother Ren's heart wrenched at this sight, her son became so pitiful when he should have been the happiest groom.

"I'm fine, mom... I just couldn't sleep." Ren Jian helplessly sighed and dragged himself back into the room.

"Excited for the big day?" Mother Ren tried her best to lighten up the mood. She walked in and sat down at a small table, gesturing for him to sit down with her.

But all he could offer was silence and tiredness flashed through his eyes. He sat down and poured a cup of water for both of them.

"Have you... heard anything about... him?" Her voice was small and low, barely audible. But Ren Jian could hear every single word clearly.

His face grew colder and shook his head lightly.

Once upon a time, a little boy had trouble making friends due to his status as well as his expressionless face. However, he hardly felt lonely as he was surrounded by maids and servants. He thought it was a good life, even without friends, he could still live leisurely albeit the world was grey to him.

Then one day, a boy with the most beautiful pair of eyes that he have ever seen appeared in front of him, showing him the brightest smile that helped him see the world full of color. He was stunned but quickly dismissed it and treated him like any other kid that tried to befriend him with other intentions. Usually, with his firm refusal, they all left, but that boy did not leave but followed him around, chat with him and play with him in high spirit. His heart started to waver and soon enough they grew a bond.

It was only later that he learned that that boy was the same as him, also with aristocratic roots. But different from him, that boy always shone and attracted people near him, making them love him. It was the same for him, he grew to love him. Sadly, he only realized it when it was too late.

After a round of comfort from mother Ren, Ren Jian sent her out of his room and finally sank into his bed. His heart was too stuffy to fall asleep so he just looked at the ceiling in silence.

Ding!

Until a notification sound from his phone interrupted the quiet atmosphere. Ren Jian reached his hand to the bedside and grabbed his phone without much thought, only when he saw the sender did he jump up.

It was the private investigator he hired to track down the disappearance of Lai Yongliang. His missing case was a huge sensation in the country as he was the only son of a prestigious family. And ever since he learned that Lai Yongliang was missing, he could not eat or sleep without the urge of his parents. Even Sun Xia could not convince him to do anything. All he ever did was bury his head into work to distract himself.

**I'm sorry, sir. Young master Lai, unfortunately...**

Before he could read the rest of the sentence, his breath hitched and the time seemed to stop moving. His chest was swirling and twisting, causing him immense pain that made him hyperventilate. His condition had been unstable ever since he witnessed the scene of a girl in Lai Yongliang's arms like in the rumors. He had to be prescribed medicine to calm down. However, he was in no mood to find it right now.

His hand covered his mouth, hiding his grave expression before turning on the phone screen again.

**I'm sorry, sir. Young master Lai, unfortunately, met with a car accident in a remote town he was hiding in.

Due to the fact that it was too remote, the driver made a hit and run, leaving no one to discover his situation until yesterday. His corpse was identified and reports were sent to the Lai family already. I have found that they are in possession of a letter addressing to you from young master Lai.**

Ren Jian closed his eyes. He really wished those first letters he read would not be followed by those words, but alas, what he dreaded came true. The eyes that were full of mourning, grief, and pain were washed away and replaced by a dull and emotionless pair of eyes.

"So tiring..."

The room fell into complete silence

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"Jian-ge! Where are you?!"

Sun Xia was full of panic when the groom was nowhere to be present at the reception. Everything should have been perfect on this day. Today was supposed to be when her life reached its peak. She tried to call him multiple times but no one answered.

What she denied in her heart finally came out, Ren Jian was never interested in her. It was her delusion all along and she pulled him into this shackle called responsibility. But it was already the last step, she was unwilling to give up.

"Mother! Mother! Do you know where is Jian-ge?!?" She grabbed mother Ren who entered the room at that moment.

Mother Ren looked at her for a moment and shook her head.

"The wedding and this marriage... are canceled."

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That morning, Ren Jian drove to the Lai residence, not too fast but also not too slow. He just drove with a blank face until he reached the gate.

As if they already expected his arrival, the gate automatically opened for Ren Jian to come in. But no one of the Lai family came out to welcome him, the atmosphere in the lively Lai residence changed into a heavy and dreading one.

The head butler stood in front of the car door, signaling Ren Jian to roll down his window. In his hand was a white envelope.

"Is that from Yongliang?" Ren Jian did not look at the resentful eyes of the butler but focused on that white color.

"Young master Ren, I hope that this will be the last time you stepped into the Lai land." The butler carefully gave the letter to Ren Jian and turned away immediately. It was a clear sign to drive him away.

Ren Jian had no reaction but looked at the white envelope in his hand. He carefully tucked it in his suit and drove out.

There was no destination, he just let his mind carry him to wherever it was. Only after a while did he realize that he was driving to the beautiful beach where Lai Yongliang said goodbye to him before going abroad.

He parked his car and walked onto the sand, letting the salty cold air brush his skin and hair. Then he took out the envelope and opened it.

His eyes traced the lines of text written on it one by one. His eyes did not stop moving. However, his hands started to tremble but he did not dare to grip the letter too hard. The blank face shattered and incredible grief and love appeared.

His knees became weak and instantly kneeled on the sand. He clutched the letter into his chest, letting his drops of tears fall onto the sand.

"I'm sorry, Yongliang, I'm sorry... I love you..."

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"Dearest Jian-ge,

I love you. But, I also hate you so much. Being in my heart for so many years, how come you never notice it? Oh right, I never confess. I'm sorry.

When I first met you, you were like a prince stepping out of a fairy tale. People may say you look apathetic but your tender action of care always captures my heart. Do you remember when I wanted to see a lotus up close and you had no hesitation jumping in the mud to pick one for me? Your face was dirty with mud but you held no expression at all. It was so funny.

I thought that we would eventually be together as if destined to be. However, the more I grew up, the more distant we became. That was when I realized my feelings may be one-sided and all your actions were just for a rare friend you had. So I moved away and sealed my feelings. I know, it was stupid. I should have talked to you but it was already too late.

All those rumors about me, I didn't bother with it because it was untrue. I don't know if this letter would ever reach you, I would want to at least solve this misunderstanding. I have no interest in women! I thought our long years of friendship would at least give you confidence about me. But I was wrong apparently.

So I moved back here, hiding pathetically. I heard that you got engaged to that pretty actress too. Her name was Sun Xia? Congratulations, Jian-ge. I hope you are happy.

Love you sincerely,

Lai Yongliang."

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That letter was simple but it hit Ren Jian badly. He was in a daze for a month before snapping out of it.

Even if he did not directly cause Lai Yongliang's death, it was him giving a hand to it. If only he reached out and talked to him, if only they communicated better, if only he realized his feelings before any of this ever happened,... but it was just wishful thoughts.

After he witnessed Yongliang with the actress with his own eyes, he was too disappointed, shocked, and rejected that it clouded his judgment. He never found out the source of the rumors. Even if it was late, he had to clear Lai Yongliang's name, not to pray for his forgiveness but to know how wrong he was.

He hired more people to investigate the matter that had been buried for a long time. It was hard to track down any leads. However, a small actress that quit his company finally showed up. She gave her testimony about anything that happened, about the dealings with Sun Xia, and how Sun Xia stirred up the rumors. The small actress was living in guilt, with Sun Xia's paranoia about her exposing the matter. Sun Xia suppressed the small actress silently, forcing her to quit the company. Only after the death of young master Lai came out that she could not handle the guilt anymore, she decided to confess her involvement including all the proofs that she carefully stored away from Sun Xia.

Ren Jian's forehead was pulsing. He remembered Lai Yongliang's warning about Sun Xia that he had brushed off, he thought the boy was being jealous and was amused. Who knew that mistake cost him his life!

So Ren Jian prepared to press charges against her and cancel her contracts. Of course, the world was in a frenzy again, from a powerful couple turned into bitter enemies!

Ren Jian won and Sun Xia had to pay huge compensation fees. But she did not cause the death directly so she was not in prison. But her life was not good, she was rejected by various companies, and even part-time jobs were not willing to hire her. Living the life of luxury was the norm for her so when she became like this, she could not take it and decided to find another way out.

Ren Jian also found the hit-and-run driver and threw him in jail. If the driver stopped and help Lai Yongliang, he might have kept his life. But he was a coward that tugged his tail after doing a terrible deed, it was surprisingly not his first offense but three cases of hit-and-run were connected to him. That man did not have a pleasant time in prison under the instruction of Ren Jian.

Lastly, the person who he wanted to punish the most was himself. After dealing with them, he drowned in work and alcohol, barely taking care of himself. His health quickly deteriorated and only had a few years to live with liver cancer. He could have treated it but he denied treatment.

"This way, I could meet him faster."

It was not like he did not think about ending his life. But it carried heavy sins, he might not be able to meet his pure and sweet Lai Yongliang that way. He slowly waited for his natural death to come.

In his last moment, his parents gathered around his bed looking sorrowful. However, his face was full of relief and contentment. In the corner of his heavy eyelids, a blurry silhouette stood by his side, caressing his hand gently.

He smiled at the familiar warmth and closed his eyes forever.